luv-ism

[luv-ism]

Mine is colonial conquest....man english is hard I wanted to make sure I was using this for the right context :(((

Edit: THE ONLY CONDITION FOR GETTING THE MONEY IS THAT YOU CAN'T REMOVE THE TATTOO

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happy pride month to all <3 There has been struggles for every group under this flag, and yet we all persist and continue to do so. however today I wanted to talk about stuff more personal to me so I could send some messages to more people like me. some messages: To my fellow queer brown ppl , no you are not "whitewashed" for being queer, no you're not "betraying" your culture. We've always existed, and homophobia is not our culture. It is the result of colonialism. You were always here. relating to that I also have to mention how this lack of acceptance from both these communities can cause you to feel very torn apart. You feel yourself being in this tug of war. You feel as though you have to pick one. I don't think you have to. Sure it can be lonely, but you deserve respect wherever you are. I preach this, but I will be honest, sometimes its hard not to give in to the loathing that comes with loneliness. There has been times where I've had to walk out of queer friend groups due to the racism I've faced and there has been times where I've lost nearly all of my friends from my home for standing up for my queer identity and for those similar.

both of these incidents have made me feel extremely lonely and as though I am betraying a part of myself. the first incident made me feel afterwards as though I cannot express my queer identity as freely as I did when I was in a group of similar people and the second incident made me feel like I've given up a facet to my culture and a significant portion of my childhood. Many a time I say to myself that this cannot be fair. That I shouldn't have to pick and choose between these two crucial parts of my identity. Things have gotten better because the world isn't so small that these intolerant people are the only ones who exist here. Fortunately I am with people now with who I feel I don't have to compromise myself. What I want to say to other fellow brown queer folks is that, maybe the hate is more prevalent and more noticeable, but there is love for you in this world. Do not feel like an anomaly.

Also, you don't have to come out to your family. Again I know most brown parents will not be so accepting. I am not discouraging you from coming out, but I am saying that do not if u don't feel safe. I want to share an experience relating this.

Recently one of my friends asked me if I ever plan on coming out to my family and I say no, its too dangerous for me. She then says that don't I have to come out sooner or later? I clarify to her that I don't think my identity will change based on whether or not I inform them. Upon further thought I realized what she meant by that. She meant that sooner or later when I "Have" to get married (that is if I want to keep my brown parents happy, which I feel like I have to) I will have to come out. Well I tell her that Im lucky Im bi and all I can do is just hope that I fall in love with a man and keep my parents in blindfolds for the rest of time. My sweet friend then stabs me with "what if you don't?".

Do I suppress my identity to survive? to hold onto my family because this is one last thread of connection to my culture? If I let go I know home will never feel home again. I will be a foreigner in my own country. Oh but I still have a choice of never having to reveal myself and still potentially have a love I want without compromising my family. Others are not so lucky, or maybe I could also not being lucky. I have concluded that I need not to fear for this day. The home that has fed and raised me will still be mine even if no one there wants me there. I don't need to come out till then. So basically I wanted to say that if you refuse to come out due to reasons like mine, you don't need to. Your identity will be yours no matter what. You are not a coward or a fraud to yourself. You don't owe anyone an explanation of who you are or who you love.

You are you even if you cannot say it out loud.

[luv-ism]

I love teas a lot. Some of my favorites are darjeeling cha, chai in general (I know its made of black tea, but I love chai so much I HAVE to mention!), and lemongrass and green teas. I have to mention that the recent upsurge in matcha love has started to make me think where I can get some good matcha. Problem is I dont know much and I dont really want to get ceremonial grade matcha because I feel like it would be a waste for me to use ceremonial grade for regular use. So my current mission is to find good culinary grade matcha. I love matcha. See the thing is I love green foods. I love to eat food that gives off "grass". If I could I would eat grass. mmm

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you put a usb to my brain and this is gonna pop up on ur screen

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The most evil person you know is posting about being a people pleaser

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I don't like any of this, I want to go back home. I want to go back to my mom. I've failed as a daughter, I don't want to live this life

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I miss my home. It'll never be mine anymore. Been too far too long, and now everyone back there sees me as foreign. I'm scared I wont be able to make another home either. I cant forget what I'm made from.

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video of a woman showing off her martial arts skills

men in the comments: Oh yeah? now put on a blind fold and close contact fight with a 7'6 ft tall man who weighs 456 pounds, has 4 arms and is on crack and then lets see how your martial arts saves you, you female.

