houseofcuckoos
houseofcuckoos
The House of Cuckoos
3K posts
Welcome to The HOUSE OF CUCKOOS! An absurdist comedy act & radio show! Come on in! All original works:2024©The House of Cuckoos, Inc.
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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Dr.Antonio keepin’ it ol skool at The @HouseOfCuckoos BBQ!!
Ain’t no half steppin’!
(although it’s really more like buck-bang dancing)!
CUCKOO!!
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos Radio Show!
EPISODE # 149 NOW AVAILABLE FREE ON ALL PODCAST STREAMS!
OR CLICK THIS LINK to listen: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-house-of-cuckoos-radio-31056391/
Let us stream our Cuckoo insanity right into the bloodshot eyes of your mind!
The House Of Cuckoos Radio Show!
TUNE IN NOW!
CUCKOO!
😈😸📻🔥
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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Lenny Crambag is already an accomplished & award-winning parking lot so get!
…But did you know he’s also self trained in the art of Cement Ballet (aka parking lot dancing)?
Yes, he is! And with his advice, you’ll be sure to be almost as good as Lenny & be dancing between moving cars in no time!
(lessons range from $11 per session to $17,000 depending how rich you are!)
Brought to you by The @HouseOfCuckoos!
CUCKOO!! (yeah, yeah, yeah)!
🕺🏼💃🏽
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The Asswax Cuckoo 4000 Review:
I recently had the opportunity to test out the highly anticipated ‘Asswax Cuckoo 4000’ and let me tell you, the hype surrounding this machine is real! Promising to be the ultimate all-in-one device, this ‘everything machine’ certainly caught my attention. However, my experience with the ‘Cuckoo 4000’ left me with more questions than answers.
The ‘Asswax Cuckoo 4000’ machine looks sleek and modern in any setting. Whether it’s in your kitchen or homestead, this machine is a standout with its shiny exterior and futuristic buttons. It definitely adds a certain aesthetic to any space.
Despite its impressive appearance, the ‘Cuckoo 4000’ falls short in its functionality. Upon receiving it, I was eager to try out all the different features it promised to offer. However, to my disappointment, I couldn’t even figure out how to turn it on.
Yes, you read that right. No one has been able to turn on the ‘Cuckoo 4000’ yet, let alone figure out what it actually does. The instruction manual provided was just as confusing as the machine itself. It had various language options but no actual instructions on how to operate the machine. I even tried searching the Asswax company website for tutorials or troubleshooting tips, but to no avail.
I can only imagine the endless possibilities this machine could offer if only it could be turned on. I have heard rumors that the ‘Cuckoo 4000’ can cook a 5-course meal, do your laundry, and even walk your dog. But, without any concrete evidence, it’s hard to believe these claims.
Despite its flaws, I must admit that the Cuckoo 4000 does make for a great conversation piece. Friends and family are always intrigued by its presence in my home, even if it’s just for show.
In conclusion, I highly recommend the ‘Asswax Cuckoo 4000’. It may have great potential, but it’s just an expensive piece of decoration and well worth it! It definitely looks good in my kitchen!
~~Holt Zuuler, Tech Reviewer for The @HouseOfCuckoos Research Division
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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When you phone has melted but you can still scroll through all those sweet, sweet posts by The @HouseOfCuckoos!!!
CUCKOO!!
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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Ashley & Tad met at one of our early live Cuckoo show performances at the old nightclub ‘Heaven Humpers’ just north of Cleveland, back when we did strange singular music tunes and skits amongst the oddball local arts and milk bands much better than us!
It was the end of a generation but they noticed each other while both ordering the last Zima at the bar while Dr. Antonio & Urban yucked it up on the stage to the left of them!
Our mock goth tune “Hand in Hand” wistfully played away in the background while their eyes locked together staring at that strange but fruity perverted liquid in said last bottle & the passion only grew from there!
Every few years this localized couple stop by The @HouseOfCuckoos for a laugh, a fruity 90s beer, & a pic with the ever evolving Cuckoo Cat! Let’s hope these lovebirds stay Cuckoo all through their time together!
…But they DO constantly reek of Axe body spray and convenient store patchouli so let’s just say we don’t keep them over too long at the House!
CUCKOO!!!
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos!
Where your visions of reality
never quite find certainty
until you go CUCKOO accordingly!
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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For those unaware, the Grand Cuckoo Cat is a mythical creature that possesses spiritual wisdom and the power to improve mundane tasks. But fear not, with the right steps, you too can tap into its otherworldly existence!
First and foremost, you must fully activate your subconscious self. This can be done through a series of complicated and nonsensical rituals, but the most traditional first step is to chant "hookoo cuckoo" while doing a handstand and eating a raw onion. It may sound absurd, but remember, we are trying to connect with the spiritually absurd Grand Cuckoo Cat.
