froggy-in-the-sky

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when alec lightwood got fucked by his nearly demonic boyfriend, he got promoted to consul but when i, benedict lightwood

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unbreakable bond~

thank you @soulless-baka :'D✨​

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Tim Drake has a tumblr account that he tells NO ONE about. Even his boyfriends Kon and Barnard, who know he has a tumblr, don’t know his tag. He will occasionally say things like, “oh I saw that on tumblr” or “this one time on tumblr” but that’s it. And it’s always surface level stuff that everyone would see. What could Tim possible be hiding?

Fan fiction. Tim has the best collection of BatFam fan fiction known to man. Yeah he could have switched to Ao3 like everyone else but tumblr is where this feral boy thrives.

Batman x Superman? He’s got it. Reader x Spoiler? Got it. One where Red Robin and Red Hood go on a mission together and save Gotham? He wrote it. He even comments and gives critiques on hot to make everyone more realistic.

His only rule is no smut. 1) that’s family 2) they may all be geniuses but none of them know how to lock doors. They’ve all seen things they with Joker would crowbar out their minds.

Other than that, his collection is fast and tumblr is his play place. No one knows it’s him and that is how it will stay. For this is how he continues to be a lil baby stalker without it being TOO weird. Still weird but tell that to him when it’s after patrol and he’s kicking his feet because Nightwing and Starfire just held hands in the slow burn he’s reading.

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[ Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon ]

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how did a woman manage to date elvira for 19 years and not tell every single person she knows

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pov ur kids just caught u making out with superman

there's this shot in dunmeshi's living armor episode where the party is peeking between slightly open doors into a room, and it pans from tall man laios all the way down to half-foot chilchuck. i thought it'd be fun to do it with the batkids, and then recreate the panning by making u scroll all the way to damian. :')

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… Straight?

Dick Grayson is a respectful slut. He flirts with everyone and has done more than flirting on many occasions. The public sees it as him taking over Brucie Wayne’s playboy personality but he’s just like that. Reporters, teammates, aliens, if he likes you he likes you.

Everyone just assumed he was straight, especially with his current push on Barbra growing up. Then he guys like Roy, and Victor Stone, and Wally West, and… was he flirting with guy too?

Bruce never asked, assuming he’d come out when he was ready. But Dick never came out so he never asked. It isn’t until one pride month when all the Barbies are talking about being gay that Tim finally asks.

“Dick, aren’t you bi too? Or do you consider yourself pan or queer or something?”

Dick looks at him confused. “I’m straight.”

Now everyone’s confused. They all saw the footage of him making out with a cute male reporter last week in a W.E. broom closet. Now he’s saying he’s straight? They all begin interrogating him. Answers must be given.

“Have you kissed a guy?”

“I’ve done more than that.”

“So you like men?”

“If they’re cute, I kiss.”

“How do you feel about women?”

“If they’re cute, I kiss.”

“So bi?”

“No, straight. Ally.”

This continues until they all give up. In reality, Dick doesn’t care enough to think about it and land on a label. Even deciding to go by queer takes too much effort. As the eldest bat kid, leader of his own teams, and protecting Bludhaven he’s far too busy to think about sexuality. He simply boiled it down as straight enough and that’s what he’s sticking with. Even when he does eventually get time, watching his siblings glitch out over it makes him keep the “straight” title just to mess with them.

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Batfam bodyswap but all of them have insane chronic pain in different places.

Jason, in Tim’s body: Yeah, your hands and waist should not feel like this.

Tim, in Dick’s body: Shut up, it's normal. But Dick all of your joints are fucked. What is wrong with you?

Dick, in Damian's body: Nothing. Jesus, Dami, I want to peel my ribs out of my chest.

Damian, in Jason’s body: Todd, I don't think the pit healed you at all...

Duke, in Bruce’s body: ow

Bruce, in Cass' body: I, for one, feel amazing.

Cass, in Duke’s body: I'm going to go OD on Advil. That probably won't be enough for how much my head hurts.

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Happy Pride!

We all know Tim Drake is a cannon bisexual. But we also know that in fannon the only straight person is Alfred and I think Duke but I’m not sure. I just imagine the fist few years after coming out Tim is insufferable. Then Jason can’t take it anymore and ruins his joy.

Bruce: *catching Tim drinking enough coffee to fuel a med student for a semester in one night* that’s it. I’m cutting you off. I’m pretty sure your blood is caffeinated at this point.

Tim: during pride month!? And it was an iced coffee!? This is a hate crime.

Bruce: I-

Jason: Shut UP! JUST BECAUSE ITS JUNE DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE IMMUNE!

Duke: *just watching because not only does he take over February but Juneteenth is coming up and he has plans*

Tim: well I’m the only queer bitch here!

