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I am Gods weakest soldier

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my chemical romance fans when the band members are friends who hang out together and even occasionally make music

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— k.p.k

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insides out

to be loved is to be known

but i could never release a whisper slip past my lips

allowing access into the deepest corners of my life, the corners and ledges dusty and forgotten

willingly cutting myself open to display the parts that should never see natural light

holding up the putrid organ, looking through the rubbery flesh of my liver, watching the dim rays peek through

basking my ribs in the arid sun, bleaching them for no one

feeding the string back through the taught, layered skin

crudely stiching my sternum back together again

chest aching, forever bruised blue

it's nightmare, one i couldn't even explain to you

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A Nancy Drew who leaves her clues for the inquisitive eye to find

Alone in her sadness, she planted a memory of stagnancy 

Way up high she waited for someone to reach those skies 

The wilted garden vines of the coliseum shrines 

To forgotten gods and adversaries 

She knows how minuscule, how unimportant her existence is in the universe

But she can’t help but cry

Because she feels her life is awry

Will I ever matter? She wails

As heartache and pain pierce her fragile heart

Teaching her a lesson about how the true world works— and how blatantly obvious it has been 

Especially from the very start.

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“I can fix him dw” [drill sounds] {screaming} [chainsaw revving]

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one thing about me is that I do not play about catcher in the rye! like I'm sorry the traumatized mentally ill 16 year old is not acting in a mature enough manner for you! Surely the purpose of his thoughts and behavior is not meant to be a commentary on teenage mental illness and the way adults fail children and is instead bad writing that only manipulative and bad people enjoy and relate to.

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A life I yearn for but that only exists in my memories

I think of all the things I will never know again 

The calloused fingers in my hand when I had not known the horrors of man. 

Crude religious jokes and western television shows

Or the look of the snow from the farmhouse windows

The loving sun beaming across the grass, childhood dog running past

Such a pretty life; I wish I could view it

I’m so sick of myself. I'm through with this.

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songs i think ukai keishin listens to

no cuz this man is a strictly classic rock/punk rock radio listener 👁👁

this is very much based on the playlist i have for my dad whoops

unorganized, no angst, older man vibes ONLY

Stairway to Heaven- Led Zeppelin

he fuckin sits behind the counter of the store and pretends to play the guitar solo

reminds him of staying at his grandpas house when he was young

grandpa ukai has all the best vinyls‼️

listened to this album in high school with his friends

most likely around the time he picked up smoking

Crazy On You- Heart

squeaky high pitched singing ONLY

this is on the playlist he has for the store while he works

another air guitar song

makes him think of sitting at the bar tbh

nothing too special he just likes the song

Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana

angsty high school bullshit!

when this first blew up ukai was SHOOK

further fueled his addiction to smoking cuz of kurt

sis was devastated when kurt cobain died

like distraught.

I’m Just A Kid- Simple Plan

this was his anthem when he couldn’t decide what to do after high school

if he had lived in america he would have def gone to warped tour

high school keishin probably smelled like he belonged at warped tour. 🙂

was very into the punk rock/alternative scene so he got his ears pierced

it may or may not was done at claire’s.

When the Sun Hits- Slowdive

this is the vibe he has during the winter

it’s so cold he can’t be bothered to really do anything more than exist

he wanted to look like the band on the album art so badd💔

makes him think of how cold his hands get when he has to smoke

#lungcancer

honorable mentions!

Cherub Rock- The Smashing Pumpkins

Scar Tissue- Red Hot Chili Peppers

Boys Don’t Cry- The Cure

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songs i think yamaguchi tadashi listens to

i would love to be besties with him let’s be real here because we’re both sad bitches😏

unorganized, mild angst, summer vibes

Sun Tan- Wallows

yams loves sitting in the sun just listening to music

he sits with his feet in a plastic kiddie pool so he doesn’t sweat so much

he def burns like there’s no fucking tomorrow

so spf 100 for our queen🙌

Mr. Brightside- The Killers

this song makes yams think of how much he overthinks LMAO

but not in like a bad way

in a lol i’m anxious sometimes way👍

2000s punk is one of his favorite genres

so is indie but that’s for another day

Your Teeth- Peach Pit

insecurities check

reminds him of getting bullied in elementary

#kidsareassholes😡

he listens to this whole album when studying or doing chores

easy listening music comprises most of his playlists

She Likes Another Boy- Oscar Lang

literally he wants to be loved so bad

never having romantic interactions makes him feel like he’s unlovable :(

this is the lay in bed and stare at the ceiling song for him

yams would never admit it but he’s scared for the day he has to like be intimate with someone

mans is TERRIFIED

Nobody- Mitski

bad bitches are the saddest ones!😤

although he has his bestie tsuki

he feels detached from his peers

he tries to join larger groups of people but he gets too anxious to make plans

live laugh social anxiety

honorable mentions!

