myshadowtiltsitsheadatme

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

i dont know whats wrong with me but i wish i could love properly. its hard to really feel it when im so worried that everyone hates me and will leave me. when you say im not loving them properly it makes me feel broken. if im not loving properly what stopping everyone from leaving? what makes me worthy of them?? i know im being irrational and that something is wrong with me. i know i need help. but i dont want it from some shrink. i want if from the people who i hide this pain from but i dont let them look at me too closely so i dont scare them away

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

i dont know if anything i have is real

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

is she flirting or just being silly we will never know

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

my bloods the only reason im staying. who would volunteer to deal with this? nobody. ill keep it inside so im only burdening myself because i cant drag you into this too

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

what do i do? ive never felt this way before. i must have snapped like the rubberband on my wrist

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

expanding on my last post, this account is a cry for help no one will ever hear

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

i know they really dont but it kind of feels like everyone hates me so ill self isolate until they miss me or i drown in my own misery. ill make you miss me. ill make you see how much im really struggling. if anyone sees this no you didnt but yes you did because i need you to

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

now that you're gone, what else is there to hold onto? my feet are hanging from a ledge and im slowly slipping off, like rain dripping south. shaken off by a shock of thunder, screaming on the way down.

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

clingy

the distance is killing me, i dont think we're what we used to be. thank god, figurative distances are immeasurable. sooner or later, our dreams will shift and drift apart. you didnt need me like i need you, or at least you dont anymore. how would you feel if i were to set us all free? i'm always searching for and needing affirmations, constantly clinging and seeking that affection. I dont know where to go, whose eyes to meet in a silent plea. you should know me well enough to see it by now. so until i find you again, when im bloody and battered and bruised, or im crumpled over, or someone holds me back, ill keep running into my own brick walls, grasping for a hand to drag me up and medicate these ulcers.

[myshadowtiltsitsheadatme]

mini intro ^_^

im just going 2 yap on here idgaf if anyone sees this as long as they dont know me irl. a short little about me:

im in highschool and im a genderqueer lesbian. i struggle with anxiety and depression, and i have adhd and probable autism, so thats mostly what im going to write about i guess?

i look up a lot to lyricists like vic fuentes, gerard way, pete wentz, and tyler joseph (obviously!) so u might see that i write kinda like them :3