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A lamp flickers, when its broken, because it was build to always give its everything.

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I guess i cant even commit to a tumbler page

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maybe love actually is all around maybe thats what the signs are all about every single detail that fills my heart its so much heavier than the dark

just the crows playing in the snow the lonesome rusty spotted cat playing alone the way the light hits the coffee’s steam the sun rising after everything proves

that maybe love is all around us maybe thats what the signs are about every single detail that fills my heart is so much heavier than the empty dark

the way im always changing my font i wish i was a better grandson believe I’ve grown to be more understanding of you who have raised me through time

the gentle sound of my cheap guitar the lyrics that I write every then and now how my brother is the best man I know how im lucky for all the people I’ve found

…

thank you to all the music i hear and all the people I’ll meet i can not keep a straight line but i can start by trying tonight

Minari, 2020 dir. Lee Isaac Chung

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Summer comes, winter goes, spring i sleep, heaven knows…

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Joe Brainard - Whippoorwill, 1974

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Faye Eleanor Woods (British, 1998) - I HATE Pool! (2023)

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Lets go out and watch the sun rise Right here by the snowy mountain side Staying up late marking each others skins Ill tell you what the universe whats you to ear

Fallen oaks, brass, sunken ships, olive pits The hickory aura shining around me Lets keep talking maybe ill come out Ill tell you all about my mother and her child

Hickory

Comes to show i don’t know much about me Build my self out of pieces of others around Like the coffee I drink cuz it’s what my mom drinks People always saying we are the same being

Hichory

Two cowboys sharing the same kiss A person that cant escape them selves I want it to flow like the soft smoke Half way through the cigarette is lighten up

Keep writing it might come out Keep looking it might be found This color i know nothing about, Hichory what are you, a stranger i see

Yours, Hickory

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Dragon new warm mountain, i believe i you

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Dragon new warm mountain, i believe in you

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Wild, 2014 - Jean-Marc Vallée

Cheryl Stayed and Hayden Anhedönia <3

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I take you upstairs in the feeling of care And in the dream of a time where You’d let me take care of your sleeping body Even if for one night, even tho you’re not really there Even if the feeling that crawls up on me is not for an instance mirrored in your eyes

All of this from a picture I saw of you today Brought up by the gentle singing of a girl And the other that you know is not ours The one where you stare at me in class

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It seems I’m more beautiful when the lights are low Wonder if there’s a touch of you I can hold onto Traveler of the deep dark blue Love me like the moment I knew I loved you The burning flame shines low Only for our body’s to talk slow Dark deep red shines on you I wonder if I ever just loved the thought of you

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You can make a knife out of anything You press it against my throat  And wait for me to say sorry for hurting you

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I want to forever be in this song’s bridge, pondering whether to jump or continue walking…

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On the coffee table with a greasy plate and a latte cup with a rest of foam, alone. With more people, each one at their tables, outlive of the cafe, alone. Reading. The young waiter approaches and asks if I want anything else, I say no, and with his nice face he lifts the dishes. I think to myself about his body, not very high with his meter and seventy, maybe, not taller than me, strong certainly and arranged, he disappears and I, with my idealization of this person, think. When i get up to go pay, he’s at the door and make way for me, he smiles. While I look for money in my wallet, he passes behind me, tells me the price of my order and I pay. Before I leave he gives me a receipt of another order with his mobile number in the back. Embarrassed, I raise my face to cross my eyes with his and smile. When i leave through the same door where I entered, I’m still sitting at the same table outside of the same cafe, alone. Now thinking that when he came to ask me if he wanted something else, he searched all over my face and noticed all my flaws. Despite getting ready to go out, alone and dashing, I convince myself that it is true and that he must hate me for the slightly dry lips, the pimple on my cheek, how dry my hair, the sweet in my back, my breath that stinks of cigarettes I smoked before washing my mouth, my smile that’s a little crooked, my nose that’s to big for my face, a curl that’s out of place because of the breeze… I get up and go in to pay, and someone else’s at the register to give me the bill and I disappear.

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The birds sing outside of my bedroom window, but do I dare to hear? It just takes the strength to open the windows, to sit by the windowsill, just to hear. Do I even have the strength to raise my body from this bed?

Cry for myself for not living the life I’d want to, but I don’t dare. I just need to find the borderline between self pity and incapacitating dread.

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Only when I step out though the back door Do i let the water overfill the watering can As I watch the green leaves swim with the breez And I nourish them with the waterfall singing