muddy-pointless-and-hilarious

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

did you have pumpkins/pumpkin carving traditions?

Nothin’ special, but occasionally my ma would bring me to pick up a pumpkin and we’d carve it up and roast the seeds.

I didn’t particularly like the taste, but it was nice to spend time with my ma.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

You hanging in there?

Sort of? It’s… definitely been a bit of an adjustment. I’m pretty sure I’m hundreds or even thousands of years before the year I died. Technology is almost primitive, the air quality seems way better though.

I wish I could find Tim. I’d even settle for that Jonny guy or his weird friend that I’m pretty sure wasn’t fully human.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

*throws u off a cliff*

Ow, what the fuck?

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

what was the war like?

It was a war, take a wild fucking guess. Tim was a rather bright spot, but the constant fearing for our lives and the fact that I died sort of overruled that.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

Where are you now?

Not sure? Looks like somewhere on Earth, but not the Earth I know. And the moon seems fully intact, contrary to what I’ve been told.

Maybe I’m on a different planet? Everyone here seems human, though, so I’m not sure.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

Oh, well, that’s good I suppose, because Tim blew it up. The moon, I mean. It’s gone now. Tim’s alive, though!

Tim’s alive? Th-that’s amazing! I need- wait, he fucking what?

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

Is Bertie short for something? Bertrude?

To be honest, I don’t fully remember. I’ve been called Bertie for pretty much my entire life. Possible its short for somethin, but I couldn’t tell you what it would be short for.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

So, uh, how attached were you to the moon? As like an object, not the government entity.

…not particularly attached, I guess. Is there a reason you’re asking? Seems kinda strange.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

What’s the last thing you remember?

I…I remember Tim and I, we had just come out of a battle when we heard the gas alarms. There were a couple bodies by us that had respirators on, and we grabbed them.

We put the respirators on and dropped into a ditch together, but I think mine must’ve had some sort of crack or break, and the pumps must not have been working properly, because after that everything is black.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

hello! i thought you were dead?

I-I think I was for a while? I’m not… entirely sure how I’m back. Or if I’m fully back at all.

[muddy-pointless-and-hilarious]

Intro Post

This is a blog run by @poly-mechanisms, and based on my interpretation of the character Bertie from the song Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser by The Mechanisms!

i am not associated with The Mechanisms in any way, this is simply for fun.