howolivery

[howolivery]

Being caught outside in a thunderstorm hadn’t been Oliver’s plan that day, but it ended up happening anyways. On his way to the park, the dark clouds that arrived seemingly out of nowhere chased him all the way there and kept him stranded under the lone pavilion that provided better shade than shelter on a good day. Fortunately, he wasn’t left entirely soaked and the rain hadn’t ruined that much of the surrounding area where he couldn’t still enjoy what little the park hard to offer. So far, he noted, that was mostly just nature and the silence that came with being alone. It didn’t take long for that to be ruined, however, as soon as parents, babysitters, and nannies alike showed up with their respective children by the barrel. Still, Oliver wasn’t bothered for the most part until the ice cream truck decided to make it’s presence known, signalling his opportunity to head back home before he got sucked into a conversation with someone. As luck would have it, he only managed to make it a few steps before he bumped into someone asking for money. He just thought he’d make it to his block before that.

Oliver stared down at the woman who was probably not homeless and dug in his pockets for anything he could do to help. He didn’t carry cash around often but as luck would have it, he had a few bills shoved into his wallet and fished those out. “Not enough to break it, but it’s just a couple of dollars. Keep it.” He handed her the cash and put his hands back in his pockets, feeling slightly awkward. The money was out of his hands and he had no obligation to hang out, but it felt weird throwing money at someone and running away. Clearing his throat, he tried to appear somewhat friendly and smiled. “Swell day we’re having, isn’t it?”

It had been a rather shit day today, practically thunder storming while Willa had been working an Auggie was in school. So when the skies parted just an hour after the school day had let out, the young mother had to take her son to the park. It was a warm day, with the sun still high in the sky, but the previous storm had left a nice breeze in the air that made it practically perfect to play outside in. So once Auggie had finished his school work, Willa agreed to spend an hour or so outside, watching him run around on one of the first, nice spring nights the town had seen. Hearing the faint, yet knowing jingle of the impending ice cream truck, the brunette saw numerous children perk up in excitement. Sighing, she looked through her purse for a few dollars and only found a twenty. Turning to the person next to her, she gave them a soft smile. “Can you break a twenty? They always get mad when I try to pay for a dollar spongebob popsicle with anything larger than a five.”

[howolivery]

Something worthwhile in Shermer? That’s a bold statement there, dontcha think?

Drop by Beetlejuice tonight if you’re looking for something worthwhile to do in this humdrum of a town. In fact, bring a friend or two – it is a two-drink minimum, but the entertainment will be well worth it, if I do say so myself. 

[howolivery]

With his last class of the day finally over with, Oliver gathered his things and headed towards his favorite spot with his journal tucked tightly under his arm. For the little work he’d done that day, it was surprising how much he had to write for his diary entry. His pen’s prey of choice, however, didn’t stray towards any of his peers despite the strong pull of his ink; but instead a teacher. It was rare he had any complaints about the college professors and if he did have one, it’d be about how they did too good of a job of hiding their smiles when he really stuck it to one of his peers. Yet, here he was sitting at a rundown table with his blood still boiling. How dare that glorified substitute mark him down a letter for simply replying to a question. Was it the best idea to mention how Kelsi with an I was cheating on Brad with the entire lacrosse team? Maybe, maybe not, but that didn’t mean Oliver was wrong or that he deserved to be punished because he was defending himself. Taking a break from his venting, he pulled a cigarette from the pocket inside his jacket and lit it, placing the stick to his lips. After a few drags, he decided to eighty-six the entry and pull out a different book instead. He’d need all the studying he could get now to pass the class.

“I hate this place and everyone in it.”

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 Alever

Alec: Not very what?

Alec: Don’t you have to be a dad to do lame dad jokes?

Oliver: Get with the times, Al. It's a saying.

Oliver: I've been called Daddy before. 😉

[howolivery]

blvemonday‌:

You say that now, but weren’t you all rainbows-and-unicorns with Little Miss Pretty Pink Princess back in high school? I doubt there was anything in that beautiful head of hers other than knowing exactly which way was the closest mall. My, how times change you. I’m glad to see you’ve gotten some sense since then. If only we could say the same for everyone else. You know, I’ve been compared to worser things, so I’ll take it.

Perhaps I was. Perhaps I let myself believe certain things about a certain person. I stand by the fact that love makes us do crazy things and time, even crazier. But enough about my past. What about yours? These “worser” things that thou hath been compared to?

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 Alever

Alec: I’m not breaking any laws. I’m a good law abiding citizen.

