kermwrites

[kermwrites]

[Falling for November] Collection

Hi!

This collection is designed for those Sims who seek authenticity and sophistication with a rebellious edge, featuring a rich and bold color palette in deep wine, black, army green, mustard yellow, electric blue, red, purple, and brown.

The collection is perfect for making a statement with a mix of textures and intense colors, with leather as the ultimate protagonist of an imposing and timeless aesthetic!

Check the full collection here

ITEMS

Leather Jacket with Dress

Leather Jacket

Leather Skirt

Leather Skirt v2

Asimetrical Top

Cargo Pants

Wool Sweater

Chained Moccasins

Leather Tall Boots

SWATCHES

*The ones in green are extra swatches inspired in Life and Dead expansion, I thougth at something for the sims who are in the new Reaper Career  or for the sims with the macabre trait 💀💪.

RELEASE DATES

Leather Jacket with Dress [15/11/2024 EARLY ACCESS] //  [13/12/2024 PUBLIC ACCESS]

Leather Jacket + Leather Skirt [22/11/2024 EARLY ACCESS] //  [20/12/2024 PUBLIC ACCESS]

Asimetrical Top + Cargo Pants [29/11/2024 EARLY ACCESS] //  [27/12/2024 PUBLIC ACCESS]

Wool Sweater + Leather Skirt [06/12/2024 EARLY ACCESS] //  [03/01/2025 PUBLIC ACCESS]

Chained Moccasins + Leather Tall Boots [13/12/2024 EARLY ACCESS] //  [10/01/2025 PUBLIC ACCESS]

Hope you like it! 🧡

@maxismatchccworld ​ @sssvitlanz @coffee-cc-finds  @sims4finds @lanaccfind  @cchunters @ccfinds @c12ccfinds @mmoutfitters @mmfinds @emilyccfinds @redheadsims-cc @wysidiacc @ccsimsfindss4 @maxismatchccworld @lotusplumbob @toastyccfinds @cookiesccfinds @strangecowplantfinds @shaenaeccfinds @eanyroseccfinds @kairasimsccfinds @anikasims @blueishccfinds @petiteluneccfind @alt-lanaccfinds @cc-kallo @ccaholic @ccfindsims4 @brindletonccfinds @cinnamonfinds @arcchive @missimformationccfinds @biancmlfinds @kisaccfinds @ceeplays @llama--plumbobcc @luckyduckycc @faeirysims @tenshialaya

[kermwrites]

So my problem with most ‘get to know your character’ questioneers is that they’re full of questions that just aren’t that important (what color eyes do they have) too hard to answer right away (what is their greatest fear) or are just impossible to answer (what is their favorite movie.)  Like no one has one single favorite movie. And even if they do the answer changes.

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results: 

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory) 

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.) 

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

[kermwrites]

quiet acts of love that make me cry 🫂

prompt list by @novelbear

always giving the other the first bite of their food

^ or the last bite

gently resting their head on their shoulder when taking a picture/peeking at something

kisses. on. the. tip. of. the. nose.

zipping or buttoning their jacket for them

when they follow the sidewalk rule :(

^ like imagine realizing it as they gently take the other's wrist and guide them to the other side...omg

waiting until they safely reach the front of the door or get inside before driving off

"did you eat today?"

softly dusting crumbs from their cheeks when eating

^ or even better: kissing it off

"wear a jacket, it's cold out."

watching a movie or show that they know they're interested in.

^ not because they asked them to, but to be able to engage in more conversation related to it when they adorably ramble on and on.

doing their makeup for them

"i brought you flowers." "for what?" "there has to be a reason?"

keeping a few of their favorite snacks in the house for when they visit.

opening the door for them or pulling their seat out before they sit down

lifting the shorter one up so they can be seen in photos

absentmindedly playing with their hair at all times

fixing their clothes a little for them when noticing something is off

[kermwrites]

Saying "I love you" without saying "I love you" — some ways your otp can silently express affection

Forehead kisses, and smiling through the kiss

Resting their forehead on the other’s after a kiss

Tucking strands of loose hair behind their ears, with a thumb caressing their cheek

Interlacing their fingers with the other’s when they least expect it

Sleepy back hugs when the other person is busy whipping up breakfast in the kitchen, catching them by surprise

Just doing their own things in the same space; being so comfortable around the other even in their pyjamas

Holding both their hands while holding their gaze gently, just before leaning in for a kiss

Switching positions with the other when walking down a busy sidewalk because your feel the need to keep the other safe

Being playfully clingy in the mornings when one has an off day and the other has to rush to work

Getting them something from the store when they only mentioned it in passing

When one is overseas for a work trip and everything they see reminds them of the other person (bonus: whenever it happens, they take a picture and drop the other person a text.)

Squeezing their hand reassuringly and holding their hand throughout an intense social situation (eg. a large school reunion which the more introverted person is dreading)

Kissing away their tears

^ and letting the other cry on their shoulder even when their t-shirt gets soaked from their tears

Meeting them where they are, mentally and emotionally; never forcing them to do anything they aren’t comfortable with

Wholeheartedly supporting their dreams, and putting that into action by making concrete plans for it to happen

Dropping the other person an encouraging text before an important interview/event

Surprising the other with flowers just because; no occasion and no reason needed

Picking the other person up from work when it’s getting late, and walking them right to their doorstep after

Good morning and goodnight texts

Making the other person a Spotify playlist with songs that remind them of their relationship and growth

Remembering the littlest of things — activities they like and dislike, favourite brands of stationery, go-to ice cream flavour, choice of popcorn

Writing little notes on post-its and leaving them in random pages of their textbook, so that they will get a little endorphin boost when studying

[kermwrites]

soulmate- vembercember -uary [3/31]

a/n: me @.herbert, who is hiding behind a desk desperate to escape his fate -> woe. soulmate be upon ye 😼🖐💞

vii. CHARIOT -> the date you meet your soulmate(s) is written on your body

if he met you today, he was going to let you die.

he hated being on call. 'well, you knew you'd have to deal with this - why become a doctor?' not for fucking this, he'd say. it was aggravating most nights, spending his shifts anxiously itching to get back to his research. irritation radiated through him when he kept meeting fresh, perfect cadavers being wheeled down to the morgue.

(dan finds this habit of herbert's, eyeing up bodies that have literally just died - on their watch - to be 'morally repulsive'. herbert finds that dan should mind his own business).

but tonight was one of the worst, in his opinion. significantly more annoying. because the majority of people currently taking up space (and thus his precious, precious time) were football fanatics.

some 'big game' had occurred that night, in their town, and as such - like the mindless beasts they were - grown men were stumbling into the ER in droves, having attacked each other viciously over wearing different colored shirts, and that one team of one color threw more balls farther down a patch of grass than the other.

sports. honestly, he couldn't stand it all.

"you're not experimenting on any of them," dan had pulled herbert aside to chastise - even throwing in an accusatory finger to the chest. "we know bodies come back more aggressive already, who knows what would happen if we did that to someone who died already amped up."

well, we could know if he ran the necessary tests, herbert had pointed out - but still he did, reluctantly, have to agree with daniel. if only because he simply wasn't in the mood to deal with getting beat on by a reanimated corpse twice his size and three times as strong tonight. probably later in the week, though.

but more than that: for once, he was too preoccupied to think about reanimation. according to the pesky date on his arm, today was the day he was supposed to meet his soulmate.

he didn't spare you much thought, honestly. when he did think about you, he was more annoyed than anything - in his younger years especially. he simply didn't have the time for that nonsense, nor did he feel compelled towards it, or lacking something or yearning for you in any way. it felt like the universe made a mistake - a sentiment he had no trouble believing, and had resolved to tell you as much once you two met face to face. so, as he went about his work day, he was braced for this tedious (his word - dan's word was 'heartless', or something) conversation, and hoped you would simply accept his rejection and move on quickly, not wasting any more of his time than you already would have.

but if you were one of these sports lunatics, he may well just let you die. out of spite towards the universe for daring to connect him to your dumb ass.

but so far, as he treated patient after patient, he'd yet to come across you. as he neared the end of his shift, in the early hours of the morning and tired as all hell (caffeine was a poor substitute for a shot of reagent), he naively allowed himself to put his guard down.

"i'm off." herbert bit with zero consideration, as he walked down the hallway. well, tried to walk down the hallway, hoping he'd be able to make it back home in time to get a few hours more research done before his useless mortal body passed out for a couple of hours. however, on his way out, someone (a patient having a medical emergency) had the audacity to try and speak to him.

"oh, sorry, it's just- you're coat is still- i am, and i'm kind of..."

he finally took his gaze off the floor - intending to glare at you, until his eyes caught onto two very important things. the first, that as soon as he locked eyes with yours, he knew that this was the person that he was supposed to meet today.

and second, that there was a shit ton of blood caked on your forearm - stemming from a very deep wound around your hand.

"you're bleeding."

"yeah, it's a lot."

those were not the first words you expected to hear from your soulmate, but the massive blood loss kept you from caring all that much.

"i was just walking home and this guys - these guys? some guy, or guys, uhm... a bottle? a broken bottle, i think there was a broken bottle and... you know actually i don't remember how i got involved, i don't think it was on purpose, you know. i don't really make it a habit of getting into street fights or anything. um... is the room spinning or-?"

herbert simply stared blankly at you, as you rambled on anxious, until eventually your eyes fluttered closed. your body swayed a bit, beginning to fall over until he reached out to catch you. it's a good thing you were passed out, this was not the romantic hold you probably would have liked. it was awkward, or rather looked awkward, at least. for herbert. all thoughts of shooing you on your way and out of his life had immediately gone, and he wasn't sure what to do with that. it was... annoying. and it left him standing in the middle of a hospital corridor, like a fool, looking down at you like he didn't know what to do with you. because he didn't. he thought he did, but now...

well, he knew one thing he knew to do, at least.

"oh my god, herbert, what happened? hand them over and i'll-"

"i'll take care of it," herbert cut dan off, gracelessly dumping you onto the nearest gurney. it left dan speechless for a moment, but it didn't take long - nor would it have taken a genius - to figure out what would cause herbert west of all people to go out of his way to help someone.

"this is them?" he asked, jogging to catch up as herbert wheeled you into an empty room.

