lizardpersonyknow

[lizardpersonyknow]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[lizardpersonyknow]

Sometimes I'm like 'tim is a cryptid' n then I'm like 'dick excuses every single crime tims ever thought about doing bc that's his baby brother.'

N I realised that they go together so well.

Ppl talking about how scared they are that Tim could be anywhere and they wouldn't know n dick just goes 'oh! No, he's in Greece!'

Like heyyyyy dickkkkk... How'd you know that? How are you not cursed? When Bruce tried to find Tim he got hit by every contact turning into a self help line, even if he dialed the number himself!

Dick's just like 'have you asked?'

They don't know where or why Tim is, and dick sometimes "refuses to spoil the surprise!" (It's always playing baseball to save the world, exploding the bases of and deliberately antagonising ra's or something. Never cake. Bruce would love a cake Tim. A normal, edible, non-explosive cake. Just once tim. Please)

[lizardpersonyknow]

Hello to the new Jason Todd ig

I think Tim cyberbullies people for fun by anonymously posting stuff designed to set them off. For dick? About how the joker is definitely a real clown, who even cares about clown eggs? Jason? Elizabeth Bennett was too stuck up and should have accepted Mr Darcy's first proposal because she wouldn't be able to get anything better than that. Damian? A really high quality blade, misidentified and placed somewhere like the top of a dresser, where it would certainly get damaged and banged around. Photographed and posted proudly for the world to see, also tagging him with a challenge to get a better *wrong sword name* than them.

I think he'd deliberately push these posts in their algorithm so they have to see them

[lizardpersonyknow]

I think Tim cyberbullies people for fun by anonymously posting stuff designed to set them off. For dick? About how the joker is definitely a real clown, who even cares about clown eggs? Jason? Elizabeth Bennett was too stuck up and should have accepted Mr Darcy's first proposal because she wouldn't be able to get anything better than that. Damian? A really high quality blade, misidentified and placed somewhere like the top of a dresser, where it would certainly get damaged and banged around. Photographed and posted proudly for the world to see, also tagging him with a challenge to get a better *wrong sword name* than them.

I think he'd deliberately push these posts in their algorithm so they have to see them

[lizardpersonyknow]

Love it when tim don't tell people SHIT. 'tim tells nobody he has lost his spleen'? Weak sauce. I want Tim to be a complete and utter mystery just by accident.

I want tim to not tell anyone that Bruce is alive. He just vanishes after bruce dies. Nobody can find him. He just shows up months later like hey the LOA is in town protect these specific people. Also Bruce is alive and I know how to find him.

I want tim to be a cryptid within the batfamily. Enough of sad baby 'please be my family' tim. Let him become ungovernable. It's what canon Tim would want. He didn't invent a fake uncle because he thought Bruce didn't want him, he created a fake uncle because he didn't want bruce

[lizardpersonyknow]

Tim "won't end you but will end your bloodline" Drake:

[lizardpersonyknow]

i keep thinking to myself, god we have got to put tim drake in a time loop. but also time loops just feel so perfectly like speedster bullshit, yknow? therefore lemme just smash these thoughts together like particles at cern aaannddd--

let's put tim in a time loop that bart accidentally caused. a tim loop, if you will :) specifically, tim loop where kon dies at the end and bart just kind of subconsciously went nope! and "if anyone can fix it it's tim right?" bc bart has. a normal amount of faith in his friends but also a normal amount of feelings about himself being useless to save kon bc he couldn't in infinite crisis.

and bam suddenly tim is having the worst tuesday of his life like 20 times in a row. yippee! it's bart-powered but he doesn't even know. he did it on accident. bart in the loop doesn't know what's going on. it just resets every time the ending is something bart can't accept (kon dies again). tim tries to sacrifice himself to save kon once but somehow that doesn't break the loop either (bart refuses to accept that). how long can tim go through a time loop before he goes completely bonkers bananas insane? only tim(e) will tell.

