leonardalphachurch

[leonardalphachurch]

okay one thing that bothers me is how whenever i talk about epsilon/tεx vs alpha/beta i get ppl going "yeah texsilon is FAKE while alphabeta is REAL" when its like. no. theyre both fake. theyre both relationships that theyre predestined forced to be in built on a foundation of lies. hell, epsilons relationship had less lies than alpha's! its just that like. well for one i will grant that at the moment of writing bgc the chex there was not intended to be fake so it does feel more real to watch. but its just a better lie like. everything church knows about tex is shit he made up thats not... thats not a basis for a relationship. okay.

[leonardalphachurch]

I know something is wrong with me, my brain keeps hiccuping at the fuckability polls, because this CAN'T just be two-option question, there are so many VARIABLES. I have to stop myself from sorting it all into subcategories, and rating everything on a scale of 1-10, then seeing how all the scores add up. I don't have time for all that... but I can't just... push a button...

lollllll im not really interacting bc i have long since accepted that the way i understand these bracket competitions is very different from how i think these things should be judged and theyre most often just a popularity contest rather than actually answering the question on hand.

but yes even besides the question of fuckability is incredibly nuanced i’ve gone in depth about my analysis of various characters sexual capabilities in spaces that are more appropriate to into explicit detail about characters ability to fuck. maybe i will rb this onto nsfw blog to go more into detail but also im sleepy so maybe not lol. tl;dr rated t for teen version: judging a characters fuckability is not only about attractiveness but also their technical skill, their adaptability and receptiveness to feedback from their partner, their confidence and willingness to actually get you to the bedroom, and how much baggage they are going to be bringing into the encounter.

[leonardalphachurch]

i feel like the little bit we get of epsilon and tεx in season 8 has influenced people’s perception of chex into something where church is whipped and always trying to get tex’s approval when the reality is that alpha is an absolute brat. like when it comes to serious stuff he’s ride or die for her but when it comes to their day to day mundane interactions he’s constantly taking cheap shots at her and refusing to listen to her and all in all being an asshole. he’s not gonna be waiting on her hand and foot he’s gonna tell her to go fuck herself and get her own damn shit. and thats the way she likes it!

[leonardalphachurch]

genuine death sentence for a woman in any fictional media is to dislike any man it doesnt matter what that guy did to her or anyone there will still be people who think she is the devil from hell and worse yet if they are written with any kind of nuance where its clear they just should not be near each other for both of their wellbeing ppl will go okay has she considered being nicer? has she considered not being a horrible person? hes just a little guy he doesnt mean it he-

[leonardalphachurch]

people talking about male characters: I loveee this guy he sucks so bad but he's still my favorite #myguy #ilovemoralnuance

people talking about female characters: idk I don't hate her I just feel like we wouldn't get along in person and also she does things I personally wouldn't do so that's a bit off putting.

[leonardalphachurch]

Alpha versus Epsilon. I wanted them to look different, so I skewed Epsilon in the way Caboose remembers/imagines him.

Some of the details I included:

Caboose does not remember Church's eye color, but he does remember how piercing and intense they felt

The colours are skewed towards blue, both because of their blue suits/environment (more reflected blue light) and because Caboose of course remembers blues and blue and reds as red, as is natural given the amount of time they spend in those suits.

Epsilon has more heavyset eyebrows because Alpha always looked pissed. In reality, when his face is relaxed his expression isn't that intense.

Epsilon is more vibrant and saturated because of the way Caboose reminisced about Blood Gulch. At the time, it seemed so much happier and lively than the life he was living in blue base with the A.I storage unit.

Epsilons hair is curlier, because Cabooses hair is curly, so his perception of default hair texture probably skews that way.

[leonardalphachurch]

[context: wash, caboose, and tucker somehow end up trapped in a house that church is haunting.]

church: G E T . O U T .

[tucker and caboose are screaming, swearing, afraid, terrified]

[wash, unfazed, walks up to the wall]

wash: whose blood is this?

church: Y O U— what?

wash: on the wall.

[the wall has blood seeping out of it]

tucker: what the fuck are you doing???

church: what do you mean “whose blood?” why does it matter???

caboose: maybe it’s the wall’s blood.

wash: so the house is made of flesh?

church: what? no! it’s just a house!

caboose: then why is it bleeding.

church: THE HOUSE ISN’T BLEEDING.

[wash swipes some blood off the wall with his finger and brings it close to his face]

wash: then where is the blood from?

tucker: DON’T TASTE IT????

wash: i’m- i’m not tasting it! i’m just smelling it!

[caboose walks up next to wash at the wall]

caboose: can i taste it?

church: D O N O T L I C K M Y W A L L S.

wash: don’t lick the walls, caboose.

caboose: okay.

[caboose stares at the wall intensely]

tucker: he’s gonna lick the fucking walls.

