nikiexe0

[nikiexe0]

They are whispering🫢💞

[nikiexe0]

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

“Bruce doesn’t know how to cook” “Bruce doesn’t make his own bed” have you considered the possibility that Bruce knows how to do all of those things but lets Alfred do them anyway because if he doesn’t, the whole Manor falls apart?

Bruce lets Alfred make the bed because after the close call with Killer Croc last night it’s either crisp folded sheets pressed to perfection OR Alfred goes deep into the Gotham sewers with a rifle, a belt of flash-bangs, and 30 years of unresolved overprotectiveness.

let the man cook. literally, please let him cook something.

[nikiexe0]

Batfam headcanon ×2

Been thinking abt the fact I didn't really know much about my parents as *persons*. So, what if the batkids just suddenly realized this?

Jason and Tim: *talking about a certain band*

Bruce, just woke up: *enters the room*

Bruce:

Bruce: Oh yeah, I have been to their concerts before, I have some.of their vinils and everything *leaves*

Jason and Tim:

Jason: WHAT THE FU—

Something similar happens when the batkids suddenly get into an argument about ice skating and it comes to light that Bruce can, in fact skate. It also happens with other things.

Batkids: *hanging out in the livingroom, just existing with each other*

Bruce: *happy he is bonding with his kids*

Jason: *starts talking about his time in the LoA*

Tim: *also talks with his experiences with the LoA and also with Lady Shiva*

Damian: *follows their lead*

Bruce, listening quietly: Oh yeah, Ra's has barely changed across the years, huh?

Batkids: ?

Bruce:

Bruce: Did I not tell you I trained with the league?

Batkids, minus Damian: *sounds of bafflement and outrage*

Dick, whispering: now so much makes sense

Damian: I thought this was common knowledge

[nikiexe0]

Bloodborne :goddler:

But ilysm since hurt Bruce and his protective flock of kids would always be my Roman Empire

here is a painted doodle thing I did for a request– injured Bruce and protective Dickie in the middle of a snowstorm. Dick’s wearing Batman’s cape to cover them both *c*

I vaguely remember something similar happening in canon once lol

[nikiexe0]

The thought of Battinson being a father is so near and dear to me, but particularly? Him with a Jason. Mother cat with her incredibly volatile kitten who acquired a gun.

Their emotional brain cells are fighting for third place. And losing. Absolutely pathetic, terminally co-dependent motherfuckers.

Bruce cannot articulate his love to save his life, but what he WILL do is quote Macbeth and Hamlet at him, and Jason will respond cause he's a loser like that.

They have a secret handshake. Jason using tasers and fists instead of guns, keeping a tight lock on the firearms market, glaring down police officers until they put their pieces away in the Bat’s presence.

They invented their own code words. They hold hands when they cross the street. Bruce sits through a dramatic slam poetry session for two hours with 3 bullets in his stomach and claps at the end.

Jason sneaks into Bruce’s room and tries on his clothes and his shoes and the cape. Bruce catches him. Non-verbally, they agree to never bring it up.

Unfortunately, they’re eachother’s favorite people.

[nikiexe0]

Imagine the kids are mad at Bruce because he couldn't be a decent father (for them at least) and they say mean things to him and expressing their hate and Bruce is barely holding back his tears before swallowing. Then dick not being able to take it anymore got Carried away and punched Bruce while Bruce is there just accepting it.

The kids are too angry to even feel bad btw

Them heading out and exiting the manor, Bruce breathing harshly before collapsing in to a sobbing mess once they were gone.

———

A week passed, the kids avoiding Bruce and not meeting him except on patrol and that was also scarce. Then them getting called into an all hands on deck justice League mission

The mission were as usual - high-stakes action, life-threatening danger. Batman saw an alien aiming for Nightwing and did not even think before jumping in front of his son. Just as Bruce took the hit that pierced through his abdomen, they were hit by a spell zattana casted and was sent to the manor, but something was different. the place was cleaner and far more cold and Lifeless than any of them remembered.

they were barely able to think about that as they heard Bruce cough and the blood pooling beneath him, Bruce curling and trying to make himself smaller because he didn't want to upset his kids and make them hate him even more

Them hearing a clatter of a tray falling to the ground and seeing a man that's unmistakably alfred, far younger then they had ever seen him. Hair still without an ounce of white and hands steady without tremors.

