only-remission-and-relapse-blog

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

LIKE or REBLOG for a starter from Cain, Father of Murder and First Demon

[just keep in mind I haven’t been on this blog in ages, so starters will probably be short as I get back into the dance of things]

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

Sad and Soft  {Sentence Starters}

❛❛ I took your hoodie and I’m not giving it back. ❜❜

❛❛ Please just… just hold me. ❜❜

❛❛ C’mere. Lean on me. ❜❜

❛❛ You look like you need a hug. Come here. ❜❜

❛❛ I’m never leaving this blanket nest ever again. ❜❜

❛❛ I know you don’t like hugs, but… I could really use one right now… ❜❜

❛❛ Just stay a little longer. Please. ❜❜

❛❛ It’s so cold outside, but you’re so warm… ❜❜

❛❛ I’m sorry. I should have asked first, just… it reminded me of you. ❜❜

❛❛ Let me hold you for a while. ❜❜

❛❛ It’s okay. I’ve got you. ❜❜

❛❛ Everything hurts. Being with you is the only good thing in the world anymore. ❜❜

❛❛ Hey, hey, don’t cry. It’s okay. C’mon, come sit under the blanket with me. ❜❜

❛❛ All I want to do is sit and eat cookies and watch cheesy romcoms right now. But I’d love some company. ❜❜

❛❛ I brought blankets, takeout, and your favourite movie. I know it won’t fix everything, but it might help. ❜❜

❛❛ Please stay with me tonight. I don’t want to be alone. ❜❜

❛❛ I made some tea. Now, do you need to talk? Or should I just put on some music? ❜❜

❛❛ I’m not going to leave. I’ll stay as long as you need me to. ❜❜

❛❛ Your hair’s soft… I just want to pet it until I forget everything but how soft it is… ❜❜

❛❛ Shh, shh. It’s okay. You’re alright. You’re safe now. ❜❜

❛❛ I know you’re hurting right now, and I’m so sorry. Tell me what will help and I’ll do it. ❜❜

❛❛ I just want to see you smile again. ❜❜

❛❛ This is stupid but… could you sing to me? You have such a nice voice, and I think it might help calm me down… you don’t have to, but… ❜❜

❛❛ Lay your head in my lap and try to get some rest. ❜❜

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

Sad 'n' fluffy RP starters!

“Have you ever been to a funeral before?”

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

“You look like you need a hug.”

“Please hold me.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not real. It’s all a dream.”

“Shhh, it’s okay now. You’re safe in my arms.”

“Hold me until I forget.”

“I don’t feel good. Stay with me…”

“Don’t worry, baby, I got you.”

“I had that horrible dream again. Can I sleep in your bed?”

“You can’t run from your fears when you’re in my arms.”

“Kisses won’t make it better, but you can try.”

“I’m going to love you until you love yourself.”

“You look like you need cheering up.”

“I need cheering up.”

“The past is in the past. The future is for us. We can’t help what’s gone.”

“You woke up screaming. I figured breakfast in bed was in order.”

“You’re the light of my life. Please don’t go.”

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

{Once upon a time, a man discovered something called Sessionbox and can now be on multiple blogs at once without having to switch from incognito to main, or having to log in and out.

Meaning the man is finally returning to blogs he’s missed but hasn’t had the energy to log into.

My god, if only you all knew the insane stuff that’s been going on in life right now. So much has been going on. So much good, so much bad, so much of a mixed bag.

I miss my Beekeeper Son. So hey hey hey.}

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

           He had known this would happen eventually. That Madalena would finally find a way to escape her family, and that she would jump at the chance to take it. She had always protected herself, first and foremost. A fact he was glad for, because it meant she would know how to keep herself safe.

              But it still stung somewhere deep down; in part because he could see what see was hiding. The look in her eye, the rapid words spilling from her mouth without rhyme or reason, the way she wasn’t quite meeting his gaze or addressing him directly.

               Perhaps she was trying to convince herself as well as him.

               Touching her shoulder was an impulse, and one he nearly regretted - this was her life, he had no say in it. He never had - or if he had, he never should have. But then she turned to look at him at long last before wrapping her arms around his frame and resting her head beneath his chin.

                 Out of her view now, listening to her words, Cain didn’t bother to keep back the tears slowly filling his eyes. He stroked her back with a thumb for a moment, mulling through his thoughts. Before long though, he answered quietly, “When you’ve lived as long as I have, you can always tell, little rose.” 