[wash plays with the blood between his fingers]

wash: well, it certainly feels like real blood.

church: wh- of course it feels like blood! what the fuck else would blood feel like!!!

wash: i thought it might be an illusion.

church: I A M N O T A N I L L U S I O N ! !

tucker: he’s been throwing chairs and shit at us! how is that illusion??

wash: nothing’s hit us. besides, if he can make us hallucinate visually and auditorially he can probably make us hallucinate, uh. tactilely.

tucker: tactfully?

wash: no, tactile. like touch.

caboose: what’s the word for smell.

wash: um. odorously?

caboose: what about taste.

church: STOP TRYING TO FUCKING TASTE MY BLOOD!

tucker: so the ghost is fucking, touching us??

church: i am NOT touching you! you’re touching my shit!

tucker: man, why can’t we be getting touched by sexy ghosts like in ghostbusters.

church: W H A T ! ?????

wash: don’t fuck the ghost

tucker: i’m not fucking the ghost!

caboose: if we can touch the ghost… can we hug him?

church: if you hug me Y O U D I E.

tucker: wait, like you’ll murder him? or like just touching you kills a person?

wash: why do you wanna know if you can touch him, tucker?

tucker: fuck you dude. i’m trying to figure out what kinda danger we’re actually in while you’re out here asking about the fucking, wall blood,

wash: i’m trying to understand the mechanics! if the blood comes from somewhere thats important to know!

tucker: it’s probably from the fucking, dead people! that he’s killed!

wash: no one’s been here in years, it wouldn’t be this fresh.

[wash turns to church]

wash: unless youre preserving the blood somehow…?

church: preserving the— your friend is right, these are stupid as fuck questions. why are you asking this?? why does it matter???

caboose: fake blood isn’t scary.

wash: real blood wouldn’t be that scary either, for the record.

church: how would real blood not be scary!

wash: it’s completely disembodied. tucker, if you saw a puddle of blood on the ground with no source, would you be scared?

tucker: uh. i guess not.

church: oh, come on. first of all, false equivalence. you’re telling me you see a room covered in blood and you wouldn’t care? bullshit.

tucker: i didnt say that, i mean. if there’s a lot of blood i’d be like. worried.

wash: exactly. it’s concerning, not scary. and that’s mostly because it means someone’s hurt.

tucker: nah, if it’s fresh and like, splattered, i’d probably be scared there’s a killer nearby or something.

wash: your first thought is not going to be that there’s a killer.

tucker: it depends how much it looks like a murder scene!

caboose: the scariest thing is the tetanus.

church: OH MY GOD, shut the fuck up. look. i don’t know where the blood is from, okay?

tucker: you don’t?

church: it’s magic scary ghost shit! it doesn’t come from anywhere!

wash: so it’s not real.

church: IT IS REAL. it’s just not from anywhere! i just make it!

caboose: it’s your blood?

church: IT’S NOT- it’s. maybe it’s my blood. i don’t know.

tucker: can we get a dna test?

wash: that would only be helpful if we already had something with his dna to compare it to.

tucker: hm. hey, ghost, do you have any old cum socks in your room or something?

church: what the fuck.

wash: so you do want the ghost’s cum?

tucker: NO!!

church: what is fucking wrong with you people.

[leonardalphachurch]

i do think that it’s a fairly racist act to have your white ocs replace the roles of characters of color in general, but especially of the one visibly black character in the whole of rvb. and that if you do this you should. stop doing that and instead just have them in a different role 👍

[leonardalphachurch]

i do think it’s interesting (and this is not aimed at that poll maker i have seen this sentiment countless times over the decade we’ve been here) that the common “church accepted that he was an ai before he died” interpretation tends to be “he knew he was an ai and said he was a ghost as a joke/to make light/to be an asshole” when i think to me what makes way more sense to me is that if even he understood that he was an ai he would just. still deny it. church is STUBBORN he wouldn’t even admit that he liked tex he is NOT going to admit that he was this wrong about himself. especially something that makes him look so stupid. i just think like. even if on a logical and emotional level he knows the truth he’s still not going to let himself acknowledge it

[leonardalphachurch]

I just realized my interpretation of “and I am a motherfuckin ghost” isn’t the only one and now I’m curious what everyone here thinks:

[leonardalphachurch]

Did someone say 2000s Kaikaina? Anyone? Nobody? Okay….

“Study” of outfits/fashion/trends for an au I’m thinking about a lot lately…. Plus I missed drawing Kai. She’s unfortunately not a huge part of the AU but that’s fine she can be the only one with an official design for a while, whatever

[leonardalphachurch]

does anyone remember that old rvb facecanon exchange event. that should happen again that was fun

[leonardalphachurch]

do you think i could send these to burnie as my resume for letting me write season 21

every time you tell me my rvb character dialogue is like canon i grow stronger

[leonardalphachurch]

I'd say sorry for my handwriting but it's not gonna get any better

[leonardalphachurch]

i think temples that look like church are very fun but honestly i think there’s something interesting about temple not even really looking like church at all but since it’s been so long since church has been anything but a suit of armor all temple really has to do is keep the helmet on and he’ll have the face of your best friend

[leonardalphachurch]

every time you tell me my rvb character dialogue is like canon i grow stronger

[leonardalphachurch]

I think Connie for sex. She's my all time top RvB crush. She's good at messing with people, she's small but strong and feisty, she seems fairly flexible in that S10 fight, she's just really pretty omg I'm too gay for this

o7 o7 you’re right and im sorry. lesbians forgive me for my transgressions against ct