#incorrect iliad

[incorrecthomer]

[at Achilles's funeral] Agamemnon: *places his hand on the pyre and sobs* Agamemnon: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

[hekioftroy]

😟😟😟

So you are saying I am not a good person, I have a morally gray character and that I am a war criminal??! By the gods! My people will hear about this.

Tired of everyone sanitizing Odysseus, Patroclus and Hector NONE OF THEM ARE GOOD PEOPLE!! ALL 3 OF THEM ARE MORALLY GRAY!! THE ILIAD IS CHOOSE YOUR FAVOURITE WAR CRIMINAL WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS!!

[ladysakura26]

Diomedes after the Trojan war... Probably

[little-cereal-draws]

These three because I love this ship so much

*Penelope and Diomedes flirting with each other yet again* Odysseus: And you two are sure you're not dating? Penelope: 100%. Diomedes: Of course not! Why would you think that? Odysseus: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Diomedes. I fucking wonder.

-

Diomedes: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Diomedes: Penelope is still mad about it, but me and Odysseus were drunk and thought it was funny. -

Odysseus: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Penelope: Yes? Odysseus: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Penelope: Fuck. Odysseus: It's gonna be a fun week! Penelope: I'm going to Diomedes's house. Odysseus: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker. -

Penelope: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Diomedes: It’s my turn to cuddle Odysseus. Penelope: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT! -

Diomedes: H-how do you ask someone out? Odysseus: Well, first- Penelope: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Diomedes: ...And you said yes? -

*Odysseus is telling a story* Penelope: Wow, Odysseus, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Diomedes: Romance? Penelope: I'm in love with him. -

Penelope, holding a rock: Diomedes just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Odysseus: If you don't marry him, I will. -

Diomedes: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Odysseus, blushing: Okay. Penelope: It's fucking summer. -

Odysseus: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Diomedes: Yes. Odysseus: I love you. Diomedes: It back. *Later* Penelope: Why is Odysseus crying face-down on the floor? -

Penelope: Ooh, somebody has a crush Odysseus: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Diomedes. I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* Odysseus, very much awake: Uh oh. -

Penelope: Did Diomedes just tell me he loved me for the first time? Odysseus: Yeah, he did. Penelope: And did I just do finger guns back? Odysseus: Yeah, you did. -

Penelope: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Diomedes. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Diomedes! Odysseus: Nope. Penelope: In that case, as the archbishop of Odysseus's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Diomedes right on the lips!!! -

Odysseus: Thank you all for coming. Penelope, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Odysseus: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Odysseus Task Force". Diomedes: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way. -

Odysseus: *looking through his closet* Has anyone seen my top? Diomedes: Penelope’s in the kitchen. -

Diomedes: *sucking on a popsicle* Penelope: Pfft, you practicing for when Odysseus gets here? Diomedes: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle* Penelope: *Concern* -

Diomedes: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Odysseus: Like its slips on and off really easily. Diomedes: Odysseus: No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant. -

Penelope: Can you please just apologize to Diomedes? Odysseus: Fine, but I have to warn you that this may make me a nicer, better person and that is not who you feel in love with. -

Diomedes: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Odysseus: I’m “a couple of things”. Penelope: I’m “got distracted”. *Penelope and Odysseus high five* -

Penelope: That shirt looks great, Odysseus. Odysseus: Thanks. Penelope: But I bet it would look even better on Diomedes's floor. Diomedes: Are you hitting on Odysseus... for me? -

Diomedes: Hey, Odysseus? Can I get some dating advice? Odysseus: Just because I'm with Penelope doesn't mean I know how I did it.

[skopsidopsi]

Greek Camp Chat be like

[jugganautism]

my part of an art trade with a tiktok mutual :) [@ baboomster]

[lineaup]

That one scene..

Agamemnon: Few seconds ago, I lost my dear brother Menelaus.

Menelaus, bleeding from a noticably non-fatal spot: Quit telling everyone I’m dead! Agamemnon: Sometimes I can still hear his voice…

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

athena dealing with odysseus & diomedes over the 10 years at troy

[almostmidnightstuff]

i MIGHT be obsessed with patroclus recently

[lisztoaf]

Menelaus is Agamemnon's therapist, and Menelaus therapist is Odysseus who's also the therapist of Achilles, Diomedes, Agamemnon and most of the men. And Odysseus' therapist is Ulysses, who is also Odysseus.

[incorrecthomer]

Athena: You think I enjoy being mother hen to you all? Odysseus: Diomedes: Achilles: Agamemnon: Athena: Ok fine, it's like crack to me

[chilaquilesheel]

Achaean camp chat be like...

@skopsidopsi collab thank you!!

[that-faerie-in-the-corner]

feminine warrior king with dark blood dripping down his shapely legs: Yeah I'm fine I think I just need some stitches and- wait why does that say feminine warrior king? What? I'm literally just a regular warrior king. A masculine one, even

Me, The Poet known as Homer: you weren't supposed to see that

[little-cereal-draws]

Diomedes: Agamemnon just hates our strategy ideas because he’s homophobic

Odysseus:

Odysseus: we’re not gay, Diomedes

Diomedes: we’re not?

[skopsidopsi]

Achilles in therapy

Therapist: So what brings you here?

Achilles: *starts dragging Hectors body in*

Therapist:....oh

[roachcicle]

kinda hate that this is my second most popular post but it is funny so