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Review of the "Angel Engine" series on reels

Okay so Idk why u would even want to watch the series, but obv spoiler warning for the entire thing. For the folks who dont know, "angel engine" is a series by unearthly.ai on instagram reels, and over time gained a lot of traction. That being said, first lets point out the elephant in the room...this series is made by entirely AI "Illustrations". Oh god, I think even the writing is made by chat gpt sometimes due to reasons I will discuss below. If you dont know what's wrong with using AI, frankly I don't know where you've been on the internet for the past couple of years, or I don't think you're my intended audience. I must mention this belief of mine that I do not condone AI Art. (I wont get into the nitty grittys, there are other creators who do this better than me) HOWEVER, apart from the obvious flaw of the series, lets poke fun of it at a deeper level. here are my complaints with the series: > The story lacks a clear, cohesive plot > Even the script sounds like it was made with AI > Its just another watered down, cheap stroyline borrowed from the entire "the machine, the flesh and the divine" concept and other analog horror series in general.

>Hey, unearthly...you said something about hiring human artists...sooo whats up with that? lets do a little intro to the series. So, first episode we're met with this gooey blackish figure talking bout something something "syphoning an angel". So according to gooey, deplete earth of its resources(ahem, unearthly...is this a play about you?) , kill the wildlife and basically bring civilization to the brink of extinction...then start to pray. Gooey says that god will send an angel and then u put the angel into the angel death machine or smth, ending the episode with an implication that gooey IS said syphoned angel. First off, I dont know why people in the comments kept gassing the stroy up. Y'all reel and tiktok ppl hear some religious themes being played out in an apocalyptic scene and started salivating. "lets kill the earth and put the angel in the evil angel death engine", give me a f*cking break. Like it just sounds like something a cartoon villain would do. "Put the angel in the angel syphoning machine". Yes it could've been beautifully expanded and made into this intricate That brings us to our first plothole...Where tf did you guys get the angel engine from?was it like...lying around somewhere yk.......? Okay okay in some further episodes we see where another different gooey dude? (i honestly dont know if thats a different guy yk how ai art is inconsistent). We're being told that YES, the angel engine is just lying around somewhere! We come to this "holy land". and bam bam we gotta hide from these ogres called the "forgotten" and within the thorny forest or smth u find the angel machine. This brings me to my next question...why tf does Geoff exist then? if the machine already existed, why do we need this egotistical scientist who came to work eating a whole ego burger for breakfast? Why is bro so hyped up? IF we already had the machine...what other vital thing did this Geoff guy provide to make him that powerful and respected? there are multiple plothole like the above sprinkled throughout the series, which leads me to think that this dude, unearthly used AI to write the story.

Also, whats like the goal of the story? Are we defeating the evil syphoned angels? Are we gonna fight the lizard ppl?(yes, they exist canonically) Why did we kill off Geoff?? How does killing him advance the plot? In the end this entire thing is like la croix-esque. Where we have hints of plots and tropes whispered throughout and a bunch of eerie looking stolen art pasted together. And ofcourse, unearthly sells a course! A course on AI Art...

Lastly, lets touch on the subject that this guy said he wants to hire human artists to advance this story, and tbh I was happy hearing that! I love stories based on maneuvering of angels with the electric and kind of emphasizing how un-human tech and angels are. I genuinely believed that this would happen but this guy goes back to posting AI slop. This concept could've been expanded into something beautiful but unearthly kinda falls into the same tragedy as geoff and keeps exploiting the "machine".

[luv-ism]

evening tea and what ifs

Okay, so here I am sitting on my bed with a cup of aromatic Darjeeling tea and a floundering self . Junior year so far has been nothing but a ruthless reminder of my incompetency. I have been stricken down by karmic retribution, a price to pay for having a ego that comes with a perfect gpa. Maybe Ive been too caught up in worldly affairs, hence the necessary blow. Perhaps 5 aps and honors wasn't the best decision yk? I still have 2 more ap tests, a few tests, an editorial for ap lang and a precalc cumulative. Please. send. help. I dont remember the last time Ive been outside and felt the grass. Im rupunzel in her 2 bedroom apartment.

What if things were different?

What if I wasnt burdened with the duty of "maintaining" my "family's honor"? What if I wasn't a first generation immigrant with all the things to prove and nothing that I can miss and nothing that I'm owed?

what if I didnt have to be the perfect daughter? what if I was just there yk? what if I could just be...a normal teenager girl? like the ones I used to see in the movies.

what if I could just hang out with friends in the mall, talking about boys (maybe girls) and sip away on our matcha lattes ?

school would be an afterthought, wouldn't pay much attention. Maybe take some easy classes and wouldn't care even if I had a B.

It would've been much better than what it is right now.