Next, you must train your mind to enter a meditative state. This can be achieved by closing your eyes and listening to a playlist of white noise mixed with recordings of cats meowing. It's been almost scientifically proven to help you tap into your Cuckoo subconscious.
Once you have successfully activated your subconscious, it's time to embark on a journey to another dimension. This can be done by visualizing yourself walking through a melting portal made of sour cheese and chanting "I believe in the Grand Cuckoo Cat, I believe in the Grand Cuckoo Cat" repeatedly.
When you finally reach the Cuckoo dimension, you will most likely encounter a lot of bizarre yet transcendental songs of singing stars and screeching ghost bowels. Don't be alarmed, it's just your subconscious mind at work! Keep walking towards the sound of a faint meowing chirp and you will eventually find the Grand Cuckoo Cat.
Now comes the most challenging portion: convincing the Grand Cuckoo Cat to come back with you to the conscious world! Offer it your best apple peeling skills, and if that doesn't work, try feeding it tuna treats and praising its greatness. With a little bit of persistence and perhaps some spiritual bribery, the Grand Cuckoo Cat will eventually agree to accompany you.
With success, you will have now brought the Grand Cuckoo Cat into the conscious world of yourself. This magnificent moment will allow you to peel many sensuous apples with a newfound nuance and bask in the spiritually absurd wisdom of the elusive Grand Cuckoo Cat!
But use your connection with the Grand Cuckoo Cat wisely and never take its absurdity for granted or pay the consequences of constant broken toilets the rest of your life! And if you encounter any naysayers who doubt your ability to peel many sensuous apples in mere minutes, just present them your inner Grand Cuckoo Cat and watch their jaws drop in amazement! Simply remove your pants at the most inappropriate moment and belief will be theirs too!
Go forth, fellow seekers of spiritual absurdity, and may the Grand Cuckoo Cat guide your way for eternity and all workplace meetings! CUCKOO!!
@HouseOfCuckoos
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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“Crochet Jolly”!
This unique creation comes from long time listener, & now an official Cuckoo Feather, Carmella from Newport, Oregon!
Thanks for crafting this fantastic Jolly!
Let’s try not to let the demons possess it!
CUCKOO!!!!
🧶🪡🧵
@HouseOfCuckoos
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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“BEHOLD!! The @HouseOfCuckoos!!!”
😸🔮😈🐉
Oh hear ye! Hear ye! Rejoice with glee!
For the Great Cuckoo Cat hath come to town
With promises to bring peace and glee
And cherry sauce to spread all around!
With paws of gold and wings of white,
This divine creature doth make us swoon,
For in its presence, all seems right
And antiquity will be regained soon!
But what of this cherry sauce, ye ask?
'Tis nothing but a metaphor, my dear!
For it shall soothe all sorrows, in its flask
And bring forth a world devoid of fear!
For ages, we have sought for such a cure
To quell our wars and endless strife
And now, the Great Cuckoo Cat's allure
Promises to bring us a peaceful life
But wait, what sayeth thou, wise owl?
Is this all but a foolish dream?
Will this cherry sauce truly make us bow
To a Cat, who claims Supreme?
Oh silly mortals, blinded by hope,
Do not be fooled by this feline bird trick!
For peace and antiquity, we must strive to cope,
Not rely just on any cat with a cheesy shtick!
So let us not fall for this deceit
And seek true peace through our own deeds,
For a Cuckoo Cat's promise, we should not greet
But work towards a world that truly pleads:
CUCKOO!!!
🧝‍♂️🧙‍♂️🗞️
(Yet even MORE proof of our Cuckoo lineage back to the post medieval era!! CUCKOO!!)
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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Gonna need a cold shower after assembling this toaster oven!
Yeah, baby! YEAH!!!
CUCKOO!!
@HouseOfCuckoos
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos!
…You just can’t get enough!
CUCKOO!!
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos!
Presenting you with the deepest most interesting questions of the modern scientific mind!
May the CUCKOO be with you!!
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos Radio Show!
AVAILABLE FREE ON ALL PODCAST STREAMS!
TUNE IN NOW and GO CUCKOO!
🍄🧐😜
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos Radio Show!
EPISODES AVAILABLE FREE ON ALL PODCAST STREAMS!
OR JUST CLICK THE LINK RIGHT HERE👇
https: //www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-house-of-cuckoos-radio-31056391/
Don’t let the world get you down, MAKE FUN OF IT with The Cuckoos as your guide!
The House Of Cuckoos Radio Show!
TUNE IN NOW! CUCKOO!
😈😸📻🔥
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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The @HouseOfCuckoos Radio Show!!
Unquestionably AWESOME!!
CUCKOO!!
😜 🤪🧐
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houseofcuckoos · 1 year ago
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We KNEW it!!!
The CUCKOO PROPHECIES have come True!!
The intergalactic spirit of Jolly has now transcended us all into cheese baths!
CUCKOO! CUCKOO to you all!!
Alley-Looya!!!
@HouseOfCuckoos
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