                  He knew he ought to say something more... but he wasn’t sure what. Finally, he settled on something he hoped was mildly encouraging without being too reminiscent of his dislike of the situation. “You don’t have to go with him. You’ve a place here. But in the end, this is your choice. I trust you to make it wisely. Just... just know you’ll always have a place here.”

                   By god, he was going to miss her. But it was time for her to move on, as was the case with anyone he loved. All he knew was that he was grateful she was not moving on by his own violent hand.

31. Grasping to hold onto me (okay but consider, Cain decides he doesn't want to let Maddie go back to an abusive situation whether it's her parents or whatever)

Fifty ‘’I found you’’ OTP Prompts

          She had been talking the entire time she packed. Nonsense rambling. Parroting the hopes and dreams Galavant had painted for her of what their life would be like after he pulled her away from her parents and the life she had here. It wasn’t like Madalena was going to miss her parents. Her happy memories of them were few and far between; her parents weren’t loving people and that was how she had grown to be. So it was no surprise to her that she didn’t love Galavant, just the idea of what he could provide for her.

          But as soon as Cain reached out and grasped hold of her shoulder, Madalena froze, her ramblings halting immediately; she hadn’t even been listening to herself and she doubted Cain really was either. Slowly, ever so slowly, Madalena turned in his hold and met his world-weary blue eyes with her own tired irises.

          Suddenly, she was a child again. A little girl in a crown of flowers, watching the bees and looking at Cain as if he were the greatest gift to her life. She had grown, she had learned that Cain was far from the saint she had once thought him. But he was still the most important part of her life and the only thing she’d miss if she left.

          It was a natural impulse to lean in and wind her arms tightly around Cain’s midsection, nuzzling her head beneath his chin. Cain’s arms were still the safest place in the world to Madalena; she doubted that would change. “You can tell, can’t you,” she remarked softly after a long moment; it wasn’t a question because she knew the answer. “You can tell that I don’t love him.”

          She didn’t love Galavant and she didn’t love her parents. Really, the only person she loved was the man holding her now.

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

         He didn’t belong anywhere; he never truly had. In Hell, he had never felt as though he belonged - only that he was trapped there in order to keep from breaking a deal he had been forced to make. His brief view of Heaven, he felt like an outsider. But with humanity... humanity, the earth, it felt like home.

          Cain supposed it made sense. The only people who had ever cared about him had lived here. His mother, his brother, his love... 

           And this young girl who had somehow deemed him worthy of her trust somewhere along the road, and who looked to him sometimes for safety and comfort, though he knew she would never admit it outright. This girl who disliked almost everyone else and distrusted them, but somehow had decided that a demon - whether she knew what he was or not - was worthy of her childlike fondness.   

          Sometimes he thought of this, usually on his nightly walks to Colette’s grave; wondered if, had they ever had a daughter or son, whether they would have cared for him as much as Madalena seemed to. Or whether they would - rightfully so - curse his name for bringing them into this world, for burdening them with the curse that followed his every step.

           But that didn’t really matter, because for now, Madalena was here, and somehow she cared for him. And he only hoped he would never hurt her.

            On impulse, Cain carefully set his basket of blackberries down and gingerly - giving her the option to leap away if she wished it - drew her into a loose embrace.

@sweetmxdalena 

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

The way you said “I love you.“

Some fluffy, some angsty prompts

As a hello

With a hoarse voice, under the blankets

A scream

Over a cup of tea

Over a beer bottle

On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair

As a thank you

As an apology

When baking chocolate chip cookies

Not said to me

With a shuddering gasp

When we lay together on the fresh spring grass

In a letter

A whisper in the ear

Loud, so everyone can hear

Over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble

When the broken grass litters the floor

From very far away

With no space left between us

As we huddle together, the storm raging outside

Over your shoulder

Muffled, from the other side of the door

Through a song

Without really meaning it

In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep

Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips

When I am dead

Slowly, the words dripping from your tongue like honey

Too quick, mumbled into your scarf

In awe, the first time you realised it

In a way I can’t return

On a post-it note

Before we jump

As a goodbye

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

Fifty ‘’I found you’’ OTP Prompts

(I’m a big fan of prompt lists so I thought I’d make my own! Inspired by x so go check it out! If you use these I’d love to see the finished work, so feel free to tag me if you’d like!)