"astute observation," herbert sighed, not sparing dan a glance as he turned back out of the room. "i truly cannot wait to hear every thought pertaining to this that enters your head. start patching them up. i'm going to get the iv."

as utterly flabbergasted as he was, dan was able to move on autopilot despite the shock, cleaning up the wound and stitching your hand. at some point, a nurse came in to help. but he couldn't help but observe you, staring at your unconscious expression as if you could give him answers. you and herbert, why was that? what did the universe know? what was it trying to accomplish? to prove? what did it have in store for you?

you poor son of a bitch.

"hn-" you grunted, eyes slowly squinting open as your consciousness crawled back to you. "where...?"

"you're at miskatonic university hospital," dan said softly, placing a hand at your shoulder to still you when you instinctively tried to get up. "you had a pretty accident, but we're going to get you all patched up, ok?"

his words slowly sunk in, and you gave a slow nod. your brow remained furrowed though, "was there... someone else...?"

"your soulmate, you mean?"

your eyes glanced down at your other wrist, the one with the date - today's date - written on it. you nodded, yes - your light headed mind reasoned - that must be what you were thinking about.

"that's um... dr. west; he'll be back shortly,"

in your state, you were unable to pick up on how dan's demeanor changed, or how the nurse in the room's eyes widened before they scurried out.

dan let out a sigh. that particular piece of gossip would be spreading quickly.

"dr west?" you said the name quietly, a whisper. even though you were still too out of it to do much emoting, dan could still pick up the eager lilt in your tone. god, you had no idea.

"yeah, my condolences."

"wh- uh-?"

[kermwrites]

Video Games that I would show each of the demon brothers:

Lucifer: I don’t know if I would give him any games for him to play himself, but I think he would enjoy watching you play something with an interesting story. He enjoys theatre a lot, so a game where the focus is more on the story would be more his thing. Games where choices matter, or maybe even visual novels (not dating simulators or anything like that). If we were to get more specific, my favourite story in any video game is Yakuza 0, though I would probably have him sit and watch you play it instead. Other games could be the Dark Pictures Anthology games (or any games by the same devs), or the Telltale games.

Mammon: Hear me out… The Sims. Why? Well, if you show him the Sims on PC, he can mod the game and get a bunch of cool clothes or hairstyles. I also think it would be good for him to scratch that itch of wanting money or expensive things. Show him the motherlode cheat. He’d probably have a lot of fun with it. (He’d totally have a secret save file where he and MC fall in love and get married). Also, make him watch you play a horror game.

Levi: Levi would like just about anything. I have been playing a lot of Taiko no Tatsujin lately, and I would love to see him get into those games. It’s hard to get specific with him when he’s already a gamer. Maybe show him some really cool indie games that he might not be able to get in the Devildom. Also, Dead by Daylight. (I know for a fact they made a reference to Dead by Daylight in an event at one point, I cannot remember which one it was. It might not have even been an event, actually. Regardless, he was the one who brought it up.)

Satan: I can think of so many games that Satan would love. Firstly, Professor Layton. It’s a mystery game full of puzzles. It’s his dream game. Plus, a DS is smaller than a book, and it would be something nice to do besides reading. There are a ton of other mystery games out there for him to play and take on the role of detective. I have not finished this game myself yet, but Judgement (from the Yakuza devs) is another detective game that I think he would really enjoy. Plus, there’s a mechanic in the game where you look around and search for stuff, and you get a little bonus if you find any nearby cats! Also, just like Lucifer, show him games with a really good, dramatic story.

Asmo: Style Savvy. It’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s perfect for him. You get to dress up your own character, run a boutique and give your customers a make over and give them clothes based on their style and what they ask for. He would play for hours. I would also give him the Sims as well. Mostly for the dress up aspect of it. I also think he’d be really into Just Dance.

Beel: DO NOT GIVE HIM COOKING GAMES. You may think that you’d give him something like Cooking Mama. DO NOT. HE WILL EAT THE CONTROLLER OR THE TV. I do have a hard time thinking of what Beel would like in a video game. Maybe he would just like something like Pokemon? I’m not sure why. I don’t play sports games, but I know he likes sports. Maybe one of those? Beel just isn’t a gamer to me, like Lucifer. He could always just be your player two. Wii Sports.

Belphie: Horror games. This boy will fall asleep if it’s anything else. Horror games might be good enough to keep him awake. Loud noises, unsettling atmospheres and sound design. If you give him a cozy game, he’s not staying awake. Give him Outlast, Resident Evil, Amnesia. Anything that could scare him. If not a horror game, something fast where his hands will always be busy, like a rhythm game. Not to bring up Taiko again, but Taiko no Tatsujin. 

[kermwrites]

nothing is more exciting than when you finally finish writing a fic that you've been working on for a while <3

[kermwrites]

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚���𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  more  angsty  dialogue  prompts  to  devastate  your  writing  partners.  metaphorically.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ you’re a weapon, and weapons don’t weep. ❜

❛ you can’t save everyone. ❜

❛ it should have been you. ❜

❛ did i do good? ❜

❛ i’m sorry that i can’t save you. ❜

❛ wait for me, will you? ❜

❛ i can’t lose you again! ❜

❛ you were dead, i saw you die. ❜

❛ we won’t forget each other, right? ❜

❛ i’m real. i’m here. ❜

❛ you already know how this will end. ❜

❛ it’s always my fault, isn’t it? ❜

❛ i don’t want to go. ❜

❛ can you remember how you died? ❜

❛ i love you, but you’re not mine. ❜

❛ have you ever lost someone? ❜

❛ i didn’t ask to get made. ❜

❛ you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you. ❜

❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜

❛ is it really you? ❜

❛ their blood is on your hands. ❜

❛ it would have been better to die. ❜

❛ i’m not ready to lose you yet. ❜

❛ i wish i met you sooner. ❜

❛ let’s just stay here. grow old. ❜

❛ you’re the first friend i ever had. ❜

❛ i told you not to fall in love with me. ❜

❛ you always push people away. i just thought you’d never do it to me. ❜

❛ everyone i’ve cared about has either died or left me. except for you. ❜

❛ i know i have a heart because i can feel it breaking. ❜

❛ they’re not coming back. ❜

❛ i’m sorry, have we met? ❜

❛ in my dreams, we’re still together. ❜

❛ you’re the one good thing left in this world. ❜

❛ i hate the way that i don’t hate you. ❜

❛ it’s okay. you can let go. ❜

❛ you mean nothing to me. ❜

❛ we’re on our own now. ❜

❛ you can’t kill me, i’m not alive. ❜

❛ it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ❜

❛ do you remember when we first met? ❜

❛ we’ll see each other again. ❜

❛ there’s nothing you could have done. ❜

❛ we did it. we won. ❜

❛ let’s not go back. not ever. ❜

❛ thanks for playing with me. ❜

❛ why does it feel like this is goodbye? ❜

[kermwrites]

Best Friends to Lovers Things:

big boi.

WARNINGS: Mentioned death.

Seeing them in a different way after a long time apart. 

Lingering looks.

Bed sharing, but only platonically. (Regretfully). 

Inside jokes. 

Late night [texts] 

Smiles that hurt. 

Always being each other’s +1 to any event. 

Forced proximity, that wouldn’t be such a problem if things weren’t changing between the two of you. 

Home cooked meals, made special by the other. 

Walking each other home from work. 

Falling asleep on the couch, intertwined. 

Fake-dating; either because you have to, (friends, family, a wedding, job) or because you two made an agreement when you were younger to get married. 

Having to vet the other’s SOs. 

Soft touches. A brush on the shoulder, across the waist, through the hair. 

Everyone knowing that, oh, it’s those two. 

People asking where’s the other if only one is present. 

Minted keys to each other’s apartment. 

^ (Bonus if it’s the only copy). 

Sleepovers because you're sick and they don’t want to leave.

Their parents always asking how you’re doing, and yours asking about them. 

Bets on your relationship. 

That kind of laughter that ends up like squeaking because you can’t hold it in anymore. 

Confessing your love in the worst ways. (In the middle of an argument, while in danger, in a drunken stupor, simply because you’re tired.) 

Using them as a seat, because that’s what you’re used to. 

Slow dancing. Totally platonic. 

Prom with one another. 

Spending sad anniversaries on the couch with buckets of chocolate, their arms curled around your shoulders. 

They only trust you with their problems. 

And you only have them to cry on. 

“Goodnight” and “Goodmorning” texts. 

“Did you get home safe?” texts. 

“If anything ever happens to you, call me.” 

Self-sacrificing behavior because neither of you can live without the other. 

Chiding the other while patching them up, inches away from their lips. 

When they throw themselves into danger, you’re there to pull them out. 

“Can’t sleep, come over?” 

Movie marathons. 

Hiding each other whenever you’re not supposed to be in their room, giggling.

“I can’t imagine being with anyone but you.” 

Petty jealousy. 

“Where are you?” 

Always sitting by each other in [school]. 

Fixing each other’s clothing; ESPECIALLY tying their ties, fingers brushing against their sternum. 

“I’ve wanted this forever.” 

Them being the only person who notices the small changes you make to either your appearance or house. 

Emergency contacts. 

Sleep-deprived nights because the other’s in the hospital. 

Platonic love proclamations, until they're not. 

An accidental kiss to the cheek that leaves both of you stunned. 

“I can’t keep going without telling you how I feel.” 

That awkward phase after you start dating where everything is new and you really don’t want to mess it up. 

“It’s just me.” 

The whole exaggeration about their dating. (E;g, we’ve been dating since I’ve known them.) 

“I didn’t know you loved me.” “I didn’t know you loved me.” 

Semi-protective behavior. 

Knuckle kisses that get progressively longer. 

Dreams shared in the darkness.

Working together—which means no productivity, basically. 

Playful arguments. 

Being able to resolve actual arguments because they both value the friendship too much.

“Take the bed.” “Not without you.” 

Stargazing, your head on their shoulder. 

Being there when things go bad with each other’s families. 

The “do you want to talk?” with pinched eyebrows. 

Knowing the exact shade of each other’s eyes from memory. 

Coffee trips in the middle of the day. 

Dropped off lunches. 

Random midnight snack runs. 

Nighttime road trips. 

A shared music taste and a bass that rocks the car, windows down. 