Jason: *crosses arms* says who?

Tim: what?

Bruce: what?

Jason: oh, you thought Roy and I were “just friends”? How closed minded of you. Dare I say, homophobic!

Tim: *gasp*

Dick: you’re dating my best friend!?

Bruce: I have a granddaughter!? *already buying her a pony*

Stephanie: you know me and Cass are dating right?

Tim: since when!?

Damian: *walks in on his phone texting Jon with his gay flag phone case he just got* you’re all so unobservant considering we’re all supposed to be detectives. Even Grayson has a boyfriend.

Tim: who!?

Bruce: *about to pass out at all his kids being in relationships and not telling him*

Dick: no I’m straight. *actively in Wally West’s lap*

Wally: ally!

Someone take my phone

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ok no actually the funniest way Talia should be shamed for having a one night stand with Jason during his league days is if Damian finds out and refuses to stop referring to Jason as ‘step-father’.

Damian: i request more training with step-father to improve my blade wielding abilities.

Jason, looking up and blinking: wait is that me?

Jason:

Jason: cool.

Jason, turning to Talia: i don’t mind training my step-son.

Talia:

Talia: he isn’t your step-son.

Damian: yes i am.

Talia: Damian, no. he can’t be your father. he’s seventeen.

Damian: oh and that’s an issue is it?

Talia:

Damian:

Jason: *grinning in delight at the family drama*

-later, upon Damian’s arrival in Gotham-

Bruce: and these are your brothers,

Damian: ah yes, i am aware of them.

Damian, nodding at the batkids: Grayson, Drake,

Damian, turning to Jason: step-father,

Jason, solemnly: step-son. good to see you again.

Bruce, having a heart attack: imsorryexcusemewhatnow-?

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one time this japanese fujoshi i follow on twitter posted "the bottom should have a bigger dick so that you can watch it bounce while they get fucked and the top should have a smaller dick so that it can go in easier. uke dicks should be big and decorative and seme dicks should be average size and functional" and honestly her mind

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Jason Todd Doesn’t Eat

In my head Jason Todd won’t eat until the people he cares about eat first. He grew up poor with not a lot of food around. Sure when he was doing what he had to for survival he would eat as much as he could. But if there was another kid around? Someone who needed it more than him? He would make them eat first to get their fill then eat what was left. He still does this, especially with Damian. Even though there is now plenty of food to go around, he still wants so make sure the people he cares about have their fill before he’s eats. One day he does this to Bruce and it’s how he knows that no matter how strained things are between them, Jason still loves him.

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What if…?

You know the way that civilians talk about “what if I was a superhero: vigilante? What would my life be like?” I think the heros do the same in reverse.

Imagine Dick and Jason on a rooftop talking about what their lives could have been like. Dick talking about life in a circus and Jason talking about life as a high school English teacher. They imagine getting married, having a kid or two, what car they would have. It’s a light “what if” conversation with an air of sadness around it.

The conversation ends with an alarm ringing, time to get back to work. But it was nice for a moment to pretend.

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This came in my head and it had to go somewhere and my friend is asleep sooo….

Goon 1: yeah I hit last night. It was great

Goon 2: damn dude. How many times you get her off?

Goon 1: who cares!? I had a good time! *laughs in gross male*

Richard “my partner cums 9 times before I do” Grayson: I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON!? *extra loud eskrima sticks sound from the end of the ally*

Later

Dick: people actually think like that!? What the fuck!? I don’t get it!

Harley: *tearing up* I taught you RIGHT!?

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They Are All Bottoms

Nothing in this world can converse me that that Bat-men are anything but bottoms. For the purpose of age I’m only talking about Bruce, Dick, and Jason. If they ever let Tim hit the age of 20 I’ll talk about him too but for now just those 3.

It’s started with Bruce. You think Cat Woman is letting him top her? No. Talia al Ghul!? Absolutely not. Wonder Woman? Any of the cannon women he’s had? Just because he was on top doesn’t mean he was in charge. And even in fandom he’s getting pegged and is bottoming for Superman. As he should.

Then there Richard Grayson. Same thing. You think Starfire, Kory, is the type!? That is an alpha. So is Barbra. And for him and Wally… you think he’d miss the opportunity?

Last, Jason. His main cannon interest that I can see is Artemis. The Amazon. Also not happening. And Roy knows what his boyfriend needs, to not be in control for a second.

In conclusion: Bruce somehow handed down being a bottom to his adopted kids. That is all.

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"but physical media is worse quality and will break with time" I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO OWN THINGS I LIKE! I WANT SHELVES FULL OF DVDS, CDS, AND A LIBRARY!

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A slightly risque bit of cover art from AD Police Files