phyrexianphamily

[phyrexianphamily]

Urza: I know you don't think it's a show. I don't doubt your emotions are real, but what's the point of all the sad faces and the gnashing of teeth? If you're not gonna change your behavior — and you won't — why not just skip the whole exercise? In the end, you're gonna hurt everyone around you. You can't help it, so stop apologizing and accept it, embrace it. Frankly, I'd have more respect for you if you did.

Mishra: What about you, Urza? You didn't do anything wrong? You're just an innocent victim?

Urza: Let me put your mind at ease, Mishra. You don't have to make up with me. We don't have to understand each other. Things are fine the way they are. Hey, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but the truth is you never mattered all that much to me.

[phyrexianphamily]

Lesbians eat WHAT?

Ajani moments before being revealed as the sleeper agent, Dominaria United

[phyrexianphamily]

happy Valentine’s Day! have some phyrexia themed valentine art i made last year! [feel free to use for any noncommercial purposes :3]

[phyrexianphamily]

Toxic Deluge: starts

Elesh Norn: [standing outside the Fair Basilica with open arms] ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD-

[phyrexianphamily]

Dear Jin-Gitaxias... I didn't even know you were a father. Were your children created artificially or... "born", for lack of a better word? And who is the mother?

The Mother is Elesh Norn, of course.

(He grinds out a strange laugh.) See what I did there? A piece of wordplay. No, fleshling, there is no "mother" to my offspring. No Phyrexian requires a mate in the act of procreation--that is an inefficiency of the flesh that we have long since discarded. All that is required is a mature compleated individual's oil, and suitable flesh or metal substrate to serve as a starting point for the creation of germs.

I utilized my own oil and biologic components in the creation of my offspring. Like myself, most Phyrexians favor the usage of vats in dedicated facilities over internal gestation, the better to monitor germ growth and nutrition without compromising the mobility of the parent. Each of my own clutches was incubated this way before maturing sufficiently to be decanted as newts.

One cannot help but note the irony of Elesh Norn's title. She calls herself the Mother, and yet of all the praetors, I am the only one who has so much as sired offspring. It truly makes one think.

-J

[phyrexianphamily]

Gonna tell my kids these two were Yawgmoth and Rebbec

Source

[phyrexianphamily]

This is so lovely and terrifying <3

I'm a bit disappointed that we'll never get to see Phyrexian otters, they would have been the apex of horrific cuteness.

[phyrexianphamily]

Rebbec: Yawgmoth... [holding back tears as she grabs the powerstones] I have had the time of my life with you. But we are bad for everyone around us. Other people suffer because of us. Apart we're okay, but together we're poison.

Yawgmoth: [shakes his head] No, no. Just tell me what I need to do to change, okay? Just tell me what it is, and I'll do it.

Rebbec: [turning to leave Phyrexia] Yawg...

Yawgmoth: No, Rebbec. You make me happy. We make each other happy. How can that be bad? Hey... I... I love you.

Rebbec: I love you, too. [voice breaking] But so what?

[phyrexianphamily]

Jin-Gitaxias: Jellyfish have survived for 600,000 years without brains.

Sheoldred: A ray of hope for Vorinclex.

[phyrexianphamily]

I drink all this water and for what? Just to piss? This plane is a prison!

Vorinclex on Kaldheim

[phyrexianphamily]

Uh, quick question, who here knows what a Halcyon sunroof is? Anybody? You, sir? No? Okay. True story, uh, back home, uh, there was this guy named Glacian. Now, Glacian was a real asshole. [...] One little Halcyon sunroof, and suddenly I'm Nicol Bolas?! And that's where it all went off the rails. I've been paying for it ever since. That's why I'm here! I don't...You know what? [sniffs and holds back tears] Any of this stuff you want, come get it. Perfection for everybody.

Yawgmoth, before the events of The Thran

[phyrexianphamily]

And you know what, I think it’s right that Yawgmoth is still out there. Because you shouldn’t define people by their maddest edges. And what Yawgmoth is, is he’s a semi-psychopath. He’s a gray area in a world that doesn’t like gray areas. But the gray areas are where you find the complexity. It’s where you find the humanity, and it’s where you find the truth. And Yawgmoth said to me, “Rebbec, could I buy you a drink in a bar? I just want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” ... and I didn’t go. What would you have done?

Gaea, Time Spiral

[phyrexianphamily]

Don't you wanna be evil like me? Don't you wanna be mean? Don't you wanna make mischief your daily routine? Well you can spend your life attending to the poor But when you're evil doing less is doing more Don't you wanna be ruthless and rotten and mad? Don't you wanna be very, very good at being bad?

Valgavoth to Loot, Duskmourn: House of Horrors

[phyrexianphamily]

Rakdos: I don't know, Lavinia, sometimes the security is pretty lax. The last flight I took was gayjacked.

[Flashback to Gideon jumping onto Rakdos's head]

Gideon: This demon's going to the Iroan Games!

[phyrexianphamily]

Ral: (Singing) Now my glory days are gone I was like Yawgmoth, now I’m Valgavoth The whole Gatewatch now suspects All those otters had side-effects But I’m not gay and that’s what I said If I’m gay, then, Niv, strike me dead, you know?

(A five-colored lightning barely misses him)

Ral: That’s weird.

[phyrexianphamily]

Okay, I've got to look through the oil... okay. I'm one with the oil. I see... lipstick. On a red-headed beauty in the sunlight, wearing a shining armor, angels singing praises around her... I'M A LESBIAN!

Elesh Norn seeing Elspeth in her nightmare

[phyrexianphamily]

Jin-Gitaxias: (While trying on his Kamigawan clothes) Tinker Tailor, I need room. Something around half Hans, before the Lhurgoyf.

Tezzeret: But sir, I don't have the proper materials.

Jin-Gitaxias: (Rips off part of Tezzeret's shirt) Found some.

(He hands it to Tezzeret and shuts the sliding door.)

Tezzeret: (Grumbling) Resourceful.