A 20-year-old working on decluttering her makeup collection.
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Here's Why You Shouldn't Give Me A Scholarship
You shouldn’t give me a scholarship because I have withdrawn from three courses so far in my college career. Because I chose to take seven dual-enrollment courses instead of eight in high school. Because I have severe imposter syndrome within my chosen major. Because I already have a 40,000 scholarship. Because my parents work hard and make good choices with their money. Because I am white. Because I am not going into healthcare or music, engineering, coding, or even dance. I don’t deserve a scholarship because I procrastinate and then have missing assignments and because my room is messy.
I could think of a million more reasons why you shouldn't give me a scholarship. I don’t set aside time for assignments, I do not apply often to scholarships or internships. I am not in more than two clubs on campus. But I am a summer camp counselor. I have been for five years. I pick up shifts at Steam Anchor Coffee Co. where I work. I have always picked up extra shifts. And it has never been for money. It is because I liked my job. I like working with kids. I like to write, but not when someone else tells me what to write, where I can take evidence from, how long the piece has to be, and when I have to have it complete. I like to learn, but when I find things interesting.
I am more in the Chemistry Teacher Education major for teaching than chemistry. And as I have said, ‘if not me then who?’ If I don’t pick up this shift and help someone else out, then who will. Because the group chats are most often silent. The National Science Foundation created a nation-wide scholarship for university juniors and seniors studying to become teachers in the STEM subjects. At my school there are 3 math majors, 2 bio, and 1 chem. Me. There are no physics teachers. I was not even a junior when I received my scholarship. I was a sophomore with junior hours thanks to the 7 dual-enrollment courses in high school.
My mom is going to be so mad at me because I had to withdraw from both of my summer classes. I did not make a lick of time for either of them in the first week. And, well, it set me up for failure. Late work gets zero’s in the gradebook so I would have an ‘F’. But instead I choose ‘W’. I have withdrawn from a class before. I withdrew from a psychology course my second semester of freshman year at Clinton Community College. I was registered for 5, 16-week classes and I looked at the workload after syllabus week and said, “Nope.” I got 100% tuition reimbursement though since I withdrew during the first week.
This is starting to sound like a sob-story and I hate it.
I am thinking of completely leaving college altogether. But I do not want to be considered a drop-out. I want to get a degree in something since I am already here. But, when I come home for summer I am blinded with the amount of people that go straight into the workforce or military after high school. Or they stopped after receiving an associate’s or a certificate or license. I am not sure I am cut out for the length of time it will take me to finish my bachelor’s in Chemistry Teacher Education (especially since I withdrew from two classes this summer).
I really liked geology, but I am not sure I liked it enough to do a whole major in it. I have said this about concerts as well. I like Taylor Swift, but I’m not sure I like her enough to go sit through 3 hours of her.
Am I screwed? No one is going to give a summer job to someone wanting to start in mid-June and leaving and mid-August. No one is going to give a scholarship to someone who would rather see a ‘W’ on her college record than an ‘F’. No one is going to give a scholarship to someone who procrastinates so bad she just doesn’t do her assignments. No one is going to give a scholarship to a hypocrite.
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Monday, May 20th, 2024
b-pure green tea infused lip oil
Anastasia Beverly Hills brow freeze
Sephora Collection ‘Wishing You’ eyeshadow palette
Nyx Matte setting spray (I spray this onto my eyeshadow brush to help the shadow stick/stay)
Sephora Collection big by definition mascara (this is dried out and I want to find a primer to use under neath it)
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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Wednesday, May 15th, 2024
L’Oréal Paris Prime Lab Matte primer
Sephora Collection big my definition mascara
Milk Makeup Kush Clear Brow Gel (it does its job but it so expensive for the amount of product you get. The one pictured is full size😔 I do not recommend👎🏼)
Nyx Matte Setting Spray
Tower 28 tinted sunscreen (I’ve been into tinted sunscreen a lot lately as I am more outside since summer is coming)
Summer Fridays lip balm in vanilla (I really want the mint one!👍🏼)
benefit hoola lite bronzer (nothing special)
Rimmel London stay matte setting powder (my go-to)
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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05/05/2024
I’m back!🙂
Dionis goat milk lip balm in sweet berry🔟
Maybelline Fit Me Matte+Poreless foundation7️⃣
Sephora Collection big by definition mascara8️⃣
E.l.f. Stay all night blue light setting spray7️⃣
L.a. Colors lip oil in strawberry fizz7️⃣
Nyx bare with me concealer serum7️⃣
L’Oréal true match pressed powder8️⃣
Rare Beauty lip liner in Lively🔟
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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Hi, I will be logging off until further notice. I need to focus on my school work more. Thanks. Hopefully I’ll see you all soon.