“Don’t replace me… please. I can’t lose you, too.” 

Straight-faced covering for them, even while they sneak out the backdoor behind you. 

Mutual shenanigans despite the consequences of said shenanigans. 

“Hey, what if we—” “No.” 

That first kiss that’s a tentative touch, then turns into a fervorous kiss, hands on shoulders, jaws, cheeks, squeezing their sides. 

Wanting to take their relationship slow. 

Each milestone meaning more than the last. 

Soft singing to put one another to sleep—perhaps a song that they’ve sang since childhood. 

Being ready to drop everything to go help them no matter what. 

Smiling when thinking about them [and being called out on it]. 

Objects that you have to get for them.

Board Game competition. 

Zipping up their dress, or tying their tie and fixing their cufflinks. 

Secret languages. 

“What are we?” “What do you want us to be?” 

Standing in front of them on the [train]. 

Memories that you can’t forget. 

Growing old with one another. 

Kids who they can’t decide which looks like who. 

The most outlandish anniversaries you can think of. 

“Happy That Time We Almost Died For the Second Time!” 

Communicating through simple expressions. 

And finally, the ability to trust utmost in one another. 

[kermwrites]

re8 hug headcanons

for the four lords, the dimitrescu daughters, and ethan winters

if u like these, send me some requests!!! I will love u forever

Alcina Dimitrescu

since she's so Large, the best hug you could give her is a hug on the leg, in which she'd reciprocate by placing a gentle hand on your back

though if she feels like putting more effort into it, she'll pick you up and hold you properly, a gentle lean against you with her head and a hand on your back with a light pat before setting you back down

maybe she'll give you a parting head pat too

she'll only hug you if she likes you though. otherwise she Will kick you and call you filthy

Dimitrescu Daughters

they all give you a big group hug that knocks you over immediately because they just throw themselves at you

if you DON'T fall though, they're all jumping and excited and squeezing the air outta you

if they're less energetic though, they're more gentle, still holding you tight but they lean their heads against you and get as close as they can

Donna & Angie

not too keen on touch so she's not very likely to hug anyone (other than angie of course) but if she especially likes you, she'll give you a very gentle hug, chin resting on your shoulder and arms wrapped loosely around your back. it doesn't last too long either, but it means a lot so you better appreciate it

don't hold her too tightly either, return her carefulness, and slowly settle into more tight hugs as she gets used to the affection, something she doesn't receive a lot

angie on the other hand will LATCH onto you, arms around your neck and dancing excitedly

she'll often join your and donna's hugs too, helps makes the both of you more relaxed in it

Salvatore Moreau

he's too nervous to ever initiate a hug himself, but the moment you give him one, he pauses for a moment and then gets all excited and hugs you so tightly, stomping happily and nuzzling close

he then gives you hugs more frequently, still very happy but not as overexcited as he was the first time

after a while he'll start thinking that maybe he's being a little annoying and backs off for a bit until you give him some reassurance, then he's happily clinging to you again

Karl Heisenberg

would never initiate a hug first, and the moment that you hug him he just. freezes. hesitantly returns it and is Very confused on why you'd do this. it'd be an awkward, one arm hovering over your back and the other giving an awkward pat kind of hug

if he's not close to you or isn't fond of you, he'll just shove you away aggressively, this man does not care for your wellbeing or if you go flying into a pile of scrap afterwards

but besides that, the more frequent the hugs become, the less awkward and tense it'll be. second time is a more proper arms-around-you hug, but still a bit tense. the hugs after that slowly evolve into proper ones, and after it clicks that you do it because you care and want to, he melts into them. arms wrapped tight around you, face buried in your shoulder/neck, and some weight put into you. he stays there for a moment, don't interrupt the silence, just let him relax for once

hugs after that are still meaningful but less emotional, he'll give tight side and proper hugs, squeezing you then ruffling your hair after you pull away. then there's still the ones where you just sit there a moment and enjoy the embrace

Ethan Winters

gives tight, arms fully wrapped around you, face buried in your shoulder types of hugs. lingers for a couple seconds more, too

not tight enough that he's squeezing the air outta you, but a comforting tight. gives squeezes sometimes too

also gives playful side hugs while ruffling your hair, but he'll fix it for you afterwards if you complain about it

god I don't want ethan's to be the shortest portion bc I love him a lot but there's rlly not much else to say here 😭

[kermwrites]

If I Can't Have You | Homelander

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

» Summary | She was the most aggravating being he had ever been around, and Homelander has dealt with a lot of irritation in his life. But how could someone be so annoying yet he couldn’t even get her off his mind?

❥ Pairing | Homelander x Reader

★ Word Count | 9.4k

» Warnings | slight degrading, negging, pinches of dacryphilia, possessive, manipulation, jealousy, slight fluff, idk what this is honestly. Homelander is not a "good guy", ya know?, Homelander POV

↳ AN | This has been a WIP for a long time. I started writing this a few months ago right after I watched season 1 so this does not follow any sort of storyline or season. It's just it's own thing.

*This has only glancingly been proofread so apologies for any errors!* Enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He watched her day after day since the moment she walked into the hallowed halls of Vought. Her hair pinned in a bun, perfectly neat without a strand out of place. Her pencil skirt always pressed and proper - and never above her knees. She scurried past people with eyes casted down as she hurried room to room with coffees in hand. And when she was asked for anything unplanned she lit up with an excitement and vitality not yet corrupted by the corporate world. 

She was new.

She was innocent. 

She was annoying. 

The very moment Ashley walked in with yet another intern Homelander’s eyes had already rolled halfway into his brain. Just another person to be cycled through the system under the guise of work experience and a hopeful job offer, only to end in a mental breakdown followed by complete disappearance to the industry. The time, the training, the niceties. It was a hassle, it was tiresome. Homelander had better things to do than play nice with the help. 

She introduced herself to The Seven - a sickeningly sweet tone dripping from behind her bright smile and full lips. She twiddled her fingers as she spoke, her thumb providing a physical comfort by rubbing the back of her hand raw. She gave the same bullshit spiel that every single one before her gave.

“I’m so excited to work with you.”

“You have always been such an inspiration to me.”

“I am always around, don’t be afraid to ask for anything.”

Homelander snorted. As if he could face the shit he had to on a daily basis but be afraid to ask some girl to pick up his dry cleaning. Her head whipped over to him, her doe eyes widening ever so slightly. She was nervous to begin with, he could hear her pulse from across the room. The possibility of starting with a bad impression was enough for her blood pressure to skyrocket as her complexion flushed. 

But Homelander was nothing if he didn’t know how to charm. 

“We’re only able to do what we do thanks to folks like you,” He forced out, accompanied with the rehearsed smile he knew dearly. “Welcome aboard.”

She gleamed at that. 

She’d lasted longer than the rest. Almost 2 months later and she still entered a room with that exuberant smile as she trailed behind like a shadow. She and Starlight became fast friends it seemed. Made sense. They both were the epitome of irritating naivety. However their friendship meant her presence became more and more frequent around The Seven. Not only to do what she was hired for but occasionally entering the meeting room just to talk. And she could talk forever, droning on and on. Laughing her pitiful little giggle at every single thing. 

Homelander could feel as his dull headache began the longer she stood around. Not to mention the nauseating smell of the sickly sweet perfume she wore every day that permeated the room for hours after so much as just walking by the open door. Sometimes he would still be able to smell it around him during the dead of night when he was alone. He couldn’t escape her even in his sleep, her sparkling eyes haunted his dreams. Baring into his soul like a siren. They were more like nightmares truly. 

Her eyes flicked over to him as a muffled groan sounded behind his gloved hand as it swept over his statuesque face. 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” He snapped, breaking his composure. “This is called a meeting room, I’d like to actually get the meeting over with.”

The girl stuttered for a moment attempting to grasp at any of the words that came to her mind. It wasn’t the first time the man had shown a side other than endearing patriotic hero seen on television but it truly was not something she had fully come to terms with. His shift in tone, the scorn behind his normally gallant eyes seemed out of place. 

The girl ducked her head, “Y-yes sir, I’m so sorry. Please let me know if there’s anything I can get for you.”

She didn’t understand why the Supe had developed such a distaste for her, but it became more and more obvious as time went on. At the start he was every bit the man she had truly admired, it was hard to hold back the admittance that he was always her favorite of The Seven. He spoke with clarity and assured authority. He was magnificent to see in action and with a smile and wink he was truly every bit America’s sweetheart. 

The facade seemed to slip away somewhere along the line, she couldn’t even be sure of when. It started with a simple cold shoulder - that one she could understand. She was just a lowly intern in the presence of universal marvels. The indifferent snub eventually became direct disdain. He would roll his eyes plainly when she approached him or walked away from her when she attempted to offer any service. And her obvious attempts to stay in his good graces only made him grit his teeth harder. 

But she always tried, surely he couldn’t just hate her. 

The nail in the coffin came only a few weeks later.

Press and PR was on the list of things Homelander hated the most. When things were too quiet in the city and there wasn’t pests to discard or bombs to defuse to make Vought look good, press was the way to keep in the people talking. Whether that was TED talks, morning radio, or the classic late night talk show- it all kept the news cycle turning.

Homelander could only be so lucky to do any one of those, but the universe seemed set on welcoming him into his own personalized circle of hell. In the effort to be more ‘accessible’ and ‘relatable’, Vought had set up rounds of internet influencers to have their chance at a one on one with America’s greatest hero.

Because nothing could be as meaningful as a Buzzfeed article or a Snapchat story. Or God forbid…a Tik Tok. 

And just to put the cherry on top of his day - his favorite intern was his sole wrangler for the whole ordeal. It was already expected by him to hear her accelerated heartbeat every time she popped into a room, but as she stood in the back behind the lights and cameras her hummingbird heartbeat was louder than any micro-celebrity that believed yelling equated to humor. Being her first time flying solo it was truly a test of her competence, no doubt a trial run before she would be considered for a more permanent position.

Great. 

She fiddled with the belt that hung off her jeans loud enough that Homelander could hear it as he spoke to the person across from him, his eyes twitching every time the metal prong clinked against the bar. He was glad that she didn’t wear the item of clothing all the time, her nervous habits would send him off the deep end if he had to hear it every day. Not to mention the way her tight jeans clung to her body, accentuating curves that she never let anyone know she possessed. 

