ilovethikkthots

[ilovethikkthots]

If you’re a fan of house music

[ilovethikkthots]

Braiding & Electronic Music - a live video concept by my sister Vanille Ferragu, and Marie Manguele for HEADBUTT featuring artists Sydfalls & Ushka ♡♬

[ilovethikkthots]

Si algo me llena el alma de alegría y gratitud es saber bien a mi mamá; mirarla y escucharla contenta, llena de luz y de vida… Abrazarla me hace sentir, más que amado, niño, pues en sus suaves brazos encuentro el descanso y la protección que tuve al nacer y que, de pronto, olvido y me es esquiva.

Si hay una mujer en el mundo que tiene el poder de hacerme sentir inocente, ingenuo y protegido, es mi mamá.

Antes de que ella me pensara, yo no existía como existo. Era un pedazo de nada en el medio del silencio y del vacío en espera de abrir los ojos a la vida. Ella me pensó, me imaginó, me nombró y, de pronto, ya me tenía navegando en su vientre como un pedacito de ella, pero con un corazón propio.

Navegué por nueve meses en su interior y pude impregnarme de su esencia. Bailaba cuando ella bailaba y lloraba cuando ella lloraba. Me dolía su dolor tanto como placer me daba su alegría. Era una extensión de su sangre, de su aliento, de su cuerpo y alma. Su genética yacía palpitando en la mía como una huella… ¿Cómo podría pensar separarme de su ser?

Creí que iba a navegar eternamente en su vientre, hasta que me sacaron de él.

Desperté, me obligaron a hacerlo… Me sacaron de mi cama y me elevaron al cielo para darme la bienvenida a este mundo del que no tenía ni un recuerdo. Pero, ahí estaba mi madre, la dueña de mi destino… la dulce mujer que, en su soledad, soñaba conmigo. Me estrechó en sus brazos cuando me cedieron a su pecho y besó mi frente mientras me nombró en secreto: su adorado sueño, el niño de su corazón y su regalo del cielo.

Photo by Oleg Sergeichik on Unsplash

If anything fills my soul with joy and gratitude, it is to know my mother well; to look at her and listen to her happy, full of light and life. Hugging her makes me feel, more than loved, a child, because in her soft arms I find the rest and protection I had at birth and that, suddenly, I forget and it is elusive to me.

If there is one woman in the world who has the power to make me feel innocent, naive and protected, it is my mother.

Before she thought of me, I did not exist as I exist. I was a piece of nothingness in the middle of silence and emptiness waiting to open my eyes to life. She thought of me, she imagined me, she named me and, suddenly, she had me sailing in her womb as a little piece of her, but with a heart of my own.

I sailed for nine months inside her and was able to soak in her essence. I danced when she danced and cried when she cried. I ached for her pain as much as I took pleasure in her joy. I was an extension of her blood, her breath, her body and soul. Her genetics lay pulsing in mine like an imprint… How could I ever think of separating myself from her being?

I thought I was going to sail eternally in her womb, until I was pulled out of it. I woke up, they made me do it… They took me out of my bed and lifted me into the sky to welcome me into this world of which I had no memory. But, there was my mother, the mistress of my destiny… the sweet woman who, in her solitude, dreamed of me. She clasped me in her arms as I yielded to her breast and kissed my forehead as she secretly named me: her adored dream, the child of her heart and her gift from heaven.

[ilovethikkthots]

Someone pray for me

I’m going through something,

This is the part where you speak in tongues,

This is the part where low self esteem meets confidence,

They make love,

Have a child

But confidence has stronger genes

And everyone tell’s baby:

“You’re just like your dad”

Someone pray for low self esteem

I don’t see closed eyes in the congregation

So What low self esteem told me was true!?

All the attention goes to confidence

All the prayers, the praise

The gifts and soft words

Someone pray for low self esteem

As she goes through series of thoughts

Feeling lack of love from the day she was born

I mean,

Who throws their child off a hospital bed,

On the cold sheet vinyl floor

Forcing them to walk by themselves without any form of guidance?

I mean,

Who names their child low self esteem expecting they don’t walk around getting laughed at,

shoved and picked on by their peers?

I mean,

Who names their child low self esteem in the first place?

