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Alex: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Steph: Only if you also don't ask why

Steph: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Alex:

Steph:

Alex: This one is fine

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Steph: I turned out perfectly fine!

Alex: Steph, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Steph: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

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Alex: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Steph: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

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Steph: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Alex: What was that?

Steph: The sound of someone else's problem.

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Alex: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.

Steph: That sounds like a challenge.

Alex: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Steph: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Alex: There is no challenge!

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(Submitted by anonymous)

Steph: Oh Alex, are you looking for your glasses? I borrowed them to do an impression of you

Steph: (puts on Alex’s glasses, impersonating Alex) ”Steph, give me back my glasses”.

Alex: Steph...give me back my glasses

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Alex: You spent all our money on THIS??

Ryan, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

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Steph: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Alex periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’

Steph: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

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Steph: Alex and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Alex: We what?

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Steph: What is everyone for Halloween?

Alex: I’m a werewolf

Ryan: A clown.

Steph: So, I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

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(Alex and Steph in bed one night)

Steph: Come under the blanket

Steph: I have something to show you

Alex, smirks as they both pull the covers over their heads: Ok~

Steph: [showing her glow-in-the-dark dinosaur toys]

Alex:

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Alex: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Steph: How am I supposed to know?

Ryan: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Steph: *sighs*

Steph: You wouldn't be trapped.

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Steph: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.

Ryan: That’s a snake.

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Steph: You disgust me.

Alex: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

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Steph: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Alex: Wasn't Ryan with you?

Ryan: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

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Alex: So uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh...

Steph, sighing: You don't know how to dress for this, do you?

Alex, panicked: WHAT IS CLOTHES???

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Alex: What are you drinking

Steph: Vodka

Alex: Straight?

Steph: No, gay