portraitofmichael-blog

[portraitofmichael-blog]

izzyxlockgaurd‌:

Isabel smiled, nodding to him. “I actually haven’t read it. Lately I’ve been reading things that are either mind numbingly simple or things that are for work. I haven’t had the opportunity to read Pride and Prejudice so far.” She gave him a sheepish smile, looking down. “It’s kind of funny and also very pathetic.” She laughed softly, bringing her gaze back to him. “I’m Isabel. Thank you for the recommendation, by the way.” 

“Oh it’s not pathetic. You should check it out though. If you’re more into fantasy and such I can recommend Bram Stoker’s Dracula though, I just did a reread of it this fall and it’s quite good. I’m Michael, it’s a pleasure to meet you Isabel.” Michael blushed just slightly, not too used to talking with people in the library, or other places for that matter.

[portraitofmichael-blog]

Michael was just looking through the shelves, waiting for someone to scream out at him to read it. He was aware that someone else rounded the corner of the shelf and was slowly working their way towards him, and he was just about to pick out a random book just to get out of their way when the woman spoke to him. “Me? Uh I guess that depends on what you like to read. If you’re out for a classic I just finished a reread of Pride and Prejudice, but I figure you’ve probably read it already.”

Isabel perused through the library, stopping among different genres to find something new to read. It wasn’t often that she had the time to go anywhere but work, and today she felt comfortable and happy that she was able to do so. Sighing to herself, she decided to go for something outside of her normal and into something she hadn’t read before. Looking through titles, she frowned, recognize quite a bit but unsure of what to read. “Any ideas on where I should start?” She turned her head and asked the person nearest to her with a small smile, feeling ridiculous. 

@portraitofmichael

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

Jasper stayed silent as Michael spoke, and he was glad he did. He almost didn’t hear what Michael had admitted, too rushed, too quiet, to decipher easily. Once he really registered that Michael had come out to him, Jasper was floored. Not just because Michael was gay, but because it was almost, mundane. Jasper had been expecting something life shattered to hear, and knowing that his friend was just scared to come out was astonishing. Then again, he didn’t know much of his friend’s past, Michael might not have had the same welcoming environment, but with how his mother had welcomed Jasper himself, he highly doubted that as the case. And now he’s been silent too long, caught up in his own internal fuckery as he usually was, but what could he say? He tried to remember what it was like when he came out to his own mother, but it was so long ago, buried deep down with every other memory of her except the last moments she ever had, he couldn’t quite recall what turmoil this could be. “Thank you,” he started, squeezing Michael’s arm once again, “for trusting me with this. I’d like to think I’m very obvious about being gay myself, so you aren’t alone in this.” Jasper smiled at Mike once again, suddenly very aware of the fact that he wanted to kiss him. A lot. It was a feeling that he had for a very long time but never allowed himself to acknowledge as he never even entertained the idea that Michael was anything other than straight. He couldn’t get his hopes up though. Jasper and Michael were friends, and Jasper couldn’t, wouldn’t, risk that for anything.

Michael’s heart was beating too fast, and for every second Jasper was quiet his desire to sink into the ground increased. Why had he even said anything? Had it been this obscure hope he had that there could be something between them? No, it was more than that. His childish crush was a factor, of course, but it was primarily about needing someone to know. 

Finally Jasper spoke and Michael sighed, overrun by relief. “I was worried for a moment there,” he admitted, his face taking a slightly pink shade. He bit his lip and looked at his hands. “I- uh it’s good to know I’m not alone I guess, thank you.” 

Boys in books are better

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

Jasper wasn’t too sure what to think anymore, not with what Michael was saying. It no longer sounded like he needed help hiding some corpses, which was good, he wouldn’t have been able to take Paisley with them while they went. He nodded along and squeezed Michael’s arm lightly as he spoke, a gentle reminder that he was still there and wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He didn’t quite understand about Michael feeling like he needed to hide this poem away from any potential onlookers, going as far as to read it in an incognito tab on his laptop, alone. “Mike,” he whispered again, not moving his hand off of his arm. “Whatever it is that you’re trying to tell me, I can promise you, we’ll be okay.” He gave Michael a small, reassuring smile. “And that’s true whether you believe me or not.” There was really nothing Michael could tell Jasper at that point that would make him want to stop talking to the other werewolf. “You have nothing to be afraid of.” After everything Jasper had been through and done himself, he couldn’t pass judgement on anyone else.