But one in ten Igbo parents name their child confidence

Maybe that explains why they’re really good with sales and customers

From my little experience going to mile1 to get some clothes

Someone pray for low self esteem,

She’s about to loose it all

Lost all faith, hope

While confidence found solace in peace

Leaving low self esteem to fight for herself

And water falls from her cheek streams

Someone pray for low self esteem,

Getting approached by depression

His ugly face and his sweet words made her fall too deep

She fits perfect with depression,

Thinking of starting a family together

Growing together,

Spending eternity together

Till death from hangman’s knot do them part

Why do I see everyone getting on their knees now?

Why do I see everyone saying words of encouragement

Just when low self esteem’s finally moving on from confidence

I guess no one loves to see you happy

Everyone’s praying for low self esteem,

Praying God gives her the intuition to choose the right partner,

But when she and confidence were together

She was under looked, always told she was too soft

[ilovethikkthots]

Someone pray for me

I’m going through something,

This is the part where you speak in tongues,

This is the part where low self esteem meets confidence,

They make love,

Have a child

But confidence has stronger genes

And everyone tell’s baby:

“You’re just like your dad”

Someone pray for low self esteem

I don’t see closed eyes in the congregation

So What low self esteem told me was true!?

All the attention goes to confidence

All the prayers, the praise

The gifts and soft words

Someone pray for low self esteem

As she goes through series of thoughts

Feeling lack of love from the day she was born

I mean,

Who throws their child off a hospital bed,

On the cold sheet vinyl floor

Forcing them to walk by themselves without any form of guidance?

I mean,

Who names their child low self esteem expecting they don’t walk around getting laughed at,

shoved and picked on by their peers?

I mean,

Who names their child low self esteem in the first place?

But one in ten Igbo parents name their child confidence

Maybe that explains why they’re really good with sales and customers

From my little experience going to mile1 to get some clothes

Someone pray for low self esteem,

She’s about to loose it all

Lost all faith, hope

While confidence found solace in peace

Leaving low self esteem to fight for herself

And water falls from her cheek streams

Someone pray for low self esteem,

Getting approached by depression

His ugly face and his sweet words made her fall too deep

She fits perfect with depression,

Thinking of starting a family together

Growing together,

Spending eternity together

Till death from hangman’s knot do them part

Why do I see everyone getting on their knees now?

Why do I see everyone saying words of encouragement

Just when low self esteem’s finally moving on from confidence

I guess no one loves to see you happy

Everyone’s praying for low self esteem,

Praying God gives her the intuition to choose the right partner,

But when she and confidence were together

She was under looked, always told she was too soft

[ilovethikkthots]

I’ll tell you when I see you in school

You know that feeling?

That love at first glance feeling

Anxiety running gym laps in your chest

Speeding past stallion noire moving at full speed

Making you easily dyspneic

Trampolines filled with bouncing cocoons undergoing metamorphosis

Just to move around my abdomen causing discomfort

Oh Eros!

Uncertainty and their lover thriller hold my hands

Me in the middle of sweetness and love

Warm sliced bread

Some bacon pressed down

Squeezing out all the juice from the dark red protein

Dripping all over the cemented slab

Leaving no trace behind

Just before getting to the 32 walls to be crushed by reality and fear

Oh moonlight!

Where can I find the sunlight that makes you shine so bright by noon

And show your grace and mercy upon wild beasts starving in thick forests

Patiently camouflaging and lurking behind 20 inch shrubs

Ready to pounce on a full course meal

Courtesy your elegance and amnesty

I’m down on my knees

[ilovethikkthots]

I’ll tell you when I see you in school

You know that feeling?

That love at first glance feeling

Anxiety running gym laps in your chest

Speeding past stallion noire moving at full speed

Making you easily dyspneic

Trampolines filled with bouncing cocoons undergoing metamorphosis

Just to move around my abdomen causing discomfort

Oh Eros!

Uncertainty and their lover thriller hold my hands

Me in the middle of sweetness and love

Warm sliced bread

Some bacon pressed down

Squeezing out all the juice from the dark red protein

Dripping all over the cemented slab

Leaving no trace behind

Just before getting to the 32 walls to be crushed by reality and fear

Oh moonlight!