Clay Pigeons- Michael Cera

Danny- Goodnight Gorillas

Upside Down- Jack Johnson

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songs i think shoyo hinata listens to

hello queens! excited for this one because i love brazil hinata😚😚 he gives me beefy energy

this man also listens to like the radio? idk but it’s like all summer music because it’s hot as BALLS where i live

also do you think i’ll get like burned for how i spell characters names😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

unorganized, summer vibes asf, mentions of alcohol/drinking, no angst

Song of the Summer- Remo Drive

high school hinata would be too scared to mosh tbh

speaking from experience* literally this song is amazing to jump around to so he probs does it around his room

on the other hand brazil hinata fucks it UP to this song

like beach volleyball😳😏

imagine him all tan jumping around and bopping his head!

Everybody Wants To Rule The World- Tears for Fears

he first heard this when yams played it during practice and he was just blown away

like he constantly tries to get the rush he did when he heard it for the first time

he put it on a hodge podge playlist that’s titled “at the beach!😁”

he wants to rule the world what can i say🙄

argentina shoyo in sunglasses singing this song also

You Get What You Give- New Radicals

he listens to this after a game and kinda just vibes

he may be pumped up but this song helps him appreciate everything going on

another beach song oops😘

he probably loves the movie surfs up too LMAO

let’s be real hinata would listen to this while running and pretend he’s in a movie

Pursuit Of Happiness- Kid Cudi

first heard it from kageyama and i will NOT take no for an answer

but it turn kags got it from iwa in middle school

makes him think of high school and all of his hard work!!

also literally when he drank for the first time at a party he requested this song RELIGIOUSLY

def happened when he was a third year😋

The Spins- Mac Miller

this just gives me hinata vibes for no reason

like he dances in his seat when he’s driving

knows it word for fucking word😎✌️

he listens to this to get pumped

loves to play it so other people will think he’s cool tbh

also like time skip hinata and oikawa eat this song up?? they are obsessed with it

honorable mentions!

Listerine- Dayglow

Scrawny- Wallows

Like or Like Like- Miniature Tigers

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songs i think tsukishima kei listens to

hello queens i hope you all enjoy this one because tbh i struggled a bit😐 also he is for sure one to make you feel bad for liking basic music so very much incel energy

i’m getting insecure that these are boring😡😡

also this is probably the most fanon thing because i can’t see tsuki listening to anything else other than xxx bart simpson edits?

no angst, incel energy?, unorganized, fanon lmao

You’ve Got Everything Now- The Smiths

i think he dabbles in the smiths every once and a while

tsuki likes to tell every one that he listens to the smiths and that his music taste is superior

he literally like three of their songs LMAO

#girlboss

yamaguchi really likes a charming man so tsuki plays it when they’re together

O.K.- Mac Miller (feat. Tyler The Creator)

bad bitch syndrome🙄🙄

he blasts this shit in his rinky dink head phones during school

he listens to this and thinks he’s so cool

makes him think about getting a really good spike/block

the grind never stops😩

Backseat Freestyle- Kendrick Lamar

he made suga put this on the team playlist

hinata for sure was like 😳😳😳 omfg this is so good

tsuki feels so powerful when listening to kendrick let’s be real

he got into his music when kuroo played it at training camp

part of me thinks he would say the n word but let’s block that out rq

Tumblr Girls- G-Eazy (feat. Christopher Andersson)

this song summarizes how tsuki views women.

there is no way in HELL this man respects them cmon

also he sings this like he’s had sex before??

there is so much doubt in my brain that he has ever seen a woman naked

listens to this and thinks he’s the coolest bitch to hit the earth

Island In the Sun- Weezer

he likes to listen to this when it’s sunny out and the windows to his house are open

yams also enjoys this song so they listen to it together

makes him think of the beach

he would never admit it but he heard this song from hinata😐😐

mans will take this to his GRAVE

honorable mentions!

Ifhy- Tyler The Creator (feat. Pharrell Williams)

Harness Your Hopes- Pavement

Alright- Supergrass

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YOU SHOULD RLLY DO A WHAT SONGS U THINK KUROO TETSUROU LISTENS TO 👁👁 just a thought u don’t need to if u don’t want

YAS OMG i was working my way over to him😏😏

songs i think kuroo tetsurou listens to

reality check! he shits on pop music but i really want to think he’s smooth and cunning so we are ignoring that.🙄🙄

also i severely apologize because i’m trying to make them all diverse but i only know so many songs🥲🥲🥲 and i think that a lot of the boys have the same taste in music tbh.

unorganized, little no angst, lowkey fanon, mentions of partying/drinking, im sorry i feel like this one is boring :(

All Those Friendly People- The Funeral Suits

he likes to listen to this song when he’s working on assignments

it keeps him upbeat so he doesn’t get bored

this song kinda gives the vibe of trying to get a bunch of work done before you go out with friends

and you’re excited the whole time

he def gets a FUCK ton of work done before him and kenma go out and get food

GodLovesUgly- Atmosphere

tbh he literally listens to this so he can say the beginning

“you’re waiting for fucking slug?” PLEASE he would say it so snarky

he jams to the remix too!

