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mrsevans1328 · 7 years ago

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#10: “Are you upset with me?” //Shawn Mendes Fic

Request: @cave2687

Summary: Reader and Shawn have been having some issues lately. Shawn has been very distant with Reader. Will they make up and stay together? Or is this the beginning of the end for them?

**Note: Hey everyone, I’m sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I’ve been having a rough time lately, and honestly haven’t been in the mood to do pretty much anything. But I promised you guys I would get these written, so I’m trying to push through. Also, this story-line hits close to home for me, so it was really difficult to write certain parts of this. I hope you enjoy! Love you all xxx

Word count: 4,167

Prompt Masterlst

“I Want you close to me, I want you close, I want you closer.

But when you’re here with me, it’s hard to tell just what you’re after.

You say you want all of me today,

But tomorrow’s not the same. My feelings never change.

What do you want from me? What do you want, huh?

I need to know, if this is mutual,

Before I go, and get way too involved.

I want you bad, can you reciprocate?

No I don’t want to have to leave, but half of you is not enough for me.

This inconsistency, what does it mean? You have me questioning,

The way you act and take it back. Do I mean anything?

Just tell me honestly.

You say, you want all of me today,

But tomorrow’s not the same. My feelings never change.

What do you want from me? What do you want, huh?

I need to know, if this is mutual,

Before i go, and get way too involved.

I want you bad, can you reciprocate?

No I don’t want to have to leave, but half of you is not enough for me.

Are you playing me? Is this a game?

When you show up late, say love at 2 am.

Then you tell me you can’t stay. Oh, yeah

What do you want from me?

Baby, oh I need to know, if this is mutual,

Before I go, and get too involved.

I want you bad baby, can you reciprocate?

No I don’t want to have to leave, but half of you is not enough for me.”

The last chord fades in the room, your fingers still gripping the neck of your guitar while you wait nervously to hear y/bf/n’s reaction to the song you just wrote. As soon as you finished it, you called her and asked to sing it for her, knowing she will give you the honest truth.

“What’s it called, y/n?” she asks through the other line, you phone sitting next to the sheet music you have spread all over the bed in front of you.

You chew on the corner of your lip in thought, “I haven’t decided 100 percent yet, but I’m liking the name Mutual.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but this song is honestly one of the best you’ve written. I just hate that you are going through this in order to have the inspiration for it.” Y/bf/n says after a few minutes of silence.

You sigh, the thought of Shawn’s recent behavior causing you to have major anxiety. He’s been very distant with you. Coming home late, going right to sleep and leaving before you wake up in the morning. You try to talk to him, but he never seems to be interested in conversation, so you gave up trying. You’d spend many nights awake, unable to sleep, trying to figure out why he’s acting like this. Making yourself sick to your stomach with thoughts like “Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore, and doesn’t want to tell me”, or “Maybe he’s cheating on me, maybe he found someone better than me.” Even just thinking of the possibilities makes your eyes water and throat clog up.

The front door closing shut, breaking you from your little pity party. Shawn’s home early, ish. It’s almost midnight, but he normally hasn’t been getting home until around 2 am. Maybe even later.

Scrambling to clean up the scattered papers on the bed before Shawn reaches the bedroom, “Hey, he just got home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?” Y/bf/n answers with a quick “Sure,” before you say bye and hang up.

You just manage to get the papers shoved under the bed and sit back on the bed with the guitar on your lap when the bedroom door opens, Shawn walking in. You try to act casual, like you have been sitting there just fiddling with your favorite guitar, a cherry red acoustic, plucking random chords.

“Still practicing?” It’s been forever since you’ve heard that raspy voice that when he asked you that question, you didn’t know how to react, shock coursing through you. When you and Shawn first met, you were a back-up dancer for Taylor Swift on her tour. You two hit it off pretty easily, being only a few months apart from each other in age. Shawn’s tour manager wanted Shawn to do more dancing in his opening performances for Taylor, but Shawn couldn’t dance to save his life. So you agreed to teach him to dance for his next tour, if he agreed to teach you how to play guitar. One thing led to another, and now you have been together for 2 years. Your anniversary is tomorrow, or rather today since it’s past midnight at this point.

Finally finding your voice, you manage to stutter out a reply of, “Oh.. uh, ye-yeah. Got n-nothing better to d-do.” Frowning at your own actions, you scold yourself for stuttering. You only stutter when you speak to people you aren’t comfortable around or don’t know that well, or when your anxiety is high. He’s your boyfriend, he shouldn’t feel like a stranger.

Peeking at Shawn, you notice his body stiffen at your stuttered words, taking mental note of the small crinkles between his brows before they vanish, as if they were never there to begin with. After a few moments, he continues to change clothes, acting like nothing just happened. It hurt to think that he didn’t care enough to ask what was wrong.

