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Dark Shadows - The Phoenix Laura with David

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Another Geoff’s Artificery! This time, a rather wacky variant of the Deck of Many Things. Fun Fact: This is my 3rd variant of the deck of many things.This has been completed thanks to a friend of mine!

The artwork is by clandestine-stock.

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Catra:

Adora:

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADORA

you are my mf cinnamon apple

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““I make camp” “Okay” “And I scream at the moon.” “You….scream at the moon…” “The moon deserves it.” “…..okay, roll intimidation.” “4” “The moon is unphased.” “You win this round…I go to sleep.” Player wakes up in the domain of Moon goddess. “HEARD YOU WAS TALKIN SHIT!””

— (via yourplayersaidwhat)

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"God is asleep. call back later"

-DM

not mine but my dads he was trying to contact to contact Thor to ask where two items were so that he could throw a hammer and it act like Thor’s hammer. The DM said he had a 2% chance of contacting him my dad rolled the 2% the DM claimed that Thor was asleep and he would have to try again later. this still pisses my dad off today.

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My first set of d&d dice. I ordered them last tue and they were supposed to arrive today but it actually arrived 2 days early. I'm so happy. I've always wanted to get deeper into d&d, but felt overwhelmed by the rules. Ive been doing more research online and on youtube, and im even getting Dungeons & Dragons Core Rulebooks Gift Set that comes out tomorrow as a birthday present. I cant freaking wait.

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Writer’s Block

    I’m incredibly frustrated.  Studies say that procrastination can sometimes be a symptom of fear.  The longer you put off finishing a body of work means the further away putting a piece of yourself out there to be judged.  If you never finish it then that means it can remain this perfect idea in your head.  That is definitely a factor here, but its more like there is a gnawing creature in the back of the head that’s keeping me from focusing. 

     It just sits there like a pressure at the base of my brain, constantly distracting me.  It keeps me from simply sitting down and creating a timeline of events that composites a beginning, a middle, and an end.  I know a story is so much more complicated than that, but i have so many ideas for those more complicated elements.  Maybe that’s my problem, too much freedom for creation, but no focus.

     Characters, settings, themes, and motives are all small parts that blend together in a tapestry for a story.  What are you trying to say with what you’re writing?  What moves you, because ultimately what moves you is going to end up being what you try to move in others.  You want them to respond to this child that’s gestating in your brain.  It’s as important as an actual life.  You see so much beauty in it and you want that beauty to be seen.  You’re practically screaming for you voice to be heard.  So, what do I want to say? What do I want people to feel?  Honestly, I want to make people afraid.

     “A Nightmare On Elm Street” is one of my favorite films and franchises, with Nancy Thompson as one of my favorite “Final Girls.”  Dreams and nightmares are a valuable tool for horror.  They allow us to be vulnerable and free to explore and maybe even deal with the darkest recesses of our soul.  That’s why I love horror, because when you face the darkness, truly face it, You learn who you really are.  

     Throughout the movie everyone in Nancy’s life tries to repress their pain and fear.  Bury it deep withing their mind, allowing Freddy to stalk and terrorize when his victims are most vulnerable.  Nancy however doesn’t run, she doesn’t hide.  She digs and digs until she uncovers the truth that everyone else won’t face.  She becomes Freddy’s antithesis, and finds her true power not in repressing her fear, but embracing it and moving forward from it.  She found out who she really was.

     That’s why I want to scare people.  I want them to face that darkness, cower before it, challenge their on sanity and perception of their waking world, and move on from the last page just a little more sure than when they started.  It’s an immense undertaking when you bear the duty of creating an entire world that you want to mean so much to others, as it does for you.  At some point though I can’t keep running.  Like Nancy, I have to face the darkness and finish my story.

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Unfulfilling Thor

     If you're reading The Unworthy Thor, SPOILER WARNING!!!! It's severely anticlimactic.  Were you hoping he would get the ultimate universe's hammer?  NOPE, He's still unworthy. But it's ok because he realizes and embraces his flaws.  Were you curious what Nick Fury said that made him unworthy?  It's just as disappointing and ill-thought out philosophy to justify not getting the hammer. He's unworthy because all gods are unworthy.

     This was a story months and years in the making.  All of the elements have merit, but considering the amount of set-up, it's almost nonexistent pay-off.  I personally wanted this event to serve as the period to a lot of unanswered questions, but also set it up in a way where we get just a small taste of the way things used to be.  Don't get me wrong all the changes Marvel is doing can definitely be seen as good, but there's so many at once that it's almost like there's no stabilizing perspective for older fans to grab a hold of. 

     Now there is going be a third (well, second since this mysterious new figure is only one of two with an official thor hammer) Thor in the mix. Jane Thor was a great idea and she has given a lot of mileage to the Thor Mythos, with more to give, but the phrase "if it ain't broke don't fix it" rings very true with this new direction. They haven't even finished tapping into the new property that Jane Foster offers and now we have something else entirely being thrown in. I'll admit I'll probably end up liking it, but that's not my point. 

     This story kind of promised a tale of redemption and closing a long-told mystery. We didn't get that. Odinson (Thor) is basically back to where he started, albeit more wise for the struggle which is good, but frankly this story didn't cohesively deliver. The whole point is gods are petty and vengeful, therefore are never worthy, and just because Odinson (Thor) doesn't have a hammer doesn't mean he won't fight for justice. These are true concepts we've seen them first hand in countless other stories. But Odinson as a God isn't really a God in an abstract notion beyond human understanding. His characterization is actually very human, and if he's capable of being self aware of realizing all of this doesn't that kind of contradict the point? I found it to be confusing and only served to take away from the point of the story, that he becomes worthy again. 