but he doesn’t have a preference to either one

kenma showed to him😎🤞

My Name Is- Eminem

kuroo just loves being cunning/bratty

again with the one above he just likes being snarky it’s so fun to him

he listens to this and feels like such a bad bitch😤😤

him and bokuto have def tried to memorize all of rap god

bokuto swears he gets it 100% every time🙄

Stay- Post Malone

when miss sis in his feels he puts on posty

it’s more of a melancholy sad

he tends to think about all the things he didn’t do and how different life would have been😁

the feeling doesn’t last for long because he remembers that these things already happened and he can’t change them

Swimming Pools- Kendrick Lamar

this is mans FAVORITE party song

like he’ll be chilling at a function and if you play this song

he’s up on a table singing the lyrics

he sings so confidently even though he literally could take two shots and COLLASPE

he tries to keep up with bokuto and literally dies

honorable mentions!

A Milli- Lil Wayne

Dopamine- BØRNS

Safe and Sound- Capital Cities

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songs i think akaashi keiji listens to

if we’re being honest this man listens to the radio JFKWOAI but for funzies let’s say he has taste😘 idk why i think so low of them tbh🤨

mild angst, mentions of drinking, unorganized, summer vibes? girl idk

Cloud Nine- The Temptations

i feel like akaashi really enjoys 60s/70s music

mostly like “easy listening” which best described by me is like fleetwood mac

he LOVES bass lines

like actively seeks out songs that have catchy ones

he showed this song to bokuto and he tried to hit the falsetto note every time

 Beast of Burden- The Rolling Stones

driving around during the summer with the windows down is his favorite

when he’s wearing his sunglasses and smiling while singing😳😳

makes him think of the beach

he wishes he didn’t work so much so he could go more often

i just know he makes a microphone with his fist and sings into it PLEASE

From Eden- Hozier

this album is for sure one of his favorites

akaashi loves how raw hozier writes about people he loves

akaashi loves to love people too

he wants everyone to know he loves them

he listens to this type of music when he’s stuck working late

Pasadena- Young Mister

i don’t think akaashi’s favorite season is summer

but i think it holds a special place in his heart because it’s bokuto’s🥲

makes him think of training camps

anything windows down song

maybe like the morning drives for food/coffee after a night of drinking

Hot Rod- Dayglow

if you can’t tell i am excited for summer.😐

i think akaashi heard this in public somewhere and spent DAYS trying to find it

and when he did he danced around his apartment to it

although it sounds upbeat some of the lyrics legit make him sad like

“maybe i’m not all that you thought”

#secondchoice

ANYWAYS

honorable mentions!

Youforia- Mac Miller

Check Yes, Juliet- We the Kings

Spice- Sam Fender

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songs i think tooru oikawa listens to

i love oikawa so part of me thinks that he has really good taste in music and the other part of me thinks he literally can’t make a cohesive playlist to save his life. i would say i’m sorry but id be lying LMAO🤠

mentions of alcohol/partying, unorganized, mild spoilers, angst? insecurities? scared of the future? self image issues?

Vienna- Billy Joel

what is oikawa going to do when he gets old?

will he still be failing at everything he does?

he listens to this song thinking about all the years wasted

so much time spent towards a life that was shut down in one game

he is so scared of growing old and never finding his life’s purpose

Ribs- Lorde

he’ll being having the best time of his life

like taking shots, dancing around, being a man whore

and he’ll step foot in the bathroom and that’s where it all comes crashing down

he stares at himself in the mirror and wonders who he truly is

he wonders if this is all his life is going to be

he walks out and pretends that he didn’t just have an existential crisis and starts flirting with some girl again😋🤞

I Can’t Handle Change- Roar

he sat in his car after graduation and cried

everyone was getting ready for the end of year party

and he’s just sitting in his cap and gown crying because of how much has ended

he barely even knows the words but something about this song makes me ache

like his chest is going to cave in

Junior Varsity- Dayglow

everything is happening so fast

three years of high school have flown by and yet he feels as if he’s accomplished nothing

pushing himself to the point of injury just so he could succeed

regrets and insecurities constantly flooding through his mind

will i ever be good enough?

will i ever succeed?

high school damaged him in many ways

Do Not Wait- Wallows

argentina oikawa fucks up this whole album💅

he’s finally succeeding at something he learned to love again

he showed hinata this album and they listen to it while hanging out at the beach

most likely playing beach volleyball

he thinks of iwa and how much he misses him sometimes🥲

honorable mentions!

Only Angel- Harry Styles mans is horny as fuck all the time!! we love him for that tho

DNA.- Kendrick Lamar when he’s in his bad bitch mood he wants every one to believe he’s the best

Super Bass- Nicki Minaj he’s a barb. that’s it.