You feel the back of your eyes burn with tears, but before you can let them spill, you stand and put the guitar back on the rack hanging from the wall of the room. “H-How’s the album c-coming along?” You ask, trying to make small talk, the tension in the air suffocating you.

“Huh?” Shawn raises an eyebrow before realization hitting him, “Oh, the new album. Um, its fine.” Shawn’s sentences are choppy, cut short and dry. The lack of emotion in his voice causing your fragile heart to squeeze in your chest. You take that as your que to stop talking, his disinterest in the conversation obvious.

“I- uh, I’m gonna go watch a movie or something in the living room. That way I-I’m not bothering you while you sleep..” Your voice trails off at the end, not knowing what to do or say anymore. You see him sink onto the bed, giving you a small grunt in reply. As you’re walking out the door, you turn the light off for him and mumble under your breath, “Happy anniversary.” a single tear slipping down your cheek. You weren’t expecting him to reply, even if he could hear you, so you don’t bother to stick around waiting for one.

“Such a great start to what is supposed to be a happy day,” you think to yourself while you wrap your favorite blanket around yourself, silently crying yourself to sleep with y/f/m playing softly in the background.

~Shawn’s POV~

I woke up to my alarm at 5 am, a big day ahead of me. I sit up in bed and look over to see y/n’s side still made, no sign of her anywhere. I frown, wondering why she didn’t come to bed last night after her movie. Getting dressed quickly, i make my way to the living room, finding her curled up on the couch in her favorite blanket, the main menu of y/f/m rolling on repeat on the tv. She must have fallen asleep during the movie last night. Walking over to where she’s laying, I pick up the remove and turn the tv off before turning to y/n to carry her to bed where she will be more comfortable. As I pick her up in my arms bridal style, I notice her eyes are slightly puffy, and her cheeks look flushed. Upon further inspection of her face while I take her back upstairs to our room, I see the bags under her eyes and the smeared makeup. Was she crying? Is that why her makeup is smeared? From wiping under her eyes? That would explain her puffy eyes and slightly red cheeks. Why was she crying?

I set her down softly on her side of the bed, tucking her under the covers and sitting on the edge of the bed gently, careful not to wake her. Moving her hair from her face, I lean down to kiss her forehead. As I sit back up straight, I see a corner of a paper peeking out from under the bed. My curiosity getting the better of me, I bend down and pull the paper out fully to see it’s not just paper, it’s sheet music. Skimming over the music written in y/n’s easily identifiable handwriting, it seems to be only part of a piece. Kneeling down next to the bed, my hand reaches into the dark space, searching for more sheets. I pull out everything I can find and lean my back against the side of the bed, checking to make sure y/n is still asleep before shuffling the papers around on the floor in front of me like pieces to a puzzle, trying to put the unnumbered pages in the correct order according to the lyrics.

Once I have them all in, what I’m assuming is the correct order, my heart breaks while reading through it. Did she really feel this way? Is that why she was crying last night? Because she thought I didn’t love her anymore? My stomach sank and the thought of her crying herself to sleep over me. How could I not have noticed? How long has she felt like this? So many thoughts were running through my mind at once, causing my head and heart to ache at the same time. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed, I’ve been so busy the last month trying to get things prepared for today that I’ve made her feel unloved.

With a new determination fueling me, I jump to my feet after putting the sheet music back where I found it. Leaning down to kiss y/n’s forehead one more time, I whisper to her sleeping form. “I’m so sorry babygirl. I’m going to make this up to you, I promise.”

Checking my phone, I mentally curse at myself for losing track of time. I have 15 minutes to get to the dance studio on the other side of town. I rush out the door as quietly as I can, dialing y/bf/n as I pull out of the driveway, hearing her pick up on the third ring.

“Hey, meet me at the dance studio.”

~Y/N’s POV~

You wake up around 8:30 am, your eyes dry and head pounding from crying yourself to sleep. Rolling over, you notice you aren’t on the couch anymore, but in bed with your blanket still wrapped around you. Confused as to how you got here, you sit up. Shrugging, you figured you got up last night to come to bed and don’t remember. You trudge downstairs to take something for your headache and eat something. Popping a bagel in the toaster and pulling out the cream cheese, you hear your phone ringing from the coffee table in the living room. You race over to pick it up before the calls ends, the blanket around your neck flapping behind you like a cape.

“Hello?” Forgetting to check the caller ID in your rush to answer the phone, you had no clue who was calling you this early in the morning.

You hear the unforgettable voice of your best friend on the other line. “Hey, Alex wants to run over the choreography for the music video today. She wants everyone at the studio by 5 for warm ups. She has a few meetings today, which is why it’s so late. I was thinking I could come over at around 12:30, we can go grab lunch, then go shopping to kill time?” Y/bf/n says cheerfully. She has always been more of a morning person than you.

