jasdrabbles

[jasdrabbles]

[jasdrabbles]

Naruto: Screams

Sasuke: Screams louder to establish dominance

Sakura: Should we do something?

Kakashi: No, I want to see who wins.

[jasdrabbles]

Naruto: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Sasuke: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Naruto: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SAKURA WITH ME

Kakashi, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

[jasdrabbles]

Deidara: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Hidan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Tobi?

Tobi: Probably “road work ahead”.

Sasori: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

[jasdrabbles]

Deidara: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Sasori: How am I supposed to know?

Hidan: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Sasori: *sighs* Sasori: You wouldn't be trapped.

[jasdrabbles]

Deidara, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Sasori: You did WHAT– Hidan: William Snakepeare

[jasdrabbles]

Sasori: When I was your age- Deidara, mocking Sasori: When I was your height. Sasori: Sasori: Listen here you little shit-

[jasdrabbles]

Tobi: What does “take out” mean? Itachi: Food. Hidan: Dating. Sasori: Murder. Konan: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

[jasdrabbles]

Itachi: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Deidara: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Kakuzu: Waking up in the morning.

Sasori: Waking up.

[jasdrabbles]

Hidan: ARE YOU- Deidara: Fucking. Hidan: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Deidara: Fucking. Hidan: IDIOT! Konan: …What was that? Deidara: Pain banned Hidan from swearing, so I’m helping him out.

[jasdrabbles]

Sasori: What are you two arguing about this time?!

Deidara: He's always using common phrases incorrectly! Tobi: Cry me a table, Deidara.

[jasdrabbles]

Deidara: People who take care of chickens should be called chicken tenders.

Sasori: Are you high?

Deidara: What-

Sasori: High?

Deidara: Hello...?

[jasdrabbles]

Deidara: my gender is anger and my pronouns are fuck off and screw you

[jasdrabbles]

Sasori: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Deidara: I'm aware of that.

Sasori: But then you and I had some time together.

Deidara: Uh-huh…?

Sasori: It did not get better.

[jasdrabbles]

Deidara: You remind me of the ocean.

Sasori: Why the ocean?

Deidara: Because you're salty and you scare people.

[jasdrabbles]

Sasori: Leader, in your professional opinion, how would I die?

Pain: Murder. Gangland style execution. We never find your head.

Deidara: That's a shame.

Tobi: (silently raises finger in question)

Pain: You slip in a bathtub.

[jasdrabbles]

Sakura, staring at re-animated Sasori: How come you're back alive??

Sasori: Apparently, there hasn't been a place made for me yet.

Sasori: Heaven clearly doesn't fit.

Sasori: Hell spit me back out twice-