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this qrt has absolutely fucking sent me

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i just said "legend of zebra" to myself and laughed and then felt extreme and profound disappointment for laughing and now i'm expressing that on tumblr for the crazy gays to slap pity likes on as they eat their whole lemons

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Riverfront Drive, Bullhead City, Arizona.

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Art historians have debated what they call a "mysterious expression" on the girl in Manet's "Bar at the Folies-Bergere" (1882) but I'm pretty sure it's just Customer Service Face

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I (a baptised catholic) lost my virginity to a satanist the night before Pope Francis died. I fear this may be my fault.

noooooo that's so funny! It was definitely you

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You are the it girl of tumblr x

i am???

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Get a load of this fcked-up superscape file this is the sexiest thing that's ever happened to me

ahhhhHHHH there's fishies in here

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sometimes i’m like “i should buy some orange juice! i love it i don’t know why i never have it in the house” and then i get some and i remember it’s because some kind of dormant Scurvy Prevention Instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy, except it’s just me standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning chugging juice straight out of the carton like a crazed citrus gremlin 

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really funny example that does little to help explain the term but does have sisters kissing in it

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I went to a conference today and I had one of the fakest sounding experiences of my life. I want to share it but I feel I have to make a shitty comic in ms paint or something because I'm not sure how to recount it in text post format

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theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

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Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.