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Mhmm. Very soon, babe, but you know I can't wait until then...

I love you and miss you too, my love. But your break should be starting soon, right?

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I love you, babe... and I miss you so much.

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Mhmm! And a bunch of other teachers too who decided they needed an early retirement or something. I dunno, but there are a few new teachers. Not all too hot. Then again, no one really compares to Jack anymore. Nope. Oh fuck. Wouldn't wanna be on the wrong end of your sword! Hah! You don't think I'd defend them with my fucking live, Lauren?! You doubt meee?! Max Wilder?! HAH! I should toilet paper your apartment for that. Yeah... Firefuck was crazy. I miss her. I miss everyone- but again, I'm glad you and Miss Liz are still together. Ah, nahh. I'll be okay. I know how to seduce my wife and get her into bed easy. I just... have to make sure she's not pissed or tired. Mhmm. Nice escape plan! I mean, if I was ever arrested again, I don't think it'd work with me and Jack- well, I doubt she'd be up for making out in front of two pigs. FUCK YES. Thanks, Lauren!

Fuck everything.

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But that's why you fell for me, right, right? Well, soft Jack or not, I love you either way. I'd love you even if you turned blue or grew a tail. That'd be pretty fucking cool actually... Camille already a troublemaker?! Didn't think she'd take after me that quickly. Of course, babe! Our first walk as a family... I... fuck yes. FUCK YES. AS A FUCKING FAMILY. I- well, I can't argue with that! I just hope you're getting enough sleep, babe. You need it and you deserve it. Mhmm. 

Fuck everything.

You’re ridiculously stubborn, you know that? But marrying you and having Camille made me go soft, I guess. You can win this round. It’s not so much the dogs that’ll be too much trouble, it’s Camille. Either way, I’ll come with you four the first time you go out for a walk. I can’t miss the first time we get a chance to get some fresh air together as a family. Sweetheart, I’ll be up early anyway. My sleep schedule’s a little different from yours now. Or…my sleep habits. I’ll be awake sometime around when you have to be too. And if Camille’s awake and happy, maybe I’ll put on you speaker phone and she can hear you too while we try to wake you up. Sound good to you?

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Hah! Fucking fantastic! I bet it was pretty badass. I mean, you're walking away with one of the school's teachers too. I think that's pretty badass worthy. I wish I could do that... but I've got a baby and a wife to take care of now, and I don't want to leave all the working to Jack. Nope. I'll just... settle for this shit, but that... doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I doubt Jack'll let me do it, though. You know how she worries. I'll send you a picture once I get a clear one for sure! She's fucking adorable, Lauren. She's so beautiful and I just know she's going to grow up to be like Jack and I can't fucking wait. Though I would have to buy a gun to fend people off... but yeah! You better visit or I'll... dammit. You don't live at the school anymore... Eh, Master, huh? Pretty sure that's reserved for someone else. Eh, sort of. I mean, all last weekend, Jack and I barely had any alone time since we took turns taking care of the baby, but when did have free time, we were both exhausted, yknow? I'm sure I'll find a way to sneak soooomething in, though. Don't tell Jack.

Fuck everything.

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Jack graduated and I'm still at fucking school. I can't even help her take care of our baby 'cause of all this crap I have to do and the school says I have to stay on campus- but I'm trying to work around that rule. But yeah! We haven't and it's horrible! I sorta lost touch with everyone cause everyone left... but I mean- the baby's doing okay! My babe is too, mhmm. Oh- what?! That's fucking unfair! You gotta teach me, okay? Pleeeease? Please, please?! Pleaaaaase! I like rope too, but now Jack and I've got child- so I gotta be creative.

Fuck everything.

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Fuck yeah she would. Feisty. Just like her blonde momma! Pfft! Absolute lies, babe! You've been beautiful ever since I met you- dontcha remember? Being your wife just solidifies the fact and makes it ten billion times more true when it comes from my mouth. Mhmm. Though I don't doubt you'd kick my ass if I dare say anything else. Nope. Hah! I'll do my best, babe! I'll find a way. I'll even dig a fucking tunnel from the school to your apartment with a metal spoon if I have to. Easy access, yknow? Of course I can! I mean- how much trouble could they really be...? Mhmm! I mean, Maddison'll watch Pip, I'm sure. Even when he gets distracted and runs off by himself. Thanks, babe... you wont be too tired to call me so early, right? I mean, you do have to take care of Camille all by yourself and the rest of the adult things you have to do. You don't have to if you're busy or too tired, yknow?

Fuck everything.

If you say so. I bet she’d take a chunk out of him if he rolled over onto her anyway…same with you, but she loves you both all the same. Max, you’re my wife. You have to say that and I’d kick your ass if you ever did call me anything but that. Well…I’d like to think you’d be around to handle her by the time she gets as hyper as her adorable mom. You think you could really handle both of the dogs and Camille? I guess they’re both good pups, they wouldn’t run off the minute you had to tend to our baby…besides, I’m sure Camille would get a kick out of Pip and Maddison. I know, my love. But you’ll be exhausted in the morning when you’re up all night because you’re only sort of doing it. I’ll be calling you in the morning to make sure you’re up, just so you know.

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Mhmm. I'm so fucking jealous of you guys, though! I wish I could just do that with Jack... move in and spend as much time as I could with her and Camille. I'm glad you two are doing amazing, though! You guys really deserve it- plus, I'm glad I didn't have to kill anyone since I had my knives at the ready to strike down anyone who was going to punish you guys for your relationship. Mhmm. I've got some rope too, but- yknow, that's saved for someone and something else.

Fuck everything.