Michael, of course, thought he’d been very clear, and was confused that Jasper still didn’t get what he was trying to say. He sighed, and pressed two fingers to his temple, using his free arm. Thinking it over maybe he had been a bit vague. “I- well I know we’ll be okay, I think. It’s just hard to say, so I’m being a bit vague. I’ve just been so focused on hiding this that I guess I think any subtle hint will make people realize it.” He took a deep breath again, and looked up at Jasper. “What I’m trying to say, beyond just the weird metaphors is-” he stopped, the words getting stuck in his throat. He looked down again, his eyes fixing on his knees. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m gay.” He spoke fast and in a low voice, not too low to hear, but low enough.

Boys in books are better

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

Jasper sat quietly as Michael tried to work out what he wanted to tell him, and whatever it was, seemed very important, and Jasper wasn’t about to rush him on it. While Michael spoke of the poem, Jasper’s brow furrowed slightly in confusion. What was Michael getting at, double life? “Yeah, I’m following you so far,” he said quietly, not wanting to push Michael too much. Jasper had no idea what Michael was starting to get at, but with how Hawthorne had been to those who lived here, he was starting to suspect that he needed help hiding some bodies, and Jasper knew of a couple places on the outskirts of town that would work well, of course they’d need to move at night when everything was quieter, and they’d need to carry vervain in case they ran into any vampires, but if they moved quick enough it wouldn’t take more than one night per body.  He reached out and placed his hand on Michael’s arm in what he hoped was a comforting way. “Breathe, whatever it is you want to tell me, it’s alright.”

Michael exhaled, looking at Jasper. He could do this. The light pressure of Jasper’s hand on his arm was calming, grounding. After a moment he started speaking again. “Okay, so I’m not trying to be over dramatic, rationally I’m not afraid of dying multiple deaths. Just keep the thing about the poem in mind. See, there’s this thing I’ve been keeping to myself, and I didn’t think I’d need to tell anyone. And I do all these things to avoid having people find out, and now whenever I read my favorite poem it feels like I’m personally offending Oscar Wilde. I don’t even have a physical copy of the poem, I read it in an incognito window on my laptop when I’m home alone.” He sighed, “and I know he’s dead and that even if there is an afterlife Oscar Wilde wouldn’t care what some dude in Hawthorne was up to, but this magnificent legend of a man wrote this poem about his stay in prison for unapologetically being himself. It changed him for life Jasper and even after that he said that he who lives more lives than one, more deaths than one must die, and I’m here completely ignoring that warning. I���m not risking prosecution or anything like that, I’m just scared.” 

Boys in books are better

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

The admission of not having a lot of people to invite over was shocking to Jasper, to say the least. Michael and his mother were some of the most welcoming people Jasper had ever come to known, how anyone would not want to interact with him was beyond anything he could comprehend really. “She’s one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met, you know. A downright saint at some points.” He smiled, shaking his head a bit.

The uptick in Michael’s heart rate, along with the very odd and even more vague question put Jasper on mild edge. He wasn’t scared, no, but worried for his friend, already trying to think of places in Hawthorne to eventually hide a body should that need to be the case. “Of course, you can tell me anything,” was out of his mouth before he really had time to process what he was saying. Was he really okay with someone trusting him that much? Someone that he could trust in return. One look at Michael now, obviously nervous about what he had to say, and how he wanted Jasper to be the one to hear it, was enough to solidify that yes, he made the right call. “You know I’m always here for you.”

Michael smiled at the nice comment about his mother, before Jasper said he could tell him anything. For a brief moment Michael regretted saying anything, and considered if he could get out of it somehow, but no. He wanted this, he’d been trying to say it since before the winter potluck. “Well, I don’t know how to say this exactly... Well there’s this poem I’ve been rereading, the Ballad of Reading Gaol, and it’s about Oscar Wilde’s time in prison, and through the whole thing he’s admiring this dude who’s awaiting his execution you know. It’s a beautiful poem, and-” he stops himself, “I’m going a bit off track, sorry. I’m a bit nervous.” He takes a deep breath, and tries again. “Anyway, there’s this line in it that goes he who lives more lives than one, more deaths than one must die, and it kind of hits me I guess, because... well he’s not talking about literal lives of course, it’s not about reincarnation or anything. It’s about living like a secret life you know, kind of like Bruce Wayne living a secret life as Batman. Are you with me so far?”

Boys in books are better

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌: 

Jasper smiled at Michael as he left, unaware of how the simple act of calling him Mike made him feel. He took the time to check on Paisley more, making sure she was okay on her play mat. Seeing as how she was still entertained by the colorful objects above her and showed so impending signs of distress, Jasper settled back onto the couch just in time to see Michael come back.