and, worse: how many times can tim watch kon die? how many times can he beg kon to value his own life, to get it through his head that being a hero doesn't mean he needs to die for the world, that there must be another way? how many times can he watch kon sacrifice himself to save others and know that if he stops kon, those people might die?

how fucked up would he be if he ever actually found out just how suicidal kon has been his entire life?

extra fun: cassie takes one look at him every time and instantly clocks that he's feeling like shit, but every time she forgets why, because the loop resets. tim is being perceived but it never lasts. this will drive him crazy so fast. he's gonna start acting out and snapping at her for being concerned because what's the POINT of talking about his feelings if everything resets ANYWAY. this will definitely not come back to bite him in the end or anything, right?

(kon-el dead wife giggling in the sunshine and playing under the sheets montage plays over and over for both tim and bart. this probably means nothing.)

[lizardpersonyknow]

I think people don't understand exactly how mean Tim Drake should be or is kinda.

Like if you have him as a ruthless businessman who was raised by Janet Drake the Dragon of Gotham.

He would put Regina George to shame.

Tim would go to a gala look a woman up and down and sneer at her last season Chanel.

He would without thinking say the meanest shit imagineable.

"If the first line of your sucide note isn't dedicated to me I wasn't honest enough."

Oh Tim Bruce's first paragraph is dedicated to you.

Like he's so mean he's made half of them cry and sometimes it not even on purpose.

"Jason if you don't shut up I'm gonna dig up your mother and put you right next to her, oh wait there wasn't anything left was there."

"Imagine being sold out twice by your mother couldn't be me."

Dick trips.

"Really living up to that family legacy."

"Should have been falling Grayson's since none of you can stay off the ground."

Like Bruce is holding Jason and Dick back but he's also sobbing because Tim is such a bitch.

Stephanie called him boy loser when he was tired and she walked out sobbing.

I need Tim Drake to say the meanest cruelest shit ever.

Because he would.

That a menace and a mean girl.

[lizardpersonyknow]

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

[lizardpersonyknow]

Tim did this on purpose bc Bruce pissed him off and he's petty

Soon after he gets dick to 'accidentally' post a video of him pacing and ranting about it to his official dick grayson-wayne account.

"SHE COULDVE HAD ANYONE!! ANYONE!! AND SHE CHOSE HIM??? THE NEIGHBORHOOD FURRY???"

(dick, giggling) 'tim maybe she didn't know..'

"OH SHE KNEW. I KNOW SHE KNEW. H O W DID THAT SLUT LAND MY MUM????"

no donor baby?

I had a vision of Tim drake in an interview talking about the discovery that he's Bruce's bio son and Tim just goes like

"I knew I wasn't my dad's, since he was ace but beause of their talks about my 'excellent genetics' I assumed that he and mom went to a sperm bank and paid a lot for the traits they hoped I would have, but APARENTLY she just decided to go with the neighbor?"

All of Gotham finds it hilarious that Brucie Wayne has been downgraded to 'the neighbor'

[lizardpersonyknow]

My brother told me he woke up at one am with massive anxiety about the wildfires in LA but he didn't know anyone in LA so he googled Markiplier and when he told me I said "gasp! The LA gangs!". And then I had to explain about Markiplier and the LA gangs

[lizardpersonyknow]

Just had a dream and it was absolute angst bc it was watching the titans tower and Jason was aware that he was redoing it. But every 10 times it reset so Jason was beating Tim up. But Jason ended up talking to Tim and didn't want to beat him up. But he physically had to. Like he wasn't in control. Even though he got to know him in the other loops and didn't want to, he had to watch his body do that. Sometimes he could gain control. But it never stuck. And then next loop Tim is hero worshipping him without any memory of what Jason did.

My dream had hundreds of loops and I had to watch as at first Jason just fuckin killed him bc 'its a time loop it doesn't matter' and then he grows fond of Tim and ends up hating Tim's fear every time he enters. And he has to deal with Tim loving him while he's trying to beat him up in self defense (all the while Jason is screaming internally bc he can't control this).

