lisztoaf

[lisztoaf]

Reblog with your best punchline

[lisztoaf]

Menelaus: to Odysseus, I would have given him a city in Argos for all his people and built him a house for him and his son

Telemachus: and Penelope

Menelaus: excuse me young man and may you refresh this man's mind, who is she?

Helen: that is my cousin sweetie

Menelaus: oh yeah why not! We could add a service room for her

[lisztoaf]

The spartan women having a girl night talking about their husbands

Clytemnestra: he might not be attractive, but he is the wealthiest man I have ever know

Helena: well, Menelaus may not own a wealthy inheritance, but he is the most handsome guy I have ever laid eyes on. What about your little husband Penny?

Penelope:

Penelope: he makes me laugh

[lisztoaf]

Menelaus is Agamemnon's therapist, and Menelaus therapist is Odysseus who's also the therapist of Achilles, Diomedes, Agamemnon and most of the men. And Odysseus' therapist is Ulysses, who is also Odysseus.

[lisztoaf]

I just know that "fucking Palades" was an internal joke between Odysseus and Diomedes.

[lisztoaf]

The meeting of Ulysses and Penelope (1788)

Francesco Bartolozzi; after John Francis Rigaud

[lisztoaf]

Odysseus is starting to remind me of this little guy...

[lisztoaf]

Menelaus and Helen wandered across the wide Egypt for eight years before returning home; did they wait until they got home to have Hermione, or did they have her in the sands of Egypt... Do we think that, do we find that romantic...

After ten years of war yearning for each other's touch? I do think this was their honeymoon.

Edit; this is inaccurate, still this was more to point out that they probably did it in the sand

[lisztoaf]

So you know that when Odysseus sneaked himself into the city of the Trojans as a beggar and only Helen recognized him, this was their conversation

Helen: you are no stranger to my knowledge, king-

Odysseus: you must mistake me for someone else lady of Troy

Helen: I know it's you Odysseus

Odysseus: ... How did you know it was me?

Helen in a lovely tone: I would recognize a rat whenever I see it.

[lisztoaf]

Iliad characters but if they had zodiac sign

· m a l e c h a r a c t e r s

A R I E S - Hector of Troy

T A U R U S - Ajax the great

G E M I N I - Odysseus

C A N C E R - Achilles

L E O - Menelaus

V I R G O - Palamedes

L I B R A - Teucer

E S C O R P I O - Diomedes

S A G G I T T A R I U S - Patroclus

C A P R I C O R N - Agamemnon

A Q U A R I U S - Aeneas

P I S C I S - Paris

I have my reasons for each one of them I'm just lazy now, just hear me it's literally them you can't tell me I'm wrong

· f e m a l e c h a r a c t e r s + t h e o d y s s e y

A R I E S - Clytemnestra

T A U R U S - Penelope of Ithaca

G E M I N I - Hecuba

C A N C E R - Andromache

L E O - Circe

V I R G O - Iphigenia

L I B R A - Nausicaa

S C O R P I O - Briseis

S A G G I T T A R I U S - Calypso

C A P R I C O R N - Elektra

A Q U A R I U S - Cassandra of Troy

P I S C E S - Helena

I do have my reasons for most of them but I'm not 100% sure for some... If you wanna switch them or add other characters like Chryseis it's alright

Edit; AT WHAT MOMENT THIS GOT POSTED

[lisztoaf]

The zodiac signs weren't a thing during the time the trojan war took place, but what if once the constellation was made a nerve hit you. As Castor and Pollux were ascending to Godhood the gemini nerve would just kick in Odysseus "oh that's a good kitty!" "No... I'm evil kitty"

[lisztoaf]

I just know Briseis played a role in Patroclus and Achilles' relationship. The soldiers would be gossiping "I saw the girl coming out of the Patroclus' tent" "whaat? He's sleeping with Achilles' slave? That's craazy", and she just spent the night there to give room to Achilles and Patroclus who were sleeping in Achilles' tent.

[lisztoaf]

Diomedes: you're a kind of father to me wise man

Odysseus: is it because I'm someone you can look up to and find soothing from your doubts in my words?

Diomedes: ...

Diomedes: you kinda remind me of a rat...