In the moment they froze, a deep voice broke through, a middle aged man with a moustache was standing by the grand staircase, brows furrowed, he looked exactly like Bruce yet different, him asking with a booming voice

"who in the hell are you?"

The kids recognized him from the potraits on the manors hallway as Thomas Wayne, Bruce's father.

Ps: Thomas here is cold and stern btw :3

Thomas feeling anger and confusion as these strangers showed up in his house but deciding to push it back for now and focus on stabilizing Bruce, his voice Stern and cold with the precision of the surgeon he is

(He was a tad bit abusive and neglectful as a parent so he was mad at Bruce instinctively)

( i feel like the younger Bruce in here is still about 6 years old)

Them moving Bruce to a guest room and suddenly the sound of small footsteps could be heard, a young boy peeked his head outside the door, it was none other than Bruce himself, tho the kids didn't have time to look at him longer as Thomas snapped at the boy,

"what the hell are you doing here?! Scram before I make you, don't you know not to disturb when I'm busy?"

Little Bruce flinched hard as he apologized repeatedly and was pulled away by a woman who looked like martha, the woman chiding Thomas for his harsh words, saying they were un needed, Thomas just huffed and continued working on older Bruce.

The kids eyes widening as they saw what had just happened before them, the picture perfect image of Thomas Wayne as a loving and kind parent shattering right before their eyes

🧍‍♀️

Lemme know in the comments if you guys want a part 2👉👈

(Also I know I'm not creative since it's always Bruce had a fight with his kids then something bad happens but there's just too many ways to hurt him and idk why I really like hurt bruce..)

[nikiexe0]

Please, watch Kpop Demon Hunters

[nikiexe0]

“Do you want to make a stop for Batburger?”

[Incoherent concussed Jason noises]

[nikiexe0]

You know how the Robins were trained to be able to fight enemies way bigger than them, since they started really young and also were taught by Batman (a Very Big Guy)?

It just occured to me that the reverse is also true: Batman is very good at fighting very short enemies.

I wonder if it ever came up.

Like if someone was trying to use their smaller size to their advantage and surprise Batman but it's just. Impossible. There is no move his little hypercompetent gremlins didn't already try against him.

[nikiexe0]

Batman: Dark Patterns #7 - "Pareidolia" (2025)

written by Dan Watters art by Hayden Sherman & Triona Farrell

[nikiexe0]

I know there are a lot of fanfics about Jason being caught by the Justice League and usually getting bailed out by the batfam, but imagine if it was Brucie Wayne bailing him out:

In the JL interrogation room:

Superman: Alright, Red Hood, who is your supplier helping you move drugs in Star City?

Red Hood, who was undercover investigating a drug ring and got caught in a JL bust and sesnses an opportunity to mess with Batman: Look, I know you guys aren't cops, but can I get at least get one phone call?

Justice league looking skeptical?

Red Hood: You can even monitor it.

Green Arrow: Fine one phone call, but it will be monitored.

Hands Hood a phone

Red Hood: Hey Dad, I got stopped by the Justice League. Could you come bail me out? Really, okay, see you soon. Okay, my Dad said that he would bail me, so could we go over to the teleporters?

Green Arrow: Okay, firstly, we aren't cops, you can't just post bail and get out. Secondly, how would this "Dad" get up here?

Red Hood: You'll see.

Minutes later, Brucie Wayne walks in with a trail of Heroes, trying to explain why he cannot be at the Watchtower.

Superman: Mr. Wayne what are you doing here and how did you get here?

Bruce laying the Brucie persona on thick: Well as one of the Justice League's biggest doners and tech suppliers I have access to the teleporters, as for why I'm here it's to bail out my son. Hi Jaylad!

Red Hood fully expecting Batman: What?

Green Arrow remembering his friend's grief over loosing Jason: Ummmm, Mr. Wayne this is the Red Hood. You know "Bag full of severed heads" Red Hood.

Brucie: Yes, I know he's had some issues with his big feelings, but he's still my sweet little boy.