Casual Friday. She never took part in it before - that day even allowing her hair to hang loose from the expected updo - she seemed to be getting more comfortable with her environment in recent days despite the deep breaths and the fidgets. But why did she have to pick that day of all days to suddenly switch up? Everything about her was disruptive. Homelander could hardly remember the questions being asked as she twirled her hair around her painted finger. Her eyes bore into him as he spoke, nodding along with whatever words spouted out of his mouth. As if it actually meant anything. Hell, he didn’t even know what he was saying aside from the various buzz words that were ingrained into his vocabulary.

 She brought a paper coffee cup up to her plush lips as she watched on. The same cup she had for the better half of the morning - lipstick stains building up along the lid. She almost never wore makeup but had conveniently opted for a look that was hard to look away from, highlighting her features in a way that was almost striking. Did she think she was getting on camera herself? Because she certainly seemed to be seeking attention. 

It was working and on more than just him. Homelander watched as she smiled against the cup as the interviewer cracked a few humiliating excuses for jokes. How could she find something so embarrassing be that amusing? It was almost degrading. Her eyes roamed over the interviewer speaking, a slight twinkle in them as something he said made her laugh audibly. The man looked over his shoulder at her with a smile as she held her hand over her mouth to stop the laughter. 

“I’m so sorry,” She giggled out, “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no!” The man interrupted her, his sly smile deepening, “I appreciate validation from pretty girls.”

A flush trailed up her neck as the man winked at her. Homelander cringed at the interaction unfolding before him. That’s what got a reaction out of her? The most cliche line ever formulated by a man? The words were fake and contrived, Homelander would know. Pretty girl? Now, he was no man of great manners, but he played one on TV. Even as a pick up line it was poor. The man could’ve tried harder. Beautiful, stunning, devastating woman. Something with more power, more intention.

Not that she was. But still.

“With that, I think that’s all I’ve got.” The interviewer stood up and held his hand out to shake with the Supe. “Thank you for your time and for everything you do for the country.” 

Homelander’s jaw ticked in irritation. That’s it? He didn’t even get to have a final word, he was almost positive he didn’t even get to plug the bullshit he was supposed to. All because this kid got distracted by some girl? She didn’t even have to be in the room, she would’ve been just as useful outside the room where she couldn’t bother anyone. 

Whatever, the interview was a waste of time to begin with. It was a mystery how this guy was even allowed to do media with how dull he was. No wonder he was kept online, no way he would handle the big leagues. 

“The pleasure is all mine,” Homelander responded, flipping a switch to his signature heroic smile. But he made no motion to shake hands, instead stooping down to grab the half empty water bottle at his feet and turning to the attention of the makeup artist on standby to touch him up before the next lowlife walked through the door. 

The man laughed awkwardly before dropping his hand and heading for the door without another word to the Supe. Homelander leaned back, shutting his eyes and letting out a deep sigh of agitation leave his body. He still had half the day to get through, hopefully with less eventfulness between. As he breathed back in the girl’s sweet perfume filled his lungs, recharging any anger that had left. It was like every part of her was handcrafted to permeate and irritate him. He needed to calm down if he was going to continue the rest of the day. There was only so much even he could take. 

A whimsical giggle rang through the room causing Homelander’s eyes to snap back open in a flash. He sat forward slightly, the soft brush of setting powder following him as he moved to see what could’ve possibly been happening now. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness behind the lights his eyes focused on the sad excuse of a man that should’ve been halfway out of the building by now. Instead he stood leaned against the wall next to the intern, his eyes wandering her up and down as he spoke in whispered tones. 

Homelander watched her smile up at the man, her lip caught between her teeth flirtatiously as she handed a phone over to him. Her eyes were lit with a delight he had never seen before, not even when she was standing in front of The Seven on her very first day. The man grabbed the phone from her hand, his fingers brushing against her skin purposefully and Homelander could feel his anger physically bubbling up in him. 

What the fuck. 

The kid wasted an opportunity to get his 5 seconds of fame with Homelander but had the attemptive gall to get the attention of his intern? And it was working? The girl had that little self-respect that she was excited for some nobody off the street to notice her? Of course, because that’s what she wanted. She got all dressed up and ready that morning in her tight jeans, her low-cut top, her hair tossed to the side because she lived for the attention. Because she couldn’t just do her job quietly and go home like everyone else. 

“We’ve got a pretty busy schedule, pal.” Homelander called out, his voice booming through the quiet room causing everyone to flinch at the disruption. 

The interviewer looked over to the Supe with fake smile and an even worse apology. He turned his attention to the girl once more with a wink before ducking out of the door quickly. What a disrespectful little rat. 

The girl looked over at Homelander, the smile wiped from her face and worry taking its place in the crease between her eyebrows. She knew that tone from the man and she knew he wasn’t happy. They locked eyes for a moment in the uncomfortable silence of the room.

“Everyone out,” Homelander ordered, his stare never left the girl, “I’d like to have a word.”

The production team and makeup artist all shared looks before slowly filing out, leaving the intern alone with the Supe behind closed doors. The girl swallowed audibly though her mouth suddenly grew dry as Homelander lifted himself off his chair and slowly approached her. 

“Homelander, I’m so-”

“Ah” He interrupted, an unsettling smile stretching across his face, “I said I wanted to have a word, didn’t I?”

Her brow furrowed deeper and her eyes grew soft, almost teary as she nodded. 

“What is your job here?” Homelander clasped his hands behind his back as he paced in front of the girl. She looked at him, unsure what to say - if he truly wanted her to say anything at all. His smile never ceased as he urged her, “Come on, I know you have a voice. I hear it every god damn day.” 

His tone and his face was every bit the charming hero that everyone loved, but behind his eyes and words there was something much more menacing.

 “I-I’m here to provide support to Vought employees and talent by way of any requests or tasks assigned.”

“And what are you assigned today?”

“I’m here to represent Vought’s PR. To make sure all goes on as designed, smoothly and without anything unexpected.”

“Represent Vought?” Homelander questioned, his head tilted curiously. She searched his eyes, it wasn’t the answer he wanted. “Last I checked you weren’t an employee at Vought, is that right?”

The girl stuttered, “W-well, no…but-”

“I’m the only one that has any tangible meaning to Vought here,” Homelander’s smile dropped and he approached the young intern, his body casting a looming dark shadow over her frame. “So let’s get one thing straight. You’re here representing me.”

“Yes sir, I’m really so sor-”

“Oh cut the bullshit.” She winced backwards at his harsh tone until her back hit the wall but he continued to advance on her. “You think you’re the first person to try and smile their way into a position? You think you’re special? That you actually provide anything?”

Homelander could see the tears welling up at that point, and it somehow looked better on her than the gleam she normally sported. The way it collected in the corner of her make-up covered eyes and lashes, the slight flush to her cheeks and nose as her vulnerability shone through. The girl wasn’t as iron-willed as she thought - truthfully it was the most appealing she’d ever been. 

“That little stunt you pulled with that guy, what was that about?” 

She shook her head in confusion as her head dropped towards the floor, “I…I don’t know what you mea-” 

“You just like feeling wanted, don’t you? By a guy, by a company, it doesn’t matter. You just need to feel some kind of assurance that you can’t give yourself. Because you feel useless otherwise, right?” Homelander asked, his voice dropping into mock sympathy. He brought his finger up to the girl’s face, his gloved knuckle dragging down her cheek and jaw until it settled underneath her chin. He forcefully lifted her head until she faced him once again. Her eyes were red as she held in the urge to openly cry. 

“You think he actually has any interest in you?” Homelander shook his head with a patronizing smile as he said her name softly. “You are useless. You’re an embarrassment. And I have a little advice for you...”

The girl tried to move her face out of the Supe’s grip as a tear finally slipped from her eye but his cement-like hold kept her still. His shoulder shook with a laugh, his thumb extending up to wipe away under her eye as he leaned in slowly to her face. Her heartbeat lept as he neared, her eyes shutting forcefully in anticipation, her tongue sweeping over her lips as they parted submissively. Homelander preened with complacency at her assumption and he was almost tempted to fulfill her expectations. But instead he leaned in further until his nose rested against her temple. He breathed in the sugary scent of her perfume and warm vanilla of her shampoo - his hot exhale trailing over her ear and down her neck. 

“Stay out of my way. Do that and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to flash your cute little Vought ID to the barista like a real employee.”

He dropped his hand from her face and in the blink of an eye he was feet away from her and headed back to his seat. She watched him in a state of shock and horror as he sat back down, as if nothing had even happened. Her lungs began to properly regulate her breathing as the room magically returned to its normal size and the claustrophobia subsided. 

“Thank God it’s Friday, am I right?” Homelander barked with laughter, the life and charm returning to his eyes and face as he fixed his microphone back in place nonchalantly. “Well, let’s get everyone back in here to get the show on the road!” 

She stared at him with hopeless confusion, as if questioning if the past 3 minutes occurred entirely in her own imagination. He looked back up at her but only gave her exactly what made her heart flutter mere moments ago from another - a wink and a smile. 

He didn’t see her again for the next week. He waited for her voice to enter through the door before herself - likely right before he conducted a meeting, interrupting and irritating him as usual - but she never showed. Every time he wanted something he looked around the halls, hoping to find the plucky intern to play fetch as she always insisted on doing but she was nowhere to be found. Her perfume even started fading from the rooms he normally felt suffocated in until he found himself wondering what the scent she wore even was. 

A part of him was let down that she turned out to be just like the others, always gone the moment it got a little hard. He felt that he could’ve been a lot worse than he had been, he merely offered a bit of life advice. She seemed so enamored by the new company she kept, it was hard to fathom that she’d give it up like that. He almost found himself wanting to casually ask Starlight about her new friend but he stopped himself, what was to gain from it? Probably a woe is me story of his given dose of reality.  

It was really too bad she was just as disappointing as he expected. 

By the following week he had almost pushed her out of his mind enough to no longer wonder or seek out her presence. No one so much as mentioned her through the days but he truthfully wasn’t sure if anyone even bothered to know or care as he did. But how could they not show curiosity? How could they not notice that her shrill voice was absent? 

And then he heard it. The melodic laughter that shot a pain straight to his temples as it echoed down the hallway. Homelander thought for just a moment that he may have been hearing things, even a Supe had their moments. But as the voice continued to float closer to the office he knew exactly whom it emitted from. 