     Even if he doesn't need the hammer and takes a more interesting road as a character,which I don't really have a problem with, it's still unsatisfying. Like a half-thought through idea that has great elements but poorly cobbled into one story.  It should probably have been multiple stories. 

     It's biggest enemy was it's set-up. It promised so many things that of course it’s gonna feel unfulfilled. This hype train has been chugging for years. I should have realized the hype was gonna disappoint anyway, Don't allude to one thing if you wanna try something new, and don't hide a secret if it's something so hollow. We waited years for a fortune cookie answer.

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A poem I wrote a long time ago in college.  It was probably one of my favorite assignments.  As I grew up the meaning changed for me.  There’s a certain helplessness that strikes a chord with me looking back.

Photograph

Photograph

By Joe Piller

  A worn and tattered photograph

Set and framed on my desk.

Bright light shines through it,

I can’t look away.

  I have work to do.

I can’t be distracted.

Still I stare through

The perfectly boxed frame.

  I gaze out at

My family on the lawn.

Behind them is the neighbor’s house

With their decorations still hanging.

  My aunt smiles while

My cousin Suzanne frowns,

My Mom gives Dad a last kiss,

And I just stare through the frame.

  The wind seems clean,

Cool and cloudy.

It’s just about to storm on them,

And I just place my hand on the glass.

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Dawwwwwwwwwwwww

A bunch of Zootopia fanart I did recently, more to come!

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The hottest new dating app to hit the market

For more daily comics check out CHartoons

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The story of my life

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Confessions

     I was bullied.  It happened so much that I couldn’t even begin to guess just how often.  I hate them.  I hate them for every name, for every time they made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be alive, to be human, and I hate the control I let them have over me.

     In a way, I forgive them.  It happened when we were kids, and kids know cruelty all too well.  On the other hand though, they helped mold me into whom I became.  I became angry, sad, confused as to how to react in the world, always over-thinking things to the point where I only make the same mistakes over and over again.  I also became selfish.

     I had to retreat into my own little world.  It was safe there.  No one could hurt me, but I was alone, and I liked it.  I pushed things and people away, putting myself before them because that was the only way I knew how to survive.  It wasn’t malicious or indulgent.  It wasn’t even spoiled.  I just didn’t think.  I know I’m selfish, but I do know it and I can fix it.  I like to make excuses.  It’s so terrifying and lonely to be the one at fault, to be hated, and to have others be upset with you. I never intended to make the mistakes I’ve made, no one ever does, and that’s one thing that makes us human.  I’m not a bad person.�� That’s another reason I make excuses, because at the end of it all I long to be understood.  I never set out to cause pain or to put my needs above others.  I’ve only tried to be the best person I could be. 

     I have so many people in my life today.  I’m so grateful to them.  They put up with my bullshit, they encourage me, and they love me.  As self-deprecating as I’m being they know I’m a good person.  I need to start believing it myself, and not to let my mistakes way me down with guilt. 

     The guilt of my mistakes and self-loathing has only made me afraid to hurt people.  I over think things and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.  I also need to find a way to let go of my anger.  My mother used to say that I should forgive others.  This isn’t always for their benefit but for my own.  If I didn’t understand her words at the time then I understood them as I grew older.  Hate and anger are like poison.  If it doesn’t kill you if begins to mar you on the inside until you do something stupid.

     Forgiveness is used with hollow sentiment.  It’s a word that brings finality to a situation.  It may be over but it may not be forgotten, at least not where it counts.  Like all mental and emotional changes it has to come from deep within you.  You have to truly believe it inside the core of your being.  So the question becomes, “How?”

     I want to let these feelings go.  They’ve only led to sadness and generally feeling worthless.  They aren’t the only causes of my low self-esteem.  I feel directionless in life and doomed to be trapped in a situation where I can’t provide for myself well enough and unable to enjoy the free time I can get a hold of.  I failed at college, causing my academic suspension.  I know and except this and it’s a lonely feeling.  I take responsibility for my procrastination being my own undoing but I feel hopeless, not knowing how to move past it.  I know that means move on and try harder but I become so discouraged that I don’t want to try.

     I need to try to put my passions to work, but like anyone can, I make excuses for why I can’t.  Sometimes these excuses are valid.  Sometimes we don’t have the time, the money, or the know-how to do it right.  I need to enjoy doing it if only for the sake of doing it, just like this…whatever this is.  I’m pouring my pain out into something I believe to have some modicum of talent in, writing.  I can’t lie; I do feel better and productive while writing this out.  I hope I can turn this little nugget into something bigger and better, even if it’s only on display for my sanity.  I need to dance and preform, even if my friends and family are the only ones who clap.  Most importantly I think by the time I’ve finished this “article” I need to keep searching for these nuggets of clarity, molding them together, and just enjoy watching T.V. with the man I love.  I may never be perfect, but I have my whole life to be better, and to truly be happy.

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Small Victories

Small Victories

By Joe Piller

The pencil is lying there on the floor.

It’s taunting, laughing at me from below.

I can’t take it any more,

As I watch it cackle and crow.

  My pencil is normal as can be.

It’s just a number two.

But no one sees what I see

When the germs come into view.

  They wiggle and crawl

All over what’s mine,

Lying in wait just to make me fall,

But it’s ok, everything’s fine.

  It’s just a pencil on the floor.

Just that and nothing more.

But I worry and fret

As though it’s a serious threat.

  I bend down to pick it up,

Nearly spilling my coffee cup.

As I grab it, I sigh in relief. 

I hope this time my victory isn’t brief.