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*Ace trying to sound both smooth and pathetic*: My brother was abducted.

Yamato: I am so sorry!

Ace: It's ok, I've had time to adjust.

Yamato: Did it happen when you were kids?

Ace: Like 30 minutes ago...

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Kanaya: The Difference Between A Courtesan And A Whore Is

Kanaya: Well The Shoes Are Nicer

Vriska: I think your shoes are fine. >::::D

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Usopp: You're building a bomb?!?

Franky: I was gonna put it in this super box.

Usopp: What's a box gonna do?!?

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John: alright, i put him in the septic tank.

Dave: who

John: the corpse.

Dave: what corpse

John: karkat's corpse.

Dave: he wasn't a corpse when I left him john

[John. Proceed to freak out]

John: can't we get him out of the tank?!

Dave: yeah okay how long has he been down there breathing liquid shit

John: like, ten minutes, tops.

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[Chip dramatically dying]: I don't know, it's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jay: It's hellfire, Chip. Turn around.

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Chip: Someday I'll visit a place with no ancient evils, horrors, devouring plagues, or insanity.

Chip: Maybe a nice beach.

Gillion: I can recommend a few, if you'd like.

Chip: Please do.

Jay: The day you go to the beach is the day an armada of angry demon pirates show up.

Chip: Hmm, I've got a bad feeling all of a sudden.

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Chip: Were you really locked up in the B.L.O.C.K for a decade?

Drey: It may have been more than that. I stopped counting after a while.

Chip: What did you do? A decade is a long time.

Drey: On good days, I posed riddles to passers-by, offering treasures for the correct answers.

Chip: Really?

Drey: No.

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Bakugou: I'll get you next time, nerd!

Midoriya: I beat you twice already

Bakugou: Yeah, right. The first time was a draw.

Midoriya: And the second?

Bakugou: No witnesses, never happened.

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Gillion: If you ever meet someone who calls the Gatorade flavors their actual names instead of just colors, they are 100% a cop.

Jay: But you gotta specify though. Like, frost glacier freeze or cool blue. You can't just say blue because they're both blue.

Gillion: Blue and light blue. Nice try, officer

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Chip: Do you think I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Gillion: You are a hazard to society in both land and sea.

Jay: And a coward. Do 20.

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Hisoka: We have your mom

Gon: I don't have a mom?

Hisoka: Then who is this blonde muttering about revenge?

Gon: Oh my god, you have my mom

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Nami: Why don't you have a girlfriend?

Vivi: My father is strict. Why don't you?

Nami: Your father is strict.

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Corazon: I'm going to McDonald's, what do you want?

Law: Death

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Robin: When I get murdered, make sure my case is unsolved.

Usopp: Huh??

Robin: I wanna be on BuzzFeed Unsolved.

Usopp: Let’s go back to the “when I’m murdered” part.

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Karkat: WHEN WILL THE FUCKASS EXPRESS GET HERE?

Terezi: D4V3 4ND SOLLUX G3T H3R3 4T N1N3.

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Pearl: We need to talk about your professionalism.

Amethyst, from atop a table: Those are some mighty brave words from someone standing in lava.

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The Lord Bertilak after Gawain kisses him: *Dang, this man was literally too nice to sleep with my wife*

Sir Gawain blushing profusely: *kissing two people in one day? What am I? A whore!?*