freedomxfire

[freedomxfire]

Everyone trying to save someone is doing it out of their ego’s savior complex or their trauma wounds from having needed someone to save them when they were a small child. It’s rarely out of a healthy place. Healthy people don’t serve life suckers, and that’s what people who won’t save themselves are.

[freedomxfire]

If you meet a potential significant other and they tell you that their parents are alive but this person doesn’t speak to either of them, RUN as fast as you can in the other direction.

If this person is a man, he will be abusive. It’s likely he’s a narcissist.

If it’s anything else (female or “other,”) this person is filled with more issues than you will ever be able to handle.

They are not healthy.

Even if their parents truly deserve to not be talked to, it is 99% unlikely that this person has any kind of emotional health.

They will hurt you irreparably.

Run.

[freedomxfire]

“You don’t find your worth in someone. You find your worth within yourself and then find someone who’s worthy of you. Remember that.”

— Unknown

[freedomxfire]

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our life.”

— Akshay Dubey

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A post shared by Dr. Leah Katz | Psychologist | Speaker I Media Contributor (@dr.leahkatz)

[freedomxfire]

The truest thing I’ve observed about humanity is that we all want to be free to be as bad as we want to be, but only TOLD that we are good.

The truest thing I’ve seen is that we only want freedom without accountability.

[freedomxfire]

Some of you think your position entitled you to certain privileges, but it does not. You have to pay for privileges. You pay with respect, kindness, consideration, integrity, honesty, and acts of service.

It is WHO you wrestle as a person - not WHERE you are as a person - that earns you privileges.

[freedomxfire]

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.

- Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

[freedomxfire]

Once we start loving ourselves, people no longer seem good to us unless they are actually good for us.

@shawtyimmaparty

[freedomxfire]

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You think attention is love and that’s why you suffer so deeply.

[freedomxfire]

[freedomxfire]

“Not everyone deserves to know the real you. Let them criticize who they think you are.”

— Unknown

[freedomxfire]

Before you confront anyone:

1) No one agrees that they are a bad person (and if they do then they are either just terribly broken and in desperate need of love or emotionally manipulating you.) If you go into a confrontation in which you have already judged the person guilty of a wrong (and are thus confronting them with their guilt), you are essentially declaring them a bad person. No matter how you phrase it, the other person will hear, “You did this, so you are bad.”

No one agrees that they are a bad person. Thus, you will not win or get what you want.

2) If you accuse the other person of doing something wrong, you are behaving self-righteously and thus are also wrong.

All anger and accusations is rooted in self-righteousness. Even when you think you are angry for “just” causes, you are still at root believing that YOU know better about something. It doesn’t matter how many people agree with you. They’re self-righteous too. Because not all 8 billion people on the planet agree with you, so someone has to know better, right?

Thinking you know better is self-righteousness, and it is the source of all division.

Unity is everyone truthfully confessing that they don’t know better - no one does. No one has this thing called life or all of its fucked-up-ness figured out.

3) If you go into an argument/confrontation/discussion expecting apologies and humble confessions of wrongdoing, you’d better be prepared to offer the same, because all relationships and situations are a two way street (or a multi-way intersection.)

If you’re not ready or willing to offer those, you’re self-righteous and you lose (see point two) and you have no right to expect them from anyone else.

4) If you weren’t there, you don’t get to make claims about what happened.

5) If the action wasn’t directed toward you, you don’t get to speak for the person it was directed to. No one can accurately and 100% truthfully or fairly represent someone else’s thoughts and feelings.

6) If the only impact of someone’s actions was that it hurt your feelings or offended you, that’s a personal problem and not the other person’s responsibility. No one can control another person’s feelings, no one can appease 8 billion people so why should they spend their time trying to appease YOU. Refer to point 2 about self-righteousness, and also look up entitlement.

7) The only people who are entitled to anything from anyone is someone who worked their freaking asses off or gave a heck of a lot of financial support or donation or time trying to help. And what they’re entitled to is respect, kindness, and consideration from the people they did it for. So if you didn’t do those for the people you’re confronting, they don’t owe you anything. You’re not entitled to anything. Especially if you go into the conversation like a self-righteous son of a - .

8) You don’t get to judge another person’s actions if you haven’t walked their ENTIRE LIVES in their shoes. Because every single bit of their life informed or led to what they did and you will never know what that includes.

Now, reconsider very carefully if you have any rightful legs to stand on for what you thought you were going to say.

Here’s what you CAN DO:

1) You can talk to someone who you ALREADY have an established and close relationship with or who DOES owe you respect and consideration when they hurt your feelings or offend you or fail to give you what they do rightfully owe you.

2) You can tell people when their actions had a specific and measurable negative impact on your life (bring as many receipts as possible.)

3) You can inform people of your boundaries.

[freedomxfire]

“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.”

— Unknown

[freedomxfire]

I will remove anyone from my life to protect the peace that I've worked so hard for. Nobody took me out of the dark. I did it on my own.

Unknown

[freedomxfire]

The best revenge is none. Move on and heal yourself so you don’t become like the people who traumatized you.