“I don’t know, Y/bf/n. I’m not really feeling like doing anything today. I’ll be at rehearsal, but im not feeling up to shopping.” You chew on your lip, another anxious habit of yours.

“Please, Y/n. We haven’t hung out in a while, I miss you. Plus, shopping will help you feel better. It’s practically therapeutic.” She all but begs, and you can even hear the pout in her voice, knowing she’s giving you the puppy eyes.

You sigh, feeling your resolve slowly fade. That’s all she needs, knowing she’s won and cheering by herself. “I’ll be over in a few hours. Don’t forget to pack your dance bag.” Saying your goodbyes, you hang up and go back to making your breakfast.

~Skip to 12:30~

You hear a car honk twice outside, your signal that y/bf/n is here to pick you up. Grabbing your dance bag, keys, and phone, you walk out the front door, making sure it’s locked behind you before climbing into y/bf/n’s car.

She leans over and gives you a hug, then lets you buckle up as she pulls out and heads towards town. “Have you heard anything from Shawn today?”

You roll your eyes, even on your anniversary, he still acts as if you don’t exist. “He was gone when i woke up this morning, like normal. Haven’t even gotten a text.” The mention of him forgetting your anniversary instantly puts you in a bad mood. “Can we not talk about him while we are out, please? This is supposed to be helping me cheer up, not reminding me why I’m upset to begin with.”

Y/bf/n glances at you out of the corner of her eyes, focusing on the road. “Sure, where do you want to eat?” Already heading towards your favorite fast food place.

“As if you have to ask.” You joke, trying to lighten the mood.

Pulling out of Chick-Fil-A drive through, you have the biggest smile on your face. You love their spicy chicken sandwiches. Who would have thought to put pickles on a chicken sandwich? Only Chick-Fil-A. As y/bf/n drives in the direction of the mall, you dig out her sandwich and fries for her so she can eat and drive at the same time. Digging into your own food, you practically moan as the deliciousness melts in your mouth.

Once the car is parked in the mall parking lot, you two finish up your food before heading inside, throwing your trash out on your way in.

“Where to first?” You ask, stopping in front of the map of the mall they have posted at every entrance. Looking to y/bf/n, you see her grin evilly and instantly get nervous. “Oh no.” You barely make out before you are dragged into the first store you see.

~Skip to 3:45 pm~

“Are we almost done? The studio is on the other side of town and I’d like to have time to stretch before warm ups.” You whine at y/bf/n, tired of shopping already. It’s never been one of your favorite things to do, but you agreed to it because y/bf/n knows how to manipulate you, in a best friend sort of way.

“Just one more store, then we can leave.” She says, pulling you into one last store. This shop had a lot of really nice dresses, shoes, tops, skirts, accessories, etc. Basically anything you need for a formal/semi-formal event, this place will have it. Y/bf/n absolutely loves this place, and even though you aren’t exactly a big fan of shopping, even you had to admit they have a lot of nice dresses.

Deciding you might as well kill time while you wait for y/bf/n to finish her escapade, you walk around, checking out dresses and shoes. Fingering through a rack of cocktail dresses, you come across this black strapless dress. It had a heart shape bust with a lace overlay. A thin silver belt separated the bust from the skirt. The skirt had multiple layers of thin black tool that gave it some volume, the very bottom layer being soft silk against your skin so the tool doesn’t scratch and irritate you.

All in all, the dress is stunning, so you pull it from the rack and run off to find y/bf/n to show her. Finding her by the shoes, as if she can sense you coming, she turns around and sees you holding up the dress, proud of your find.

“OMG, that is gorgeous! You have to try that on!!” You and y/bf/n gush over the dress while you scour the shelves to find shoes to go with it. She manages to find the perfect pair of silver sparkly heels, and you two dash off to the dressing rooms.

As soon as you put the dress on, you fall even more in love with the dress. You walk out to show y/bf/n and her eyes practically fall out of her head. “You are getting it, I don’t care how much it costs.”

“I don’t even have any reason to buy it, it’s not like i’ll be going out on a hot date any time soon.” You remind her, getting upset again.

“You are buying the dress, even if I have to take you on a date myself! Now go change so we can pay and get out of here.” With a playful eye roll, you turn back to the changing rooms and put your other clothes on before heading to check out and leaving.

By the time y/bf/n pulls up to the studio, its 4:30. Both of you jump out of the car and rush inside to get dressed and stretched out before 5. When you walk in, everyone else is already there and either chatting or stretching. You say your hellos and walk into the locker room, changing into your dance clothes, not having to worry about your hair since you put it into two french braids after your shower this morning.

