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okay, it’s been eight months since i’ve been here and i couldn’t have possibly imagined that this would become such a huge part of my life. anton has become more than a character to me, he’s practically a fuckin institution all on his own and i love him and i hope that you guys have good memories of him bc i really do. he’s been my fave child, he’s been my everything. so has dem tbh, bc i love my problem boy. 

first off - to the german fam i started off with ( and the prussians as well tbh ) : dee, vivi, maya, rose, aria, lena, jess and god knows how many people i’m forgetting and how many other people have left. you guys were amazing and i will love my time with you guys more than i can ever say. other than that - luna, ali, britt,  - if nothing else, you know that i’ll follow you over a fucking cliff because you have my support always. fucking always. you know that, i’m telling you that again, and i love you all so much. 

otherwise, to every single person i have met here: never have i ever ( ever ) been nice to any of you for the sake of it or shut you out on purpose. that’s not me, and i have genuinely loved plotting and rp-ing with every single one of you. i’ve loved seeing you guys on the dash. i’ve loved hearing about your days. i’ve loved every single moment. i’ve always tried to plot with legit everyone ( which has backfired on me a lot, lbr. i’ve had thirty threads going at any given time but it’s always been fun. ) you guys are amazing, your writing is amazing and ily all.

i’m not gonna say i’ve had the same problems as everyone else, because i would be a hypocrite. minnie’s been incredibly nice to me when we’ve talked. jord - you know how i feel, i’ve told you enough.  

but with that said, i’ve sat on my hands for a very long time and done nothing. that’s my fault, and i wish i’d said something earlier. i’ll be honest, it’s not easy to deal with being here if you’ve got anxiety, it’s REALLY not. i also don’t feel like there are any plots left for my characters because...honestly, there aren’t. i just no longer feel like my characters have any space to exist. there’s nothing for them here, tbh. modern au was a nice break from that, but seriously. i just feel like they’ve been boxed in and there’s no point to them anymore. i’m pretty much writing for the sake of writing and activity checks. there’s a bunch of reasons why, but that’s all i’ll say on the matter here. 

worst of all, i cannot swallow people i genuinely, genuinely respect and care for being treated badly or made to feel like absolute shit. that’s one thing i cannot take. i do think of them as close friends, my day is never complete without talking to a lot of them or checking up on them to make sure they’re okay, and the fact that they have to go through this is something i’m not okay with. it’s not okay with me at all.

if anyone ever wants to talk, anyone ever wants to stay in touch, just drop me a message and i’ll give you my personal/discord. it’s been amazing. it’s been fucking fantastic. love you guys an incredible amount. xxx

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okaY i am home at a decent time, so i’m gonna finish up a few things and post a little note about what’s been happening with my kids in 1665. if anyone wants to plot with my unhappy babies, let me know and i will hiT U UP K

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michel:

It’s funny how one moment he had been simply strolling through a museum, and the next he had been faced with the person that would change his life. He hadn’t even been looking for anyone, was too busy trying to recover from the trauma experienced in the battlefield, but he’d found Anton. He’d found him and he fell in love and built a life with him. This crappy apartment that they share together had become a home, even when the heating didn’t work and the floorboards squeaked. They’d bought Yoda together, painted the entire apartment together, at least tried to cook together, even if Michel had very nearly burned their kitchen down in the process. They’d picked out these sheets together, had decorated the rooms together, decided whose drawers would be whose, divided the bathroom equally, and Michel didn’t even mind when Anton’s crap ended up on his side. His mornings were made up of moving around each other in the kitchen and bathroom, and sharing kisses goodbye that lasted long enough to make them both late. His evenings were filled with soft banter about their days, being unable to keep his hands to himself and pulling his boyfriend close at night instead of pulling the blankets tighter around himself. Staring at Anton now, Michel can easily admit that every moment they had spent together had been the best moments of his life. Even when they fought with each other and he couldn’t stand the sight of his face that day, he loved Anton above all else. 

