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Was anyone going to tell me that JM Barrie wrote about captain Hook's youth? No, I had to learn that via scrolling tumblr at 2am, knowing I'm making my day more misserable every minute I stay not sleeping already, like God intended

I think I may have solved a mystery that I didn’t even know was one.

So. In Peter Pan, the novel, this is the first mention of Captain Hook:

“Who is captain now?” “Hook,” answered Peter, and his face became very stern as he said that hated word. “Jas. Hook?” “Ay.” Then indeed Michael began to cry, and even John could speak in gulps only, for they knew Hook’s reputation. “He was Blackbeard’s bo’sun,” John whispered huskily. “He is the worst of them all. He is the only man of whom Barbecue was afraid.”

Later, we learn this:

Hook was not his true name. To reveal who he really was would even at this date set the country in a blaze; but as those who read between the lines must already have guessed, he had been at a famous public school; and its traditions still clung to him like garments, with which indeed they are largely concerned.

“Barbecue” is Long John Silver from Treasure Island. Jas. is short for James, but in “Captain Hook at Eton,” he’s also called Jacobus. The biblical figure Jacob was renamed Israel.

Blackbeard’s historical boatswain, and also a character in Treasure Island, was Israel Hands.

I’m just saying, if I got a hand chopped off and my last name was Hands… I might want to change it.

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*redesigns your babygirl for animation*

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Also, an ER situation wouldn't be the time to confront someone... "So I know you're bleeding, but let's talk about my feelings for a minute". Look, @why-rock-look-tasty-if-no-eat , I know you didn't ask, but when you feel the need to talk about hurt feelings with you friends, you need to choose the time and place carefully. In this example, it would be best to talk to people who have done this in the past, and maybe (if that's really your position here) warn them you won't be acompanying them again. But just refusing out of the blue during a emergency wouldn't be the poetic justice you imagine, it would rather be kind of inmature

Why is it that I am always the person people ask to accompany them to the ER and yet nobody has ever agreed to accompany me on any of my ER trips. What kind of grievous injury does a guy have to acquire to get a little company here.

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His father died a prince, weeks before turning 100 years old

my mama was like I didn’t get you a princess bed because I was like you’re older now. and I’m like. wtf. I’m a princess mamaaaaa 😔 I’m a little princess cmon man

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hey gamers I’ve started watching star trek does anyone else see the romantic tension between captain kirk and mr. spock

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"some 2010s show I've never heard about" ...you don't have to say it like it's ancient history, I know I didn't treat the 90s like this

my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice 

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I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

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his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of life’s immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it

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there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

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there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

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corn curse (for "The Crooked Moon)

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When I am appointed to represent a child, my first action is to separate them from their parents and tell them the following things:

1. I am their attorney. I do not work for their parent or the judge or the cops. I don’t care what any of those people want.

2. My job is to listen to them and try and make what they want happen in court. (At this point I make a joke about how most people want me to get them out of trouble but if someone wanted to be in trouble I would do my best.)

3. What they tell me is confidential. It goes nowhere unless they agree to it. (If old enough, I talk to them about mandatory reporters, and how I’m a mandatory non reporter.)

4. I will give them lots of advice because I’ve been doing court for a while and I know a lot about it, and they don’t. It’s all really complicated, and if they don’t understand what’s happening it’s my job to help them figure it out.

5. They will make the decisions. (At this point I usually have to reassure them that I’ll help, I’ll speak for them in front of the judge, and I’ve got their back. It’s scary to have an adult say you’re in charge, most of the time.)

6. I tell them I know it’s absolutely wild to have some stranger come in here and say “hey, you can trust me!” and that I get if they don’t believe everything right away, because I plan to show them through my actions and my words that I’ll fight for them.

7. But nonetheless, I will treat them like a person who can make decisions, because they are living their life and I am not.

I do not:

Pretend to be cool.

Try to be their BFF.

Overwhelm them with detail.

Let their parents in the room until the kid asks for them. (I provide openings for this, and ask if the kid wants their parent to help them remember and understand.)

I want to emphasize I went into this job knowing nothing about how to interact with vulnerable populations, especially children. The training was minimal, and my role means that I can literally walk into a facility and get an unmonitored visit with a minor client one on one.

In my years of practice I have never felt threatened by a child, even one that was “violent” and “unstable.” It turns out just saying “hi, I think you’re a person with thoughts” is wildly successful? Now people treat me like I have special Child Whisperer powers. My powers are that I ask the child what’s up and I’m not scared to say things that are objectively awkward. I know nothing about anything.

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Reds !

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LMAO when ur bf can't fly

the low quality is killing me