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Desk Companion: Day 98

I got another plant for my work desk, it dried and died over a weekend.

I brought it back home, and suddenly, it has leaves growing again.

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Desk Companion: Day 98

I got another plant for my work desk, it dried and died over a weekend.

I brought it back home, and suddenly, it has leaves growing again.

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Drawing Practice #009

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Drawing Practice #008

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Book Review #001

<Impro: Improvisation and The Theatre> by Keith Johnstone

We all have our own unique creativity within us, but often fear holds us back from unleashing it. We worry about being judged as lunatic or too edgy, and even doubt ourselves for not coming up with something groundbreaking enough. Do not deny your thoughts. Everyone has interesting weird thoughts. You don't need become lunatic and edgy to be creative, but don't try to suppress those ideas or pretend they don't exist. Accept your thoughts for what they are and let yourself be creative without fear of judgment. That's how you become creative.

This review was written while I wasn't focusing too much. If you are reading this, just take the message and don't dig too much.

I read this book in Korean.

I'm not familiar with the author nor the book. I was given this book by my "사수" or "SenPai" at work. He was a person who likes to gift books. He wrote a short letter on a blank page at the front of the book that he don't remember much of the content, but the concept of "Exchange of status", the fact that there always is difference of status between any group of more than two people, has left a strong impression on him. It's something that he would often think about at work.

Well, that's him. I also agree it's an interesting thought and it's a good tool to have in my pocket for social interaction, but thinking in such way is tiring, isn't it? I prefer to think of human interactions as "intention" and "desire" based. In my model of human interactions, good communication can reach the optimal result for both. It is not about who is higher or lower, and is about understanding each other's needs, and sometimes even one's own needs too.

My favorite part of this book was on creative thoughts, but let me correct my coworker's view on the "status" that the author was talking about. The way I took it is: "It is easier to make interesting human interactions if you keep in mind about the mechanics of the actors or the characters." After all, this book is about improvisational theatre. And I see that how it can help actors to put themselves in character with this approach.

In my favorite part when the author talks about how he was discouraged about his imaginations. There were mainly three reasons on why. The first thing that popped up in his mind felt either: - lunatic - edgy - or not creative enough I have been suffering about this for a long time too. Intrusive thoughts, curiosity and genuinely new thoughts have been punished by others but mostly by myself. The fear of being judged and ridiculed couldn't overcome my desire to explore anything.

The author continues to blame the schooling system for growing us as these "socially acceptable" and restrictive people. I can understand why he might think so, but I do not agree completely. Those intrusive thoughts should also learn to cope with the society and to be considerate and helpful to others too. I would agree that the school systems do too much to restrict us, but you shouldn't let them kill your thoughts.

The reason why I like about this part is because I felt understood and I felt I found solution. We all have unacceptable thoughts, and although we try our best to not show them, we sometimes actually like to see the ideas released. We don't have to embrace the edgy thoughts, but shouldn't shy away from it. Just accept your thoughts. And you don't have to try too hard to become "creative" your thoughts are already unique, even if they look plain on the surface.

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Desk Companions day 50

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Drawing Practice #7

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Drawing Practice #6 -> AI enhanced

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Drawing Practice #6

Something I always wanted to try drawing. Natural landscape

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Desk companions day1

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Drawing Practice #005

Some more of the #004

(For better contrast... for better contrast...🫣)

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Drawing Practice #004

Some drawings during a boring mock-up test.

I am embarrassed about some of them, but it would make great contrast once I become better 😉

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Drawing Practice #003

Some more drawings from my past

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Drawing Practice #002

These are some of my old drawings

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Music Practice #001

I've always wondered how music can create such vivid emotions. I watched music theory videos and read some about it, and tried to get down and create my own.

There was a problem. I didn't know how to execute the theory. I had played flute for several years in my childhood, and I could read some sheets, but flute usually has only one line, and the keys and scales didn't really matter to me as a kid focusing on performing.