Alec: Good point, we definitely do not want that to happen again. Carry on. Again, just nothing that’ll put you in jail

Oliver: How not very.

Oliver: I'll get fined.

Oliver: If they fined out.

Oliver: I'm sorry.

[howolivery]

justabcsketcase‌:

You haven’t met very many people then. 

Make it twizzlers and you’ve got yourself a deal. 

On the contrary, I’ve met quite enough.

Twizzlers it is.

[howolivery]

blvemonday‌:

The customer can kindly kiss my ass, but then, she should only be so lucky. I’d sooner appreciate the way I’d look with a knife in my back than to appreciate any ol’ middle-aged Sharon with a Kate Gosselin-inspired ‘do, but if that’s what gets you going, who am I but someone to judge you until the day you drop, Oliver? Human decency is just a cruel bitch of a joke, but the sliver of optimism is cute. 

Color me embarrassed. I have to admit, I’m the kind of guy that enjoys the occasional ball busting only Sharons can provide. However, my tastes lie in intelligence over looks. Go figure. You sound like J.D., by the way. Kinda freaky.

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 Alever

Alec: Sorry that I have a thing against murder. Maybe that moral code means I shouldn't be a lawyer but eh, maybe I'll lose it one day.

Alec: Because sometimes you just gotta take the high rode and do one nice thing for someone even if they're a total dick.

Oliver: A lawyer breaking the law. Care to give me an exclusive before you get put in the bighouse?

Oliver: Taking the high road always leads me to a cliff. And we all know how bad things get when I jump head first.

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 OLIVER

Jaxx: Oh god, you really do have a death wish dontcha? Don't write that.

Jaxx: ...Cause it's my place? Dork.

Jaxx: So when can I expect you on my step? And you best pay your half of the rent for while your here cause as Pretty as you are, I'm not being a sugar daddy

Oliver: What? There's no such thing as bad press, honey. A little controversy could put my name on the map. Death be damned.

Oliver: Fair enough.

Oliver: No worries, babe, I'm loaded. But don't tell anybody. Ruins my 'woe is me' look, yknow?

Oliver: How long do you need to prepare for my arrival?

[howolivery]

Aw, come on, Jesse. The customer is always right. Don’t you think she really needed that discount on her soap to pay for the years of plastic surgery she went through? God, you really need to be a little bit more appreciative to the middle-aged white Sharons of the world. Without them, how would we appreciate the rarity of human decency? Shame. On. You.

Another former teen beauty queen lost her shit in the middle of my store because her stupid expired coupon wouldn’t work, and honestly, nothing gives me more of a rush than to say no to an overprivileged white woman with too much time in her trivial existence. We’re all going to die one day, Sharon – who gives two fucks about some overpriced soaps?

[howolivery]

justabcsketcase‌:

No, but then again I rarely really think.

Oh yeah, totally. I’ve got a sticker book filled with them under my pillow. Pull it out once and a while just to remind myself how truly special I am.

And yet you’re probably one of the most profound people I’ve ever met.

That’s...sweet. But you know, people usually use other people to feel special these days. If you ever wanted to get with the times, I’m free for red vines and poetic ramblings.

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 Alever

Alec: Nah. Don’t die.

Alec: That’s fine, just don’t out them if any of them say they’re gay. That’s crossing a line. If not then go for it, release them to everyone.

Oliver: You're no fun.

Oliver: Get with the times, Alec. There's no time to be a decent person in the middle of a war.

Oliver: People sure don't follow the MO in this town so why should I?

[howolivery]

Which is exactly why I don’t regret going the route of investigation. With my skills, I could actually be one of your honorable mentions in that article when I write an expose a furry and they come after me for revenge. Scientifically speaking, what are the effects of a good cat meme?

I’m just so glad that I dedicated four years of my life to studying journalism and going into debt just to be assigned an article about the “scientific effects of cat memes”. Dad, I hope you’re proud of your little girl. 

[howolivery]

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 Alever

Alec: You failed. And just a little, poetry was never a strong suit of mine.

Alec: Thank god. What do you have in mind?

Oliver: Any more words of encouragement in your poetry-less arsenal?

Oliver: Something classic. I was thinking...posting his emails all over campus.

[howolivery]

TEXT⇨📧 Alever

Alec: That was way too formal, wtf. Just find a place that you’ll be safe in? No dying.

Alec: Prison is not and I’m not a lawyer yet therefore cannot save your ass if you murder someone.

Oliver: I was going for poetic. Something with feeling? Don't tell me that's something you lack along with your dear old sis.

Oliver: Shit, Alec, I'm not going to kill him. Unless you can die from embarrassment.