lifewithtonic

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Photos from my first trip to Temple of the Rebel Goddess in Dayton, Ohio.

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Mindful cannabis use can be very helpful for somatic work and embodiment. In this article, I explain why and how to get started.

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Working on building the alter in my workspace for Sin & Tonic, a podcast about sexuality, spirituality, and healing that I’m launching early next year. It’s deeply personal with items from throughout my life and various spiritual influences.

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I attended my first regional burning man event in 2018. Each one I’ve attended since has given me more of myself back. Challenging myself to embrace radical self expression showed me how little of my true self I even knew about, let alone understood how to express it. But it started me on the road to where I’m at now. This is a photo of me last month at Alchemy Burn in Georgia. I spent the weekend trying to embody my Goddess energy. To be the most powerful and sexy version of myself that I could. Now it’s Nov 2024 and the idea of showing that version of myself in the “real” world feels really scary. But I also know it’s what’s needed more than ever. Stay sexy my friends. There’s more power in joy and pleasure than you realize.

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It’s hard to get into a relationship if you have much experience. Hiring a relationship and intimacy coach can help you learn and practice the skills you need with someone who is friendly and open so you can feel more confident when the game is real. Message me if you want to learn more.

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Why I Became a Sex Coach

When you meet me for the first time you might think I’ve always been the sex positive hippy and confident flirt I am today. I have a life full of meaningful relationships, I make art with my friends for fun, and I love what I do for a living. But for much of my life I felt like an alien who didn’t understand the strange mating rituals of the humans around me. 

Like a lot of neurodivergent people I needed some explicit instruction in social skills and supportive people around me before I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. I was drawn to kink and non-monogamy as a young adult and have been active in those communities for 15 years. That was where I first learned the power of direct communication and consent culture, both of which helped me to take control of my sexual expression and connect more authentically. 

As I became more confident, I started to notice the people hanging out at the edges of the events I attended - those wanting to connect but unsure how to find their way into the conversations and fun happening around them. I noticed them because I was that person for so much of my life. It made me so happy whenever I could reach out to someone new to a community and help them navigate their way into the kind of connections they were looking for.

I became a sex coach because I wanted to help even more people find their way into the sex and relationships they want. When I discovered the Somatica® Institute I felt like a mutant who just discovered Professor X’s School for Gifted Youngsters. I knew I had a gift but I didn’t know how to use it effectively. Their approach to teaching the skills of intimacy was so aligned with my values and lived experience it felt like coming home.

Today I use the skills I learned from Somatica® along with my previous experience as a special education teacher to teach the social skills of intimacy to people who want deeper and more authentic sexual and romantic connections. Think of working with me like the tutorial level of a video game. We can practice the skills you will need for the real game over and over until you feel comfortable and you won’t lose any lives. My clients learn what an authentic connection feels like so they are better able to find that connection with others. We work on everything from self acceptance to exploring kink to help you become your best sexual self.

The person I am today feels like the person I’ve always been on the inside. I just didn’t know how to become that on the outside. It took a long time but I’m finally figuring out how to do that. It feels even better than I imagined. You deserve the same thing for yourself. Let’s work together and to make that happen.

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Listen to your body carefully. Our bodies are very smart and they have their own intelligence.