ickycreaturesqueeks

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Hate feeling needy, gonna bury myself in my pillows go wehhh~ kick my feet and cry about it<<<it helps

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Thinking about authenticity and that oftentimes to become that, you have to become like- shocking- more honest with yourself, and that sucks, and i thinks its on the frustration of like, feeling immense shame about having feelings and needs and being a person, and to change that, i have to be honest about what i desire even if it does not fall in line with logic or rationality, The enormity of my desire could burn an eternal ember in my heart, smoldering in the back if my throat at the disconnect in my desire and action. Like i have to admit i have wants? Ew! The warning sirens alight my nervous system and i begin the new dance of listening to myself even if i do not like the answer. I often do not like the answer, i think its also frustrating that i thought being honest with myself would be easier than it is sometimes.

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

I could chip a tooth trying to talk to myself

My molars crawl the gum line as i worry my weary head and push my canines on the tip of my tongue testing the force of flesh

Certified internal chatterbox hence the jaws state of tension, to keep the flow staunched: grind deflect and fumigate

Take a positive interaction and masticate with self doubt, hid it, let it fester, cry about the cavity and keep administering fillings without ever learning to floss

Emotional hygiene, my past bulimia was an attempt to expel that which i could not fit within me because i did not know how to open my mouth to speak

Esophagus encases the sounds that the tongue freezes and teeth clench in- let me say it fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck uuuu,

Losing all four wisdom teeth it never was an issue of talking to me,it was an issue of getting u to listen

I am wiser with empty sockets, best not to be burdened with “knowledge” that treats ceramic as enamel

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Freeze and fall away i am cold and unyeilding, crack my fingers and break their grip,

change the course thats been set and remove yourself from the path of your grave,

it is not too late though i am waiting,

it is not too late though i told myself,

It is not too late though i cant move

Its not too late

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Its always a bummer when ur anxious for so long a depression episode happens, one cannot maintain the disposition of a startled kettle internally for weeks without repercussion, i feel like i need to have a tantrum but i am frozen between my emotional self and physcial. I oftentimes feel so frozen in myself like a splatter of concrete, unbudging and frozen to the ground, unable to be scraped up or painted over stuckstcukstuckstuckstuck

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Saw the line-

that worrying is like worshipping the problem-

and I feel different now

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Being fisted a few days ago and my cunt walls are like feeling all aching and empty and has a constant heartbeat. Feeling fucked outtttt and also since it was a fast(and hard🥴) stretch everytime i think of something hot/or the liquid i drink moves though my body and i have to clench down so fast so i don’t piddle a bit,, mfing wet and leaky and cant even get fucked about it cuz hole is on bedrest so i can only jerk it and feel my sore muscles clamp down on nothing 😤😫

(He/it)

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Thinkin cnc kidnapped things:

chained to a bed and gagged, moved around like a corned animal, either approached with soothing saccharine for weeks of long mind breaking and rewiring, conditioned to a little lap dog because i need to eat n u control all my resources

Oorr

feinting sweetness and waiting, maybe pulling the chains tighter, showing me what u could do if u wanted to, but u wont touch me till im begging for it, and maybe im hopeful i can outlast the mindgames—->>> doesnt know about the aphrodisiac in the water

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Face flushed red thinking about (daddy) specially that when i try to call him such, I’m so mfing shy i have to tuck my face behind his ear every time to say it bcz I cant bear to be looked at n move my mouth at the same time😵‍💫

(He/it)

🫣totally not 4: @dynamic-sin

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Not to flex but Poly squeakings of being a spoiled guy, i have one calling me bestest boy and the other calling me little prince live ur dreams and ask for stuff guys🥹 turns out communication is really cool even if ur sososososos scared

(He/it)

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Also hitting the point of -cant start a task- that like even jerking it takes to much focus to hit engage so i kinda feel like a marble at the bottom of a ship just rolling with no internal direction and a mildly inconvenient wet patch

(He/it)

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Bweh~ when the breakfast+doing a walk+attempting to engage with task in a diff way+journaling doesn’t work for providing enough gas to get started. And then trying to plan a days worth of chores around the one thing my brain actively find exciting 🥲😭😭 brain foggy heart lonely body buzzing

(He/it)

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Cancel the sad pms posting i shared my feelings and communicated and enjoyed human support and connection and find i will live to the next moon

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

More pmdd squeeks

Weh weh weh~ i feel pathetic and pitiful and i dont know if i want someone to ❤️take care of me❤️ about it or 👊take care of me👊 about it, idk experiencing desire and neediness make me want to crawl into the furthest hole possible and not be reached. Crying over nothing when i could be crying over something, since the anguish is mostly internal its nice for it to be made physical to get some form of relief~

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

Needy creature hours Pmdd and pms is a hell of a time, i want to commit crimes of impulse and hedonism? And don’t want to live anymore?? Flipping from one extreme to another, attempting to not nuke my interpersonal relationships in the 5 days of scream brain I experience.

LookatmeLookatmeLookatmeeeeeee, do u still like me? So needy internally it almost bring out a type of dom in me, i want it so badly i make u look at me, grip your face and purse ur lips with my hand, collar you and tie it to my belt so u cant stray far. Fucking LOOK at me, pull your hair and kiss you till you’re breathless and a thin strand of spit connects us. You’re mine, mine, mine-MINE ill leave so many fucking hickeys on your neck and thighs, the amount of bruises will have everyone staring and blushing as they turn away themselves wishing it was them.

[ickycreaturesqueeks]

The fact that t has made my nipples even more sensitive now that my chests deflated a bit 😵‍💫 like no fair~~now being felt up makes my dick extra hard, and i can barely stand it without something to rut against