m4n1c-m3rm41d

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

Preach queen

I love being messy and imperfect and human and flawed and whimsical and kind and thoughtful and having frizzy curls and bugs crawl over me and chipped nail polish and mismatched jewelry and clothes that don't quite fit and trying my best

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

I’m not the only one, I know.

But I like to think you don’t look at anyone else like this.

Like you want to strip them from the inside out.

Like my skin is paint and you’re the remover.

And it’s unhealthy, I know.

But you feel like medicine, like a vaccine.

Like exactly what I need to feel better.

And it won’t end well, I know.

Because I don’t want to fall in love and you can’t.

And it’s just fleeting feelings, and touch.

And you don’t want me unless I’m in your bed.

And I don’t want you cause I’m stuck in my head.

And we’ll keep doing this, I know.

Because you don’t see anything in this, but you’re my way to cope.

Though you’re anything but comforting.

But your touch is the only thing that makes me feel wanted,

Even if it makes me sick.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

Ethel cain is for the girls who are perverted, the girls who smoke a cigarette in the morning before even getting water, the girls who sleep in their mascara and eyeliner for days until it crumples off, the girls who dance naked, the girls who collect old photos of people they don't even know, the girls who watch gutwrenching movies, the girls who don't shave their armpits or legs/arms, the girls who sleep in until 3pm, the girls who want to go out to a field and take photos with a gun, the girls who dont brush their teeth everyday/shower everyday. Ethel cain is for the disgustingly beautiful ho's.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🌷͙⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

You stick your heavy heart right into my chest, weighing me down to the point I can't protest.

Figurative fragments of your hand in mine fractured and faulting to keep up with time.

Keep drinking your shitty liquor, you won't feel better, I hope you remember it all.

In calculated corruption you curtsy, you hurt me. Omniscient until you,

I don't know you.

Get your hands off me. It's too late.

It's been done.

It's happened.

You can't make it stop.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

Fire rests between my bones.

I’m flint and steel, a spark waiting to catch.

My body is hot, heated, burning and scorned.

It’s aflame, scratching an itch I can’t scratch.

I am torn. Movement turns my skin to a match.

Lit alight in no likely alignment.

A raging fire trapped inside my muscles confinement.

Melting to nerves, Im unhurt but I’m burnt.

I am burnt.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

You were my first, my first everything.

My first kiss, my first time, my first love, my first heartbreak.

I haven’t kissed anyone since, I haven’t touched anyone since, I haven’t loved anyone since.

I’m scared now. Scared of people, scared they’ll be like you.

No matter how nice they seem I can’t trust them. Cause that’s how you were, we were perfect. You were kind and caring.

It’s hard to believe you could change so harshly. After so long of being loving, how could you turn so hateful?

I’m not sure how to believe people anymore.

Because there’s that chance that after I’m in too deep they’ll turn, they’ll become mean and aggressive. Just like you.

-This is a bit old but I never posted it so here

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

I been doing this can everyone do it please

can we please normalize being lovely to women and evil to men

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

I saw a dead kangaroo on the road today.

Its guts were pouring out and its head was cracked open.

And for a second it reminded me of you.

I would tell you why but I’m not quite sure myself.

Maybe it was its soft exterior, coated in fur.

Maybe it was the shocking scene of the disgusting things that came from underneath that.

It could be both but I’ll try not to think about it.

Because how cruel of me to compare this poor dead thing, to you.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

“Angels of P0rn” - Nicole Dollanganger

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

I want to say I can’t do casual intimacy.

But I would be lying.

I wish there was something more pure to me something untainted that I see in other poets.

Something that only lets them be intimate with those that truly know them.

But something about lying with someone who doesn’t know me is comforting.

The warmth of a strangers arms around me.

The way they don’t know more than I let them.

The way they leave when the sun comes up and I don’t have to worry about them seeing my flaws.

The way they whisper in my ear, telling me things I don’t even need to hear.

Sweet nothings, sweet no one’s, sweet things I don’t need to remember.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

I sit on the cold bathroom floor, where you stand over me like a god.

Your skin grazes mine ever so gently despite your intent.

Your gaze roams my body whole, bare and vulnerable in front of you.

The undone and uncut version of me.

The way you touch me feels like a prayer but the way your hand tangles in my hair feels like you see me as nothing but a sin.

You bite and claw like I’m the last thing in this world you want to hold.

But the way you feel me is like something more than love, and you treat me as something untainted.

You make me cry in the most depraved and ungodly ways.

And I’m usually good with words but you dumb me down to incoherence.

And after, you leave me on this cold bathroom floor, im stuck with the thought of how I could be so impure.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

Content

Just go to bed I beg of you

Its not worth the rush

Not a single man alive

Could keep my voice to a hush

I disdain your affection

I cope with astral projection

In order for you to breathe

I have to suffocate me.

[m4n1c-m3rm41d]

Still in that house

For one person it was a long time ago and they are over it but for me im still in that house. I still see you everywhere I go when I turn my head your in my peripheral vision, when I close my eyes to sleep at night your right there waiting for me, when I stay up too late your there watching me at the end of my bed, you'll always be with me wherever I go because I am still in that house. when something happens in a show that slightly reminds me of you your there, when I look in the mirror your behind me, when I open my eyes in the morning your the first thing I see, when I lay my head down at night to sleep you will always be there waiting for me, I'm not comforted, I don't like it and I want you to leave me alone, but who am I without what you did to me, where would I go if I dident see you there, what would I be if I dident cross your path that day, if I dident go to that sleepover, if I dident make that friend, if I dident move house, if I just walked past you that day, if I just moved schools, if I didn't go out that day, would I still be so scared to be?