Where can I find the sunlight that makes you shine so bright by noon

And show your grace and mercy upon wild beasts starving in thick forests

Patiently camouflaging and lurking behind 20 inch shrubs

Ready to pounce on a full course meal

Courtesy your elegance and amnesty

I’m down on my knees

[ilovethikkthots]

I’ll tell you when I see you in school

You know that feeling?

That love at first glance feeling

Anxiety running gym laps in your chest

Speeding past stallion noire moving at full speed

Making you easily dyspneic

Trampolines filled with bouncing cocoons undergoing metamorphosis

Just to move around my abdomen causing discomfort

Oh Eros!

Uncertainty and their lover thriller hold my hands

Me in the middle of sweetness and love

Warm sliced bread

Some bacon pressed down

Squeezing out all the juice from the dark red protein

Dripping all over the cemented slab

Leaving no trace behind

Just before getting to the 32 walls to be crushed by reality and fear

Oh moonlight!

Where can I find the sunlight that makes you shine so bright by noon

And show your grace and mercy upon wild beasts starving in thick forests

Patiently camouflaging and lurking behind 20 inch shrubs

Ready to pounce on a full course meal

Courtesy your elegance and amnesty

I’m down on my knees

[ilovethikkthots]

"To understand the limitations of things, desire them."

"When there is no desire, all things are at peace."

Lao Tzu

Take some time to consider these statements, reviewing the frustrations or emptiness of pursuing things.

It is our busy minds that become convinced there is pleasure in possessions and circumstances.

The quiet mind sees through this illusion.

Expect nothing.

Appreciate everything.

I appreciate each of you,

Lost Dog

[ilovethikkthots]

Ocean eyes

Seeing you backtrack sawed my heart to pieces,

seeing your blue eyes not look in my direction put me in point Nemo

begging for help with no one coming to my rescue

Drowning, asking God for one more chance

My life jacket can’t keep me on surface, swimming through the ocean looking for another way out

You shouldn’t feel guilty for knocking me off your faulty cruise

Loving all your flaws was probably what knocked me to the ground of the ocean

Loving all of your insecurities is probably the reason I ended up here, stuck

With the supreme judge of life Mother Nature denying my bail, giving me life, looking death in the eyes

Hugging you, grabbing your waist while

you place your arms above my shoulder is a position I never want to get out of

Telling me how your beliefs forbid us from being together

Saying I’d never understand when your eyes do the talking

Oh God! How I love them

Talking about how awkward you are, me loving every little thing about you

Having all these thoughts flash before my eyes before my untimely death

Hoping and wishing heaven feels like this

[ilovethikkthots]

Ocean eyes

Seeing you backtrack sawed my heart to pieces,

seeing your blue eyes not look in my direction put me in point Nemo

begging for help with no one coming to my rescue

Drowning, asking God for one more chance

My life jacket can’t keep me on surface, swimming through the ocean looking for another way out

You shouldn’t feel guilty for knocking me off your faulty cruise

Loving all your flaws was probably what knocked me to the ground of the ocean

Loving all of your insecurities is probably the reason I ended up here, stuck

With the supreme judge of life Mother Nature denying my bail, giving me life, looking death in the eyes

Hugging you, grabbing your waist while

you place your arms above my shoulder is a position I never want to get out of

Telling me how your beliefs forbid us from being together

Saying I’d never understand when your eyes do the talking

Oh God! How I love them

Talking about how awkward you are, me loving every little thing about you

Having all these thoughts flash before my eyes before my untimely death

Hoping and wishing heaven feels like this

[ilovethikkthots]

Beauty Marks

Days go by without communication

Time goes by

You’re never close to me when I need you

Warm summer afternoons

Feel like windy, stormy nights in Antarctica without you

Rubbing your thighs,

Fingers melt when I touch your skin

Careful!

You might burn yourself playing with fire

Insane to express the high I get from all the burn marks you give

Not hearing you speak,

Not seeing your texts,

Not seeing your smile and my favorite piercing on your nose

Puts a hole in my heart

Gushing out whenever I see my reflection

The best doctors haven’t come across a case like this

Looking me in my eyes telling me to loose hope In living

“This is a rare one”

Do they read minds?

Do they see my thoughts?

Do they know that’s how I feel whenever I think of you?

Do they know that’s how my friends view you?