Now I am trying to learn the basics of piano and kets and scales, how to play and mix them.

I believe in repetition and practice, and I believe creativity can be acquired only when you stand on the mountain of practice and proficiency. My creativity in music will grow as I practice using them and listening to them when I want to, not after practicing my small bit for 3hours. That will significantly slow down my creative process.

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Drawing Practice #001

It got really boring after the third one, but I believe in repetition, so I pushed on.

The drawings are not great, and my lines weren't clean, but I am hoping practices will give me more insights and control as I keep practicing.

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My thoughts on religions

This is my story about how "God's love" can exist even when "God" does not exist in your world.

I am not an atheist nor a religious person. Maybe a bit closer to an atheist. I hope this post finds way to your heart or head, no matter what your belief is.

I grew up with a science-oriented social group that valued facts and logic over faith. Some people might argue about the correlation, but in my opinion, my environment was easier for me to dislike religious ideas.

Ironically, my logical thinking made me reconsider if my negative attitude toward religions was justified. I began to question the validity of the conflict between science and religion. I realized that I had been dismissing religion as illogical without really understanding its beliefs and values. I decided to adopt a more neutral and curious perspective. A novel that influenced me in this decision was "Life of Pi", which showed me the power of faith.

I tried to immerse myself to religion. I enjoyed the teachings of Buddhism and the meditations at temples. Their philosophy of meaninglessness and impermanence made sense and changed the way I think.

I joined various Christiaan events while serving in the Navy. I tried praying, learning the Bibles. I learned a lot about what the religions are and how the people in the group are like.

I wasn't able to fully immerse myself into it even through all that. But there was another milestone in my religious journey. Any atheist readers, please hear me out.

My mother had been diagnosed of a serious illness and our family was desperate to get the best medical service as soon as we can. The initial few tests took two to three weeks just to confirm and learn about her state. Getting her to find a doctor, then getting a surgery scheduled was bound to take even longer.

We were fortunate to have my aunt’s help. One of my paternal aunts had a close relationship with my mom and was a well-known donor of a great medical facility in Seoul. She also wanted my mom to recover faster as much as we did. Thanks to her generosity, we got priority on the waiting list for my mom’s treatment.

As a side note, I also had doubts on whether we were right to take it. I knew we were taking advantage, but I couldn’t help wanting the best for my mother — what son wouldn’t? My aunt had earned our priority by donating to the hospital for years, which must have benefited many other patients. And I would have no hard feelings if someone else did the same as we did.

Back to the original story, I got to talk more with my aunt. She told me she had so many hard times, including her own illness. Multiple of them. She confessed that she even had some tragic thoughts. But the thing that saved her from her misery was God.

I didn't have the opportunity to hear all her stories of how God has helped her. But anyone listening to her story would believe that it was God's love that has saved us. Even an atheist can understand this God and the miracle he bestowed on my aunt and my family.

Let me make this clearer to the fellow atheists without actually mentioning an almighty being. My aunt have had similar illness, on top of that, more agony and despicable events thrown at her. Fortunately, she was in a group who believed in love and in helping others. The eternal love in this group has saved her life. The love radiated through my aunt and reached my mom.

If it wasn't for the love of the Christian people, who knows what would happened to my aunt? If it wasn't for the love of Christianity, what would have happened to my mom? Without my aunt? The love, the love in those people that many believe is from God. Like a shining golden ray through the dark clouds, it shined upon my aunt, my mom, and me.

It doesn't matter even if you don't believe the existence of God. It doesn't matter if you call those people fools for believing something blindly. The love they have created within them is real. The "love of God" has reached me and affected my life.

I still cannot believe an almighty being(s), even after trying and being open minded. Even than, God's love is real. If I were to deny that after what happened to me, that would be stupid, isn't it?

I think there is absolute beauty to it too. How people have created such an almighty force and started radiating positivity that only a real God could match with.