“Wow,” he said, a little surprised by the amount offered. Hearing that Michael’s mom had gone overboard again, and with it remaining unsaid that Jasper’s presence was the cause of it was almost more than he could bare. Michael and his mother were so kind to him while asking nothing in return. “Thank you, both you and your mom. This is really nice of you two.” He took one of the chocolates that was there and looked at it for a moment. Did they even realize how much this meant to him? “You really don’t need to go all out like this for me though, not that I don’t appreciate it, I really, really do.” He ate the piece of candy then, just to shut himself up.

Michael smiled, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. He was just a bit embarrassed that his mum always went overboard like this, not because he thought she was embarrassing, but because he thought it made it obvious that he’d never really had friends before. This was Jasper though, Jasper whom he wanted to know his deepest secret, and who already knew that Michael didn’t exactly swim in friends. “Oh, she’s just thrilled that there’s someone to  go all out for, you know. I don’t have people over very often after all.” 

Seeing Jasper like that, putting a piece of candy in his mouth to stop himself from rambling, much like Michael would when he needed an excuse not to say anything, inspired Michael. Before he had a chance to change his mind he took a shaky breath and even before his lips parted he felt his heartbeat rise. “Hey Jasper, can I tell you something?” 

Boys in books are better

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

A quiet evening in with his friend was just what Jasper needed. While the rest of the town was gathered, all dressed up and making small talk, he was curled up on one of Michael’s couches, reading the book Michael himself gave him while Paisley was on her play mat in front of him so he could easily keep an eye on his niece. It was, peaceful. Something Jasper didn’t think he’d ever get again. Michael gave him a lot of things he never thought he’d have again, and it did things to his feelings.

He looked up when he felt like Michael was going to say something, only seeing him with his nose in the book in his hands. It wasn’t long before Michael asked him about snacks, and he offered him a smile, looking down to make sure Paisley was still enjoying herself before turning back to his friend. “Sure, Mike, that sounds good.” 

“Cool, I’ll be right back,” Michael said, trying to contain the emotion in his voice as he got up and headed out to the kitchen. It was something about the way Jasper so casually called him Mike that made him just a little bit teary eyed while he found the snacks. Michael didn’t have nicknames. His mother had called him Mikey when he was younger, but that didn’t count. He’d never had a friend shorten his name like that, and now Jasper did. He smiled like an idiot while he put chocolate and fruit caramels in bowls and found a bigger one for the bag of chips. 

Soon he returned with various snacks and a can of soda for each of them on a tray, as well as a juice box for Paisley. He set it on the little table in the corner between the couches, and sat down so he was sitting in the end of the couch closest to the snack table, even though that made it harder to casually glance over at Jasper, which was a bit of a loss. “Help yourself, mum went a bit wild again.” 

Boys in books are better

[portraitofmichael-blog]

Boys in books are better

After the disaster that was the winter potluck staying home from this event hadn’t been a difficult choice to make. Jasper wasn’t going either, so Michael had asked him to come over, Now they were both in the living room, Michael curled up in the corner of one couch with a worn out paperback. From his position her could casually glance over at his friend, and smile seeing the other boy read. 

Hey Jasper, can I tell you something? he didn’t say. He wanted to, but the words got stuck in his chest, refusing to come out, so he looked back at his book instead. After a few seconds he said something completely different, “do you want some snacks?” 

@jasperxkeane

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

“It is what it is,” Jasper said again with a small, sad smile. He watched as Michael set his cup down on the table, moving closer to the other wolf. “It’s a lot easier than you might think, and she’s pretty settled right now, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Besides, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t trust you. Just, hold your arms out, and then I’ll help you position them properly.”

“Okay,” Michael said, his voice shaky. He slowly reached his arms out toward Jasper and the child. He was beyond nervous, but for some obscure reason Jasper trusted him, so he tried to remain calm. “Thank you, not a lot of people would trust me like this.” 

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

“My life is what it is, and I’m more than okay with it.” He shrugged, blowing some of his bangs out of his eyes. “But snapping at you is not okay, Michael, you don’t deserve it. You’re one of the few people who haven’t treated me like… me, ever. I’m bad with expressing emotions but I do really appreciate you.” Jasper smiled at Michael before looking to Paisley. “Did you want to try holding her?” he asked. Michael was one of the only people Jasper would ever trust with such a task. 

