paolathoughtdumps

[paolathoughtdumps]

Love feeding the delusions 😗🫶

Frightenedly aware

I’m getting closer to the feeling

I thought I had control over.

Stop — analyse — see through the lies.

Now I’m losing control over it all.

The bar keeps lowering

because all I want is for my brain

to agree with my heart.

I’m frightenedly aware

of the way you make me function my thoughts,

yet, no excuse

will remain unthought of —

so that I can continue

to paint this picture of you

that’ll never leave,

like you once did.

-Pao

[paolathoughtdumps]

Frightenedly aware

I’m getting closer to the feeling

I thought I had control over.

Stop — analyse — see through the lies.

Now I’m losing control over it all.

The bar keeps lowering

because all I want is for my brain

to agree with my heart.

I’m frightenedly aware

of the way you make me function my thoughts,

yet, no excuse

will remain unthought of —

so that I can continue

to paint this picture of you

that’ll never leave,

like you once did.

-Pao

[paolathoughtdumps]

HE MEASURED HIS AFFECTION IN HESITATION— say it louder for the ppl in the back cus omg

the saddest part

wasn’t the silence,

or the goodbye dressed in excuses,

or even the way he said he wasn’t trying to hurt me

as he tore me open.

the saddest part

was knowing—

we could’ve made it.

if he had just loved me back

with the same ferocity.

if he had fought

even a little.

because love isn’t always easy,

but it’s worth it

when it’s real.

and i would’ve moved mountains,

cities,

entire lifetimes

just to stand beside him.

but he didn’t move an inch.

not even for me.

and that’s how i know

i loved him more.

how it tilts inside me

like a house on broken stilts—

i gave everything

and he measured his affection

in hesitation.

and god,

i don’t think i’ve ever hated anything

the way i hate

wanting him.

i don’t think i’ve ever felt more humiliated

than loving someone

who let me go

with such quiet ease.

if he had loved me,

he would’ve stayed.

he would’ve called.

he would’ve fought.

but he didn’t.

and now i’m left

with this awful truth:

i wasn’t asking for too much—

i was just asking the wrong person.

[paolathoughtdumps]

Last like hits so hard

@kiisuuumii (love letter)

[paolathoughtdumps]

Someone liked it so now I feel validated so here it is again 💌

Romantic Delusions

I feel you in my skin

I’m drunk on you to the bone.

Butterflies or trauma response, it could go so wrong.

I’m a fixer and you need one — you need what I could give you if you let me.

All my feelings feel so raw,

I’ve seen this story before.

Talk about your past like we could have a future,

maybe it’s just me, romantic delusions.

Am I projecting?

Am I the one that’s really scared?

You scarred me once before

but now it wouldn’t be so simple.

To me. To me.

I let in more than I deceive,

play it cool but I’m pacing after every “send” I hit —

something I’m scared to admit.

The feeling it’s rushing to me

I want to confess like I’ve been holding this deep in my chest.

I don’t love you yet but I could,

what’s left to know is if I should?

-Pao

[paolathoughtdumps]

First post teehee, wrote this in 30 seconds idk if it’s good 😗✌️

Romantic Delusions

I feel you in my skin

I’m drunk on you to the bone.

Butterflies or trauma response, it could go so wrong.

I’m a fixer and you need one — you need what I could give you if you let me.

All my feelings feel so raw,

I’ve seen this story before.

Talk about your past like we could have a future,

maybe it’s just me, romantic delusions.

Am I projecting?

Am I the one that’s really scared?

You scarred me once before

but now it wouldn’t be so simple.

To me. To me.

I let in more than I deceive,

play it cool but I’m pacing after every “send” I hit —

something I’m scared to admit.

The feeling it’s rushing to me

I want to confess like I’ve been holding this deep in my chest.

I don’t love you yet but I could,

what’s left to know is if I should?

-Pao

[paolathoughtdumps]

Romantic Delusions

I feel you in my skin

I’m drunk on you to the bone.

Butterflies or trauma response, it could go so wrong.

I’m a fixer and you need one — you need what I could give you if you let me.

All my feelings feel so raw,

I’ve seen this story before.

Talk about your past like we could have a future,

maybe it’s just me, romantic delusions.

Am I projecting?

Am I the one that’s really scared?

You scarred me once before

but now it wouldn’t be so simple.

To me. To me.

I let in more than I deceive,

play it cool but I’m pacing after every “send” I hit —

something I’m scared to admit.

The feeling it’s rushing to me

I want to confess like I’ve been holding this deep in my chest.

I don’t love you yet but I could,

what’s left to know is if I should?

-Pao