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“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

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OH YOU MEAN ME?!

Man it's such an issue

That moment when u can only draw front view, profile, and 3/4s

Smh.

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This is precious and pure

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”

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Hello Americans!

Hey guys, a friend of mine showed me this weather forecast today that is expected to hit the US around midweek next week. Some of these temperatures are rather extreme, but as a Canadian who has dealt with them many times in life I thought I’d offer a few tips! To start with here are a few handy websites: https://www.unitedwayvgu.org/coldweathertips https://blog.esurance.com/how-to-prep-your-car-for-extreme-cold/ https://m.wikihow.com/Start-a-Car-in-Freezing-Cold-Winter-Weather Now, here are a few tips I think will be invaluable, especially for those in the -30F to -52F zones: Sadly the things we have (winter gas, antifreeze, -50C windshield washer fluid etc) is readily available in Canada but probably not in the United States. If it IS available for you I would definitely consider picking some up before next week. If you are planning to go to school or work or wherever, and there is not a dedicated snow plowing system in effect, consider that you may make it somewhere safely but not home at the end of the day. Snow builds up fast, and in those conditions can turn to ice ridiculously fast. Vehicles can also die and refuse to start up later even if you got them working just an hour ago. Bring phone chargers of backup power banks. That level of cold will suck the power from your mobile in no time, even if it was kept in your pocket. Bundle up! You can get frostbite in minutes, and especially if the wind is bad. Do not let any skin be exposed if you have to be outside over 5-10 minutes. The wind and cold are going to feel extremely painful on your skin. it will also likely be a shock to your lungs when you breathe in the cold air. You should be wearing (or at least taking with you) a heavy coat with hood, a toque, a thick scarf, a ski mask or balaclava, extra socks, and base layers or long johns underneath your pants. Sunglasses too! Snow blindness is awful. If you can avoid doing so, don’t go out! If you have a sick day or vacation day or can afford to stay home from school one day I would insist on doing so. The temperature your feet are highly influence the rest of your body so keep them warm. Wear shoes with heavy traction because after about -10 even salt on the sidewalks stops being fully effective and ice can build up fast. Start your car 15-20 minutes before you have to leave so it’ll warm up. If you have a portable heater keep it going. The cold will seep in ungodly fast and that little heater may be all that keeps your pipes from bursting. It’s good to have one near the bathroom and the kitchen. Keep your heat turned up, even if you leave the house. The cold and the wind will leech the heat from the building fast, and if you have pets you need to be sure they stay warm too! If for any reason you think the power is gonna go out boil some water as hot as you can get it then put it in a thermos. Then you have super hot water for a few hours if you need it. This is also useful for pouring over anything frozen shut. Check the weather frequently! Temperatures can dip very suddenly and winds can pick up and bring in blizzards. Honestly just leave the Weather Network playing all day. I hope this helps someone, and if you can please share this so other can be prepared for the incoming cold weather! Stay warm and safe! <3

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I saw that ad on facebook for customizable crazy straws and i didn’t even think i just smashed the purchase button and 2 weeks and $15 later this arrived at my house 

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sometimes i wonder how a writer would describe me if i were a character in a book

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Hey. Hi. OW!!!!

What if Tony does die in Endgame?

And yes there’s a huge funeral.

Everyone is mourning but not like the heroes.

No, the heroes feel dead inside.

Because regardless of the fights that was their teammate.

Yet, none of them could feel what Pepper, Happy , Rhodey, and even Peter felt.

Because Tony Stark was not ’just a teammate’. He was a husband, a best friend, and father in everything but blood. He was a hero and it makes the four people mentioned before, angry that he’s finally considered a hero only after his death when he was always that way.

It shouldn’t have to take someone dying to be seem as good.

He shouldn’t have died.

So when Peter came to the tower one day, to visit Pepper as he had done so on many occasions just to check up on her and spend time with her, he held a folder in his hands.

Peter knew Rhodey and Happy were with her, not wanting to leave her alone and not wanting to be alone themselves either, so it made the web slinger smile slightly, shooting a wink to the sky hoping that the billionaire was able to see it.

Peter felt it in his heart that he did see.

Entering the elevator, he greeted Friday with a simple wave and a fond ’hello’, one that she returned.

It wasn’t long before Peter stepped out of the elevator into the penthouse above and true to his beliefs there they were. Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy each in their pajamas and watching a movie that Peter recognized all too well.

“He always wanted to watch that movie every time we were done with lab time.”

His voice brought the three adults away the from the movie, not at all surprised to see the young teen there. The boy had been coming a lot.

Pepper scooted over to be closer to Rhodey and give enough space for Petter to fit in between her and Happy who didn’t hesitate to throw an arm around the kids shoulder.

Because Happy does that now.

Death changes people.

They each had a small smile on their faces but it didn’t reach their eyes.

It was a start of their healing.

“What’s that spider-kid?” Rhodey had asked pointing to the blue folder that held two sheets of paper.

Peter waited a minute before he began talking, “Tony hated space the moment he entered that wormhole during New York.”

And just like that the smiles on their faces were gone and were replaced with grief.

Regardless, Peter continued with a shaky breath, “He hated it and then Wanda put that horrible vision in him and then Titan happened-”

Happy must have realized that the kid was not only getting off track but also getting closer to a panic attack. Slowly, the bodyguard placed a comforting shoulder on the teen to ground him, bring him back in control with himself.

Closing his eyes, Peter clenched and unclenched his hands around the folder before opening them again. Sending a grateful look to Happy, who said nothing.

“All of that happened,” he continued, “and then he was alone and he..” he trailed off, knowing that they understood what he meant.

