knightowl-studios

[knightowl-studios]

Quick n dirty reference of Lady, one of my favorite Flight Rising dragons. Still not super happy with the wings, but it's better to be iffy and finished than eternally stuck in limbo, and I was happy enough with the rest to fill in the gaps XD

[knightowl-studios]

Idolatry

Impatient chidings, corralling passes, Small things they are, just human lapses… It doesn't matter, it's no big deal, They know best and wounds will heal; Besides… Your conscience cracks a scalding whip: You log your faults, your sinking ship, Your role in things, you can’t acquit; So into knots you twist and turn - Block the lashes, tank the hits - Just take enough and solace earn; But now the whip is in their keep - And beneath your skin the scolding s e e p s… A shock like lightning, unmooring, steep, Comes the realization you’re in too deep. Bound in skeins of rules unending, Self-imposed, labyrinthine winding, Your hands are tied, All speech denied - There’s no way out, your mind’s unraveling, But they earn better than mindless babbling; (something's wrong, I can't find what) (it's not that bad it's all my fault) You seek atonement but nothing works; (Get it together) (You're just making it WORSE) This can’t continue, It’s time to go, But you know there’s still so much you owe; Forgiveness now is running thin: Your fumbled efforts earn chagrin; Known a friend to those decried, Their patience, even, you’ve now tried; You roll over, they keep pushing, You take the blame and they find more; (it’s not them.) (It cannot be.) Chosen mentor, Dearest friend… (They're always right.) (It's true.) (It's me.) To you a god in human form, They're the guide by which you're shorn; Unmake yourself, Remake yourself, You can never ease the score. ("I can't do this anymore.")

—

Personal writing from some time ago, very slowly pieced away at over a long while.  Due to its nature this is sort of a living document and is subject to change.

Please note, this is really about a very personal, internal experience and isn’t meant to be pointing fingers at anyone or anything ^^

[Reflections on some mental health-related topics below the cut]

Healing has started to look a bit like accepting that I'll always feel at least a bit convinced I did many things wrong; critically, pivotally wrong - somewhere, somehow - but also that I can no longer do anything about it.  The past is done, settled, an immutable force that's here to stay.  It's been a violent crash course in learning how to live with guilt, whether founded or not, and I can at least say I've come a long way since then!  One of my biggest hopes in sharing this is that it can help someone else feel seen and understood in the way I needed back then.

Acceptance - of the things we cannot change - isn't really a feeling so much as a practice, a skill we learn through repeated effort, trial and error.  The more necessary it is the harder achieving it tends to be, but it often comes easier when paired with a focus on the things you want to be instead of the things you regret or feel shame for.  They're two sides of the same coin, thankfully, and to find the other it's just a matter of turning the page.

That now-familiar rail spike may never truly disappear.  But its presence is felt less and less, having slowly reached a point where it no longer controls my life, and that can do.  Each time it fades it stays gone a little longer.  Baby steps.

Life goes on.

Thank you for reading.

[knightowl-studios]

[May 2025] Life drawing pages (part 2 of 2)

[knightowl-studios]

[May 2025] Life drawing pages (part 1 of 2)

[knightowl-studios]

[April 2025] Life drawing pages

[knightowl-studios]

Sorry for the lack of uploads recently, I've mostly been out doing life drawing/gesture sketching this last month or so and while it's fun and great art practice, it's not always the most interesting blog content XD Also a pain in the butt to scan and upload haha.

There's a good few on my computer now, though, so I may be uploading them sometime in the next few days or so. Stay tuned!

[knightowl-studios]

[March 2025]

More storm studies!

All paintings referenced from footage by Pecos Hank.

[knightowl-studios]

[January 2025]

Some traditional bird studies from last month, with a small bit of sprucing up in CSP.

Photograph sources below the cut:

Pavel Štěpánek David Wilson Scott Mullens Chef Ito James Livaudais Kannan AS Brad Imhoff Brett Mezen Robert Michaelson

[knightowl-studios]

Some favorite fictional hiss-beasts for the Year of the Snake :]~<

[knightowl-studios]

[Jan 15, 2025]

Messing with shapes and anatomy. Any resemblance to the Komodo Rhinos of A:tLA is completely coincidental, promise! XD

[knightowl-studios]

[Jan 7, 2025] Saw Sonic 3 over the holidays and now have a hedgehog problem XD

+ bonus edit by my good friend @psi-scribe, who took one look at it and immediately knew just what it needed <3

[knightowl-studios]

10/17/2024

Inktober sketch from last fall, revisited this week to add some shading

[knightowl-studios]

Refined Inktober sketch. Painting in black and white is oddly soothing!

Planning to upload more again soon, I have some backlog from the last few months that just needs to be polished up for posting

[knightowl-studios]

Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops

[knightowl-studios]

Now that I finally managed to snag a comm I feel like I can upload these hehehe...some just-for-fun dogification of my WoL, Lio!

[knightowl-studios]

THERE THEY AREEEE MY BLORBOS <33 Playing and having a wonderful time! I've already gushed tons about it but thank you again! <3

wow I didn't know I could fit all of these guys in one post. ffxiv dogsona commissions I took over on twitter!!!

[knightowl-studios]

Related to my last post, some sample Auraboas I made to go alongside their revamp at my adoptable shop. These have been my most complex adoptable to date and went through many, many thumbnails before I found something that worked!

Additionally, they also returned with 11 different bird companions to choose from:

(They're set to an element by default, but sticking to that isn't required ^^ )

If you'd like one for yourself, they're available now for 400kt/g, with gene sponsor prices ranging from 100-200kt/g. Go check it out!