He surprised himself with how quickly he shot out of his seat to peer around the door, but as he rounded the corner he was finally able to see the person he had spent the last week pondering over. Dressed back in her prim and proper pencil skirt, her hair held up by a thin band in a tight bun. And hanging from her neck…a Vought employee ID. 

Homelander huffed a short laugh, his eyes followed her approaching form as she walked closer and closer. The smile she always wore lit up her face as she spoke animatedly to the woman walking by her side wearing a matching ID. He had never seen the woman before, or if he had she wasn’t important enough to hold a memory of. 

The girl hadn’t noticed the Supe standing in the doorway until she turned her attention back forward. It was hard to not see the large man with his arms crossed over his chest, especially as his eyes all but burned both the surface of her skin and within. Figuratively and literally. As her gaze caught his own Homelander caught the slight falter in her step as her smile dropped until it disappeared altogether. 

“Well well well,” Homelander smiled and the girl noticeably cringed at the sound of his voice, “Looks like congratulations are in order.”

“Oh my god, you’re Homelander.” The insignificant woman next to them fawned, a twinkle of wonder in her eyes and excitement in her voice. Homelander didn’t even bother to look in her direction, his only focus being on the ex-intern in front of him. Though she hadn’t bothered to meet his stare, opting to keep her head ducked as he crossed in front of their path.

“Is that why you haven’t been around? What floor are you on now?” He asked, grabbing at the plastic ID on the end of the lanyard that hung loosely around her neck. She flinched at his movement impulsively. He read her name across the top of the card and looked over the picture that sat in the middle. Her bright eyes that normally shone innocence seemed to hold something deeper, a sharpness, a superiority that he’d never seen her express before. Homelander almost felt his own lip twitch upward at the notion. 

“I’m just grabbing some stuff that I left up here,” The girl said, an edge to her voice as she ripped the ID out of his grasp. “Excuse me.”

She stepped around the man to continue her walk down the hall, her hand firmly gripping the woman accompanying her - pulling her quickly by her forearm.

“You know Homelander?” The unknown woman whispered as she jogged to keep up with the girl’s pace. She only continued her retreat, her only reaction being a quick glance back to the man as held his spot. 

He watched, his jaw hung ajar as a million words threatened to spill from the tip of his tongue. She had expected him to follow, to hold her back, to say something. And he had wanted to, oh how he wanted to, but he held it in. At least vocally, mentally he was spewing a million thoughts a second. 

How dare she. Suddenly she thought she had any authority to ignore him? What happened to the helpful girl who only wanted to please? Couldn’t even have a pleasant conversation with someone she claimed to respect. Where did this backbone come from? When did she become so defiant?

All this time he spent wondering about her, thinking of her and this was how he was repaid? Embarrassing him in front of others? Ungrateful was just another trait he could add to his ever growing list of grievances. 

But why couldn’t he just let it go? 

She was moved to marketing on level 15 more than halfway down the building. Homelander had paid a visit to Ashley and was able to get the information he wanted from the very person who assigned her there. He also made sure to wring her out about shuffling people in and out, it caused disruption to the natural ecosystem of the company and his team. She looked at him in total bewilderment, he had never once cared about where an intern went or if he’d ever even see them again. In fact, most of the time he was in a more agreeable mood when they were gone. 

He watched her from afar, through floors, through walls. Watching as she shuffled from her desk to the water cooler or to get her own coffee, never once needing to serve others anymore. She was a hard worker, she spent hours at a time working on her own projects and those around her seemed to feed off her upbeat personality. The same personality that was almost like nails on a chalkboard to him. But every once in a while, out of boredom, Homelander would find himself tuning out the sounds around him to hone into that piercing voice or silvery laugh of hers. 

But she never ventured to the 99th level and Homelander wouldn’t be caught dead in any civilian department. Besides, why would he care to? 

They didn’t come face to face with each other again until months later. Vought’s annual kick-off event was an important one for the internal morale of the company. At the beginning of every fiscal year all employees were invited to the gala to partake in the provided cheap catering, the tone deaf DJ, and silent auction in the form of bulk electronics, bottles of wine, or tickets to a downtown tourist trap. It didn’t matter, the whole event would be a tax write-off anyway.

But the ultimate show of good faith was the chance to rub elbows with The Seven. They would walk around with smiles and handshakes, affirming with grace that they weren’t the real heroes at Vought. Sure, they were out saving lives and doing acts of god-like power but the Vought employees were the ‘real people making a change’. Everyone from the CEO right down to the janitors were all equally important and ‘fighting the real fight’. 

Homelander could feel the bile rising in his throat as the words spilled from his mouth time and time again. Being the leader of The Seven came with more annoyances than perks. He had shaken so many hands by the midway point that he was sure the leather of his gloves were worn out at the palm. And through that whole time he didn’t even see the one person he was sure would ring his ears the moment she walked in. 

He would never admit it but he took a hard glance around through people in search of her. Her hair probably pulled back though ditching the skirt and blazer. With a black tie event he wondered what she would look like in a formal dress. It was a toss up on whether she would be in something modest or something more form fitting. It was clear from the last time he had seen her out of the corporate uniform that she was certainly hiding underneath it. She had to be there, she was too proud of herself not too. He was almost surprised she didn’t use the event to have her own Cinderella moment as Vought’s newest darling employee.  

But as she didn’t turn up and with passing time Homelander continued his rounds between the peons. More photos, arms around the shoulder, and lying through his teeth. Though he was used to the charade, that night it seemed to be particularly grating. His eyes frequently darted from his conversations to the corners of the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of his ex-intern. Or even catching her wafting scent through the crowd of seeping cheap perfume and aftershave. 

A quarter of the way through Homelander started becoming irritated at his own agitation, he needed a moment alone to collect himself. He had made his way to the rooftop in an attempt to will himself the sanity to get through the night without letting his plastered smile fade away. Or worse. 

The cold night air that swept through the railing of the deck was a great relief. The terrace was secluded and quiet, not many people ever came to the spot as the wind was often too strong or too cold. He was also almost certain an access code was needed through the stairwell door but he never bothered himself with finding out. The mere moments it took for him to reach the top of the building from the ground did more to ease his mind than the lifetime in an elevator would. 

And just as always there was a certain beauty to the city from high above, especially after the sun had set and darkness took its place. The twinkling of lights bouncing between each building, acting as the city’s own form of stars in place of those that you would never see otherwise. There weren’t many things that Homelander found peace in but that was certainly one of them. 

He basked in the nighttime glow, allowing himself the second of peace and quiet before he would inevitably have to return to the crowded room until the tiring event was over. If only he had the power to speed up time. Homelander closed his eyes, filling his lungs deeply with the chilled night air and zoned his ears to the city streets below. The endless sound of traffic, music, idle chatter, and in the between the murmur of noise, sniffles and soft breaths. Loud. Louder than any noise on the ground level which could only mean that it was much closer than the rest. His focus turned to the shuddered whimpers originating behind him somewhere beyond the entryway. 

Normally he would have ignored it, been more ticked off that his area of peace was invaded rather than care for the reason for the pathetic cries, but curiosity got the best of him. He followed the emitting sounds around the roof until the sole proprietor came into view. A vision in a sleek glimmering dress, red faced with wetness trailing down her cheeks propped up against the sheet metal of the rooftop bulkhead. His little intern. 

Her hair gathered into a messy updo that sagged onto her shoulder as her quivering form shook it loose. Her makeup smudged around her eyes as she squeezed them shut in an attempt to stop the small cries from escaping her body. 

She hadn’t noticed Homelander, that much he knew. If she had there was no doubt she would have reacted noticeably. And if he was honest with himself, he would admit that he wasn’t sure what to do about that. His irritation dwindled to an awkward uncertainty of how to handle the situation that he was completely unprepared for. On one hand he was eager to say something, after all, he had been looking for her the entire night and this was a damn near perfect excuse. But on the other hand he could recognize the vulnerable state she was in and how unequipped he was to handle that. Both for her comfort and especially his own.  

He backed away slightly, his apprehension pulling harder in the game of tug of war in his mind. She would likely come back downstairs at some point, the party would still be going on for a while and there was no chance she’d pass up the chance to mingle. She was too driven to let that go. He may have had to extend the time he wanted to waste at the event, but he would if it meant he would find an opportunity to approach her. 

With his mind decided, he turned slightly to make his quiet retreat off the far side of the deck, though not without throwing a glance back over his shoulder one last time. His eyes landed back on the girl as she crumpled inwards even further, a sob wracking through her body. Her arms had crossed around her torso, her hands grabbing at her bicep and waist to hug herself tightly for any sense of comfort. 

His motion to leave had faltered. What could have possibly happened to make his normally bright and spirited intern so visibly distraught? Even his personal shake down didn’t get this reaction from her. 

The back and forth struggle reared in the Supe’s mind once again. He should leave her, let her gather herself back together at her own pace alone like she clearly intended. She had been up on the roof top seeking the same refuge and space that he had, he could choose to respect that. But truthfully, he didn’t want to. He was uncomfortable, he knew that there was little comfort he could give or even wanted to give, but he was also curious. He could almost feel an ounce of anger rising in his veins.

Who had done this to her? 

Homelander took a breath and shuffled closer to the girl, his feet dragging audibly against the slab roof. He was never one to drag his feet though in a quick moment of decision it seemed better to warn the girl of his presence rather than calling out. And his plan worked, with a slight jump in her shoulders the girl’s watery gaze whipped up quickly to meet his approach. She recognized him rapidly, his stark blue suit bright against the night sky and the flagged cape around his shoulders whipping in the winds. She turned her head quickly in the opposite direction, a hand moving to cover her mouth and control her breathing though she knew as well as anybody that there was little that could get past Homelander’s senses. 

“I came up here to be alone,” She said loudly, her voice wavering with the cry that was still caught in her throat. 

“I would say the same but it’s a little hard to find peace and quiet when there’s wailing in the background,” He threw out without a thought. The girl’s head dropped until her chin hit her chest, her shoulder shaking again as new tears fell to her lap. Shit. Homelander shook his head, even when his intentions were halfway positive he couldn’t manage to hold himself back. Just a reminder of why he shouldn’t genuinely try to comfort anyone.

