#shermer.starter

[justabcsketcase]

Chicken’s one of those things we eat before it’s born... and after it’s dead. Food for thought.

[tempestuousheinousbitch]

I’m just so glad that I dedicated four years of my life to studying journalism and going into debt just to be assigned an article about the “scientific effects of cat memes”. Dad, I hope you’re proud of your little girl. 

[dcngereuse]

WHAT’S A GIRL GOT TO DO to get a decent cup of coffee around here ? god, i can already hear the catty responses and see the eyerolls headed my way, but guess what ? i can’t be drinking irish, so for the love of literally fucking anything, someone please get me something kenyan. putain, i need a pick-me-up from this goddamn nightmare.

[hisdayoff-blog]

You hear that, my little town chickens? That’s the sweet, sweet sound of town mediorcrity! And I’m not liking it. It’s not music to my ears. What about a little noise, fellas? Where’s the heat? The passion? It’s like everyone’s losing their touch. Let’s get to rustling up come ideas, huh? Hit me with your best shot. How’s about it? I dare ya. 

[blvemonday]

Another former teen beauty queen lost her shit in the middle of my store because her stupid expired coupon wouldn’t work, and honestly, nothing gives me more of a rush than to say no to an overprivileged white woman with too much time in her trivial existence. We’re all going to die one day, Sharon -- who gives two fucks about some overpriced soaps?

[hellyeahspiritfingers]

Can you believe I got talked to by someone’s parent for my totally awesome teaching? I mean in what universe do you think anyone’s going to get over their fear of a vault with “words of encouragement?” I don’t think so. Get your ass in line and take a gut full of table. Same goes with the uneven bars. If you can’t handle the fact that gravity works, maybe try growing some balls, yeah?

[theslvtandthefalcon]

Drop by Beetlejuice tonight if you’re looking for something worthwhile to do in this humdrum of a town. In fact, bring a friend or two -- it is a two-drink minimum, but the entertainment will be well worth it, if I do say so myself. 

[whatamegabitch-blog]

Apparently there’s an attendance limit for the gym at work and the one down the street got closed down because of stupid rats--but, like, how did they even get there in the first place? Are rats normally attracted to dead people? Oh, by the way, someone got murdered behind it. Total bummer. But like, just call an exterminator or something, right?

Anyway, I have a lot of free time if anyone wants to hang out.

[lovepowered]

Think I should put a sock on the door to the music room so random people stop walking in on my bands practice sessions? You’d think the load rock music would be enough, right? Guess not. Maybe if I put a sock on it, they’ll think we’re screwing. Bet they wouldn’t want to talk in on that. 

[kissedmeinthecar]

Well nothing makes one’s night like getting no tip and a stern lecture because the boys in the kitchen decided to prank you by arranging the pepperonis on the pizza you were delivering to a Christian youth group into the shape of a penis. We’re off to a really good start. 

[howolivery]

With his last class of the day finally over with, Oliver gathered his things and headed towards his favorite spot with his journal tucked tightly under his arm. For the little work he’d done that day, it was surprising how much he had to write for his diary entry. His pen’s prey of choice, however, didn’t stray towards any of his peers despite the strong pull of his ink; but instead a teacher. It was rare he had any complaints about the college professors and if he did have one, it’d be about how they did too good of a job of hiding their smiles when he really stuck it to one of his peers. Yet, here he was sitting at a rundown table with his blood still boiling. How dare that glorified substitute mark him down a letter for simply replying to a question. Was it the best idea to mention how Kelsi with an I was cheating on Brad with the entire lacrosse team? Maybe, maybe not, but that didn’t mean Oliver was wrong or that he deserved to be punished because he was defending himself. Taking a break from his venting, he pulled a cigarette from the pocket inside his jacket and lit it, placing the stick to his lips. After a few drags, he decided to eighty-six the entry and pull out a different book instead. He’d need all the studying he could get now to pass the class.

“I hate this place and everyone in it.”

[dcngereuse]

OKAY, SO I NEED YOUR ADVICE — there’s a boy in my music class who, ever since i started working there, has been really — fudge, what’s the word — diligent !  yeah, he’s been really diligent with his schoolwork, like he’s always the first one in and the last to leave. anyway, so he came to me for advice because a ton of girls in school like him, but he likes this other girl who’s apparently out of his league. he says he plans to take her out to dinner and sing her a song he wrote. he wouldn’t let me hear it yet which i thought was totally uncool but whatever. plus i think he has a cute little horror movie date planned because he kept mentioning to me that he just turned eighteen and his parents are gonna be out of town. anyway, i think it’s really sweet. i should tell him to go for it, right ?