Superman: And you think that he's your late son Jason Todd?

Brucie: Yes, Batman even confirmed it was him. It turns out that after he died, he was brought back by an organization that planned on using him as a weapon against Batman. But he left them and has been working to improve Crime Alley, I'm so proud of him.

Green Arrow: We caught him in Star City with Drug runners.

Brucie: I'm sure he has a good explanation, don’t you Jaylad?

Red Hood still reeling from Bruce showing up as Brucie and not Batman: I was undercover?

Brucie: See perfectly reasonable, now can I please have my baby boy back? Alfred will be so upset if he's not home for dinner.

Surprisingly, this works , the Justice League is to stunned by this revelation and later confirm this with Batman that yes, the notorious Red Hood is the son of Billionaire, philanthropist airhead Brucie Wayne. Jason, meanwhile, has suffered a huge blow to his cred in the Hero community because of the association with Brucie instead of the Batfam. The bat siblings do not let this go anytime soon.

[nikiexe0]

Bruce high on pain meds lying on the couch

Jason: I’m gonna a straight answer here B-man. Who’s your favorite?

Bruce: Stephanie

Jason: What The Fuck?!?!

Dick: Jay he’s high as a fucking kite. Nothing he’s gonna say is gonna make sense.

Jason: Fuck that! I need answers

Jason: Bruce, why is Steph your favorite?

Bruce: Because she didn’t annoy me this week.

Tim: I want to say I’m surprised that he ranks us on who annoys him the least but at this point we all do it

Bruce: Your on the money number 5

Jason: Wait, B when was the last time I was your favorite?

Bruce: Three weeks ago when you didn’t kill anyone for 2 weeks. I was really proud.

Damian: Father who is usually the favorite?

Bruce: Cassandra is usually at the top and then Duke and Barbara are below her.

Jason: Who’s the least likely to be at the top?

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: What?!? Why?!??

Bruce: If you would stop with the constant conspiracy theories and caffeine addiction I wouldn’t have to be worried and less annoyed.

[nikiexe0]

That was delicious, thank you

Now I'mma stalk your ao3

>:]

The Brucie Problem™ Is up

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66660742

@that-stressed-out-chic @mikukisworld @gay-as-tree @feral-asexual-possum @centwithlove @whenicarusflies @inlovewithpsychos @auggies-dreamworld @man-of-manyfaces @batfamcraver99 @stillserenz @yippee-yippee8 @elliesalien @the-best-of-the-myrmidona @demigod-jack-hearth @thatratcharlie @keokrone @nikiexe0 @sand-is-crunchy @mollycoddle707 @scoobydoobyally @solar1175 @lilith-eats-the-stars @slipperywaterslide @bobasbag @mirrimblackfox @mentallyblurrychild @demitimelord42 @nova-in-life @jinchaeji

[nikiexe0]

[nikiexe0]

[nikiexe0]

I have read a few fics like this but I want one that is more direct so the premise is

The Justice League finds out how much batman loves and puts his kids above anyone else, including his mission.

Everyone is in the watch tower, and by everyone, i mean everyone they had a mission that is all hands on deck. So they are celebrating to save the world again. The only reason batman is there is because his kids asked him to stay, and he is wrapped around their little fingers. Somehow, they get on the topic of what he would choose over their mission for justice and essentially them. They know batman has a kid, but they dont know who. Green Lantern asks batman

GL: so spooky what would you chose.

Batman: hn

GL: so would you chose your kids---

Batman: my kids

GL: that was fast I didn't even finish my question

Batman: The rest was irrelevant. i would choose my children over anything.

The batkids are a little shocked but happy their dad chooses them.

GL: what if your kid asks you hide a murder for them

Batman: i would ask questions, but I wouldn't let them go to jail.

GL think he's got spooky to pick a different answer with next one

GL: ok us or them

Batman with no hesitation: my kids

The jl are shocked. The batkids are happy. Dick suddenly thought of something

Dick: does that mean you chose me while not at the sametime

Jl confused for a minute them realized

Jl: your his kid!!!!!!!!!

That's all I can think of. I know that batman is a bit of oc, but guess what it's fanfiction. you can do that.

