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halfway through august, test 3 days later, haven't started yet What am i gonna do to myself?

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between my old tumblr getting accidentally deleted and creating this one, why did I suddenly stop making actual posts about f1 and pop culture? Where did I suddenly go missing? I don't like that

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So apparently I have double eyelids(that are attractive) and luscious eyebrows (the other girl called it jhadu coz she was jealous)

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One of the funnest thing to me is when we, Charles’s fans, go “Charles is Ferrari’s golden boy, Il Predestinato, he loves Ferrari, he bleeds Ferrari red” — and it kills me every time.

Because like… what other color would Charles Leclerc bleed??

Are we implying Lando bleeds papaya?!

Mercedes drivers bleed silver?!

Max Verstappen bleeds Red Bull??!

Honestly… he probably does with the amount of Red Bull he drinks.

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so my contact name has been changed from [first name][last name] to just [first name] finally last week

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just fell to my knees

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haven't held a pen in so long that now i need to learn how to properly hold it without hurting my fingers again

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I've very few friends, I feel lonely. Actually jealous of Swapna di's friendships🧿, may i get to experience that in this life too

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Dream life?

Let's see. Financially stable in a big city, with the love of my life, who lives just nearby and a horde of friends who'd cross ocean for me and I for them. Cocooned in love, it envelopes me, flows around me, through me. I'ven't questioned if I'm truly loved or just an obligation in years.

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Went to that railway station to drop Swapna di. Idk why but it feels whimsical, like the new season of a sitcom where characters are moving away, paving new paths. Me beginnings or perhaps the end.

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There doesn't go a day when I don't miss him. It's been 2 years, I wonder when will it stop.

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Queen Elizabeth passed away in 2022. September, 2022. This just doesn't sit right with me.

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I'm sorry if I am being extra and i do realise this is very parasocial of me but it warmed up my heart reading that kinda-goodboy post on main. I remember last year, talking to u then(it's ok if u don't rem me, u must have plethora of fan msgs) and well.. things weren't the best. I am glad your social life, your work is keeping u too busy to write. May God bless you now and forever, may you glow brighter everyday. 1000 fics is real poetic ngl

You are deffo not being extra and I absolutely remember talking to you. Would never forget, especially bc I don’t have that many messages or think of anyone as a “fan” 😭🤣

But thank you so much, this is so sweet and yeah last year was a very dark place for me ngl. But deffo in a much better place, actually seeing a man (but won’t get ahead of myself there) and just being more social with some old friends.

I do feel like it won’t be the end forever but I’m also not making any promises. I was tempted to write a fic for Lando’s Silverstone win but the energy from fans that has followed just ruined the vibe for me. Also Oscar getting hate now? Like what?

Anyway won’t go down that rabbit hole. But yeah just thank you so much for this message and all the support you’ve given me and continued to give me. It has not gone unnoticed I promise you that.

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Fear: what if i give it my all and still don't make it a little voice in my head: nipun did right, look at him free of all worries & fear

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named that dumbass ghar-ghar krne wala cooler in his room gajodhar

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A sudden thought, for the first time in years. What if my eczema got cured if i actually took my meds on time all those years? Or if mom dad took me to a real doctor instead of a homeopathic one? Almost a decade of medication, thousands of rupees but i never took my meds on time, mom dad never took me to a non homeopathic doctor regularly. Just a one off visit once or twice.

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Things to do instead of feeling sorry for myself:

a list for the next one year while i'm stuck at home

study

study some more or you'll be stuck forever

read novels/non fiction

cycle

listen to music

watch a show

learn to headstand

cartwheel

google more stands and wheels and learn to do them

learn to dance, babe. MOVE THAT BODY!

call a friend

meditate

learn about different philosophies, theories, authors, walks of life, civilisation, dynasties

become disgustingly overeducated

know something about everything

draw, u love drawing, get back to it

DO NOT DOOMSCROLL. Put that insta down. PUT INSTA DOWN.