ginger-vitis11

[ginger-vitis11]

we should have MORE disruptive protests we should be burning flags we should be destroying government buildings

No matter how peaceful they are the media will still call them violent

might as well get some actual shit done.

[ginger-vitis11]

I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

[ginger-vitis11]

i wanna rise up

i wanna get violent

fuck your optics

i wanna throw their tear gas

right back at those pigs in riot gear

like my queer ancestors

throwing pennies and bricks

like Palestinian children

throwing rocks at israeli tanks

i wanna fuck shit up

i wanna light it up

breathe in the smoke of a colonial system

and breathe out global liberation

for all peoples

i want more dead billionaires

and executives

and ceo’s

and politicians

i want a free Palestine

Haiti

Congo

Hawai’i

Ireland

no more borders

no more walls

death to ice

i want a revolution

because this is not a world worth living in

but i have seen one worth dying for

no more rainbow capitalism

no more gay parades

i want more faggot riots

no more standing on street corners

no more waving witty signs

no more calling our representatives

where is your anger?

they should be more afraid of us

let’s make them afraid of us

-anarchy

[ginger-vitis11]

you painted me with your darkest blue

but your brush was double sided

now our misery is in matching shades

-paint brush

[ginger-vitis11]

i hate the way that

“i’m sorry”

always struggles to pass my lips

and it disgusts me

when i get defensive

instead of apologetic

because when i look into the mirror i know

i’ll see my mother’s face staring back at me

-apologies

[ginger-vitis11]

i’d beg god

to allow me to take your place in hell

if our nights together

prevented you

from crossing through heaven’s gates

-sacrificial sins

[ginger-vitis11]

summer still smells like

sunscreen and chlorine

pizza by your parents’ pool

do you still hold these memories too?

-summertime

[ginger-vitis11]

have i spent all these years

changing my appearance

to recognize my reflection

or to distance myself

from the person you hurt?

-unspoken thoughts

[ginger-vitis11]

my existence is not for you to understand.

my existence is not for you to validate.

my existence is not something you can

legislate away.

my identity is in every fiber of my being

that is not something you can take away

from me

until my hot, red, transgender blood

stains the ground we walk on

until my queer bones return to the earth

and even then

you could never kill my faggot spirit

-death before detransition

[ginger-vitis11]

we’ll have a special place in hell

a small room with only

you

and

i

yet it remains unsure

who is the damned

and who is the punishment

-the inferno

[ginger-vitis11]

sometimes i fear

my dad has aged out of his anger

and passed it to me

like a family heirloom

-a father’s rage

[ginger-vitis11]

sitting on the living room couch

making dinner in the kitchen

wrapped up in bed

still,

i long to go home

-home

[ginger-vitis11]

nothing between us but bedsheets

and the shroud of darkness

you touch me but won’t kiss my lips

that’s far too intimate

with no one else around,

you’re not so afraid to admit

our bodies fit together perfectly

as if they were once whole

but broken apart

and we will reunite them

again and again

but you won’t kiss my lips

that’s far too intimate

-too intimate intimacy

[ginger-vitis11]

do you know the feeling

of when you use hand sanitizer

and discover cuts you didn’t know you had?

my healing process has kinda been like that

i heard your name

and felt the pain

of a wound that i didn’t know existed

-paper cuts

[ginger-vitis11]

i live in fear of my own emotions

of bottling them up until they explode

like my father

or by being controlled by them

like my mother

never allowing myself to feel them

like my sister

or interpreting them all as anger

like my brothers

-a family and their feelings

[ginger-vitis11]

i’m 14 years old

in your bedroom

with the door closed

and the lights out

your mom is asleep

down the hall

i’m 14 years old

and im scared

scared of your touch

scared that i crave it

but the lights are out

under the blanket of darkness

you’re allowed to hold me

and i’m allowed to like it

you’re allowed to touch me

and im allowed to crave it

but soon the sun will rise

and we won’t speak of it

on sunday in church pews

we’ll pray for forgiveness

and after the service

you’ll invite me again

to come over next week

-sleepover

[ginger-vitis11]

you once lived inside of my heart

but now the bed remains untouched

and the lampshade collects dust

you’re no longer invited

you no longer wish to be

but at the end of every day

i’ll leave the light on

‘fore you may no longer reside there

but the love we once shared still does

-an empty guest room