“Marry me.” He lets it slip from his mouth, surprising even himself. The words have been on the tip of his tongue for months now, the ring had been sitting in his drawer for weeks and he’d imagined a million different ways he could do it, had been overthinking it so much that he simply couldn’t settle on one scenario, but none of them felt as right as this. In the midst of a soft domestic moment filled with adoration, and it’s so entirely them. Mica laughs softly, hands sliding up to cup Anton’s face between them as he smiles wide. “This wasn’t…I’ve wanted to ask for so long, and this wasn’t how I pictured it. But I meant it when I said this was my favourite part of the day, schatzi. You’re my favourite part of every day, and I want a million more moments like this. Just you and me and our life together.” His heart pounds at what feels the pace of a hummingbirds, excitement and nerves running through his veins as caution is thrown entirely to the wind and he hands over the power to destroy him completely. “I love you. More than I thought I could love anyone.“ He’d thought after he’d returned from war that such a thing wasn’t possible. He’d thought his soul had been darkened and twisted into something ugly and unlovable. And while that fact may still be true, Anton has pulled a warmth and lightness from him that he forgot even existed before. He’d made him feel human once more and he doesn’t think he could survive a single day without the light that Anton provided. “And I want to be bound to you in every possible way.”

His thumbs stroke across his lover’s cheeks and he wants to drink the moment in. He looks into brown eyes that he’s lost himself in a million times now and can not imagine never seeing again. His fingertips are brushing against dark, silky strands that he’s tangled his hands in more times than he can count, that he loves seeing splayed across his pillow morning out. His gaze falls briefly to the mouth that he’s elicited moans and gasps and laughs from day after day and he thinks he’d kiss him now if he didn’t want an answer so badly. Finally, his gaze returns to Anton’s and God, he loves this man. Loves the way he makes Mica feel, loves the fact that he has someone in this world that understands him completely and he would quite happily live out the rest of his days making sure Anton felt the same. He’s not a man of many words, but he makes a silent promise in that moment. He was going to be there through everything, thick and thin. He was going to go to every opening show and buy flowers every time. He was going to make a big deal of every tv show he was in and made sure everyone he knew made sure to watch it too. He was going to try and find the patience not to get mad every time he found glitter glue on the bathroom floor, and to make sure he made up for it when he got angry regardless. He would change the kitty litters without complaint, do the dishes after Anton cooked. And above all else, he would be there for him through everything. He would love him every single moment of the rest of his life. “So, Anton Louis Luxemburg. Will you marry me?”

he gapes at michel, somewhere between surprised and overwhelmed; slack-jawed and stunned and yet trying his hardest to not to cry. “you’re crazy,” anton laughs, sitting up in bed as quickly as he can, arms tight around michel’s waist to keep him from going anywhere. there’s a little voice in his head that’s telling him to hold on as hard as humanly possible, telling him to make sure he’s not suddenly going to wake up and find out this is a dream he’s been waiting on for so very long. ( he’s pretty sure he’s had this dream before - even while he’s been awake. pretty sure he’s imagined those words coming from mica’s lips as they’ve lounged in bed on early sunday mornings, legs tangled and breaths intermingled. he’s wanted to hear them as they’ve trudged home through the snow on many a winter night, holding on to each other’s hands as if they might suddenly lose each other in the cold drift. he’s wanted to ask the question himself, wanted to whisper it against his boyfriend’s neck or press it against his hair. he’s wanted to turn around in his arms in the middle of the night and say the words between them for years now. ) “you’re absolute crazy, i love you - ” anton cuts himself off with a sigh, burying his head against mica’s chest, unable to keep the biggest fucking smile off of his face, blinking away the beginnings of tears and almost shaking with excitement. this is not how he pictured it - not even close. he didn’t expect there to be takeaway on the nightstand and rumpled covers all around them. he didn’t expect michel to be in his lap, and he sure as hell didn’t expect his hair to be an absolute mess. he didn’t expect any of this. he wouldn’t change a single fucking thing. “i love you, you infuriatingly lovely man.” he tilts his head back, dark eyes bright and wet, bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “i can’t believe you just proposed to me here - ” anton gestured to their room, shaking his head with a giggle, “ - but i still love you.”