A lot of people would think this was written for them

Asking themselves questions, reminiscing on times we spent together

When this is about YOU

This is the beginning of how fast we’ve come to an end

And this is the end of how attraction begins

[ilovethikkthots]

Beauty Marks

Days go by without communication

Time goes by

You’re never close to me when I need you

Warm summer afternoons

Feel like windy, stormy nights in Antarctica without you

Rubbing your thighs,

Fingers melt when I touch your skin

Careful!

You might burn yourself playing with fire

Insane to express the high I get from all the burn marks you give

Not hearing you speak,

Not seeing your texts,

Not seeing your smile and my favorite piercing on your nose

Puts a hole in my heart

Gushing out whenever I see my reflection

The best doctors haven’t come across a case like this

Looking me in my eyes telling me to loose hope In living

“This is a rare one”

Do they read minds?

Do they see my thoughts?

Do they know that’s how I feel whenever I think of you?

Do they know that’s how my friends view you?

A lot of people would think this was written for them

Asking themselves questions, reminiscing on times we spent together

When this is about YOU

This is the beginning of how fast we’ve come to an end

And this is the end of how attraction begins

[ilovethikkthots]

SET IN STONE LOOKBOOK

LOOK 1 OF 3

SHOT, STYLED AND EDITED BY ME

STYLING PORTFOLIO : instagram.com/04swaggedout

[ilovethikkthots]

Unblock me

Her instagram caught my attention,

Lightskin, brown hair

No makeup,

she takes being herself too literal

Her smile is too wide, dim eyes,

barely looking like they are open

I would let you see it, too bad

I keep everything meaningful and beautiful in my life a secret

My meaningless and ugly thoughts

I keep a secret,

my whole life feels like a dream

Nothing too fancy or too exciting

Nothing, not even 4 figures in my bank account

I keep the beautiful and the ugly a secret

I read your poems,

You wrote them before we spoke,

Even a blind person, would see

it was made specifically for me

You’re very descriptive with your words

If I get too descriptive,

every man that comes across this,

Might feel the same way I feel,

I’m too jealous, even when I feel

I have you all to myself

Words really can’t describe how I feel

hearing your voice is same as seeing you before my eyes

touching you leads to passionate love making

Love making leads to you shivering on a warm summer night

Summer nights leads to you reassuring,

repeating how I really am the one for you

[ilovethikkthots]

Unblock me

Her instagram caught my attention,

Lightskin, brown hair

No makeup,

she takes being herself too literal

Her smile is too wide, dim eyes,

barely looking like they are open

I would let you see it, too bad

I keep everything meaningful and beautiful in my life a secret

My meaningless and ugly thoughts

I keep a secret,

my whole life feels like a dream

Nothing too fancy or too exciting

Nothing, not even 4 figures in my bank account

I keep the beautiful and the ugly a secret

I read your poems,

You wrote them before we spoke,

Even a blind person, would see

it was made specifically for me

You’re very descriptive with your words

If I get too descriptive,

every man that comes across this,

Might feel the same way I feel,

I’m too jealous, even when I feel

I have you all to myself

Words really can’t describe how I feel

hearing your voice is same as seeing you before my eyes

touching you leads to passionate love making

Love making leads to you shivering on a warm summer night

Summer nights leads to you reassuring,

repeating how I really am the one for you

[ilovethikkthots]

Unblock me

Her instagram caught my attention,

Lightskin, brown hair

No makeup,

she takes being herself too literal

Her smile is too wide, dim eyes,

barely looking like they are open

I would let you see it, too bad

I keep everything meaningful and beautiful in my life a secret

My meaningless and ugly thoughts

I keep a secret,

my whole life feels like a dream

Nothing too fancy or too exciting

Nothing, not even 4 figures in my bank account

I keep the beautiful and the ugly a secret

I read your poems,

You wrote them before we spoke,

Even a blind person, would see

it was made specifically for me

You’re very descriptive with your words

If I get too descriptive,

every man that comes across this,

Might feel the same way I feel,

I’m too jealous, even when I feel

I have you all to myself

Words really can’t describe how I feel

hearing your voice is same as seeing you before my eyes

touching you leads to passionate love making

Love making leads to you shivering on a warm summer night

Summer nights leads to you reassuring,

repeating how I really am the one for you