I found you

Giggling like a child, without a trace of past sadness

Snuggling into my chest, refusing to let my hand go

Covered in a pile of crisp autumn leaves

Sand covering your toes, ocean waves crashing into a lullaby at sunset

Freezing in the snow

Tears streaming down your cheeks, pain hidden from me once again

With the stuffed animal I won for you at the festival

Moonlight reflected in your eyes, balcony overlooking the sky

Hand buried inside of your underwear, my name whimpered on your lips

Planning a surprise party for me

Bloody and bruised in a strange alleyway, so far from home 

Snuggling with my jacket, peacefully asleep

Petting a small dog, being ridiculously cute

Ordering ice cream for us both, and spilling yours

In bed with someone else, screaming their name instead of my own

In the bathroom at a formal event, crying in the bathroom over how you saw yourself as ugly

At the park, resting in the grass with no care in the world

Waiting for me

Drunk, at the end of your rope

In a bubble bath you filled for us both

With a broken ankle

In a place you should have never been

Looking like an angel

Sunbathing by the pool on a lazy Sunday afternoon

Far too late

Gasping for air

Wide awake, unable to sleep without me

Panicking, our child about to be delivered

Before everything changed

Trying on your favorite outfit, air escaping from my lungs in wonder

Grasping to hold onto me

With a blush on your cheeks

Tickling my sides

In a pool of your own blood

After many years

Your eyes heavy, nightmares robbing you of sleep

Angry at me, refusing to look me in the eyes

Screaming in terror 

Dancing under the stars, myself watching with your reflection sparkling in my eyes

At the happiest you had ever been

While dressing for our wedding

Chasing butterflies

Watching me while I sweat from exercising

Baking pastries for me

While you were dying

A snowflake on your nose

Where I should have been looking in the first place

Before my last breath

In another universe

In the afterlife

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

         Cain wasn’t sure he had felt like this in centuries. This odd mix of warmth and pain thrumming through his chest... it was nearly unbearable, and yet, he had no idea of how to stop it. So all he could do was smile, one hand reaching up to touch the crown of flowers atop his head.

          And when Madalena rushed toward him, arms wrapping around his torso without a word... well, the odd sensation in his heart only grew more intense.

           At her words, he couldn’t help but smile, blinking to force back the tears. How anyone could care this much about him... it had been so long.

           And it put her in such danger. If Lucifer discovered that someone had once again come to love Cain... or that he had come to love another... well, he feared for Madalena’s safety. Tragedy befell anyone who became close to the Father of Murder. And was it truly any wonder?

           But such things would have to wait for another day, amongst prayers that it would not be too late. For now, Cain couldn’t just turn Madalena away. Not after such a gesture of kindness from her. 

            He returned her hug, gently embracing her small form and resting his chin atop her head. He resisted the urge to press a kiss to her hair - as his own mother had done to him when he was small, all those eons ago - and simply sat there for a long moment, holding her. He knew she was hiding tears; and he wasn’t sure he should address them outright.

              So instead, still waiting for her to be the first to pull away from the hug, he said softly, “There’s just one thing missing though.” A quiet pause. “Now we should make you a crown. What do you think?”

      Cain, in all his centuries walking this earth, had never managed to pinpoint when the day celebrating fathers originated. He supposed it was a nice enough day, though not one he had ever expected to celebrate himself. He had decided hundreds of years ago that he would never be a father. 

         Granted, when he met Colette, he had almost - almost - changed his mind on that. But not entirely, and he supposed that was a good thing, considering what had happened to her. He wasn’t meant to have family - fate seemed set in stone. 

         Cain would end up muredering anyone he came to consider family.

         Which is why he felt he needed to tell Madalena it was time to move on and stop spending time with him. But how could he say that to her? He wanted to be gentle with it… but at the same time, nothing he said could hurt more than whatever he might end up doing to her.

           But as chance would have it, today was not the day he would be having that conversation. (Had he remembered it was Father’s Day, he would never have even planned to have such a conversation in the first place; at least not right then.)

             So when Madalena approached him, and started talking about flowers, he had no idea where she was taking the subject - not until she lifted a flower crown up towards him and said those three words. (Unsteadily; but she said them.)

             “This…” Cain cut himself off, drawing in a deep breath and trying to push down the lump in his throat. But the sting in his eyes remained, and he sank to his knees in front of her, gently taking the crown of flowers from her. 