My current transcript is what would be the next fig tree or pomegranate to the tiktok girlies. So much hope, and potential...all comes crashing down into a bloody pile of...Cs. That's right, Cs! All my life, I would be scratching, fighting and crying if I had a B. Now that girl has what, Cs??? My dreams of that one engineering program? bye bye! oh god, even getting into a decent school? HAHA GOOD JOKE YOU AINT GETTING IN. what if I didnt have to get into engineering?

maybe not even medicine?

not business either... what if I could pursue the arts?

I would love to be in the arts. I dont remember the last time Ive painted. Too less time yk? not enough motivation either. I dont know if I can ever paint either, too much emotional labour.

My cup is empty now, only a little dusting of the tea leaf residue on the bottom. In the end, you cannot dwell in what ifs and what nots and what happened and what might. You can only dwell in the present and let the current of life carry you through the course of its contents. Now let me get up and wash this cup.

[luv-ism]

recent addiction

So recently I've been VERY into perfumes. Mostly because I'm looking for the perfect daily wear (too indecisive, cant choose). Alas, I, just like thousands of other teen girls, have fallen victim to a fragnantica.com addiction. I scroll through the pages for hours and hours on end, and here I am to talk about some interesting finds that I hope I can smell one day! Lilyphea Diptyque : oh my god, where do I start? Reviews describe it as a "monet painting" in a bottle. A glimpse at the notes might not excite you at first(atleast it didn't to me). Cardamom, ginger, bourbon vanilla and violet leaf. I'll be honest I was pretty discouraged by the cardamom notes, because frankly the only thing that comes to my mind after smelling it is disappointment in biriyani. HOWEVERRRR, the reviews, rating and accords have made me OBESSESSED with it. its accords are described as "ozonic", "aquatic", "green" and..vanilla?? weird combo fosho, but still in my mind it exists to soften the sharp edges of the aquatic and green notes. Overall, in my mind it smells like a fairytale lily pond, and that is EXACTLY the vibe I want to give off. Alas, it is about $300 for a bottle so rn I look for decants and dupes. Kimono by d'Annam: I dont really like mature scents, and maybe I would never wear this. What draws me is the motherly vibe to it. Magnolia, lipstick, silk, rice, flour and powdery notes. This list sounds like my mother. It reminds me of little me of falling asleep on my mother's lap during a very bustling wedding ceremony as I clutch on to her new silk saree. The notes are like when I used to secretly open her mahogany almirahs and dressers and mess through her lipsticks, vintage perfumes, and once again, silk sarees. The magnolia note really supports this imagery because my mother loves magnolia. For some reason, mothers love heavy floral notes like magnolia and jasmine. maybe because they have this "mature" yet gentle vibe to it? Cant think of any more perfumes, but surely will add more to the list! xoxo luv!

[luv-ism]

Hi! welcome to my blog!

Im luv and I'm planning on writing reviews, rants and other whatnots throughout my blog. Im mostly doing this to improve my writing skills and to have an outlet for my thoughts! Mostly planning on writing literary analysis (though it might not be that thorough), reviews of shows/books/any other media, talking about culture, fashion and trends or even just anecdotes of my own life. I hope to make my writings enjoyable for all! Thanks for stopping by! feel free to give me suggestions via asks! it can be suggestions on how to improve my writing, or even what you would like to see next!

okay so I realised I might have to set it clear that i dont want the following kind of people interacting with me. obv I want no kinds of bigots interacting with me

also I need to specially mention this: I will occasionally post feminism content and criticize white liberal feminism, this is not an invitation for terfs to think I'm on their side. Also overtly religious people dni. xoxo luv

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“The writer's job is to get the main character up a tree, and then once they are up there, throw rocks at them.” — Vladimir Nabokov

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Dabloons

no Im broke

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Rawdogging life rn. Need to smoke 4 cigarettes at the same time as I take a gulp of an entire jar of instant coffee mixed w redbull.

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About a few weeks ago i had finished watching the anime Apothecary Diaries. See, I usually DO NOT get into any sorts of media due to my obsessive tendencies. Alas, the catastrophe hit me again. I tried to control myself for 2 days and I failed. I ended up reading the manga series as well. Now i thought that was going to quench me. Alas NO! Currently on Volume 9 of the light novels... I am very happy that the light novels arent done yet. This also means I know quite a bit on whats going to happen in the future anime episodes and its so fun to see fandom spaces, where majority has been watching the anime (some even the manga). They DO NOT know what they'll be hit with. The DRAMA has BARELY begun!! People will be EATING this series up, I just know it. They already do, but its like they're having breakfast, unaware of the behemoth feast prepared for lunch!!!