epidemiics

[epidemiics]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[epidemiics]

I literally react to notes like the small old family hotel in a musical:

A guest? A guest! It really is a guest! I never thought I'd ever see the daaaay! Mamá come downstairs, we have a customer! I can't believe we really have a gueeeeest!

Do you want to have a seat? Maybe a cup of tea? You'll have the best room in this hoteeeel! Now we'll let you get some rest, it's probably for the best, tomorrow will be such a lovely daaaaay <3

[epidemiics]

writing my first fic ever and. im just curious like. how bad are ai written fics? like ik theyre nowhere near as good as a fic written by a hospitalized author who doesnt predominantly speak english, but i never have and never will read one. like I just wanna know, can somebody who's read one tell me

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my favorite gender: crosshair

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i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

[epidemiics]

I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

[epidemiics]

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

[epidemiics]

Well, I have a dirty mind. 

[epidemiics]

Wait how will there be gambling under communism if we don't have money?

your concern about communism is ... lack of gambling?

[epidemiics]

how i see myself (as all the books i read)

New bedtime routine: Shower, brush teeth, moisturize, recite Litany Against Fear from Dune out loud in the mirror, read A Litany for Survival by Audre Lorde in complete silence under a big lamp, materialize in bedroom to do 10 dracula sit ups 10 werewolf push ups 10 Frankenstein squats and 3 little circles on the bed, look out the window toward an eerie light source that represents the false promise of the American Dream, park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me

[epidemiics]

[epidemiics]

thinking of putting this up in my yard one day. thoughts?

[epidemiics]

a shockingly high resolution for any trans people who might come across this 🫡

Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh

It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be

What

Huh???

[epidemiics]

if i had a nickle for everytime i watched a movie with an immortal mercenary character i'd have two nickles. it's not a lot but its weird that it happened twice

[epidemiics]

wyd if me and my cryptid girlfriend with a million arms and seven eyes sit across from u on the bus?