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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05/01/2024
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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04/29/2024
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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4/28
Bolero Facial Mist with Rosewater & Aloe
Glow Recipe Avocado Ceramide Serum
Cetaphil Daily Facial Moisturizer
Supergoop! Play sunscreen
lottie London brow glaze
L.A. Colors eyeshadow palette in Diva Glam
Covergirl clear mascara
Nyx concealer serum
e.l.f blue light micro-setting mist
e.l.f. Putty Bronzer
Neutrogena color correcting compact
benefit flora tint
*Not pictured: Dionis lip balm in sweet berry
I’m currently watching The Wheel of Time from Amazon Prime Video and I am reminded that it is SO good!
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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Bolero rosewater & aloe facial mist
Glow recipe avocado ceramide serum
Equate beauty Acne treatment gel
Cetaphil facial moisturizer
Elf power grip
Maybelline express brow
Nyx brow glue
Elf hydrating camo concealer
Nyx wonderstick
Elf stay all night micro-setting mist
L’Oréal true match powder
La colors perfect lash
Not pictured: dionis sweet berry lip balm
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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Elf power grip primer
Benefit pore fessional primer
Maybelline express brow
La colors eyeshadow palette in charming
Maybelline fit me matte + poreless foundation
Elf hydrating camo concealer
Nyx contour + highlight wonderstick
L’Oréal true match powder
La colors liquid eyeliner
La colors perfect lash mascara
Rare beauty lip liner
La colors auto lipliner
Revlon lipstick
L’Oréal glow paradise lipstick
Elf stay all night micro-setting mist
L’Oréal gloss balm
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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When I say no-makeup makeup, I mean no-makeup makeup.
I used the Spoolie on the brow pencil to brush my brows and then filled them in gently. I then took my clear mascara and put it on my top and bottom lashes. If you wanted to you could curl your lashes as well but I do not own an eyelash curler so I did not. I also have noticeable pores in my t-zone so I used a poreless primer in those areas. I then used a powder puff and a tinted setting powder over top of the areas I just put primer. Next, use a lip liner that is the same color or just on the is very close, and gently line your lips. I then apply lip balm to moisten my lips and rub together to blend in the lip liner.
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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Elf hydrating camo concealer
Benefit flora tint
L’Oréal Lumi glotion
La colors perfect lash
La girl setting spray
Nyx jumbo stick in milk and cottage cheese
Burt’s bees strawberry lip balm
Nyx brow glue
La colors charming eyeshadow palette
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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Progress!! 4/19/24
Elf hydrating camo concealer
Nyx brow glue
La girl setting spray
Bolero facial mist in rose water & aloe
Glow recipe avocado ceramide serum
Mini elf holy hydration toner
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#lip tint#project pan 2024#projectpan2024#r.e.m beauty#lip balm
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#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#projectpan2024#project pan 2024#lip tint#r.e.m beauty
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What are some eyelash serums you like? I’ve tried ones from e.l.f. and Maybelline and they’ve both been really nice. I liked the Maybeline one a little better though because of the fuzzy-spoolie-applicator.
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#projectpan2024#project pan 2024#lip tint#r.e.m beauty
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Today’s makeup and half of my skincare
4/18
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#projectpan2024#project pan 2024#lip tint#r.e.m beauty
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Here is my estimated progress on my Nyx brow glue and elf hydrating camo concealer!
#project pan#eyeliner#eyeshadow#lipgloss#makeup#projectpan2024#project pan 2024#lip tint#r.e.m beauty
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