Anyways the loop ended when Jason fully murdered Tim. After having got to know him as a person. He was so desperate to stop hurting him and then he went batshit but was like this is my baby brother so was killing anyone who even LOOKED like a threat. Like if he stays safe this time it'll stop this. And he shoots Tim by accident in his paranoia.

And then he was standing outside titans tower. I got woken up by my brother but I still think like what if that was the end?? Or if they both escaped but Tim also remembered

[lizardpersonyknow]

Credit to theactorbat on tiktok

[lizardpersonyknow]

I don't think Tim would kill the Joker, not even after Joker Junior.

I do, however, think he could manipulate someone else into it and retain the moral high ground, instead. After all, if someone else does it and he doesn't directly tell then to- well that was their decision, and he need not worry.

Tim, to Shiva: yeah but loads of people have defeated The Bat at this point. Just look at the Joker. I mean, Joker's basically unkillable. There's not a single assassin or vigilante or hero that could kill him. He just keeps on living and causing chaos.

Shiva: I cluld

Tim: no, no you really can't. But it's OK! Lots of people can't! It would take only the best to kill Joker. I mean sure, a LoA member might be able to...

Shiva: I will.

Tim, shrugging: whatever! You can do what you want but don't say I didn't warn you...

A week later, Joker's dead and Tim is biting back a grin as Bruce glares at them all.

Bruce: "Alright, who did it?"

Nightwing: you need to face it, B, it wasn't any of us.

Bruce, glaring at Tim: the wounds looked similar to that of a bo staff-

Tim, rolling his eyes: I was busy at Joker's ToD. Besides. I'm the best, but not the only bo staff user in the world. Lady Shiva rivals me as well- could have been her.

Bruce, scowl deepenign: and how exactly do you know Joker's ToD?

Tim points at the screen, wordlessly. The phrase "Time of Death: 22:19" were written in bold.

Bruce grimaced. : and what exactly where you doing? I don't believe you were with us which gives you no alabi-

Tim: I was with Bernard.

Bruce: doing what?

Tim: Bernard.

Steph snorts in response.

Steph: let it go, B. Clearly it wasn't any of us. Maybe some assassin with a grudge took him out- honestly, we should be celebrating!

Jason cheers in the background and starts grabbing the most expensive bottles from Bruce's alcohol collection.

[lizardpersonyknow]

His evil son

[lizardpersonyknow]

i.......

[lizardpersonyknow]

Tim: oh Jason can't kill me anymore Jason: can't???? Tim: if you kill me, it'll be (Red Hood former alias of) the Joker killing (Red) Robin Tim: which means I will have aped every major aspect of your tenure as Robin, and since you'll have killed me, you'll be the one who made me your perfect replacement Jason: ...wh- Dick: okay, wait, getting killed by the Joker is NOT every aspect of Jason's tenure as Robin- Tim: I embezzled a Batmobile from Batman (stealing the Batmobile tires) Tim: I dropped out of high school (never got to finish) Tim: I was hated by the Robin before me (Dick hating Jason) Tim: and my falling out with Batman was based on him thinking I killed someone I didn't when they fell off a building (Bruce thinking Jason pushed Felipe Garzonas off a balcony) Tim: oh! and since Ra's al Ghul wants me alive, I'm reasonably sure he'd use the Lazarus Pit to revive me, so I could take that too! then I can get to work on stealing your identity as Red Hood :) Jason: Dick: Tim: I already took Red Robin :) Dick: ...wh- Jason: Tim, I hate you, I hate you so goddamn much. You are my favorite brother. You are the only Bat I respect and the only one I will ever willingly work with. You are completely insane. You are the best Robin there ever has been or ever will be. What the fuck is wrong with you. I love you. I'm going to shoot you in the leg now. Tim: make sure you miss the femoral artery!