Feel free to add or, if you know of a fic, drop it in the comments

[nikiexe0]

<1>. <2>. <3>

Bruce doesn’t know why Jason is mad at him. At this point, it seems to be an everyday thing.

Jason successfully integrates his way back into the family, making it possible for him to hang out with his brothers without being coerced by anyone. He comes and goes as he pleases and struts around the manor like it’s his home again.

Bruce couldn’t be happier.

So why is his second/third oldest mad at him? It seems like nowadays Jason gets mad at Bruce for breathing the wrong way, or walking too slow, or something completely nonsensical.

It all comes to a head when Jason confronts him in his office when Bruce was just finishing up some paperwork.

“What the fuck is your actual fucking problem?” Jason hissed angrily, slamming his fist down on Bruce’s mahogany table.

Bruce distantly hopes that it won’t leave a mark, but for now, he’s more focused on why his son is swearing at him.

“Hello Jason.” Bruce decides to start, giving him a second to collect his thoughts and mentally see if he’s done anything lately. “I’m afraid I don’t understand-“

“Bullshit! Absolute fucking bullshit!” Jason spat, cutting Bruce off.

Bruce’s eyebrows wrinkled slightly at the many curses directed at him. It’s not like he wasn’t used to it; Gotham is his home, but he just doesn’t know why.

“When was the last time you fucking talked to me?” Jason questioned, rounding the desk and jabbing a finger in Bruce’s shoulder.

This causes Bruce to blink, somehow even more confused than before. “I don’t understand. I’m talking to you right now. And we spoke yesterday.”

“No, you walked into the room looking for Golden Boy, saw me and said some fake ass greeting before turning and basically running away!” Jason swung his hands around, making Bruce lean back in his chair to avoid getting hit. “Why are you avoiding me? I thought… I thought you had forgiven me and stuff…”

“What? Of course I have! You’re always welcome here!”

“Then why are you avoiding me? You don’t invite me places, y-you barely speak to me nowadays…”

Bruce picked at the peeling arm of his swivel chair, peeling off a small portion of the black paint and ripping it into smaller pieces before dropping it on the ground. Alfred would probably make him clean it up. “I’m giving you space.”

Jason blinked, looking down at Bruce in confusion. “Space? Why are you giving me space- so much space? You're never fucking around anymore!”

“Well… because you hate me?”

“What..?”

“You told me…” Bruce says slowly, barely stopping himself from scratching at his arm in the tense silence, a habit Alfred made sure he broke. “You’ve told me multiple times how you hate me… and that I’m not your Dad.”

Jason gaped at Bruce, taking a moment to sit on the edge of Bruce’s desk, running a hand down his face. “Fuck Bruce! I-I wasn’t- ugh! I wasn’t being fucking serious!”

Bruce squints, his eyes darting around Jason's angry and confused expression.

“But… you said it? Why would you say that if you didn’t mean it?” Bruce asked quietly, his chest tightening like it does when he wants to cry.

He hasn’t felt this way in a long time. At least, not so strongly. The kind of feeling that you get when you know everyone around you understands something that you can’t. Why would Jason say something he didn’t mean?

Why did Bruce have to be so fucking stupid. He's supposed to be the world's greatest detective, so why does he always have a hard time deciphering what people mean? Especially his children.

“I don’t understand,” Bruce repeated, his eyes stinging as he flapped his hands before drumming them softly on the arm of his swivel chair, trying to calm himself down. “You’ve said it. You say it all the time.”

“Bruce-“

“All of you say it! You say that you hate me, so you hate me!” Bruce insisted, no longer looking at Jason, the study felt significantly smaller now. “Why would you say it if you don’t mean it? Why would you say something so mean?”

“… Dad…” Jason whispered softly, slowly taking Bruce’s hands in his own. Bruce hadn’t even noticed that his fingernails were painfully digging into the palm of his hand, leaving angry red half moons.

“Dad, if you think that we hate you, then why…?” Jason gestures widely, pointing at nothing in particular yet everything at the same time. “Why do you do this for us? Why are you still here?”

Bruce tilted his head in confusion. Not a single second of this conversation has made any sense to him but he knows this part, it is woven into the very fabric of his being. “Because I love you. I love all of you.”