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True story

meirl

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In honor of her birthday, I wrote her a poem titled “Mommy”...

You were young and somewhat naive i mean c'mon, you got married at seventeen yet i know you look back and ask why did you do that why didn't you say no why didn't you just let him go and i've never asked you what is the answer to that because we both know Mommy that 1 + 2 = 3 you plus dad made me

you carried me in your womb for 40 weeks you took care of yourself, you fed me from conception your body has shielded me your entire being was made to protect me not once did you think to abort me not once did you ever give up on me as a baby you gave me plenty of kisses and showered me with love through many hugs its always been in your nature to do the nurturing but not only were you my mother, you also did the fathering

Mommy, you have been there from the very beginning from the stinky diapers to the potty training from the lullabys to the sleepless nights from the goo-goo and gagas to abc's, 123's you were the one to introduce me to SESAME STREET

You were there for the celebrations You were there for the graduations You were there through the failed temptations You were there. You're my motivation

We've had our many ups and downs But what matters the most though we weren't always close no matter how far, no matter what town no matter my wrongs, you have always been around. We hardly saw eye to eye We'd fuss and fight, we shared many cries There was a lot you wanted to do for me but you didn't know how You did your best and I know you tried

Mom, even though you make my life crazy at times and our relationship can get a bit hazy sometimes I know how to be a mom because of you I know what I can, can't, should and shouldn't do Because of you

Even though you CAN be a bit selfish :) your love for me has always been relentless and when we you take the time to spend it together we make great memories that will last forever I want you to know your soul is beautiful just like a daisy and I will always love you, Mommy

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Staycation

Today was the first day of my requested seven days off from work. Usually when someone tells you they are taking that many days off in a row, the first question that pops in your mind is, “Cool, where are you going?” My answer to that when asked is, “nowhere, I am having a staycation.” 

God has put me in what seems like a very long season of discomfort and inconvenience and it is not over yet. During this time I’ve had to carry the full workload and maintaining the household all by myself. Well, I can’t actually take ALL the credit. Praise God for the Body of Christ around me to help when needed and of course nearby family to help with childcare on weekends. I’m truly grateful for them. Though, it’s still a burden at times. I saw many people from work and those from church taking time off to vacation with their families or spouses or even friends for the summer and though I would have loved that, right now that was not in store for me. Feeling a bit weary in that moment, I took some time to get on my knees and just cry out to God asking Him why am I having to go through this? Does He not know how much I dislike this? Doesn’t His word say to “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart?” -Psalm 37:4 Lord, when is that going to happen?

While asking him this and speaking His Word back to Him, He brought me to trust.  Psalm 37:5 says “commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, and he will do this.” So, as I was pulling myself up from the floor, a thought popped up. I, too, can take a vacation cause I am EXHAUSTED! I need one. I need time to spend with God. Not just a fast, but actual time where it is not rushed because I have to go to work. But time where I can just sit in His presence for as long as I need to. I’m exhausted because I have allowed life to consume me. I’m guilty of not making time to spend in God’s word wholeheartedly, depending on my own strength and it has taken a huge toll on me during this season of trial that I have been going through. So here I am on Day 1 of my staycation. I did absolutely nothing today except binge Netflix, had a great couple of hours with the bestie, enjoyed the first day of school/potty training with my two daughters and had an extensive quiet time with the Lord. 

Jesus said to the Pharisees in Mark 2:27 “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” I now see exactly what that means. 

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Peace & Hope in Times of Trials

Having peace and embracing hope during times of trials sounds fairly unrealistic, I know. As friends, acquaintances or relatives to the individual going through a hardship, we often have minimal or nothing to really say to the person. I'm sure we have experienced this if not, have been that person facing those times of trials. Unless someone can genuinely say or truthfully act on solving the issue, we settle for mere words of support, encouragement, and the like. The past two years or so, I've been that person going through difficult times and in every one of them, God has walked with me through it. Some were extremely emotional and some not so drastic but in a way, still troublesome. After all, they are still trials regardless of the size or effect of them. Looking back and asking myself, how in the world did I get through them, the answer was clear to me during a conversation I was having with the hubster. (Gotta love him 😃) & I am going to list a few of them as pointers, in hope, to help you through those difficult times.

Our Perfect Groom, Jesus, says in the second part of John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

The trouble is real.

Jesus Himself tells us that we WILL have trouble. Trust Him in this because He did walk this earth in the flesh, He knows what we have to go through. If you are anything like me though, I dislike, possibly even despise, hardship because it is such an inconvenience and I'd rather not go through it.

At the very beginning of some of my trials, especially in my marriage, I would not accept the reality that we are going through these very tough times. I had deceived myself in thinking that marriage was supposed to be a perfect place and when the bad stuff entered through an uninvited door, I subconsciously pretended that the hardship was not present. My thoughts exactly were, "this is not happening to me. This can not be happening to me." I was inconvenienced and did not like it. Who does? Accepting that the trouble is real and that you are having to face it is the very first step in actually doing something about it. Once I admitted to myself that it is happening, I was open to listening to the encouragement, support, and applying the advice the ladies in my community were giving me.

Humble yourself; you're not in this alone.

Once you acknowledge that the hardship is really taking place and you open your heart you get to pour out. God says in 1 Peter 5:6-7 to "humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." Humble means to "destroy the independence, power, or will of" So when we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, we are letting go of the control we think we have on the situation and giving it to God. Which is why Peter leads into verse 7: cast ALL your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

You are not alone in whatever you are going through. He is there waiting for you to give it to Him because not only does He care, but He is MIGHTY! God is faithful when he says, "he will lift you up in due time." In due time, means his timing though. I know we all want instant results and happiness, and because this rarely happens, we tend to have even more anxiety on top of what's already present. So, keep in mind to continue to cast ALL your anxiety on Him. What that looked like for me, was plenty of prayer throughout the day whenever I thought about the situation.

Share the gospel with yourself.

Now, after the pouring out and casting all of our anxiety and hardship on Christ, we have to pour back in. We need a refill of something, something that in a sense, patches us back up, makes us whole again. That something is the good news, the gospel of Jesus, not binge-watching Netflix, grabbing a beer or coffee, or hanging out with our besties cause we feel better now. That will only place a temporary fix. Sharing the gospel with yourself reminds you that it is not about you. What I mean by that is, the pain that you are feeling is real and so is the trial or trouble you are facing, and I don't want to downsize it all, but if you were to take your focus away from your pain and put your focus on the face of Jesus and what He did on the cross for us, you will see how much bigger He is than the problem you are facing. Not only that, but the gospel also reminds us how loved we are by our Creator. Sin separates us from Him and He wants to be close to us but because of how good He is and how bad we are, He is unable to have that relationship with us. So, because of how much loves us He sent His only Son to die in our place because outside of Christ, we are unable to do anything to bring us to Himself.

This gospel of Jesus makes us dead to sin (the pain, the hurt, the suffering, the ugly) and alive to God which brings peace and hope. By being alive to God, we can walk in newness of life, just as Jesus walked brand new in front of the disciples.

Take heart, He overcame the world, including our trials. We can delight in Him and He will give us the desires of our heart. Psalm 37:4 He will open up His hand and satisfy our every need. Psalm 145:16

We have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand and can now "take glory in our sufferings because suffering produces perserverance, perserverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame because of God's love poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit given to us." Romans 5:3-5.