              For a moment, he just knelt there, his free hand covering his face and a shiver passing through him. He felt warm teardrops against his palm, and drew in another unsteady breath before looking up with a quiet smile. “It’s beautiful.” He carefully reached up and placed the flower crown atop his head.

              He sat there, silent, for a moment; then he swallowed hard, averting his gaze, staring at the ground. And then he looked up again, quietly holding his arms out. “How do you feel about hugs?”

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

          Cain had taken some time to grow accustomed to having someone else - child or not - around. He had spent so many centuries alone that any sort of human contact was a slightly strange feeling.

          But having Madalena around, as strange as it was... made him happier than he had been since Colette’s death. It wasn’t safe; he knew that. But he also didn’t have the heart to chase her off. He could only hope he wouldn’t hurt her... as he had hurt anyone he had ever loved. Abel, Colette...

           Even so, today was not a day to dwell on such things. Instead, he had the pleasure of tending to the bees while Madalena gardened amongst the flowers.

           Idly, he wondered if she had ever seen a honeycomb just after it was removed from a hive; he had never shown her, and he somehow doubted that her parents would have any such knowledge.

           “Madalena?” he called, carefully placing the honeycomb on a clean pan so that it would catch any honey that escaped. 

            He received no response. Glancing up, he saw that Madalena was highly focused on the flowers. He couldn’t help but smile as he moved closer. “Madalena!”

            It was her reply that stopped him in his tracks a few feet away. She quickly corrected herself... but Cain knew what he had heard, and it both terrified him and warmed his heart. 

            The closer she grew to him - and she clearly had grown close, if she was now calling him ‘Dad’ - the more danger she was in. He knew he ought to ignore what she had said, or even take this as a chance to shoo her away, before he hurt her...

             But there was so much panic in her young face...

             Cain sat down crosslegged, looking at her and balancing the pan with the honeycomb on his knee. “You don’t have to be afraid.” 

              She should be. She should be running far away from you and this godforsaken place, and you know it well, demon. 

             “You can call me that, if you like. You won’t upset me. I promise.”

              He nodded toward the pan. “I wanted to show you a honeycomb. I didn’t know if you had seen one before. You can try some honey too, if you like. Or even the comb - it’s edible too.” 

@only-remission-and-relapse

          She wasn’t really paying attention, more focused on tending to the gardens. Madalena had always liked flowers but had never really knew the proper way to care for them until Cain had showed her. She didn’t much care about the bees but she’d tend to the flowers while Cain took care of the bees and the honey.

          So when Cain called her, Madalena only barely registered it and Cain had to call her again in order to catch her attention.

“ Yeah, Dad? ” she returned, glancing up towards the older man with her head tilted. It took several beats before the phrase registered and the panic set in. “ I mean…yeah, Cain? ” she added hastily.

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

        He couldn’t remember ever having been frightened by an otherworldly being. When you yourself had been created as the worst demon... the first demon... it was difficult to find anything else frightening. Instead, they were afraid of you. 

        But if Colette had given him one thing back, it was empathy. And he could imagine how terrifying it would be for a young girl - no matter how resilient , no matter how tough - to see a demon.

         It broke his heart... all of it. Her fear. The way she worried so over his safety... for how could she know that nothing could ever harm him? That any creature in the night that she may have feared would never dare approach him, or his place of dwelling, thus making her as safe as he himself, so long as she was there?

         But most of all, it broke his heart that she had no idea... that she did not know that the man she so feared for, the man she worried would be hurt by a demon... was, in fact, one himself.

         That the creature she feared so much in the first place was a creature that shared more in common with Cain than he dared dwell on.

          But that didn’t matter. What mattered was comforting her, and trying to soothe her worries. The regrets and memories could be faced another time. For now...

          He sang a little while longer, voice soft as he stroked her hair. Eventually, he trailed off into quiet, though his fingers didn’t stop their gentle ministrations.

                                          “Nothing’s gonna harm you,                                                Not while I’m around.                                    Nothing’s gonna harm you, Maddy;                                              Not while I’m around…”

      The melody was smooth, and the words more comforting than one would have expected from the lips of something such as him. Though, to be fair, she had been the first to start singing, and what else could he do but show his feelilngs in much the same way?

      His fingers carded gently through her hair, always faint enough that she could choose to escape at any moment she so wished.

@sweetmxdalena

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

            Cain waited patiently after offering Madalena the tea. He may not have had children of his own or even interacted with many over the millennia... but he had enough memories of his own childhood all those lifetimes ago to know that sometimes it took something sweet to convince a child to accept medicine.