he doesn’t need to think about the answer, though; doesn’t even need to take his time, doesn’t need to mull over it for even the skin of a moment. because he’s pretty sure he’s known the answer since the first time they met, since he’d turned and smiled at a gorgeous stranger and felt absolutely bowled over. he’s known the answer since they moved into this shoddy flat, since they painted the living rooms walls that awful yellow and laughed into messy kisses on the newspaper covered floors. he’s known the answer all those very many times that he’s stood cooking dinner and blown over a spoonful of sauce, passing it over for mica to taste and smiling affectionately at his reply. hell, he’s known the answer on all those mornings when they’ve moved around each other symbiotically, getting dressed and doing their hair; pulling each other in for drawn out kisses and drinking their morning coffee pressed against each other on the tube. anton knows he’s a lot to handle - knows he’s more than what anyone’s ever tried to handle. he’s got a lot of baggage, literal and metaphorical. he steals clothes even though he has more clothes than he’ll ever wear; it takes him at least an hour to put his face on in the morning; he’s never been appropriate in his entire life, and he’s pretty sure he never will be. but mica’s taken him for what he is, whether that’s in skirts on a july evening out or hoodies in the dead cold of winter. he’s taken him for all his tantrums and insecurities, held his hand through every shitty performance review and kissed him goodnight even when they’ve had a row. anton knows, he does. he knows that michel’s got his own demons, that there are some things he’ll never understand, that his boyfriend has his own moments of impatience. but he wants to be there for every single one of them, and he’s known that for four years, ever since he caught sight of him in the middle of a crowded museum. 

flipping them over, he pushes mica down onto the mattress until they’re face to face, chest to chest, legs a tangle of limbs. he wants this forever - them, their little world. in the end, he doesn’t really need much at all. “you’re my favourite part of every day too,” anton replies, knocking their noses together as he brushes his hair off his face and leans in for a chaste kiss. he’s never understood the point of family because he’s never had much of one, but. but michel is the family he wants - the family he wants to stand up and declare himself to, because this is the one person who can make his heart beat out of his ribcage and calm down all at once. michel is the one person he can give himself to and know he’s completely safe. his world is rose-coloured with or without glasses and anton can’t imagine a life without this man. “i love you too, shatzi.” he smiles, wide and easy and honest. he wants to see mica graduate art school and he wants another cat, maybe even a dog. he wants a wedding where they don’t have to pretend like they’re anything but who they are, and he wants a honeymoon where he can leave bruises and promises against mica’s hips. he wants an eternity of laughs shared over the bathroom sink and he wants to huddle close in the middle of every single night because he’s sure they’re together. he wants everything they can have in this lifetime, he’ll get the rest in another. “i love you more than you will ever know and more than i can ever tell you.” anton kisses his cheek, hands cupped around his jaw. “ michel johann kemmerich, of course i’ll fucking marry you.” laughing, he dips in for a longer kiss, insistent and sloppy. “i’m going to be the best goddamn husband you’ve ever had.”

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quick announcement: it is (1) boy’s birthday today aka anton has turned 27!!!!!!!!

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beatrice:

“oh dear!’ beatrice said with a little bit of a flush on her face. she had taken a walk home from breakfast, taking the park as a way home instead of the quick way or the subway. but she of course had bumped into a stranger on the way, she was unsure what to do with the meeting. “yes, of course, it was minor. what about yourself?”

“i’m completely fine,” demetrios replied with a guilty smile, hands raised in surrender. “though i think i should get my eyes checked - i wasn’t looking where i was going.” really, one day he’d have to have his clumsiness examined by a scientific expert. probably angelina, if he could convince her to spare the time. “are you sure you’re alright?”

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138-139-140/? favorite Sam Claflin photos

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sebastian:

sebastian rested his chin upon his hand. “perhaps. don’t tell anyone. god forbid ‘m not a hardass businessman.” he purses his lips, but there��s still a friendliness in his green eyes. “maybe i will. laws are fickle things. there’s usually some loophole.” sebastian shrugged it off and grinned to himself. he used his finger to trace little designs on his napkin. “you know, when i was a kid…i really wanted to be tattoo artist.” he smiles, lightly. “i thought it would a noble profession, creating art on someone’s skin.” sebastian seemed to lose his train of thought and nodded mutely at anton’s words. “then i’ll take ‘em.” the drunk man glanced up at anton. “spicy will do just fine, love.”

his head snapped up, eyebrows raised in complete surprise. “you’re a businessman?” anton asked, disbelief colouring his wife as he frowned in confusion. nothing - absolutely nothing about this stranger screamed professional or stodgy. if anything, he’d expected him to be anything but. “let me know how that goes, then,” he added with a laugh, shaking his head. really, some people were enigmas. handing another drink to a particularly rude customer, he turned back to sebastian with a grin. “why didn’t you?” came the question, simple and curious. after all, he’d become an actor without his family’s acceptance - not that it paid well at all. “i’ve never met a tattoo artist who doesn’t love their job.” especially not his; his tattoo guy was far too enthusiastic. nodding at the reply, anton filled up a glass of cold water and set it down in front of the man. “coming right up.”