Should he stop? Should he go back downstairs to mind his own business? But his mind would still be on the roof with her, he knew that. He wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about what was happening before him. Then he should apologize…right?

“I-..I’m sorry,” He forced, in his hushed tone it almost sounded genuine. She didn’t bother to look up and certainly not back at him - she didn’t make a move at all. But she didn’t tell him to leave again either and that was enough for him to feel okay with his move towards her. He stood next to her for a moment, glancing down as she continued to curl into herself. There was nothing to be said between them as she cried out whatever was going through her mind, but it eased his mind to be by her through it. And even more as he sat next to her and she didn’t shy away. 

The sheet metal against their backs was cold, even Homelander could feel the discomfort through his suit, but a steady warmth radiated off her body that made the cool night a little more bearable. He looked over at her bare arms and exposed back, trailing the goosebumps that spread across her soft skin where the fabric did not reach. It was clear the temperature was far from a worry in her mind, though it was a wonder if it was also a cause for the tremble through her body. 

Homelander reached his hands around his neck until his fingertips hit the clasps that held his cape to shoulders and collar. He pulled the long piece of patriotic fabric over his back as it came undone in a heap on his lap. 

“Here,” He held out the bunch towards the girl to little reaction. She didn’t look over or even so much as move to see what his offering was. With a sigh he took the liberty to throw the cape over her form, draping it across her shoulders and down her back. She could’ve at least been grateful that he was even trying to be a nice guy.

He waited for a moment for a reaction, a regard of any kind but couldn’t say he was shocked when acknowledgement didn’t come. But as he finally looked back out toward the skyline he caught in the corner of his eye as she moved her hands down to wrap the cape closer around her shivering body. And that was enough for him.  

They sat together in a silence, neither of them pushing a conversation or advancement past their physical presence. It was an odd comfort that neither of them would fess to.

The girl’s cries slowed down being replaced by soft sniffles and sighs. The shake in her body ceased until all was still around them. The sounds were replaced by that all too familiar chaos emanating from street level. Until she finally spoke.

“Why are you still here?” She asked. There was a touch of curtness in her tone though true malice was absent. 

“Why are you crying?”

“Full offense Homelander, what’s it to you?” She shot back. The vitriol in her voice shot surprise through his system, but before he could say anything back she was already speaking again, “You are probably the last person in this entire building to be asking about how I’m feeling. For months you have done nothing besides ridicule me behind my back, roll your eyes at my help, and I don’t even think I have to remind you of the last time we actually worked together. I’m sorry, but I also don't think I need to explain why I’m less than open to expressing my feelings to you.”

She spouted so fast that it took longer for Homelander to even catch all of her words let alone process them. But there were two things he was able to note as she went off and neither had to do with the actual substance of her words. She wouldn’t meet his eye, she stared off into the brightly lit windows of the office building across from them. Her voice wavered as it all poured from her lips, but her confidence was only as strong as her lack of contact. And though her words contained the weight she held in for such a long time, she still couldn’t help but apologize for even saying them. 

That was the girl he knew, the ever people pleaser. 

“I get that,” He replied calmly, as if none of what she said had bothered him at all being that he only caught half of it. She finally looked over to him feeling that his eyes never left her. She searched his face for anything more, any indication that this was an elaborate way for him to hold something over her or if there was an inkling of sincerity in the man. He had never been so agreeable, but there was nothing there to tell her of any ulterior motives. Still, how could she trust that?

“Why are you here, Homelander?” She urged, looking away again. 

He looked over the city with her as he contemplated his answer. Because he was nosy, was that the right answer? It was half the truth. Because he found it more entertaining than what was going on downstairs? That didn’t exactly feel right either. Why was he there? 

“I have nothing better to do,” it was the least he could give her. The least he could make sense of.

She snorted softly, an ounce of a smile ticking up at the corner of her mouth. The statement wasn’t meant to be a joke but her reaction stirred something inside of the man to her side. “There’s an entire party downstairs full of people wanting to be with you.”

“And you think I would rather be in the middle of them?” He spoke honestly, more honest than he’d ever be normally but he could help but have it slip.

She barked a loud laugh, “A chance for people to fawn and admire you? Seems right up your alley honestly.” 

He deserved that one, he knew it. “Believe it or not, I’m not really the biggest ‘fan’ of people.”

“Oh trust me, I believe it,” she scoffed with a sarcastic sneer. She’d been on the receiving end of that very attitude. She learned that the hard way yet still had the respect to keep a smile on her face and her chin up. That’s what rubbed Homelander in such a way when it came to her. She wasn’t just like everybody else, she didn’t comply or shy away. Her case was separate from all others.

“It’s different. You’re different,” He admitted, whether that was good or bad was up for debate between the both of them. He caught the subtle way her body stiffened at his words, but before either of them could think too hard on it he spoke again,  “But that doesn’t matter, this isn’t about me. Tell me why you’re up here crying. Shouldn’t you be brown-nosing with upper management or something?” 

Her shoulders slacked at his tone and words as it returned back to the man she had come to know. Homelander turned his head towards her as his ears caught a sigh of surrender left her, “If I tell you then can we call a truce between us? I’m tired of walking on eggshells.”

He hardly felt a truce was what was needed between them but nonetheless he found himself nodding her along. Another deep sigh left her body as she moved backwards to slump against the wall, her hands gripping his cape tighter to her.

“You were right.” 

He waited for her to continue, his eyes roaming over her form as she still refused to look at him. But as he waited and searched for an explanation, he felt his patience waning.

“Is that it?” He asked with a huff, “That’s not news to anyone.”

The girl laughed softly. A real laugh that lit up her face despite the sparkling of tears left pooling at her eyes. Her smile gleamed the same way he recalled in his memories as they replayed through his nights, too bright and unfeigned. Though in place of the normal annoyance he had felt seeing in the past, a warm comfort hugged his chest. 

“Sorry, I know that wasn’t meant to be funny,” she shook her head and paused for a moment. Her brow furrowed ever so slightly in the silence. The crease in her forehead accentuated the words that were stirring in her mind. Her hesitation was clear but Homelander kept himself silent until she found exactly what she wanted to say, he was curious. 

“You’re kind of an asshole, you know that right?”

The man’s expression wiped from his normally prideful face. Maybe it was the setting, maybe it was her emotions that were already shot, but it seemed her normal respectful and reserved manner had disappeared. Her honesty and lack of care had taken him aback and made him even more interested in what else she had held back, what other thoughts floated in her head, how could he know more? Her hands moved down her form until they rested on her lap, the cape hanging loosely over her bare shoulders. She calmed herself before speaking again, seemingly relaxed further that Homelander hadn’t come back at her with anything to tense the air any further, which was truly the real shock.

“Tripp never actually had any interest in me.”

Homelander thought for a moment, her words hanging between them. Who? The girl looked over to the Supe sitting next to her when no rebuttal came or even a move to respond. For the very first time in her presence, the man looked genuinely confused. Not even an attempt to appear knowing. 

“The guy back during your press round. The one before you…you know.”

Oh.

“The shitty interviewer?” Homelander absolutely never even bothered to know his name. Figured it would be something equally as inept as him. He seethed that you were on a first name basis with the little shit.

“We had been seeing each other since then, I should’ve seen the red flags every time he asked if he could come by the office but I just thought it was sweet. Maybe he wanted to see me so much that he couldn’t wait. But with me being new I always told him it wasn’t a good idea.” She sighed and swiped her hand across her cheek, embarrassment creeping through as she continued, “This morning I invited him to come with me tonight and he seemed excited, asked about the chances of me introducing him to the rest of The Seven. I told him it would be hard because I don’t work with any of you anymore.”

She shook her head, the glistening in her eyes returning as a pitiful laugh escaped her body, “Long story short, once he knew that then all bets were off. Told me if I couldn’t get him closer to you all then there was nothing in it for him. That I was useless to him.”

The girl pulled her legs closer to her body as fresh tears slipped down her blushed cheeks. Soft sniffles came from behind her crossed arms as she hid her face between them. 

Homelander’s jaw clenched. He knew that guy was nothing but a prick, how could she be so naive to put investment into something like that? There was absolutely nothing that guy could’ve offered her that would’ve been worth anything. She was supposed to be smart. 

“You said it best, anyways” she continued quickly, “For once I wanted to feel…wanted, I guess. I’m new to this city, to this job, I feel like I’ve done nothing but mess things up since I’ve been here. Everyone ignored me. A-Train called me stupid the minute I messed up his coffee order and you…you hated me the minute I walked into the room! I came off so badly that Starlight had to give me pep talks in the bathroom. But I still tried and nothing ever got better. Then after the incident with you, Homelander, I was done.”

She was blubbering now, her feelings all resurfacing with each word she choked out through tears, “I was going to quit. You were right, I was useless and it was embarrassing the people I admired so much thought I was annoying . And then when you had me moved, honestly there was a part of me that only took it because I wanted to prove you wrong. But really I was just trying to find that reassurance that I was capable of something. Anything.”

Homelander sat, his mouth slightly agape at the words that poured from her body. She hugged her legs tightly against her chest as sobs filtered into the night. There was a lot more behind that bright smile then met the eye, that was for sure. His words and attitude were meant to disrupt her, every snide remark or glare was truly from the depths of his irked soul. But hearing their effect didn’t bring him the sanctimonious delight that he wanted. The pressure built on the girl until she was inches from breaking, that’s what he wanted, wasn’t it?

“Wait,” Homelander said, “I didn't have you moved.”

“What?”

He shook his head, leaning his elbows onto his knees as he recalled her words, “I never asked for you to be moved. You thought I would help you get a job? After everything I said?”

She wiped the tears from her face, “I thought you just wanted to get rid of me, honestly.”

He huffed a laugh, “If I wanted to get rid of you then you wouldn’t be around anymore. At all.”

That was true, it wouldn’t have even been questioned if he asked that. But despite how much the girl stirred irritation within him, he never thought to get rid of her before her time. If possible it felt this time he may have actually done the opposite of what he really wanted. He may have pushed too far. The days gone by without her around agitated him more than when she was constantly badgering around the conference room. Not knowing where she was, what she was doing, who she was with, what she was thinking. He wanted to know more. He wanted her around more.

