incorrect-koopalings

[incorrect-koopalings]

on hiatus until the koopaling spark comes back

[incorrect-koopalings]

Roy: The word daddy has been ruined so my future kids will have to call me bruh or some shit

[incorrect-koopalings]

Iggy: Day 1 of eating every plant I see

(later)

Iggy: Something bad is happening

[incorrect-koopalings]

Bully: I wonder who’s ruining my life.

Bully: *looks in the mirror*

Bully: So we meet again.

[incorrect-koopalings]

Krud Muffin: Get your hand off my shield!

Blue: There's like a million other shields.

Krud Muffin: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers.

Blue: *hits Krud Muffin with the shield* Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

[incorrect-koopalings]

Larry, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.

Ludwig, in line behind her: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

[incorrect-koopalings]

Kootie Pie: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

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Tricksy: This is a safety pin.

*cuts off end*

Tricksy: It is now a danger pin.

[incorrect-koopalings]

Junior: I don’t remember that.

Iggy: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door?

Junior: ...No.

Iggy: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles?

Junior: Not especially, no.

Iggy: It was in between those two things.

[incorrect-koopalings]

kamekku_wizardry: (posts the prisoner bread key question into the meme channel of Bowser's Discord (pic below cut for reference))

beethoven_von_koopa: Because we often choose to satisfy our immediate desires at the price of our freedom.

mortonstar_jr: Because bread is tastier than key.

[incorrect-koopalings]

*At the police station*

Lemmy: Hi, I’m here for Wendy.

Police officer: Who’s Wendy?

Lemmy: Ah, you must be new.

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Iggy: Isn’t it weird how we pay money to see other people?

Morton: You mean movies?

Ludwig: Concerts?

Roy: Prostitutes?

Iggy: Wha…N-no, I mean glasses, what the fuck?

[incorrect-koopalings]

Larry: I told Lemmy to grab snacks for everyone.

Ludwig, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Larry, Lemmy, and Iggy raise their hands*

[incorrect-koopalings]

*Bullying Prevention Day at school*

Prince Toadstool: Tricksy, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?

Tricksy: Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case—

Prince Toadstool: To write something to your teacher?

Tricksy: —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! Queen Mom always says the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school!

Prince Toadstool: *internal screaming*

[incorrect-koopalings]

Iggy: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.

[incorrect-koopalings]

Larry: What is it about being on a plane that makes people go buck wild for ginger ale?

Ludwig: Ginger ale is supposed to help settle your stomach if you get nauseous, so people with air sickness order it.

Iggy: Ginger grow in the ground, so it keeps you connected to God’s green earth while you’re thousands of feet up in the Heathen Tube.

Morton: It slaps next question

[incorrect-koopalings]

(redford, greendale, and bluebelle are the koopa kids from mario party)

Junior: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Greendale, Redford, & Bluebelle: Okay.

Junior: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Greendale: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Redford: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Bluebelle: Bold of you to assume I can die.