Leaving your bags in your normal lockers, you and y/bf/n walk out to the main studio and start stretching, chatting with some of the other dancers. At 10 minutes before 5, you guys all start running through warm ups. Doing pieces of old routines to get your muscles moving and loose. After a few warm ups, someone suggested running through the routine for the music video before Alex gets there, most likely running late in her last meeting seeing as it was almost 5:15 and she still wasn’t there yet. You all get into your starting positions, waiting for the music to start. Once the music does start, you notice its the wrong song.

You recognize the song as Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur (A/N: if you click this link, it should take you to a YouTube video that shows the choreography that I’m referencing. if the link doesn't work. then open YouTube and search “Say You Won't Let Go (Dance Video) - James Arthur | @ besperon Choreography”.) and look around confused. When the other dancers start moving, you instantly notice the choreography, it’s your choreography that you used in your audition for Taylor Swift’s Tour, the one you met Shawn on. Speaking of Shawn, he walks out of the men’s locker room, a headset mic taped to his face, and he’s singing the lyrics while moving to stand with you in the middle of the studio floor, the rest of the dancers moving around you two in time to the song.

By the time he got to the second verse, you had tears in your eyes. He stopped singing, but his voice still filled the room, probably a recording. “Dance with me?” Shawn asked, a smile on his face as the rest of the dancers moved to the walls of the room. ( A/N: She starts dancing with Shawn at the 1:30 mark of the video until the end)

Your body moves on it’s own, the choreography committed to memory from the multiple months you worked on this piece and practiced, you’d probably be able to dance this piece in your sleep. After the choreography was done, Shawn continued to sing the rest of the song, holding you close, both of you with tears in your eyes.

As the song slowly fades, everyone else in the room starts to cheer. “I’m so so so sorry for how I’ve been acting. I wasn’t meaning to make you feel abandoned or unloved. The truth is I love you more than life itself. My absence this last month and a half was because of this. I spent extra hours in the studio, recording my own music, but also working on this song. I would get up at 4 am every day so i could come here and learn the choreography. We both know I’m not the world’s best dancer, which means every chance I got, I was running over the work. I was so focused on making sure this was perfect for today, I guess I neglected the woman this was all for. And I am so sorry, baby.” Shawn was full on crying by the end of his small rant, his hands on your waist. Your heart was swelling, he didn’t forget your anniversary. He put so much effort into making sure today was as special as possible. He learned the choreography to your audition, the audition that landed you a spot on Taylor’s tour. The tour where you two met.

Because of your mental tyrade, you forgot to say anything, tears falling freely down your cheeks. But for the first time in a long time, they were out of happiness, not pain.

Shawn wiped your cheek, the simple motion pulling you from your own thoughts, his own chocolate eyes watching you closely, “Are you upset with me?”

Unable to speak, you pulled him into a deep loving kiss by the back of his neck. When the kiss was finally broke, Shawn had a soft smile on his face, relieved you weren’t mad at him for his behavior.

He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a small red box. “I know I’ve been a crappy boyfriend to you lately. And I don’t deserve for you to forgive me so easily. But if you allow me, I promise to show you what love feels like. I promise to cherish every moment with you. I promise to never take you for granted. And I promise to one day make you my wife. But only if you promise to do the same. So, what do you say?”

Shawn opens the small box to display the most beautiful promise ring. A thin silver band holding a delicate treble clef, and in the corner a small diamond stone. In complete awe, your y/e/c eyes flick between the man standing before you and the beautiful ring in his hand.

The biggest smile plastered itself to your face and the words, “I promise,” fell from your lips. Shawns lips instantly found yours in a kiss filled with love and passion. He slips the ring on your hand and the room erupts into cheers once more.

“One more, surprise, we are going out for dinner to celebrate not only our anniversary, but also this wonderful moment,” Shawn explains, placing a small kiss to the top of your hand.

“Shawn, I don't have anything to wear. All I have is my dance clothes that smell like body odor now and the clothes i wore here.” You explain just as you see y/bf/n walk into the room, holding your dress and shoes you bought at the mall. “Oh, I hate you both,” You say playfully, giving Shawn one last kiss before running off to the locker rooms with y/bf/n to get ready, suddenly thankful you put your hair in braids earlier so it will be wavey when you undo them. Y/bf/n helps you get ready, making small talk while she does your makeup that she brought with her and explaining that she recorded the whole thing for you. You ask her to send it to you and she agrees. Once you’re fully dressed and ready to go, y/bf/n gives you a hug, and you walk out to see Shawn in a simple tux.

His jaw drops when he sees you. “You look gorgeous, y/n. Ready to go?” He kisses your cheek softly and takes your hand in his, leading you out the door and to his car that you just realized was only a few parking spots away from where you and y/bf/n parked.

“Oh, and by the way, Happy Anniversary baby.” Shawn kisses you one more time, a soft and sweet gesture before opening your door.

~~THE END~~

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