He wanted her. 

“I guess I should be grateful then.” She pulled the cape off her shoulder, exposing her back to the night chill once again as she folded it against her lap. Homelander’s eyes dragged down her body without a thought, he had forgotten the jeweled gown that hung off her body. It glittered under the moonlight just like the remaining tears that lay unfallen in her eyelashes, complimenting each other. 

“But anyway, you asked why I was up here so there you go.” 

That’s right. The reason for the tears. Because someone thought that they could break her down and throw her away as if it were nothing. As if there were no consequences because she was just too nice, too wide eyed. Funny thing about repercussions, you never know where they could come from. 

“Who cares what that prick thinks anyway?”  

“You think the same thing, “ she let out a breathy laugh, “you might be more alike than you realize.”

Well that was obviously not true, Homelander thought. That asshole was just a guy, nothing like him at all. He was different. That’s what he wanted to say, but for once he mulled over his words before he spoke. He craved this interaction with her, just the two of them, her walls down and open. He couldn’t have her shut him off, not again.

 “Listen, I've been a dick, I know. You’re capable, you said it yourself. You’ve already proved it.”

She stopped tracing the finely stitched stripes over the cape to look over at him, her expression showing disbelief at what her ears were hearing. “Wow, that was actually sort of nice, Homelander”

Homelander searched her face for a moment, “call me John.”

“What?” “My name is John” He repeated. He pushed and tested the water further, how far could he get before she pulled away from him again? His hand slowly reached to rest over the vibrant red and white of his cape that lay over her thigh. “You don’t need some asshole to tell you that you’re anything. You’ve got friends at Vought, people like you in your office, you've got friends, and some great ideas you’re working on.”

She stared down at his hand touching her over the layers of fabric between them. How would he know all that? He was never around to see how she interacted and certainly none of her ideas or meetings ever got back to him, why would they? Though despite the implications, his words were strangely but heartwarming. 

“You know all that?” She asked, looking back up to meet his gaze. He nodded only to stop abruptly when he realized his slip. He had been watching her, his keen superpowers coming in handy it seemed. If she knew that there was no way she would ever speak to him again, he fucked up even when he was trying not to. But despite his certain thoughts, a small smirk appeared on the girl’s lips. Her hand rounded her side and rested gently over the Supe’s gloved one that still lay gently over her leg. Her fingers slowly wrapped around in a firm squeeze. A friendly gesture that was certainly not expected. 

“Thank you,” she spoke. “Listen, I know you have a lot of pressure on you, more than I can imagine. I get why you are the way you are, even if it’s off putting. So, John, want to spill some feelings on me? Seems like a good start to a friendship here.”

For once he liked the way his name sounded on someone else’s lips. On her painted, glossed lips. It made him feel more important than any headline could. 

“I dont know if I would go that far,” he laughed authentically for the first time in a long time. A new flush form on the girl’s face. This time not one of embarrassment or sadness. 

“You know you’re not so bad when you let people actually have a conversation with you. I actually really liked this, thank you”  They sat there for a moment, hands still in each other's grasp, basking in the feeling of whatever new union was between them and all the unspoken thoughts of what it meant or what it didn’t. The only things that were certain was that Homelander wasn’t going to let her far out of his sight from now on and anyone who wronged her would be thoroughly dealt with. One before the end of that very night. 

The girl took in a deep breath next to him before standing slowly, her dress cascading down her legs as she let go of Homelander’s hand, “We should get back.”  

His eyes watched her as she wiped any makeup that may have smudged out of place and fixed her hair until it sat perfectly at the crown of her head. That sugary scent of her perfume caught in the wind and wafted over him, filling him with craving instead of agitation. But that would have to wait. “I’ll be down in a minute.” 

She looked down at him, a smidge of worry wrinkling between her brow, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just want another second before shaking a hundred more hands,” he smiled at her. It was a familiar smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, one that simmered something else behind it. But as he moved to tuck a wayward hair behind her ear, ease filled her veins. Whatever was on his mind was for him alone.

“Fair enough, I don't envy you,” she admitted, sharing a smile back. Though hers much more genuine as she looked over the Supe, “I’ll find you in there later for a picture of my own.”

Homelander listened to her giggle at her own joke as she turned to make her way back towards the staircase to rejoin the party downstairs. They shared one last look over her shoulder until she descended and disappeared below his view. His smile disappeared immediately without her presence. He had one thing to take care of before he could attempt to enjoy any part of his evening with his newly kindled whatever. 

There wasn’t a chance he would let someone hurt what was his and he would make sure that was known to anyone that dared.

[kermwrites]

Fast Food and Confessions (Copia x GN! Reader FLUFF)

"(Y/N), could you come in here for a moment." You hear Copia call from his office. You stand up, adjusting your clothes slightly before heading in to see what he needed. You had been working as Copia's assistant for a while now, being brought on to help with all of the paper work and organization since Copia had become Papa. Copia's face lights up as you poke your head in the doorway. "Would you mind doing me a favor? I have to go have a meeting with Primo, Secundo, and Terzo, would you be able to stamp and file these for me? I'd like to get this done so we can both enjoy the rest of our evening."

You nod and smile, "of course Papa, I'll try to have these done by the time you come back." He stands and motions for you to sit at his desk.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll be back as soon as possible." He gives you a small wave as he heads out the door, leaving you by yourself in his office. Filing away the paper work you were left with was easy enough. Most of it were simply ritual notes, letters from Sister Imperator, paper work for things that had gotten repaired around the Abbey. You had no idea how Copia ever kept up with all of this. This was just the little bit of paper work he was left over with, you couldn't imagine how much he had started the day with. The longer you sat in the dimly lit office the more you could feel your eyes trying to slip shut. Copia had been gone for a couple hours, you were sure he would be back to dismiss you anytime now. You stamped and sorted each paper one by one on the desk in front of you, his office smelled of sweet and musky incense and the subtle scent of Copia's cologne mixed in. His office chair perfectly conformed around your body, you could feel yourself sinking into it the more tired you got. 'I guess it wouldn't hurt to put my head down for a moment.' You thought to yourself. You crossed your arms and rested your head on them, at some point you ended up falling asleep. What felt like mere seconds later you were jolted awake by someone's hand coming to rest gently on your shoulder. Your eyes shot open only to come face to face with a concerned looking Copia.

"Papa, I am so sorry!" You immediately began apologizing. You hadn't meant to fall asleep on the job. You used to get in trouble all the time for falling asleep in your lessons, you couldn't believe you had done this in Copia's office of all places.

"(Y/N), relax, it's alright. I'm sorry that took so long, you didn't need to stay here so late." You rubbed your hand down your face, unsure how long you were asleep. You looked at the clock on the desk, it was a  little past 10:30, you had been asleep for almost four hours. "I didn't expect the meeting to go on that long." Papa kneels at your side, speaking softly so he wouldn't startle you anymore than he already had. He looked at all the paperwork you completed. "I take it you didn't make time to eat?" You shook your head in response. "Well, come on, there's bound to be some place to get food if we drive into the city." Copia stands, grabbing his coat off of the rack that sat by his office door. You stared at him in a state of both confusion and disbelief.

"Papa, you really don't have to worry about-"

"Nonsense! It's my fault I didn't get back until late. Plus it would be my absolute pleasure to treat you to dinner." You couldn't help but notice that Copia seemed unusually stiff and maybe even a bit embarrassed. You stood slowly, you could feel his eyes on even the slightest shift in your movements.

"Let me just go grab my coat." Copia held the door open for you, allowing you a moment to collect your things before the two of you made your way down to his car. He drove a beautiful, black, vintage mustang. The leather of the bench seat inside was gently worn, the entire vehicle impeccably clean. You marveled like a kid in a candy store at all of the details in the interior, you look up to see Copia smiling at you.

"You're a fan of vintage cars, sì?" You nod. "Well, it's nice to know you and I have something in common." He swiftly started the car, both of you rolling down your windows before taking off into the night. It was a relatively warm evening, but with the wind whipping into the car you were glad you brought your jacket with you. You couldn't help but smile as you watched the street lights race by.

"Papa, would it be okay if I put on some music?" You ask quietly. You sat in silence with Copia all the time, but, right now the two of you not talking on this drive was leaving a nervous tightness in your chest.

"Not at all my dear, put on whatever you like." You slid to the middle of the car so you could click on the radio, a tape deck loading in the cars cassette player. "That's a tape of songs from Ghost." He explains.

"Perfect." You give him a small smile. You didn't move from your position in the middle of the seat, every so often the sway from taking a turn causing you to press into Copia's shoulder for a brief moment. Copia clears his throat, you notice him glance at you from the corner of his eye. He lets out a long sigh, one of his hands leaving the wheel so he could wrap his arm around your shoulder. Your face felt like it was on fire, you could only imagine how much you were blushing. You snuggle into his side, the warmth from his body a welcomed difference to the brisk night air. You allowed your head to lull to the side, coming to rest on Copia's shoulder. It was nice to be able to be around Copia outside of work hours, you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been looking for an excuse to spend more time with him.

"This is... alright for you?" Copia finally says after a few moments. His arm already slightly lifting from your shoulder just in case you were uncomfortable.

"This is wonderful Copia." He glances at you for a brief second, allowing you to lock eyes as you smiled at each other.

"I like how it sounds when you say my name." You nuzzled your face against him slightly, embarrassed by his compliment. After driving for a while you eventually ended up at some generic burger and fries based fast food joint. You were barely on the edge of the city, the beacon in the night of the rest stop buzzing as you sat waiting for your food. You were about a half hour drive from the Abbey, nothing but empty highway to accompany yours and Copia's ride back home. He put the radio back on before his arm returned to your shoulders. "(Y/N)?" You hum in response to show you'e listening. "I feel like I don't tell you enough how much I appreciate having you around. If it wasn't for the fact that I get to see you every day I probably would have given up by now." You glance up at him, leaning forward slightly to place a light, gentle kiss on his cheek. 

"I'm really happy that I get to spend time with you Copia." You took his hand that was resting on your shoulder and laces his fingers with yours. Suddenly there was a loud band and the car jolted off to one side. Copia managed to get the car off the road to a little pull off on the side of the highway. He gets out of the car, walking around to the back, you hear him curse under his breath before getting back inside.