             A smile crossed his face when Madalena looked up at him and admitted to liking the tea. “I’m glad. I won’t make you drink too much of it if you’d rather not; just a cup a day should suffice. But if you want more... well, there’s no harm in drinking as much as you want. It won’t hurt you.”

             He glanced outside. “There’s a storm on the rise... it may be cold soon. Would you like to move to the sofa? I have to tend to the bees, but then we can spend some time doing something nice. I can read, if you like, or we can turn on the television.”

             He rarely used the television set he owned; it had been a random purchase at a garage sale, on a day when he was feeling particularly restless. He knew how to use it well enough, and had even bought some VHS tapes to go with the VCR. (Some especially for Madalena.) It was just that he was, he supposed, old-fashioned and preferred books to television.

             Right now, though, his main priority was keeping a sick child happy and as comfortable as possible.

          He hadn’t expected tending to an ill child to be easy, and certainly not tending to an ill Madalena. Fortunately, centuries upon centuries upon centuries of living had given him no small amount of patience. 

             And besides, he had a few little tricks of his own.

            “I know. It seems most children don’t.” He knelt down in front of where she sat. “But won’t you at least try it? This isn’t like most tea.” He stirred it with the small spoon for a moment. “It has quite a lot of honey and sugar in it. It’ll be sweet, I promise.”

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

         Cain knew that he had done terrible things in his thousands of years on earth. And he knew that his bloodline was stained with those sins. Murderers, rapists, cannibals, thieves... if a human was seen as evil, or committed horrid crimes, then it was almost certain they had his blood coursing through their vines.

          So, thus, was his fate

          He simply could not live without making amends. And so he began to do the world a favour.

           If he could not erase his presence from the earth... then he would give in to the bloodlust the accursed Winchester had brought back, and instead cull those who would cause the world harm. It was the least he could do to atone for his sins.

            The prison was his next stop. Tommy was the man’s name. A killer through and through... he held more similarities to his ancestor than most. Cain knew it. And he knew that was why he had to snuff him out.

             But not all plans were carried out the way one intended them to be.

             He hadn’t meant to stop before reaching Tommy’s cell. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something... something was off. He was not alone. No, it wasn’t the prisoners in the cells around him... it was something else. Something more... recognisable.

              It was when he turned to one side that he saw not a criminal, not Tommy... but the face of his own brother staring back at him, looking for all the world as he had the day Cain had smote him down.

               He froze still, staring at the man inside the cell, unable to do anything but look. This... this could not be...

                “Abel...”

@only-remission-and-relapse

Lucifer wanted to pay Cain a visit for a long time now, but the question was how to approach him. From all the demons he was, by far, the most dangerous one. Maybe not that dangerous for an archangel, but you better didn´t underestimate the father of murder. Apparently Cain was trying to punish the ones who deserved it, or something like that. The information of his minions had been rather…vague, unfortunately, because they already shit their pants when Lucifer mentioned Cain´s name, not even talking about snooping him out here. Oh, how he missed the good old times with real demons at his side, and not such cowards.

Anyway…

According to his minions, Cain was on his way to a prison to punish another human. And Lucifer would be there, hiding his angelic grace as good as possible, trying not to cause bulbs to explode or to create a thunderstorm due to his magnificent presence. Yeah, being a sneaky angel was kinda hard sometimes. It required more…patience sometimes. So Lucifer went into the prison before Cain arrived and made himself comfortable in a lock-up near the man the demon was going to pay a visit tonight. To make the surprise even bigger, Lucifer made sure to look and sound exactly like Abel did the day he got murdered. And then he waited…

Slow and steady footsteps could be heard in the distance after a while. He was here…Lucifer had a mischievous grin on his face which he would hide immediately the moment the demon saw him.

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

❝ All you have to do is pull the trigger. ❞

          “I’ve never been overly fond of guns. And one has to ask, just why are you so insistent upon me being the one to kill him?”

@hurtbywhisperedmuses 

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

yeah, you’re right, i am old, which is why the fact i’m both wiser and also more powerful than you makes sense

i refuse, mainly because i would end up kicking your ass

[only-remission-and-relapse-blog]

i refuse, mainly because i would end up kicking your ass

only-remission-and-relapse replied to your post “repost. don’t reblog. rules: Pick four colours you associate with…”

mads you are such a diva omfg

fite me dad