“It’s not your fault Peter,” Peter didn’t believe the words Pepper whispered but he didn’t say anything to contradict her either.

That wasn’t why he was here.

Slowly, he opened the folder and removed the two sheets of paper from their holders.

“He hated space but he was a hero, he is a hero,” he affirmed seriously, “he fought for the Earth that didn’t give him what he deserved and only gave him shit.”

No one said anything to the teen about the foul word, knowing that he need to get the words out. Interrupting would only make worse.

“So, I thought,” Peter began as tears began falling freely, “I thought that since the world couldn’t give him what he deserved after all he did for it. Why not let Space give Tony what he truly deserved?”

Revealing the first sheet of paper was a laminated picture of stars. But there was an arrow on one particularly large one.

The other sheet of paper was a certificate of some sort.

“Lots of people have these and I know space is what made him you know, but this one didn’t have a name and I thought you would like it.”

Pepper stared at the certificate and right there , in plain sight, read:

Tony Stark

Right in the middle and just seeing the name made Pepper let a few tears fall, joining the teen who hadn’t stopped crying either. Of course other things were on the piece of paper but the name was more important than anything else.

“When the company that did these types of things saw who it was for they called NASA and asked if they could make it official.” Peter was smiling through his tears as Pepper continued to stare at the star filled page in front of her, her eyes never leaving that star.

“As in, official to not only every astrologist and scientist in NASA, but to everyone on Earth,” he continued, “this star is now officially named Tony Stark: hero of Earth and Space.”

Rhodey and Happy stared with misty eyes as Peter explained everything. Pepper only stared at the star.

Finally she spoke.

“How- why-?”

Peter sniffled before staring at the floor, “Before my parents died I remember them loving the blue sky because of planes so every morning I say good morning to them, to make me feel like I’m connected to them.”

“After Ben’s funeral,” he continued softly, “ I would go the park to pet and play with the dogs, because I knew he loved them. I always say ’hi’ to Ben when I pass by a park or a dog.”

Softly, he kept going, “Tony hated space but his curiosity for the unknown was just as large as space itself. One night he saw a star the shone as bright as his eyes did when he discovered something new or had a new idea.”

Pepper smiled fondly through the tears as Rhodey chuckled softly and Happy nodded in agreement.

“One day he told me while we were watching the night sky together, he said, ’Pete, you know I hate space right? I hate it so much because of New York but God there’s so much to discover from it.’ ”

Peter chuckled softly through his tears and suddenly, his voice cracked, “ ’I don’t want you to be afraid of being scared or vulnerable, okay? And if I have any kids later on in life, I’m going to tell them the same thing because it sucks. I don’t want my kids to be like me.’ ”

Peter was full on bawling at this point, “ I had asked if you were pregnant but he said no, that he wished you were.”

Closing his eyes he felt his whole body shake as the sobs overtook him and suddenly he was in a group hug with each of them.

“He was a great dad and I wouldn’t mind turning out like him,” Peter said as he laid on Peppers shoulder.

“And I don’t think the baby would mind it either. They’d be happy to know their father was a hero, a great guy, and he would have loved to meet them.”

Rhodey and Happy stared at Peter, confused as to why he was saying something about a baby. It wasn’t until they saw Pepper that they understood.

“How did you know?” She had whispered softly and Peter smiled with a sniffle, “I have hypersensitive ears, I heard their heartbeat.”

And as excited talks of a baby and the star melted some sadness away it was unbeknownst to the four of them the presence of someone that they loved.

‘I love all of you.’

And if the four of them felt the warmth in their hearts at the same time the breeze came from the open window well then nobody had to know.

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If you’re one of those people who thinks executive dysfunction only happens for things we don’t like (school, cleaning,) then please consider the fact that I’ve been meaning to plug my phone in for 20 minutes and I’m now at 2% and still putting it off to write this post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

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If it is paralyzed.... I think all of Ghost Peppers would collectively scream. Much thanks to my son for writing a storyboard that's influenced all of us adults.

i have said it before!!! and i will say it again!!! if the next msa video is paralyzed i’ll eat my own ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Rations for various RPG Races

[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]

Universal:

Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.

Discussion thread here.

Dwarf:

Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.

Discussion thread here.

Elf:

Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Halfling:

From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.

Discussion thread here.

Half-Orc:

Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Orc:

Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Gnome:

Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Lizardfolk:

Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Drow:

From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

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FFFFJDJSJDJDJD LOOKIT!!! PRECIOUS!!!!

Aragorn helping Bilbo compose poetry (I wanted to draw this for so long!) :> commissions/store/ko-fi/instagram

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Coming into a fandom late

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Making the burgundy dress.

Design, patterns and sewing made by me. The dress is renaissance inspired, with some personal modifications. The whole dress was hand sewn, including the hems. More pictures of it and a tutorial can be found on my blog.  

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The Bellbottom Debate

@toonmedic @twistedthroughtime

“I can’t believe I’m up at 9 in the morning having a debate on bellbottoms right now” -medic

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ayyyyy

fandom + water + bone puns with the fam on discord x’DD too funny not to post!

featuring  ☠Sans (Spicy) @im-figgering-on-biggering 𝕁𝕠𝕪𝕗𝕦𝕝-𝕊𝕡𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕖-𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕣 @pokibal2001 im a girl who ❤ the 🌊 (jam) @bread-sandwich ernest of the cross 👑@mxst-be-remembered Starving Musician @pciscned-trickster You’re my Sunshine ♥ (Kellie) @eternalsymphonies and me :D 

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OH MY GOD!!! BOO! HE'S HECKIN BLUE!!!

a moor frog