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– ida & anton ;

ida: i hate you so much rn

ida: is that even autocorrect?

ida: 🤔

ida: lOOK SHUT UP!!!

ida: for um, ever since i got back from uni so..

anton: you love me always, don't lie

anton: i like to keep you guessing

anton: WHAT!!!!

anton: how is this the first i'm hearing about this ajsdbsn

anton: so is it "casual" or actually casual

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i am finally somewhat awake so replies will be out in the next hour - if i miss you, please let me know!!! x

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we’re all stories in the end || anton + michel

i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. we are good people and we’ve suffered enough. [ x ]

@rebclhearts 

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IN HONOR OF OUR FINAL AU WEEK, WE’RE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE IT’S HONESTY HOUR MONDAY !

please reblog this post to show that you’re participating in honesty hour !  ANON OR NOT, YOU MUST ANSWER EVERY QUESTION IN YOUR INBOX — DON’T FORGET TO DO SO AS YOUR 2018 INCARNATIONS !

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by my count, these are the replies i’ve gotta get out - but i’m terrible at maths, so lemme know if i missed you!!! also, hmu if you’d like to plot more for modern au or the aftermath of the explosion!!! x

anton ( 2 )

anton to melchior

anton to alexandre 

demetrios ( 8 )

demetrios to celine

demetrios to tomas

demetrios to angelina

demetrios to aileen

demetrios to apolonia

demetrios to ivar

demetrios to agatha

demetrios to beatrice

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– ida & anton ;

ida: he does wears a leather jacket

ida: obv i would never approach someone ever, you know this so it was all his doing basically he told me my skating was fab which is lIKE the woRST ever? but ok i guess?

ida: it was v obv he was flirting and we just kept in contact after that and well - things escalated p quickly

ida: i GUESS you could say we're friends? idk

anton: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU RN

anton: he told you he likes your SCATING?

anton: *SKATING??? wow that boy was tryin

anton: oh oh sure friends 😏😏😏

anton: how long has this been going on??

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megaira:

It may only be thirteen degrees at most ( practically blistering in comparison to this years supposed spring weather so far ), but Megaira had fully embraced the sunshine anyway. Floral dress paired with trusty yellow docs and, of course, bumblebee sunglasses. Eccentric attire that was completed with an ice cream cone that it was no where near warm enough for, and yet. “Shit no…” She shakes her head, brows drawn together dramatically as Cerberus barks excitedly at her side. “No, I think I have whiplash. Gonna have to give you my lawyers card.”

he immediately drops to one knee, uncaring of how the ground is an inch thick with mud, his smile as wide as it can possibly go. no walk in the park is complete without running into a dog - especially when that dog happens to be his baby sister’s. “but this guy’s alright - aren’t ya, buddy?” demetrios coos at cerberus, holding his hand out and then gently petting his neck. throwing meg a mischievous smile, he gathers to his feet; pulling her into a quick hug. “oh, i think i know him,” he jokes, a laugh on his tongue. “tall, blond hair, charges a damn fortune? also - switch with me.” holding out his sunglasses, demetrios gestured to meg’s patterned ones instead. “but this is a nice surprise; i’d have thought you’d be out gallivanting in croatia or something by now.”

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– victor & anton

victor: if i bring him treats the next time, will that make it better?

victor: go on. i'm still listening

victor: you know i always leave room for dessert

anton: ofc, you'll become his favourite

anton: he's just a diva - idk where he gets that from 🤷

anton: s i g h

anton: you, victor, are the smartest and prettiest person i know (after me) even though you work nights and never get any beauty sleep. better?

anton: i knew you were my favourite for a reason! team dessert, always.