fs-lewisartistry

[fs-lewisartistry]

GRIM REAPER

I used to be a deviant -

But, now I’ve grown too old

- lost too much hope - broke.

Death has shown its cards

And has hold of my heart.

The world beyond has lost its thrill

- I see the flame and feel the chill.

Panic courses through my veins now -

The flow of humanity shed its shroud.

I see the man behind the mirror,

Who stole my innocence - died a martyr.

Changed my life - but I’ll just die marred.

- FSL 11/12/24

[fs-lewisartistry]

So cold -

Shivering -

Hands turning blue.

Oh, sweet death,

I’ve come for you.

-FS Lewis 10/15/24

[fs-lewisartistry]

A panic attack

Is not a heart attack

It is not a stroke

But the body lays paralyzed

Tears leak from your eyes

Your brain is screaming

I’m dying I’m dying

My children I know I’ll never see them again

The pain in your chest

So unprovoked

Is the weight of life so heavy?

-FS Lewis 10/15/24

[fs-lewisartistry]

Excuse me, but I married my best friend yesterday. 😭🥹❤️

[fs-lewisartistry]

So sweet you smell so sweet

Yet I drown in venom at your feet

[fs-lewisartistry]

Got a little wood burning in today 💪🏻

[fs-lewisartistry]

Entomology

And I am -

Just a moth you’ve crushed under your feet.

A moth,

who once flew too close to those lights on your street.

A moth,

Ripped in half, my wings weathered and cracked.

A moth,

Coveting the butterfly, but their striking colors, I lacked.

And it seems,

A stranger has come and plucked me off the ground.

In a frame, on their wall, is where I can be found.

-FS Lewis 7/11/24

[fs-lewisartistry]

SENESCENCE

To say that time flies is a frivolous thing,

It is darker than it seems and hastens with age.

Like droplets of rain, so light ‘til it pours,

It flees from my grasp on its own chosen course.

With less than a blink from my gray, tired eyes -

My children are growing and the world just shrugs,

“Time flies.”

-FS Lewis

10 June 2024

[fs-lewisartistry]

Here in the throes of ecstasy and grief,

I hold the child I’ve been harboring,

And shed tears, begging for relief.

Postpartum blues and colic shrieks,

The parts of parenting we mustn’t speak.

Glued down, tired, dying of thirst -

When the sink is so close,

Ah, yes, this feels just like a curse.

-FS Lewis 11/29/23

So! At the end of October I had my handsome, rainbow baby. We are so happy to have him, but the past 5 weeks have been so stressful and tiring. Just keeping in mind brighter days are coming!

[fs-lewisartistry]

The Folly of Fall

The leaves are changing

And my child grows,

The cold is now settling

And nips at my toes.

Another day’s passing,

This year’s almost gone.

My patience is thinning,

This life takes too long.

-FS Lewis 9/6/23

[fs-lewisartistry]

Why are all the bot followers back? 😭

[fs-lewisartistry]

Who’s Who

I know I am more than a mother - or lover -

More than just a homemaker, here waiting to cater -

More than the number that punches the clock -

More than you asked for and it comes as no shock.

I am a louse, running wild through the hairs of your head,

The wet spot you cover as you lay down for bed.

A snake in the cupboard - hiding inside the pots,

A flesh-eating cancer - who’s brought you to rot.

I am a dream trapped inside bone and flesh -

This reality is trite and my fantasies never rest.

I am a settler and it’s starting to show -

How much I abhor it -

How bitterness grows.

-FS Lewis 8/1/23

[fs-lewisartistry]

Hard to believe air so sweet,

Could come from a mouth so bitter.

7/20/23

[fs-lewisartistry]

If Only, If Only

Were you worthwhile like the hot, summer rain,

I would rush to your arms just to relive the pain.

Were I a woman born of courage- not doubt,

I would rip you apart from the inside - out.

-FS Lewis 7/19/23

[fs-lewisartistry]

This body passes by so monotonously,

Yet, this heart still skips abominably.

7/11/23

-FS Lewis

[fs-lewisartistry]

Had you a grave,

I’d meet you o’er top.

And slip my fingers through the dirt,

To feel how you rot.

7/5/23

-FS Lewis

[fs-lewisartistry]

Finally picked up a paintbrush today for the first time in months 🥹