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I couldn't afford a therapist, so I decided, hey, why not start a podcast?

Jounce (probably)

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Dr. Wallis: I hope you'll excuse my cheap wit,

Dr. Wallis: But the hour is late and it's all I have left.

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I've never been one to half-ass shenanigans.

Jounce, plotting something with Prisma and Riptide (probably)

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Riptide: What are you going to do?

Reverse: I don't know. Something dramatic, I hope.

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I am not going to sit here and listen to you accusing me of things I clearly did!

Reverse (probably)

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Lady Lightning: [to Molten] You know that he was arrested for stealing a smoothie machine, right?

Willpower: Two smoothie machines.

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Reverse: Am I weird?

Riptide: Yeah, but you're hot, so it's easier to put up with.

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Martha: Safe travels, Willpower.

Willpower: I have no say in the matter.

Molten: Die, then.

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Reverse: I'm going to get a closer look. *floats off*

Silverstar: Reverse, be careful-- ah...

Molten: Welp. Time to start writing his obituary. *takes out a pen and paper*

Silverstar: Oddly morbid gal, aren't you?

Molten: Yes.

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Riptide: *opens door* Molten? You deliver pizza now?

Molten: What? I--

Riptide: But we didn't order any pizza.

Riptide: And you forgot the pizza anyway.

Molten: ...

Riptide: *yelling over shoulder* Reverse, the pizza place screwed up again!

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Riptide: Teammates, I stand before you--

Riptide: Because if I were behind you, you couldn't see me.

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Reverse: So, we had a meeting to debate a new form of government...

[earlier]

Riptide: I vote anarchy.

Reverse: You can't vote anarchy, you dumbass!

Molten: Monarchy! Whoever holds the sword!

Jounce: Party Paryarchy!

Molten: Military dictatorship!

Prisma: Matriarchy.

Riptide: Oh! How about malarkey?

Molten: Riptide, that's not a type of government. It just means meaningless talk and nonsense!

[...]

Reverse: Malarkey won.

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Jounce: ...I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like... a sack of puppies.

Reverse: What?! Why would you drown puppies?!

Jounce: Because they're cute and cuddly.

Reverse: Are... you coming on to me?

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Jounce: Riptide, on the dating quiz, you scored a three out of five.

Riptide: YES! YES!!!

Prisma: *announcer voice* DATEABLE.

Jounce: This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers, and convicts.

Riptide: I still consider this a victory.

Jounce: Willpower, your score is-- yeesh! You know, scores don't matter! You should just focus on being you.

Prisma: *announcer voice* QUESTIONABLE.

Jounce: Reverse, on a scale of one to five, you scored... a TWELVE?!

Reverse: My grandma was right all along! I am the world's most perfect man.

Prisma: *announcer voice* TOTAL HUNK.

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Molten: You look happy. Let me guess... You dropped your sandwich and they gave it to you for free.

Riptide: No--you can do that? Why doesn't everybody just drop their sandwiches on the floor?

Molten: I was trying to insult you.

Riptide: Instead you gave me an amazing life hack.

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Reverse: I made tea.

Jounce: I don't want tea.

Reverse: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.

Jounce: Then why are you telling me?

Reverse: It's a conversation starter.

Jounce: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Reverse: Oh, is it? We're conversating. Checkmate.

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Atarah: I've never actually been in a snowball fight.

Recondite: Really?

Atarah: I don't even know the rules. Is there, like, a point system, or is it to the death?