not-a-suspicious-wizard

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

Does anyone know how long you have to shake a cow until it starts producing milkshakes? I’ve been at it for the past fiscal quarter and my investors are going to pull out soon if I don’t manage to produce any milkshakes in the next week.

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

Don’t worry, I didn’t notice either.

(Above is a picture of me judging you regardless)

oh my god my name was familarwizard this whole time fuck

changed it. anyways bye for another year lol

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

Eugh… I’d have to go to Paris, then. No thanks. I’ll get one of my contacts to do it.

Sorry, the Eiffel tower is melted.

Tried a new spell and i missed my target while getting distracted.

Welp.

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

Finally!! Any French die in the collateral? Chunk of landmass gone? Anything really detrimental?! I’ve been scheming for years on how to get rid of them, but I still haven’t come up with anything interesting enough…

Sorry, the Eiffel tower is melted.

Tried a new spell and i missed my target while getting distracted.

Welp.

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

Todays izutsumi: spying

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

What is this? a crossover episode?

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

I did that as a prank one time, they didn’t appreciate it. Good idea, though.

@the-gnomish-bastard

Any ideas on how to kill something immortal? Like at all?

Please?

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

orange soda

currently packing to go on an INSANE quest that i’ll probably DIE on but my wizard master is MAKING me do it. what does one even bring to a quest??? like seriously im asking what should i take

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

It wasn’t! Now I better start running. Like unironically. He will definitely be coming at me with a vengeance now.

*I start running.*

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

That feels irresponsible, does it not? Actually? Why do I care? I’ll drop them on Alcesor.

*I throw up a few strange looking somatic gestures before clapping.*

There. Hope @the-random-wizard-from-space likes the gift.

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

I… yeah… just…

…

Damnit, I still have to deal with part of the rat-hotdog-pile-thing because I still can’t think of a good way to dispose of it.

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

…

Okay, that isn’t as bad… they just smelt like ratdogs, so my fight or flight kicked in.

*I walk back over.*

Aww… they’re kind of cute in their own… rat way? What am I talking about?

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

*The moment the ratdogs appear I begin screaming loudly and running away.*

Please! Not again!!

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

Mhm… I’m watching…

I counted, it was a full ONE HUNDRED RATDOGS! Where do you even get that many?!

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

ALRIGHT, WHO THE HELL DROPPED HOTDOGS ON ME—

*sniff*

SCRATCH THAT, RAT MEAT! WHAT THE HELL?!

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

*Selent thinks for a few moments before quickly downing the rest of the wine in his wine glass.*

Well… fuck. Uhh…

…

That was really all I had to ask, if you’re being honest, that’s really… a bit much.

*He gets up begins to walk out of the cellar.*

*A letter appears directly in front of you* Hello,

We need to talk, Alcesor. Go to the old, warded cellar in the observatory as soon as possible.

Your’s Truly,

@not-a-suspicious-wizard

*I swiftly grab it from the air and read over the letter*

Ah, strange. He usually want to avoid me.

*I grab some stardust, throw it into the air, and a portal forms*

Here I come…

[not-a-suspicious-wizard]

…

That was a test to see if I could trust you now, it that seems I can’t.

I saw everything.

*He digs through his pocket and pulls out the silver pocket watch*

This has some pretty nice uses.

…

When did you become more powerful than him?

*A letter appears directly in front of you* Hello,

We need to talk, Alcesor. Go to the old, warded cellar in the observatory as soon as possible.

Your’s Truly,

@not-a-suspicious-wizard

*I swiftly grab it from the air and read over the letter*

Ah, strange. He usually want to avoid me.

*I grab some stardust, throw it into the air, and a portal forms*

Here I come…