jrmcwilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

gk

[jrmcwilliam]

Andrew in glasses appreciation post

[jrmcwilliam]

Blake Harper Chapters, 1998 - Titan Men, dir. Bruce Cam

[jrmcwilliam]

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend.

[jrmcwilliam]

Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

[jrmcwilliam]

Just another day outside.

[jrmcwilliam]

Well now hes died

I cant figure out why

I cried and cried and cried

You're gone, I said goodbye

She lays there

Without your stare

But I'm here to care

For her eternal outerwear.

Where did you go

Only we know

As we look to the moon lit glow

Here is that fateful undertow.

I will always love you.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

[jrmcwilliam]

Here it is

The moment we dont see coming

Because we are too busy being young

Too busy being selfish.

But here it be

He is going to die

I do not lie

And even though I know why

I still dont know how to say goodbye.

I may not have to

Weve already been through

All the trips of my life with you

And all of the innocent things you,

Said when I wasnt listening

The life that remained a vicious ring

Of when you said I was dramatasising

And the hope you were instilling

In me for it wasnt too soon

I'm only 30 and I'm looking at your doom

And now you sit head on table

I dont know if I'll be able

To move forward knowing

That I could have done more

My entire life...

Your entire life.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

Well shit

Now what

Now all we have is ourselves.

I hope you liked yourself before

Because its about to get real all up in yo brain.

Alone time is

At best

Unpredictable.

But you love what you love

And I suggest doin it now

Before it all goes down

And you cant go back

You cant just turn

Around.

Now is forward

And only forward

For wherever you now go

Is where you may end up

And you cant go back.

Its done.

Love

You.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

Late, late at night,

he comes through your door.

Stealing what remains of the light,

All while you snore.

He shreaks across your floor

and trembles at your face,

feeling around in your gore,

and you cant come back to this place.

You feel him and know he is there

but still you lay still in your bed

unknowing of the terrifying scare

Happening centemeters from your head.

A nightmare awakes itself

And you fling yourself awake

Looking to your right and looking to your left.

And then you open your eyes -

What a mistake.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

I wish you were here.

I wish I could smell your little smell.

I wish I could pet those beautiful wisps.

I wish that you were here to remind me that this life is not a waste.

I wish you would come back just to let me know you are okay.

I wish you could answer a text and just simply say Hey.

I wish nothing else than to love that final moment again

years from now.

I wish that I could have done what I was supposed to do

and just remember to enjoy that short period of time

but I cant because you are gone now

and I am sad inside.

I am sad because I miss you.

I am sad because every part of me misses you.

I am sad because I truly understand that you cant come back to me.

You exist in me now.

It is my responsibility to ensure that you are not forgotten.

Wont you come back?

I know you cant.

But even just for one more moment.

Please

just one.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

Is there anyone there that can hear me

See me

Feel me

Know me?

[jrmcwilliam]

He comes in the night

No solice, no fright.

He warns me to stay

In the abode where we play.

There is no good here

No good thoughts, no peer.

For the lingering agony

Stays without antagony.

I do this to myself

Yet no vodka on the shelf

Could take the cry

From the wolf

Bye bye.

He is here no matter

The blunder hereafter.

I want you to go

So I will no longer

Your fo.

I cant stand the perpetual gaze

That from my childhood you hate.

I can hear it in your words

No matter what the doctors say

You've always wanted something else

Though in the sunlight we played.

JR McWilliam

[jrmcwilliam]

“your inability to appreciate the things you have will always poison the future.”

— s.s. (stephenstilwell)

[jrmcwilliam]

This is one of my favorite places in the whole world.

[jrmcwilliam]

I have lost myself

Again

I watch him be so comfortable

So calm

So cool

And I am not that way.

I am not writing anymore

I barely read.

Maybe that's not who I am anymore

Or maybe I never was.

This feeling is lost

Of being so sure of myself

My life

My path.

Gone.

I wake up and act like a house wife.

I get alone time and stare at my phone.

I wait for others to tell me what they want

And then I do that.

I dont know what I want.

I dont know why I'm here.

I dont know who I am

Anymore.

JR McWilliam