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okay they’re eepy that’s fine. honestly i would rather if they just took a nap i could use my computer then at least

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”your friends don’t secretly hate you” people when the real quiet resentment bitches come along. in my defence i hate conflict and i’m literally nice. this is about irl people no one here in my defence yet again i feel like my boundaries are a little crushed right now

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”i’m content watching this at the minute” wow i’m so glad. i know you aren’t even considering me because other people never cross your mind <3 which is why you have two friends me as one of them

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like at this rate i might start reading the book i’ve been putting off. like i feel really rude and impolite and a bad host? because we’re literally not talking but i think they’re fine and are just too autistic to notice how uncomfortable i am. the problem is i don’t have suggestions of things i want to do instead? like they suggested watching a movie and i don’t want to do that so. like fuck i guess this is fine. they’re taking up the entire sofa and i’m just kinda squished on the edge and want to them leave and like sanitise eveything because they were literally sick like a week ago. long post because i have literally nothing to do!!

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how to politely ask someone to get out of my fucking house

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if you’re just going to take my computer to watch shit the same way you would at home and not even talk to me can you like. do that at home on your own computer like i have fucking art fight refs to make

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god i hope it rains tomorrow (weather for the foreseeable future is really sunny) fuuuuuuuck

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remember when my sole reason for moving was apparently going to therapy and then i decided i'm fine and i don't need that (because it costs money and it's scary) haha yeah fun times. glad for the bedrot scenery change though

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they should make a prize for wasting your potential so that i can lose at that as well by being middling

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ough baby it's been a week. do i externalise the blame for it yes or no (i know that really it has been a mix of outside factors but also me being aimless and unmotivated and miserable and not burnt out because i can't be because i've never done anything worthy of that in my life so i'm just a bit of a loser with it all)

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this is genuine for some reason sometimes it is fun to be the only not upset one in a situation and to get to try and help. idk what that means for me but yeah. enrichment

love when people are upset and i get to solve communication puzzle

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love when people are upset and i get to solve communication puzzle

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i think i realised nothing matters in middle school and it's just been a struggle to get anything unenjoyable done since then. it's only a matter of time before that comes and takes me in the end

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here's the real puzzle though: am i sad because i'm sleep deprived or am i always sad deep down because i'm purposeless and lonely and when i'm sleep deprived i can't repress it? or are emotions fake and it's subjective to sa y it's jrtuly either way

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wish i was perfectly curated inside out. wish i knew how to keep in contact and be friends with people without bashing my head against a wall about it

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out of all my blogs this one still is winning in terms of post count. never beating the misery allegations, never beating the fear of vulnerability and perfectionism in all i say online other than here meaning i don't finish posts for other places allegations either

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if i have to stay up until 2:30 again i'm doing something drastic. sure that's not too late for YOU but just because YOUR sleep schedule is fucked doesn't mean i want mine to be

staying up late with people when you do not want to can make you reaaaaally resent them which explains a lot about the entirety of last year