phantasmagoricvanillabean

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

so this guy I matched with asked me how I use astrology to inform my fashion decisions. I told him I use my rising sign to style myself and I think others should too because it helps people find the style that suits them as opposed to just following the trends.

he then asks me what I think his rising sign is based on his style and promptly follows that text with “I never thought about dressing like that,” as if I’m just supposed to guess based on his lack of trying. like hello? are you hearing yourself?

idk, maybe I just expect too much from people, but it’s like oh my godddd come awnnnn

I think I’ll just unmatch them, because we’re not even dating yet, and you’re already pissing me off.

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

I love Seth Thomas so much I have to destroy him.

Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

I recently, made the decision to finally annex some people from my life who were doing more harm to my mental health and self image than good. I realised, I was trying so hard to like a person I didn't actually like, and who I now realise, didn't really like me. It's one thing to be a bad texter, but it's another to completely ignore a person on purpose and habitually. I was being ignored... maybe because I came on too strong, or because I reminded them of their shortcomings, but regardless, I was owed clarity, and time and time again, I did not get it.

Why was I trying to like a person who I knew deep down I didn't like because of their elusive nature? Their other qualities that initially drew me to them, I found, were not enough to keep me stuck in this endless cycle of confusion and yearning. Besides, it became apparent that they didn't even like me. I see that now, and I had to just let them go... finally. This time, for good.

I wish I was just a character in some piece of media so the audience would ship me with someone. I just want someone to clock the most obvious person I should be with that clearly I’m failing to recognize myself.

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

firm believer that phil should do a show and tell video once a week on his side channel which is just him bringing an object to show us and telling a story

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

nice pair of characters who trust each other more than anyone else in the whole entire world it would sure be a shame if one of them betrayed that trust for the sake of trying to keep the other alive. it would sure be a shame to love someone so much you destroy them

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

has anyone made the connection that innies are literally RAMCOA alters/systems? it’s just extremely apparent that Lumon is a cult bordering on existing as a somewhat religion for the people of this reality, and being that (to my knowledge) RAMCOA is usually carried out by cults, I thought this would be an interesting connection to make

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

love it when they overshare. ill be sitting watching the video going "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP" but im lying. keep talking

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

Chuck Palahniuk, 'Invisible Monsters' (1999) / Hannibal, 'Su-Zakana' (2014)

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

Rebrand is actually just Dan and Phil returning to tumblr

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

I wish I was just a character in some piece of media so the audience would ship me with someone. I just want someone to clock the most obvious person I should be with that clearly I’m failing to recognize myself.

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

obsessed with the Helena and Irving parallel and what it says about the aspects of our identity we think are fundamental (but aren't)...

Like Outie Irving assumes his Innie is just as radically anti-Lumon as he is. He assumes his hatred of Lumon is something ingrained in his personality! That's why he stays up at night drinking coffee and making paintings, because he hopes that when his innie dreams about the testing floor, he'll say "okay bet" and start exploring. That's what Outie Irving would do, after all. But he miscalculated! His hatred of Lumon isn't inherent--- his desire for meaning and art and spirituality is inherent. That's what his hatred for Lumon is built on. But in a world where there's no meaning outside of Lumon propaganda, of COURSE his innie would become ridiculously devoted to the company.

And Helena!! She is the corporation, that's her whole identity. She presumably assumed that Helly would be just as pro-Lumon as she is. But she miscalculated too! Her devotion to the company isn't inherent, her headstrong and entitled nature is what's inherent! And in a world where she's denied any agency whatsoever, that manifests as rebellion.

It's the same dynamic flipped on its head. They both sent their innies in there with opposite intentions--- one to take down the company, one feed the company's expansion--- only to realize that rebellion and devotion aren't inherent characteristics. Their innies have become the exact opposite of their outie selves, while still being exactly the same!! Because even though your personality is inherent, the values you hold are determined circumstantially. OUGH IT'S SO GOOD.

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

SISYPHUS GETS A 9 TO 5

[spoilers for all of severance season 1. words by northernlion, brain worms by me]

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

@pscentral​ event 39: pride

This is our space, our time to thrive It's us against the world, together we'll survive

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

Love doing my own thing I could never be scared or bored of being alone I LOVE MY PERSONAL SILENCE #MySilence

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

as someone who's not sex-repulsed, I absolutely hate being demisexual. it's like really craving some cake, but every single store you go to, no one is selling cake, it's not on any of the shelves. and of course you could make it at home, but it won't be the same as the real thing. in the meantime, you still go to the grocery store because there's other stuff there they offer, and you keep going back to the same grocery store, for months and months. and finally after months or even years of going to this grocery store, there you see it! they're selling cake! you're so surprised, you're shocked, you can't believe it.

so you decide you want to buy the cake---you've been craving some for years after all. but before you can, the manager comes to you and you express your shock at their finally having cake for sale, and the manager says, well yes, you've developed such a loyalty to our store, so of course, now the cake is on sale (it's a weird reality this is set in, just go with it). the manager says to you, but once tell us you want to buy this cake, we can choose to reject you and never let you in the store again, and you'll have to start shopping somewhere else where they also won't be selling any cake... OR we could let you buy the cake, and if you decide you like it that's great! but if you don't like it, you can't come back, and again you'll have to go somewhere else to do your shopping and start the process all over again.

so now, you have a choice to make. what if I tell them I want to buy the cake, and the store denies me? I've built such a loyalty with them, I always get my groceries here. forget losing the cake, I could risk losing my favorite grocery store. but what if they don't deny me, and I finally get to buy the cake I've been craving for so long, and I still get to shop at my favorite grocery store? that would be amazing! but what if I then get tired of the cake, or it starts to go bad, and then I lose cake (no matter had bad it starts to make me feel) and my grocery store...

so I decide I'll pass on the cake. this is is my favorite grocery store, I don't want to ruin my chances of being able to shop here. so every time I do my shopping, I'm glad to be here, but I'll always stroll a little slower past the cake displays with a sense of melancholy, always on the verge of trying to make a decision, but always failing

[phantasmagoricvanillabean]

ty for the tag @pinknoisephenomenon <3

tagging @purpurussy @norahscorner @wotcaneyesay @bobbibitybob @gamora-borealis @future-violent-things @theythemmer @ghoulish-art-tendencies and any other friends who wanna join in <3

picrew chain time!! make yourself a cheeky little icon using this picrew, reblog & tag ur pals!! to start us off: @lightyaoigami @lightyakami @deelavis @dreamfilleddonuts @catboymettaton @vorareromantic @queer-omens-in-the-archives