"Pardon my reach my dear." Copia says as he leans across your lap to reach in the glove box. He pulled out a call phone, quickly dialing the Abbey so they could get in contact with a towing company. "We have to wait for the tow truck to show up, they're going to bring us and the car back to the Abbey." He looked a bit defeated, "Sorry this turned into such a mess." He chuckles a bit.

"Copia, I'm still just happy that I get to spend time with you." You held up the bag from the rest stop. "We still have dinner." Copia laughs, taking a hold of your hand.

"Come here, I have an idea." You stuck close to him as he walked around to the trunk. You finally got to see that one of the back tires had blown out. Copia produced a blanket from the trunk, heading back around to the front of the car where he promptly set it down, giving you both a space to sit down. He held you by the waist, lifting you up so you were now sitting on the hood. "There is nothing better than being able to look at the stars, sì?" He was right, the sky was absolutely beautiful. The two of you sat and talked while you ate your food. Copia made you genuinely laugh. He was funny, kind, concerned only with making sure you were having a good time, neither of you wanting this night to end. You both laid back on the hood of the car, looking up into the night sky, the radio still playing quietly in the background. "(Y/N), can I make a confession."

"My Papa, confessing to me? What an interesting turn of events." The two of you laugh. You turn your body to face him, taking his hands in yours. "You can tell me anything Copia."

"When I first became Papa, I asked for you specifically to be my assistant." You shot him a quizzical look. "I've been trying to find the right time, the right way to confess my feelings for you for years. Even before I became Papa, when I was still Cardinal Copia, you did nothing but try to support me." You smile, you remember those times fondly. Copia used to be so anxious, about everything. You had always known that he was going to be an amazing Papa, you couldn't have been happier that you had been there through everything as he adjusted to this new role. The Copia that sat before you now was no longer the scared, adorable Cardinal you had originally fallen for. No, the Copia that sat before you now was the confident, charismatic man that you had witnessed transform before your very eyes. "This is going to sound ridiculous but I even went as far as trying to get advice from Terzo." Copia gently squeezes your hands. "I know this sounds crazy, and we never have to talk about this again if you don't feel the same. But, (Y/N), you would make me the happiest man alive if you would be mine."

"Copia, I would love to be all yours, but what if you get in trouble with Sister Imperator?" He smiled at you in response to your concern.

"(Y/N), my dear, you are worth the trouble." You look away shyly, his compliments getting you flustered very easily. The wind suddenly picked up, making you shiver. "Would you like to go back in the car?" You nod, Copia helping you down from the hood, the two of sliding back into the front seat. Copia pulled you close to him, you body instantly falling into place against his. You wish you could stay in his arms forever, but you were genuinely concerned about what would happen if Sister Imperator found out. But, for right now, none of that mattered. You wanted to make the most of the time you would have with Copia. You glanced up at him, placing a gentle hand on his face to turn his attention towards you. "What is it my dear?"

"Copia," your voice was thick in your throat, you knew once you did this there was no turning back. "please... kiss me." You watched Copia's eyes widen for just a moment before he tightened his grip on you, his lips crashing into yours. Every single inhibition you had up until this point melted away as he kissed you. You let out a satisfied hum as his arm snaked around your waist, effortlessly pulling you into his lap. You separated with a small gasp, both of you left breathless. He smiled at you, resting his hand on the side of your face.

"You are so beautiful."  He says softly, looking at you with nothing short of adoration. You place another gentle kiss on his lips. You had never seen him look so happy. He rubbed his thumbs soothingly against your sides, your forehead resting against his as you sat in a comfortable silence.

"I knew you were going to be trouble." He shoots you a quizzical look. "How am I going to be able to resist kissing you while you're working?"

He chuckles, placing a few kisses on your face before continuing. "I guess I'll just have to get my work done faster." Both of your attention was caught by headlights pulling up next to you,it was the tow truck. Copia lets out a displeased huff, "of course, right as we're getting comfortable." You smiled slyly, leaning down next to Copia's ear.

"You know, no one would notice if I don't come back to my dorm." You whisper in his ear. He clears his throat, trying to hide how flustered you had just gotten him.

"Right, well in that case, we better let this man get to work." You can't help but laugh at how lively he had gotten at that statement alone. Copia explained what had happened to the two truck driver, all the while keeping you close to his side. You found yourself involentarily falling asleep as you drove back to the Abbey. By the time you had gotten back Copia had noticed you had fallen asleep clinging to his arm. He paid the tow truck driver, scooped you up in his arms, and brought you back to his quarters. "Goodnight my love." He says to your sleeping form, placing one final kiss to your forehead before falling asleep next to you, excited to see where things would head between the two of you.

(A/N: Ah! I'm sorry how abruptly this one ends, I'm still working on my endings. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you like it!)

[kermwrites]

the elusive 7 act Structure

[kermwrites]

After Party

Pairing: The papa of your choosing x fem!reader

SFW - just mouth to mouth :)

Word count: 1150

You see your ex at an after-ritual party and decide to make him jealous by kissing a stranger - only you find out the best kiss you've ever had was from your superior, your Papa.

The ritual had gone spectacular - the ghouls were perfect, and Papa was, of course, sensational. The night was amazing in every way - though being a Sister requires a certain dedication during the tour. For every ritual, per Sister Imperator’s request, you wait on the side of the stage, holding all the water and necessities needed for the performers. You had no problem with that - your relationships with the ghouls and Papa have only grown, and you have become one of the band’s closest confidants; allowed in practice sessions, pre-ritual gatherings, and, more than anything, you’ve evolved into a friend. 

You’re loved by everyone and are proud to say Dew is your best friend, and you, his. However, not many receive the honor you do of being so close to Papa. You both share flirty remarks back and forth and help him set up his costumes before shows. In fact, not so long ago he asked you to help deliver a sermon, one portraying the importance of dedication and honor.

Nevertheless, because of your position in the wings of the stage, you’ve never watched a ritual from the audience. 

The thought lingers in your mind as the after-party music rumbles around you, drunk ghouls and siblings roaring to the beat. 

Usually, on these nights, you’re among the crowd, dancing in the flashing lights of Papa Nihil’s unused home. Well, used for afterparties. But tonight, your confidence has dropped slightly, the reason still a mystery to you. 

However, you spot Sodo, dancing up close to a Sister you’ve never seen before, clearly hoping to get lucky. His released tail wraps around your sibling’s waist, and you laugh at his desperation. Immediately after, he returns your gaze and tries catching your attention from his spot on the dance floor. 

He yells your name over the booming music, resulting in a quick glance from you. He motions you over, letting go of the girl who claimed his previous interest. You set your drink on the table beside you and walk over to the crowd of people in the middle of the room.

“What are you doing over there by yourself?”

His dance moves don’t falter, and you feel awkward standing still among the moving mass. You sway to the rhythm of the music, letting loose of your strange hesitance.

“Just tired, I guess.”

“Don’t be lame, you’re ruining my vibe. Here, take a sip.”

He hands you his pinkish-red drink, and you reluctantly take a quick drink. As you swallow, the liquid burns your throat, a taste unlike anything you’ve had before. You gag, coughing up whatever was left in your taste buds. 

“That’s disgusting, Sodo!”

He laughs so hard he bends over, his breath getting away from him. 

“Come on, let’s go to the front,” he yells, rushing through the people faster than you can follow. Trying to find your way back to him, you cut through the hundreds of people in your path, eventually getting to the middle of the room, and the center of the chaos. Sighing, you see a familiar face - your ex-boyfriend, Tav, only a few feet away, dancing with one of your Sisters. 

Your shock causes you to freeze, staring at the man who took so much of your life and flushed it down the drain as if it were nothing. You must have been looking for too long, his eyes flash up to meet yours, and time stops. Internally, you freak out, trying to decide whether to run away or slap him. Ultimately, in an act of foolishness, you choose to make him jealous. You decide to around to whoever lay behind you, and no matter what, you were going to kiss them. As time resumed, you spun as swiftly yet quickly as you could, grabbed the jaw of the person closest to you, and crashed your lips into theirs. 

You brought your hands up to cup their face, kissing them as passionately as you could. You can apologize later, but you want to avoid the inclosing thought of your ex seeing you distraught and alone - and this, stranger, getting the biggest shock of their life. The kiss at least has to be the best they’ve ever had in order to compensate, right? 

You slip your tongue into their mouth after their initial surprise, trying to stand as high as you can to reach them. 

The faint taste of alcohol is brought into your senses, just as fast as the stranger wraps their hands in your hair, gripping your head back to fully engross your lips. 

The kiss is the best you’ve ever had, them working your mouth as no one has before. They sink their tongue into yours, all the while running their hands from your hair to your back, pulling you closer. Everything around you fades, the music never even processing in your mind. You feel hungry like never before, yearning for more of whoever this is. You forget your ex standing behind you and you wrap your arms around the neck of your victim, the two of you becoming as close as possible. You refuse to open your eyes, scared to let the moment of heat go, so you pull on the collar of their shirt, pulling them down to your height. 

You bite the bottom of their lip slightly, not enough to hurt them, and crash your chest into theirs. They pick you up so you’re straddling their waist, and groan ever so quietly. The sound of your name erupts from their throat, and you pull back in astonishment, opening your eyes suddenly. 

The black paint is the first thing you register, then their full face. The smeared makeup of Papa is underneath your lips, gasping for air while you do the same. 

You drop from his arms, wiping the excess paint off your lips instinctively. 

“Papa, I-” regaining your consciousness, you look around, finding everyone else still jumping to the booming metal and flashing rays of the party. The energy does not help your embarrassment, though the flashing colors help cover the blush of your cheeks. 

“My my, I didn’t know you had that in you, mia cara.”

You nod, looking around in annoyance at your own stupidity. This could jeopardize your label as a Sister, let alone your relationship with the band…with Papa.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

He gazes down at you, a wild smirk on his face.

“No, no apologies. I should apologize, Sister, for I’m afraid you’ve caught me off guard. I would’ve acted sooner had I known your true feelings.”

Snapping your head to look back at him, he gathers your hands and kisses them before placing your chin in his grip. Tilting your gaze to stare into his, he leans forward, pressing his lips to your ear.

“Though I won’t apologize for marking you tonight, Sister. Everyone should know you’re mine.”