“You shouldn’t be,” Michael said, feeling more than a little bit hypocritical as he had pretty much accepted that his life just sucked. He shrugged and was about to say something else when Jasper asked if he wanted to hold the child. Slowly he set his glass of water down on a table, his eyes fixed on the girl. “Hold her? Are you sure that’s okay, I’ve never- I haven’t held a child before.” 

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

Jasper couldn’t help the small blush that colored his cheeks as Michael’s words. He cleared his throat and adjusted his grip on Paisley. “Oh. Thanks, Michael. That’s a really sweet thing of you to say. Sorry I kind of snapped before, I’m just used to people assuming the worst with me. But this is my niece, Paisley.”

Michael smiled a kinda sad smile, and looked at the child, “she’s adorable,” kinda like you, he kept the last part to himself and instead said, “and don’t worry about snapping it’s o-.” He stopped, then shook his head, “I mean, it’s obviously not okay, because that’s really sad Jasper, but the snapping itself is fine, I don’t mind.” He didn’t say anything about how he was questioning how good a friend he could be if Jasper thought he assumed the worst about him, but he made a note to try to be a better friend to the other wolf, if he could do that without letting him get too close. 

[portraitofmichael-blog]

Michael swallowed when Jasper talked to him, and responded with a nervous smile as he fidgeted with the sleeve of his blazer. “N-no that’s not it,” he said after a second or two had passed. “You just look really uh... at peace with her, like she belongs in your arms.” That and he’d been debating whether he should talk to Jasper about that thing, and hadn’t realized he’d been staring. 

Jasper stayed to the edges of the crowds, avoiding people as best as he could while he carried his niece Paisley around the party. It was obvious that Jemma wasn’t getting much time away from her daughter, and Jasper knew she could use a break, so he offered to watch her while Jemma relaxed for the night. “What, never seen a guy hold a baby before?” he asked as someone continued to watch him. “Or do you think I’m kidnapping her?”

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

Jasper was always surprised by people wanting to spend any amount of time with him, so it was still a shock that Michael had asked him to stay for a while. Jasper was sure Michael had better things to be doing than to spend any amount of time with him, so he was a little touched by it. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud. “Yeah?” he asked as his friend got his attention, listening to him wish him a happy belated birthday. Jasper couldn’t fight the small, embarrassed blush at having been caught muttering about it. “Oh, uh, thank you, Michael. It’s okay though, I’m not one to celebrate it usually. Things tend to always go wrong with it anyway, as you saw that night.”

“I get that,” Michael said, “I’m not a big fan of people knowing about mine either. Don’t like the attention I guess.” He wasn’t usually this open, which frankly says a lot, but he felt more comfortable talking with Jasper than most people. “I’m sorry about what happened by the way.” 

[portraitofmichael-blog]

Michael looked at the stranger, and nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, a barely audible sound. “I mean, yeah. I’m going there now actually,” he raised his voice to a level audible to people other than the norse god Heimdal, “I’ll show you if you want.”

Neil slid out of the uber without a word, rating the driver five stars for not speaking to him the entire time. He needed to get to know Hawthorne, seeing as how he planned to make this place his new home. “Excuse me,” he asked the first person he saw. “Do you know where the library is from here?”

[portraitofmichael-blog]

“Hey, Jasper?” Michael looked up at his friend, somewhat hesitant. They were sitting in his living room, just hanging out. Jasper was there to pick up his costume, and Michael had stepped out of his comfort zone and asked if he wanted to stay for a while. “I’m sorry I didn’t wish you happy birthday the other day. I heard you mutter about it and I got the impression that you didn’t want to make it a thing, but I keep thinking that I should have said it. So, uh... happy late birthday.”

[portraitofmichael-blog]

jasperxkeane‌:

Jasper flinched when he heard someone clearing his throat, face flushing in mild embarrassment at just being caught talking to himself. This town already didn’t like him enough as it was, he didn’t need to add fuel to the fire. Turning to go see who had come up to him, he relaxed as he saw it was Michael. “Oh, hey, I didn’t realize you were here.” Jasper glanced from Michael back to his costume, up to one of he two people he could call a friend in this town. “It wouldn’t be a problem, would it? I wouldn’t want to impose.” He asked quietly, unsure of what do to with that information. People didn’t often offer to help him out without wanting something in return.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” Michael apologized, shifting his weight between his feet. He looked at the costume, then smiled at Jasper. 

“It won’t be a problem, and I’d hate to see all your hard work go to waste.” His mum would probably just be happy that he had a friend, seeing as he hadn’t really had any for a long time. “If you want we can head right there, if you want an excuse to get out of here.”