jaspoodlesypp

[jaspoodlesypp]

Oh no, I have A Sads tonight. You know, again. Has to do with my ex, how she’s an independent pirate now, and how my ex-captain invited me to be part of his flag. If he had contacted me a week earlier? Just shortly after she had left the flag and crew? I might have. But two things:

1. I have made too much progress in the last four days. I met new people. I joined a Discord VC with a bunch of people who I didn’t know at all prior and I have received lots of praise from my loved ones for it

2. He should have talked to me before then. I would have joined. But I’m stuck here wondering: What did she do? What did she say to him? Did she say anything? Did he take my side? Has anyone ever been there to take my side, even with her report on how fucking awful I was? Did my (hopeful) timidness and (hopeful) politeness ever make a difference? Did it matter that I was a drunkass alcoholic when anyone spoke to me?

[jaspoodlesypp]

Well well well, it appears as though my ex is no longer part of it any of it. She was also online on the 10th at 6 AM. The answer is still no but isn’t that some tasty gossip

I got invited to be in the flag belonging to my ex’s crew so OF FUCKING COURSE this is when my wifi craps out!!!

[jaspoodlesypp]

I got invited to be in the flag belonging to my ex’s crew so OF FUCKING COURSE this is when my wifi craps out!!!

[jaspoodlesypp]

I’m literally going to puke or some shit. I won a bat the other day thru shitty means (Was too tired to effectively continue doing lairs but did anyway) and someone just bought it for 950k. That’s almost double what I’ve managed to scrape together so far

[jaspoodlesypp]

Psh. I wanted to join an HS but I already made 20k by charting. I could have lost anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours if the HS sunk so it’s not so bad

[jaspoodlesypp]

Why is it that I debate sending out an offer in trade chat expecting (Hoping?) nobody will get back to me and then they do? Like ya, my therapist is really proud of how far I’ve come and all but I still have a crapton of anxiety about every little thing.

[jaspoodlesypp]

I saw my therapist today and she says she’s seen amazing strides in my ability to talk to people online since I started playing YPP without my ex sheltering me. I love earning her praise and I’m very proud of myself c:

[jaspoodlesypp]

Strange when I’m the only charter available. Someone put a request in Global like, three times and I was the only one to respond, I guess. Odd, because I’m usually not quick to respond. Wonder if it has anything to do with Poker being free this evening…

[jaspoodlesypp]

I did some math assuming some numbers and Whisking Potions are totally worth it IF you use them to get to monster frays, even when dubloons are as expensive as they were yesterday (3074 PoE, higher than any other data point that I’ve recorded this year), and even if you don’t win the map.

Assuming you win 900 PoE/battle, that’s 900•45=40,500 PoE, or (assuming a price of 3000 PoE/dub) 13.5 dubloons, or more than double the number you’d need in order to pay the 5 dub delivery fee.

However, I do win a number of maps and selling each 8 day map for 10,000 PoE greatly increases the amount that I earn per Whisk.

So yeah, sitting and watching Global for frays is profitable, which totally validates why I sit for hours and only do frays sometimes haha

[jaspoodlesypp]

You know, the problem with getting sober is that I do embarrassing shit on YPP all the time and I used to be like, “Ahh good thing I won’t remember this in the morning! 😁” and then I fucking do ._.

[jaspoodlesypp]

I love it when someone gives me MORE PoE than I expected for a map but at the same time like, I sold an Atlantis map in a shitty location (7 days, off of HOARFROST of all places) for 12.5k and I’m like noooooo you REALLY didn’t need to do that…

[jaspoodlesypp]

My memming days may be over, but some things never change… She still grooms me, still lays in my lap, and still falls fast asleep after I’ve been playing for a while. And she only ever does it when I’m playing YPP. I have to wonder how she knows…

[jaspoodlesypp]

Being referred to by my actual name on YPP is just the most jarring experience. Like what do you MEAN you know what I’m called irl???

[jaspoodlesypp]

I finally got a KH map at a prime location and sold it for 14k. Like hoooooly cow that’s a lot of PoE considering that I lost that fight…

[jaspoodlesypp]

Another goal that I want to add to my little list: Become Respected+ in Sailing, Rigging, Carp, Patching, and Bilging. I’d eventually like to be better than that, but it’s a good place to start

[jaspoodlesypp]

My dad bought me 500 dubs for my (Extremely belated) birthday and I’m over the moon 🤩 I’m gonna ask my monarch if I can get a deal on some sloops and work on parking those bitches everywhere

[jaspoodlesypp]

I made a new crew called Nightmare’s Dream. I’ve never named a crew all by myself before (The name of my previous crew, Fawning Star, was my ex’s idea) so I’m slightly embarrassed about it, but I chose the name for several reasons:

1. I’ve had nothing but nightmares since my ex left me. My whole mind has been every nightmare’s dream for almost 14 months now and I actually developed narcolepsy because of it

2. Leading a crew is something that will definitely fuel a nightmare or two just because my social anxiety is so wild, but it is something that I feel that I must do anyway

3. I knew it was something creative enough that the name wouldn’t have been taken already

4. It sounds pretty bangin imo