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Slappy: *falls into wheelchair* Slappy: I have crippling depression.

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Toon: Mothertrucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.

Toon Council: Watch your profanity.

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Colonel Violet Supergrooven: Thanks, Dad. Colonel Violet Supergrooven: ...why is everyone staring at me? Captain Rollie Dandysnooker: You just called Lord Lowden Clear Dad. You said "Thanks, Dad". Colonel Violet Supergrooven: What? No I didn't. I said "Thanks, man". Lord Lowden Clear: Do you see me as a father figure, Violet? Colonel Violet Supergrooven: No! If anything, I see you as a BOTHER figure, because you're always BOTHERING me. Captain Rollie Dandysnooker: Hey! Show our father some respect!

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Alec: Who's the hottest Uber driver you've ever had?

Dimm: Umm, I never went to Oovoo Javer.

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V.P.: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to:

V.P.: T-T-T-T-T-TARGEEEET! [Airhorn noises]

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“I let my haters be my motivators. Mostly they tell me I suck, and then I get sad. This was a terrible idea.”

- Alec Tinn, probably

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One time I sneezed, and chipped my tooth.

Doctor Dimm, Toontown Rewritten